#tw system doubt

[plural-affirmations]

Here's to systems who experience doubt about their systemhood.

System doubt is a very real and present issue for a lot of plurals. This one goes out to them.

Shoutout to:

Hosts who doubt themselves or the existence of their system a lot

Alters who were made to think they're singlets by abusers or toxic people in their life

Littles/syskids who don't understand they're part of a system

Traumaholders who are so traumatized that they end up shutting down the possibility of being a system

Systems that go through frequent collapses/dormancies

People who aren't sure if what they're experiencing "counts" as being plural

Plurals with severe amnesia that leads them to forget the others

Those who are convinced their sysmates are "just" hallucinations, kintypes, BPD, etc.

The ones who have been professionally diagnosed, but still don't fully believe it

And anyone else I missed.

It's going to be ok. I promise, doubt is normal -- it's distressing, and it's hard to handle, but it's normal. I even doubt my own system from time to time. You're not alone.

Be kind to yourself today, ok?

🖤💜💙💚💛

[sysventing]

*some old alters go dormant and a handful of new ones come forward, basically making a whole new system aside from a few old alters staying* oh no I’m faking

*a bunch of old alters who went dormant come out of dormancy and effectively double our alter headcount* oh no I’m faking

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[protector-culture-is]

Protector culture is “please stop telling yourself you’re faking being plural and fictionkin. for fucks sake, you use first person plural pronouns, know things about characters that go beyond just headcanons, hate apples sometimes and ONLY SOMETIMES, relate to ENA and unhealthy amount, and i ROAST people from co-con all the time, you’re not faking just cause we don’t have amnesia or headspace you dumbass /aff”

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[the-flower-field-system]

us: I must be faking if I were really a system it would be more clear who is fronting

also us: *different styles of typing* *memory loss* *memories in 3rd person* *different hearing abilities between us* *completely different genders and sexualities* *has been into the headspace and seen the headmates* *dissacotiates heavly* *different speech impediments and speaking patterns*

[sysventing]

As a (likely Front-Locked) Host of a system that has only been truly explored for two months, sometimes I feel like it's all fake and I'm delusional- or that I'm making this all up, and the others aren't real (even though- I've had cases where two different headmates have co-fronted at different points as in, I still felt like myself, but I did feel like them as well and I knew they were not me, so it definitely felt real at those times), and I'm so scared- because I like all of them, but what if it's not real... on the other side, why can't anyone else front more and why can't I hear them more often unless I focus on it and that just makes me feel like a fake more and I don't understand what a headspace is- is it the void I can imagine in my head that they're talking in when I hear their voices and see them in as well as one of them constantly sitting down on a chair in the void- is that what a headspace is? I don't know, and it all scares me.

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[sysventing]

; I know I'm plural, I know I'm a system but I feel like I'm faking aspects of it. Like I'm purposefully exaggerating my symptoms to feel better. Which in turn makes me feel like everything is fake. I keep making up things that I have no memory of ever happening, the others never correct me on them which makes me think I've just lost all personal connection to them, like I was there but not really, like the memory was made with me but not stored with me. Which is fucking ridiculous. I'm so so confused, all I know is I'm plural. All I know for sure is that, and it's infuriating because I !! want to know more !!! I deserve to know more, but I just ?? can't ??

; and I think us being sleepconscious and me being front bound or whatever the fuck makes this denial worse, because the others are rarely awake and I can never go check on them because I !! Can't access headspace !! But they update me every now and then, whenever they're awake, with things like " we played cards !! " " there's a video game thing in here now, we're racing each other ! " " they're braiding each others hair all lovey dovey it's terrible you should've seen it " " yh he just tripped right over and lied there it was hilarious " and I hate it because I want to be there. I feel like I have friends who I only see hanging out on socials, but are never invited because I'm locked in a fucking box or something. and there's no key, I don't know who's holding it, maybe I am. I don't know

; I'm already in this odd mental state irl, and I can't help but feel they'll get bored of just sitting up there and they'll need me to do something for once. But I can't, I'm so tired and done and I don't know why I feel like I'm faking my plurality, they're up there and I feel like they don't want to be anymore. Not in the depressive way, but in the I'm depressed or some shit and am ruining their days and they just want to live their lives happily. Sometimes it feels like we're all neurodivergent but I'm the only mentally ill one. They aren't doing shit because I'm not doing shit and !! It's not fair !!

; I don't even know where I'm going with this. I don't even know where half of this is coming from. I just feel so unfulfilled and I think they know it. Maybe I'm just out of it but none of this feels real anymore

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[plural-affirmations]

Here's to system members who feel invalid for having varying kinds of interests compared to their headmates! Sometimes, it's hard being in a system. One of the challenges being plural might present is the differences between headmates.

While having interests that are too similar may stir up feelings of invalidation, the same can be true for having interests that are too different.

Having the same (or near same) interests can cause people to think they're faking due to probably thinking something along the lines of "well, if we're too similar, maybe they don't exist at all".

Conversely, alters or headmates that are too different may leave someone feeling they're faking because they're "trying too hard".

This post is meant to acknowledge those people! We see you, we love you, and we assure you that you're still a valid system/multiple/plural/whatever you identify as!

Please take care of yourself&! You're doing amazing!

🖤💜💙💚💛

[sysventing]

started worrying about faking being a system too much and now i’m an empty system which is. weird. i have a feeling we won’t split again for a while and i am. NOT looking forward to living completely on my own...

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