#undergrad problems

[dearearlyarchaeologists]

Can someone just make a grad program called

Archaeological Art from the 1-7th centuries CE in Jewish Contexts

And make my life a year longer

[jungleuniversity]

always an et al., never a first author 

[threeninetyfour]

Me: I’m in a good mood today.  My Brain: Well, we can’t have that. Let’s start thinking about your non-existent grad school prospects.  

[the-moons-kind-regards]

This is just for one class. I’m an undergrad.

I’ve asked the history, math, and language departments what their senior seminar/capstone class students are required to do to pass the class and graduate; it isn’t anything near this. [everything below is copy+pasted directly from the course syllabus: for tl;dr & my comments look for the bold in brackets]

Material Required:

• Kuther, Tara L. (2012). The Psychology Major’s Handbook.  Belmont:  Cengage Learning Inc. ISBN-13: 9781111302696 • Rosnow, Ralph L., & Rosnow, Mimi (2009). Writing Papers in Psychology (8th ed.). Belmont: Cengage Learning Inc. ISBN-13: 9780495509561 (Recommendation to purchase if you do not have it saved from Experimental Psychology) • American Psychological Association. (2009). Publication Manual of the American Psychological Association. Washington, DC: American Psychological Association. (Recommended as reference book). • Lab Book: Gaultney, J. F. (2007). Doing research: A lab manual for psychology. Belmont, CA: Thomson and Wadsworth. (Saved from Experimental Psychology) • Any GRE preparation software or book is a must. • A pocket English dictionary is a must for every class • Must have access to the library resources including online data bases and APA website http://www.apa.org

[so...4 text books, one of which she expects us to buy b/c it’s not on the rental list for this class - it was a rental book from a previous class, not that she told us to buy it then. Who the hell has this much money? Plus GRE practice books/software? Are you kidding me?]

Required Assignments: The Students must complete the following minimum requirements to receive credit for the course (In case an item is missing, you will not receive a passing grade for the course) in addition to thoroughly graded assignments:

1. Graduation application: Complete the graduation application with the help of your advisor. Submit a copy of the completed application for course grade. If you have a problem contacting your designated advisor, feel free to consult your course professor.  Even if you have another semester or so to graduate, you should work on your graduation application and plan the remaining courses.

2. Career planning and placement services: Complete campus career planning and placement services formalities (registration) for graduating seniors including mock interview with them. Please submit evaluation form for credit. 3. Community Service: Community service in the department is one of the important components of this course. It may include tutoring the peers (Statistics and Experimental) to prepare for Senior Seminar, working with the instructor, volunteer work in mental hospital or counseling clinic, PSI CHI and Psychology Club activities etc. that your instructor can comfortably supervise. Before you start working, you need your professor’s formal approval. You must have minimum 20 hours of community work. 4. GRE (General\Psychology): Take GRE General or Psychology. 5. Departmental Evaluation Survey, Reflection Paper and Exit Exam:  Your experiences in the department reflecting amendments in the existing practices along with an exit exam and a reflection paper for graduating seniors is to be completed.

[She’s making us take the GRE...it’s a $200 test, most of the students can get a waiver from financial aid, but it only covers 50% of the cost. So $100 out of pocket plus travel expenses because our school is not a testing center for the GRE; and the school isn’t providing transportation either. No other department requires their students to complete a mock interview w/ the Career Center; and I already have a job. Most of us do. Why do we need this? We’ve done interviews before. Community service? For a class? I already have a full schedule b/c of 2 clubs (I’m on the e-board for one of them), and an honor society, plus I have a job and 5 other classes. Are you fucking serious? And all of this in addition to class assignments (listed below). These aren’t even graded! They just have to be done or else we automatically fail, what the hell?]

Thoroughly Graded Assignments: 1. Research Project: It includes developing a research idea, using theory to choose a research design, reviewing essential descriptive and inferential statistical procedures, choosing participants, considering an appropriate data collection procedure, and preparing and submitting a research proposal in the first week of the semester (review and revise your proposal for Experimental Psychology course); and after conducting the project or collecting the data, preparing the final research report for presentation and submission by the end of the semester.

a) Review, revise and submit the research proposal including the data collection instrument, CITI training certificate and completed appropriate IRB application.   (300 Points)         b) Collect, analyze and interpret the data to write a final project report     (300 Points)

c) Oral defense of research findings and poster presentation     (100 Points) 2. Report and Presentation on the required textbook: Submit and present a report on the required text for this course. (100 Points)      3. GRE Practice Test: Take two GRE General/Subject practice tests and turn in the scores before taking the actual GRE. The students are encouraged to apply for GRE and use the resources for GRE fee waivers on campus.  Bring in proof of registration for credit. (100 Points) 4. Exploring graduate school opportunities – Complete a review of 5-8 websites and other sources on graduate school opportunities in psychology. Include eligibility, financial burden and detailed information on what the school provides.

4a) Submit and present a summary of at least five graduate school programs preferably in different schools available to psychology majors including the program information, eligibility, financial scenario, scholarships/ fellowships/ work study etc. opportunities for earning and the admission process.       (50 Points)

4b) Apply to five graduate schools of your choice. Your professor should approve your completed applications before mailing. Your resume and personal statement will be evaluated as part of the application. (50 Points)       5. Exploring job opportunities – Complete a review of job opportunities for psychology majors at different levels of preparation and training using websites and other sources of job information relative to career opportunities in psychology. (50 Points)

5a) Submit and present a summary of at least five jobs in psychology or related area with different levels of preparation and training that should include nature of job, job description, eligibility, salary and perks etc., and the application process. (50 Points) 5b) Apply to five discipline related jobs. Prior to mailing, your professor must approve your completed applications. Your resume and personal statement will be evaluated as part of the application. (50 Points)       5c) Locate the career opportunities in and around Elizabeth City community where psychology graduates are frequently employed or there are internship or job opportunities for psychology majors. Write a report on job description and analysis of training and experience that seems best suited to employment in at least one of those facilities, on the basis of your visit to the facility and interview with the supervisor or human resources person. Also include the name and phone number for the person who was interviewed by you or who had arranged your tour. (50 Points) 6. Conference/s in Psychology:  Attend conference/s on Psychology like undergraduate conference in Psychology for better understanding of the field. Proceedings of the conference/s will be presented to the Psychology students at Psychology Club/Psi Chi meetings. For information about conferences check with your professors or Psi Chi officers or browse the Internet. NC Psychological Association Undergraduate Annual Conference will be in November that I coordinate for my students. (100 Points)

7. Two exams (Midterm and Final) on GRE items/job searching/interviewing/professional etiquettes etc. (200 Points)

[I’m actually fine with the research project - as long as she doesn’t pull any bullshit like last semester. (Don’t even ask). She expects us to read the text books and make a powerpoint - to be presented to the class; it’s due this Wednesday. So that’s 3 weeks since we got the damn syllabus...? Doesn’t seem like enough time to me if you expect students to go through the whole book and use outside resources. GRE practice tests. Two of them. I don’t even want to take the GRE - I don’t want to go to graduate school. And neither do most of the students in the class. We’ve talked about it. We’ve told her about our plans too. She’s not taking it off the list. And we have to apply to at least 5 graduate schools. Those fucking things cost money, who’s paying for this shit? (Oh, but she says we don’t have to pay the application fee as long as we send in the application. I don’t think she gets how applications work here. I’m going to be drowned in emails and phone calls from these schools. Not to mention how bad it looks on me when I have to tell them that I’m actually not interested in going to their school; I only applied because I was required to for a class assignment!) Job opportunities. I already have a job, and it’s a pretty good one too ($10/hr in the South East US, in a right-to-work state). But no, we have to apply to 5 jobs - and create a resume (btw, her idea of a resume is, for me at least, 3 pages long. No employer is going to look at that). Mandatory attendance to a psychology conference. No transportation provided. Last year the conference she picked was a 4 hour drive away - yeah, that’s right, we don’t get to pick which conference we go to; it’s all up to her.]

[iknowireadthatsomewhere]

On my own personal demon

This honors thesis is going to kill me. Or my spirit. I’m not sure I have ever felt so inadequate in my life. This is a 34 page pile of horseshit. I just have to finish it (again), and then I can pretend it never existed.

On that note, back to revisions.

[thelaughingwillow]

sorry absolutely no one has to read this i just wanted to type it out for my own mental clarity or enjoyment or something idk

being an undergrad ultimately interested in grad school/academia can be difficult and confusing for a lot of reasons (note that i don’t mean that it’s ‘hard’ in a, like, ‘my day to day existence is taxing’ or ‘i feel there is some injustice here’; ultimately none of this is that big of a deal, i absolutely love my life, just wanted to talk about a few specific struggles) , and i’m sure it’s hard for everyone, and i have to remember that, i’m hoping these experiences are pretty universal because going to a small school means i’m one of the only people i know really interested in doing critical theory long term, so the hard part of this is i feel like i’m going it alone, in that i have no one to talk about these things with, or bounce ideas off of, or complain, or anything , which is part of why i’m writing this out here

strike through i used to talk about these things with lucas all the time but then that blew up in my face for a lot of complicated reasons that are not his fault, but anyway moral of the story is i now have a complex about talking about these things with him, end strike through

it’s hard because no one ever just introduces you to what this world is so you always feel like you’re stumbling in the dark, and the problem is everyone has their commitments! and their stances! and their little things so it’s not like an unbiased introduction could possibly exist and you have to take literally everything you hear with a grain of salt, add to this it’s even more confusing because professors rarely if ever come out and say “my teaching/what i’ll tell you is informed by these commitments and stances and traditions that i follow, here’s what those are what those mean” so you just spend a lot of time doing guessing games and just wishing someone would tell you what’s going on. like i’ll never forget the time i asked a professor what semiotics was and she was literally like “oh, you don’t need to worry about that, we don’t really do that anymore” and like what. is. a. 20. year. old. sophomore (which i was at the time) supposed. to. do. with. that???? like, i literally learned nothing from this statement other than semiotics is yet another thing that academics fight over/get snarky about, except i didn’t really know how to understand her comment or why she would say that or What Kind of Academic Says Things Like That (tm), and if it was “true” or if it were only true for certain kinds of academics doing certain kinds of work and in that case, which ones? and literally, how am i supposed to figure that out. who am i supposed to ask. i can’t google it. and literally everyone i ask is going to have their own commitments! 

and it’s frustrating because i feel like (whether or not this is actually true) i’m constantly getting dismissed and being thought of like “oh, well, she’s an undergrad, she doesn’t need to worry about this at that level” even though i tell everyone i want to go to grad school! and that i want to do theory! well maybe i should make the latter more clear but considering i’ve just very recently even been able to figure out what that means (or rather, the plethora of things that can mean), because no one tells you these things. No one tells you what theory is, no one tells you what semiotics is, NO ONE tells you what dialectics is, no one tells you what anything is. (this is a bit of an exaggeration. i am being a bit whiny.) Most of my classes don’t even deal with theory directly; we’re just reading literature (I’m an English major). So how am I supposed to figure out what thinkers to align myself with or what I believe or anything at all really?

And the problem is academia is built upon everyone being so snarky and rude all the time, like you form your commitments or figure out your stuff or whatever and then you mercilessly make fun of everyone else, so it’s really scary!! to like anything! like, i read guy debord for the first time sophomore spring and thought this is really cool! i like this! but i have this vague impression that people think his work is really dumb now? but i don’t know who! or why! and i don’t know who to ask! so i’m just afraid to like anything! like i read althusser for the first time this semester and i was like lOVE IT! but then someone made an offhand remark about him not being a real marxist and i was like ???? or like, and here i am scared and embarrassed to say it, but i think foucault is useful! but you can’t like althusser AND foucault, right? but why not? and how in the world am i supposed to figure this out? when i’m afraid to like anyone or anything without someone snarking about me about how dumb and naive that is?

maybe none of this would be a problem at all if i didn’t intentionally follow so many academics (well grads and undergrads, not professors) on tumblr so all i’m seeing is their snarky text posts with no context and no way to get context. like they’ll just make posts making fun of a certain thinker or school of thought, and most of the time they won’t really explain. or if they do explain they’ll use a lot of words i don’t know yet (like dialectics! or semiotics!), and like, where and how am i supposed to learn those words? and it’s certainly not their responsibility to explain/contextualize everything they say to me. honestly following them IS really special and important to me, because it’s the only place i get to see these conversations being had at all, so through a lot of guessing and groping i can start to figure out “oh, this is what it means to call your self a (blank)ist, and these theorists are (blank)ists, and they really don’t like theorists x, y, and z, because of these reasons”

and i know i’m being dramatic and dumb. like, i know this process isn’t supposed to be easy, and that no one is going to hold my hand, and that it will be a lot of stumbling around in the dark and that’s okay since i’m an undergrad and all. like, it’s okay for me to like foucault and althusser right now even though in ten years i might look back and think, “ahh, gross! that was so naive of me!” because that’s just normal. i have to remember that confusion and not knowing is the norm, even in grad school. like, the anth department is really small here, so most of my anthropology classes are mixed undergrad/grad, which is a really special space for me because it means i get to actually interact with grad students in the flesh instead of just reading their text posts on tumblr, and they haven’t figured it all out yet. like a bunch of them this semester didn’t know what hermeneutics was, and that was okay!

it’s just frustrating because everyone seems to have formed their commitments already. like i follow at least one undergrad on here who is already making snarky comments about theorists. and is reading a TON of theory on his own. and he’s a year younger than me. and i’m like how? did you? get where you are? and i know it was probably just from reading a bunch of theory. and i could do that, but in a lot of ways i don’t have the confidence for that because a. where do i start? what if i start with the wrong person? and b. sure, i can read something, but who knows if i’ve understood it correctly? like i really need to talk about theory to let it sink in and form opinions about it and definitely to contextualize it. and honestly the fact that it seems like everyone is blissfully reading theory on their own and i don’t feel capable of that gives me a ton of anxious, stupid Woman in Academia feels and I know that’s dumb and maybe an excuse but here we are. 

anyway, i have to remember the good. and a lot of the good is my feminist theory class this semester, which was so so special and amazing for me, if not only because it was the first time in my academic career that i really did get to wrestle through theory with other people (technically i took a ‘theory’ class sophomore year that’s a major requirement but it was a miserable experience for lots of reasons and i learned basically nothing except maybe that i don’t like psychoanalytic theory), and a professor who is so important and brilliant but also so kind and willing to help us, and who really really likes me, and i grew so much because of that, and the work i’m doing is so much more interesting now because of that class. and even my anthropology class this semester we worked through a lot of theory, and even though it wasn’t theory i was always super into, i grew because of that too. baby steps. we’ll get there. 

if for some reason someone did read this whole rant and has some advice to offer, please feel free to. 

[starrypawz]

Basically seems the college and uni can’t really get those two papers I’m pretty sure I need for my dissertation

Uni: ‘There’s no funding for you because you’re with a partner institution although we didn’t say that until you tried to get the paper’

College: It’s too expensive, can you find something else on the topic through what we have? Although you’ve exhausted all other resources and probably found every easily accessible paper on the topic and we basically have access to nothing anyway

[whenincambridge]

submission: Applying for an MPhil: