Fred was already at least 8 or 10 when his little sibling came into the world. And he absolutely adored them! Cooed over them, helped with taking care of them and keeping them fed and changed. But as his little sibling got a little older, his parents began going out more. As a teen, he was suddenly expected to babysit and look after his sibling alot more.
Fred was always there to keep them out of trouble. Stop them from coloring on walls, making a mess with their food, always checking on them to make sure they were okay at school when mom and dad wouldn't. Fred was always shy and introverted, but his social life at school tanked. Always having to excuse himself with "I have to go look after my baby brother/sister".
Not that Fred ever resented the kid for it. No, he loved them to bits. But it became a pattern. Always trying to look after others, always trying to keep the friends he did have out of sticky situations (like exploring some abandoned theme park). He was always "the mom friend", someone you could rely on.
So was it any surprise how anxious he got when Bright Eyes brought him to WonderWorld? Why he was so insistent on turning back at the slightest hint that something was wrong? Why he was so frustrated that Bright just. Wouldn't listen to him? Maybe he should have put his foot down and done more to say no. Then maybe they both could've been saved.
He never got to say goodbye to his little brother/sister.
Summary: Yang ponders what Mother's Day means to her.
Notes:
I am unbelievably unsatisfied with the ending on this, but I'm gonna stop metaphorically banging my head against the wall with it and just post it
This will almost certainly be rewritten in the future, both because of the previous point and because this thing is pretty surface level and I wanna flesh it out more
Yang deserves some acknowledgement for what she's been through, so happy Mother's Day to her! She shouldn't have had to be one, but she did good!
Mother's Day is always an odd occasion for Yang. She was never really able to puzzle it out.
"It's a day to celebrate the woman who brought you into this world," some people would tell her. But that woman was long gone.
"It's a day to celebrate the woman who raised and loved you," some people would tell her. But that woman was gone too.
"It's a day to celebrate the woman who loves you more than anything else," some people would tell her. But then Yang would grow silent and ponder, and the conversation would usually end there.
Yang has memories of being a young child, of holding tight to Taiyang with one hand and Ruby with the other, of being led to a headstone on a cliff, of being surrounded by the edges of a forest where blackbirds perched and wondering if her first mother was watching her through their eyes.
Yang has memories of being a young child, of awkwardly asking other kids in her class what their moms were like, of being told all about other kids' moms who were huntresses, and teachers, and nurses, and chefs, of being told how other kids' moms made homemade meals and desserts, and made homemade gifts, and taught them how to do all sorts of things.
Yang has a particular memory of being a young child, and searching the school library for recipes, and being handed a folded notebook page by the librarian who told her to "use it well." She remembers getting home that day and searching the entire house for everything she needed, and gathering up the ingredients in a neat little bunch, and grabbing a stool to comfortably reach the counters.
Yang remembers making dinner that night, and baking cookies for dessert. The meal was passable, and the cookies could never be as good as the ones made by Supermom. But Yang also remembers how Ruby excitedly asked for seconds when she cleared her plate, and her bright smile when she bit into the cookies.
Yang remembers how Taiyang and Ruby nearly got sick of that recipe, because the dinner had been passable and she wouldn't stop making it until it was damn near perfect. But it was worth the several weeks of almost-identical leftovers, because she noticed the differences in her sister's expression each time she changed something, no matter how small. And once she perfected it, she found a new recipe to make.
Yang has another particular memory of being a young child, and staying up late into the night cleaning the house, and getting money from Taiyang to buy party decorations, and hand-writing a dozen party invitations to throw Ruby a sweet little Halloween/Birthday party. She searched through a junkyard or two for hours to find just the right kind of metal scraps and brought them home, cleaned them up, and presented them to Ruby. She remembers being scared that it wasn't enough, but she was hugged tightly and excitedly thanked by her little sister.
There's another day Yang thinks about every now and then, the first day that Ruby came home crying over homework. She couldn't understand the work, and was so frustrated that her hands balled into fists and tears welled up in her eyes and she looked like she wanted to do nothing more than scream. So Yang days figuring out the work and explaining it in a thousand different ways until Ruby could do it all on her own. It took her countless tries and nearly as much frustration, but it was worth it to see the look on Ruby's face as the puzzle pieces fell into place in her mind.
And, finally, when Yang was a not-so-young child, maybe a few months before her fourteenth birthday, she remembers coming home from the library with her arms full of recipe books and textbooks. Ruby was waiting for her in the quiet house, and surprised her with a homemade card and the same recipe Yang had gotten from the school librarian all those years ago. The card had read "Happy Mother's Day" and had a heartfelt letter from her little sister scrawled messily on the inside.
It was the first time Yang had felt like her efforts were being acknowledged, and she still cherishes the memory to this day. She even still has the card tucked away in her nightstand back home, where she retrieves it from to reread it now and again. She nearly knows the whole thing by heart.
Mother's Day is always an odd occasion for Yang, because she's gone over ten years without a mother to celebrate. But every year, Ruby gives her a big hug and a bright grin, and tells her, "Happy Mother's Day, Yang!"
(A little writing warm up. Contains themes of religious trauma, parentification, neglect and emotional repression.)
"This is who you are."
The boy's eyes, shining like a pair of rainbow quartz polished to perfection, tried to convey understanding, but inside, his bewilderment only deepened.
"Do you understand?"
A lump formed in his throat. He couldn't say that he didn't, or her face would darken and wrath would descend upon that holy place. He dared not invoke such bad energy within the temple walls.
"Yes, mother."
It was as though a great tempest had passed by, yet still showed signs of returning.
The woman smiled and placed her hand on her son's pallid cheek. But the gesture was only a facade of maternal affection and her smile didn't meet her ever-watchful eyes.
"Good."
The word was cold, no sense of warmth or forgiveness behind it. Nonetheless, Douma had learned he couldn't give any indication that he knew this. Instead, he simply smiled and uttered a soft sigh, as if relieved. In reality, he was anything but.
His mind wandered back to what had happened to bring this all on. An old man had come to the temple that morning, asking to speak to 'the prophet'. Douma had sat quietly, as if in meditation, greeting the weary soul with a serene smile.
Upon seeing him, the man's knees buckled and he fell prostrate upon the wooden floor, his bony shoulders heaving with sobs. With his wizened forehead pressed at the foot of the altar, the man had begun to tell his life story.
What a sad, sad story it was, Douma thought. This poor man had lost everything and everyone he loved to war, disease and famine. Even his wife, the only person he had left, had recently departed from the world.
Raising his head, the old man's broken eyes gazed pleadingly into Douma's.
"Please, Holy One, I beseech you," His voice was raw from sorrow. "Show me the way."
Douma hadn't fully understood him. The man had used a lot of big words he couldn't yet define. But he could tell he was sad and lonely. Why was he asking Douma for help, through? Wasn't it young souls who turned to older ones for comfort? Or was that another old story with no truth behind it?
He couldn't remember what he had said; his mind was all a blur, trying so hard to understand what had transpired.
All he did know was that as soon as the old man had left, Douma's chest began to hurt. His eyes began to hurt, too. He had turned away, not wanting his parents to see him cry, but they noticed anyway. Of course they did. They could see everything he did and thought and felt. Secrets weren't allowed in the Eternal Paradise Temple.
Wiping his eyes on his sleeve, Douma's voice became a croak as he forced four words out: "I can't do it!"
He buried his face in his mother's leg, sniffling and longing for a warm hug. But it never came. Her aura remained cold and clinical.
"Don't speak of such things," Her voice wasn't harsh or strict, but it wasn't comforting either. "Allowing such doubts to creep in is inviting evil spirits to whisper in your ear. Do not allow yourself to stray from the path of divinity, my son."
Douma looked up at her, the pain in his chest replaced with a cold numbness mingled with confusion. "You are greatly blessed, Douma. The gods chose you to guide your fellow men and women to Paradise. Do not discard your holy duty."
That was when she had uttered those five words.
"This is who you are."
--------------------
Every time he went astray, Douma's heart hurt a little less. Every time he was reminded of his sacred purpose, the quicker his tears dried. Of course, he still wept for the poor humans that came to him bearing broken souls, but now he could stop and offer the disciples words of joy and comfort just as quickly.
The trick, he learned, was to treat his heart like a stone and the feelings he was required to show like a little stream in a forest. The water was free to flow over the stone, yet could never permeate it. He could do it so well now, putting on a perfect display of sympathy for his disciples. He could do, say, or give them anything they wanted, if only he didn't have to feel that horrible pain in his heart, like a rotted icicle.
Still, from time to time, in the dark silence of his room, when nothing stood between himself and the Great Nothing of the universe, Douma's mind would begin to wonder if his heart was made of stone or ice, or if he even had one to begin with.
He would think back to all those times he had seen children his age. They would run and play, laugh and sing. Their parents would hold their little hands, join their whimsical games, carry them home when the sun went down. He wondered what that would feel like; being all tired out from a day of adventures and being carried oh so lovingly to a comfortable little house, where a hearty bowl of miso broth and a warm futon was waiting for him.
But such things were beneath him. They always had been. He was freed from common rules, just as he was cut off from common pleasures. Like the sages, gurus and buddhas of ancient times, his was a high and lonely destiny.
So why, then, did he long to trade places with someone else, every night?
I don’t know if this would be called a trope (or if it even exists), but “child/teenage!whumpee protecting an adult whumpee”? It’s a thought thats clawed at me for several years and now that I’m writing a story with this in it, I’m curious what people think about the idea, if they think of it at all.
i love this idea, anon!
my personal preference would be a focus on the adult’s whump with mostly emotional whump for the kid/teen.
like, what if the adult hides an injury/illness because they’re the kid/teen’s only guardian so they have no other choice but to keep going? eventually, they literally cannot physically take another step and collapse/keel over. you’ve got boundless possibilities for physical and emotional whump. the guilt, the angst, the trauma reveals! the adult can’t relax or rest because they’re terrified of what could happen to their kiddo while they’re out of it, so healing takes way longer.
off the top of my head, ‘the last of us’ series had a fantastic version of this when joel is stabbed and incapacitated and ellie has to take on the role of protector/caretaker. the movie ‘light of my life’ also had some good whumpy scenes where the dad is beat to hell, shot, passes out and the daughter uses all the skills she’s learned from him to keep them alive/patch him up.
idk if i answered this the right way, anon. you’re my first ever ask! thank you for sharing!!!
Ashley was right about things with her and andrew being different after they killed their parents....
Like growing up, andrew is neglected and parentified as all hell. He's groomed into avoiding the reality of all sorts of relationship issues in favor of maintaining a "correct" reputation.
whether he and Ashley have a horribly codependent and unhealthy relationship or not, it's his job to maintain the facade of "normalcy."
To deny ashleys and his own attraction/confusion. To deny his and ashleys discomforts with their family and home life (including each other). To be in a constant power struggle with Leyley "bc he's the older one/supposed to know better" ie always to blame.
So when they kill their parents ie the main motivators (if douglas even counts) for appearing normal and functional, I think andrew loses a GIANT chunk of his personal reasoning. He's starting to fundamentally change as a person with renee gone. before he would comply with her demands for parentification under the impression that she would keep providing the little support and recognition she has been as long as he "behaved."
I think this is one of many reasons why Ashley's noncompliance is so so upsetting to him. Why eventually he has no patience for her. He's already being neglected, doesn't have healthy or positive relationships with either of his caregivers, but as a young boy renee can still threaten him with worse treatment, or more intense abandonment. He spends the entirety of his life caught between a rock and a hard place by everyone who's supposed to care for him. He's incapable of making and maintaining truly positive relationships with kids in school, bc his mother's and sisters expectations don't leave room for him to be a person with any sort of healthy relationships, even to himself.
Ashley is incredibly perceptive, even if what she picks up on doesn't always change her decision making.
In a way, She is the impulse where andrew is the intent.
But andrew has the same urges and thoughts that Ashley does. So he gets pissed at himself for having "thought crimes," copes (unhealthily, bottles up the anger and dissapointment), tells Ashley to act in a way he thinks is an appropriate response, and when she inevitably does whatever she wants he gets to be the reprimanding force he always saw his mom be. He gets to slam the gavel down and finally decide on Ashley's punishment.
When they're in the car in the camp parking lot, the most private place that only they have access to after committing more tabboos than either of them can count, he gives in to some of his urges. He begins doing more that indicates he sees Ashley as some sort of horrible accessory or misbehaved pet rather than a person with autonomy (who, might i add, could be fully capable of recieving consequences for their actions completely on her own...). If she's going to act out of line, he's going to "correct" her. Bc renee isn't here to catch him taking his responsibility in a "bad" way. Renee won't find out about his new solution to an old problem. Renee is dead. And if Ashley wants to keep disobeying him, she'll be dead too. At this point they're effectively above/skirting around the law, cooperating with demons, eating people...what real consequences are left for him?
One of his last urges he refuses to indulge in is around fucking his younger sister....but even as he's pissed at Ashley for making comments or teasing him, he still wants it. Even if its a very shallow urge. Even if its simple misogyny on his end, seeing tits and someone who won't leave him after he gets his rocks off. Unfortunately for him I think it is a lot deeper than that. The romantic angst has a chokehold on him. He's so neglected and abandoned that he's just looking for someone he can be close with that won't leave. And he already knows Ashley. He's put soooooooo much effort into trying to make Ashley a good, respectable person that it would be convenient if he didn't have to put effort into another person ever again. He knows her so well, it would be a waste not to take full advantage of what's in front of him. The way he treats julia supports all of this. But he doesn't have to go home to julia, she is the perfect/stereotypical mistress to the toxicity he has with ashley.
In a way, andrew is worse to ashley than renee. Of course comparing like that is kind of useless bc the circumstances are just SO different, but hear me out. Renee was verbally, emotionally, and psychologically violent, but she seemed very intent on avoiding physical violence. The way I see it, the graves kids physically violenced their parents to death, and andrew sees a whoooole new solution. His parents are problems > they kill their parents = he used violence and now has less problems. I think this is one of the last things andrew needed to see/experience before he inevitably was going to justify physical violence against Ashley. Because it WAS inevitable. In a sense, he's been waiting for the two of them to truly be isolated enough that he can get away with treating her this way. And he immediately gaslights her into accepting his conditions, even though she tried to put up a fight. But she relents. She has no defenses against him, no choices but to start acknowledging the fact that andrew legitimately has a want to kill her. The only person whos ever been there for her. The only person she ever liked. The only person whos shown her love and devotion and submission and attraction and etc...
It's because andrew didn't actually have anyone to raise him or help him through all of the issues he collected throughout his life, that it was only a matter of when and where before he took this turn. We see him be abusive in just about every other sense of the word up until that point, especially with ashley.
Despite renee not being physically abusive, she is extremely violent, punitive, dissmissive, absent, overbearing, controlling, etc... Andrew learns everything he knows from renee. But when she is killed by his hands, he feels he gets to usurp the power she held.
Ashley seems unwilling to see the deep similarities between andrew and renee. She's probably avoiding understanding how much importance and comfort renee holds for her. She might see similarities between andrew and renee, but acknowledging them on any level probably won't give her anything she wants more than it would bring discomfort or pain.
The way Harriet was parentified not just by her dad but by his crew (and as a childcare servant for everyone else) just hurts to think about sometimes.
I really want an arc where both Maddie and Buck admit and come to terms with the fact that Maddie was parentified.
We know that Maddie had a hard time admitting to herself that Doug was abusing her and that was textbook IPV. But to have to admit that she was abused by her parents too? Especially when she's been working to repair their relationship?
And can you imagine Buck realizing that one of the bright spots of his childhood - his relationship with Maddie - happened at Maddie's expense?
Can u explain ur reyna joining the hunters post i agree but the tags confused me ❣️ teehee
this is immensely rambling i apologize in advance it is 1:30 am rn lol
yes! so basically throughout hoo, we are obviously introduced to reyna and her sister hylla, and we are informed pretty quickly that reyna is obviously a camper at camp jupiter and from the way she talks about camp it’s clear that she loves camp jupiter and new rome but she is understandably overwhelmed by the whole… situation. we learn that her and hylla escaped from circe’s island after percy and annabeth destroyed everything and her and hylla split up at some point during their journey west.
when talking about each other and when reyna is talking about her coming to camp jupiter there’s this air of almost regret that i personally feel she has. reyna, who is canonically around the same age as jason (so around 15) left circe’s island when she was around 10/11 as we know her dad died/was killed when she was 10 due to him becoming a mania and almost killing hylla.
similar to nico and bianca and also hazel and her mom, reyna clearly feels a lot of unresolved guilt and feelings about her father’s death and her hand in it. she did it to protect her sister but she also loved her father despite how abusive he had become.
we can infer (this is based on what we see in their canon interactions which admittedly are limited) that reyna feels a sense of responsibility to hylla despite hylla being the older sister. she went to circe’s island bc hylla told her to, and she fought against the pirates again bc hylla told her to and she didn’t want to be hurt/killed. we don’t know when hylla and reyna split up, but we do know reyna has been at camp jupiter for 4 years and when she is brought up to hylla, her sister remarks, “Reyna…that foolish girl.” not exactly the most warm thing to say about your beloved sister right? hylla like a lot of older sisters had to take on her sister’s wellbeing and her own. she canonically took care of reyna at a young age, despite only being only 6 years older than reyna. as an older sister (despite me not being a girl lol #nonbinarythings) i recognize this.
older siblings by society (especially afab older siblings) are often forced into parental roles, and even more so in toxic/abusive households like reyna and hylla’s. this, similarly to bianca and nico’s situation, can cause a form of resentment and anger due to the parentification of the older sibling. bianca chose to become a hunter bc it allowed her to be her own person for a short while, similarly to what hylla presumably did when she became a amazon. reyna however went in the other direction and decided to choose camp jupiter and actively take on the weight of joining the legion. she actively choose to go to a place where she wouldn’t be a person, she would be a number - a soldier in a crowd of hundreds.
reyna (and nico to a certain degree as well) like many other younger siblings who have older siblings who played parental roles to them, purposely choose to become something where they were just considered one of something. not something individually bc they don’t know how to be individuals. reyna has always had her sister just like nico always had his.
i see this in my younger sister. she struggles with being her own person bc for so long she was attached to me. and when i was younger, i held a lot of resentment towards her for that. similarly, reyna and hylla resent each other to a certain degree bc of this. they both made different choices that they felt were best for them and the other simply doesn’t approve/understand their choice.
and that’s why i find it so angering that reyna became a hunter. bc she never wanted that. she had the opportunity to join the amazons or the hunters. she turned them down. why she would choose to join the hunters now makes no sense. yes she wanted to retire but that doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to be an eternal maiden!
god it’s just so immensely frustrating. anyways 🙄
this is primarily opinion based but i do think there is solid evidence in canon for this and i just have MANY feelings about reyna and hylla as you can see lol
