#unequal relationship

[howifeltabouthim]

If he wouldn't make himself equally vulnerable in the exchange, giving as well as taking, then it was theft.

Brandon Taylor, from Minor Black Figures

[ezhilmozhi]

Shaoshang recollects LBY's words and actions then decides to catch feelings?

Also, the imbalance of power is not in their social status or power or influence.

It's that they're both at different stages of their lives. Comparably, Niaoniao has less world experience than a military man whose led battles most of his life, is a nominal part of royalty, and is feared by most of the noble classes. Even if he were on their social level - i.e. not an adopted son of an Emperor or his Dad was an ordinary farmer, someone like Ling Bu Yi would still have more power in the relationship than a very young girl.

[melting-puppets]

Unbeta-ed rant about Scarlett St. Claire’s Hades and Persephone’s series. 

(spoilers will not be hidden; those who haven’t read the books, read at your own risk) 

This is sort of short rant...I hope. So I have been honestly hyped from various forms of media; tumblr, Pinterest, etc. about “a Touch of Malice” by Scarlett St. Claire. It’s Hades and Persephone, everyone’s favourite myth (second favourite for myself~) and how could any contemporary myth loving nerd doesn’t want to read it, right? 

I’ve never read ‘a Touch of Darkness” or “a Touch of Darkness” until today, but I have just went through the first book, three-quarter way finished with the second book and I just have to...I just have to stop there. At that scene where Hades up and asks Persephone to marry him after a trip to the Iniquity.   

I just...cannot. I cannot anymore. I can’t do this. 

The...portrayal of Hades and Persephone’s relationship is...astounding to put kindly. I...What freakin’ development has there been in the first two books? I CANNOT PUT UP WITH THE UTTER BS THAT I AM SUPPOSE TO BELIEVE THAT THESE TWO ARE HAVING AN ENVIABLY HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. 

Okay, I hope nobody disses me about ‘if I dislike it so much stop reading’ but I am probably going to finish reading to see how it ends because I must. I need this book to introspect here. On Hades, On Persephone. On everything that is horribly frighteningly wrong about this novel and it’s portrayal of love. 

There’s no love here at all, and it makes my heart break. I feel frustrated for Persephone at every turn because at no point does she get control or form of footing with Hades, and it hurts. It’s like I’m baited to believe that she actually could be his equal but the writing *weeps* I’m despairing at the writing! Hades ruined to become an insatiable sex god, and Persephone unable to have any sense of agency when it comes to him. Hades caging and grooming and just basically manipulating Persephone at every turn and it isn’t beautiful at all. It doesn’t make my heart flutter or make me cheer for them-- instead it only just makes me want to cry because please stop, stop doing this. Stop! STOP!

Persephone’s drowning in him *cries* She isn’t finding herself, but learning to normalise Hades’s controlling behaviors, his stalking, his possessiveness, and that isn’t healthy. Persephone isn’t able to control whenever Hades comes to see her, Persephone isn’t able to ever have any privacy of her own-- basically going to Iniquity knowing full well that it is inevitable that Hades would find out. Persephone isn’t told of anything, consulted or even acknowledged whenever it comes to big decisions--for example the threats made by Apollo, Hades solved her problems, because he “cared” for her. He “loved” her. 

THAT IS TOTAL CRAP. That isn’t love. That’s possession. That’s erasing any agency and independent thought from your partner and making them accept only your decision as the best solution. ThAT’S USING SEX TO SUBDUE & MISDIRECT THE CONVERSATION, PREVENTING ANY COMMUNICATION AND SWEEPING IT UNDER ARUG BECAUSE WOHOO, nobody could resist carnality can they? Nobody can keep it long enough in their pants to even use they freakin’ brains and work this out like a pair of intelligent people. 

This rendition of Persephone is disheartening. This portrayal of Hades is just devastatingly disappointing. Where’s the substance the relationship? Where is the heart and brain without the arousal and attraction? The narrative is so flat...

I’m sorry but Scarlett St Claire’s portrayal of Persephone isn’t the defender of the people that I was hoping to see. Neither was Hades able to measure up in my eyes. 

This isn’t a hate letter by the way but I’m just...disappointed. I felt betrayed as a myth enthusiast-- and even as a contemporary myth enthusiast. It’s just...toxic. 

And if anyone wants my point of comparison-- because I suck at being just as eloquent as those who could write analysis and beautifully agreeable opinions that doesn’t offend anyone (sorry for offence by the way), I’d recommend those who read this (I doubt that anyone would but for few precious souls), to give this AO3 author’s take on Persephone a read. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22023145

Artemysia93 (the author) way of building the relationship between Hades and Persephone and even Demeter, is simply, wholesome. It’s an ideal. And I just wish to have seen a similar in-depth perspective when I had read Scarlett St. Clarie’s novels. 

I’ll close this on the note that ‘a Touch of Darkness’ and ‘a Touch of Ruin’ just... propagates very toxic forms on what a healthy relationship should look like, the kind of things that I’ve seen most YA/Adult authors have been trying to learn to get past and rectify it. The male lead is a laughable caricature of what a man or partner should act like, and the female lead fails to prove that she is any better than the hopeless portrayal society has on women. In the end, they aren’t made to be equals. The disparity is there, and it hurts to see it. 

[kelkat9]

Santa Baby - The Next Christmas

Title:  Santa Baby - The Next Christmas (1/2)

Author: @kelkat9

Pairing:  Ten/Rose AU

Rating: NSFW

Warnings:  Slight BDSM, CEO/Admin Relationship, Secret Relationship, dirty talk, desk sex - he has control issues - sort of Dark Doctor.  This fic is not for everyone and is not holiday fluff

Tropes:  Office Romance, Secret Relationship, locked in a building

Summary:  A year ago, Rose Tyler, executive assistant to Jack Harkness, CFO of Vortex Companies, ended up teaching CEO Jonathon Smith about enjoying Christmas.  They ended up enjoying each other rather more than the holiday part.  And after a rocky start, they continued their steamy relationship in private.  At their one year anniversary, another company holiday party approaches. Rose wants to push Jonathon to the next step beyond erotic nights in his flat .  She wants them be a proper couple in the public eye and prove romance isn’t a weakness and they can make Vortex stronger together.

[ninepentz]

Core values in relationships

You can find out who's worth your effort, attention, time, consideration, energy, by observing what their core values are.

All of that has an affect on how we feel about ourselves, so this is why we need to be careful of who we let in.

When you're around someone who doesn't listen to what you have to say, values opposite of what you value, has different/clashing goals, or if they constantly ruin your vibe when you're around them. That would be someone you don't share core values with.

So example, if they like to argue things out while you like to talk things out, depending on how likely they are to compromise with you says a lot about how much of yourself you should invest into them.

I feel like if they can't respect you in the most basic/necessary ways, then they aren't your person. Relationship or friendship wise. The compromising part is an important quality to look out for, other wise you could get stuck with a selfish ignorant person who only cares about their own needs/well being and expects you to change yourself to make them comfortable. Some people don't change. So imo, it's smart to check if your core values align with someone else's before you allow them into your sacred space.

From experience dealing with toxic people changed me so much, it made me bitter, nasty, insecure, weaker, even affected my health.

So when you understand that some people would rather see you embarrassing yourself, angry, sad, losing in life, basically in any way you validate their ego, than you know who not to associate with.

It's like a shark and bunny, they have nothing in common. They can never help each other bc they aren't of the same species, don't think, live, breathe the same. One would die in the water, while the other would die on dry land.

There is no reason for them to even be in the same room. Nothing would come from that relationship. The same applies in our relationships, some people will waste all your time, energy, life, if you let them. So recognize when people are no good for you or your future and keep them at a distance. Don't let them affect you mentally, emotionally or occupy any space in your mind. Esp for us anxious, sensitive, overthinkers.

✨️Nine of Pentacles✨️

[thingsiwanttheworldtoknow]

Don’t be that person who gives so much you have nothing left for yourself.

[welcometodelphi]

my mother has this habit of walking in to the room looking at what I'm watching on the t.v. and then either giving me a long winded speech about her opinion on the topic or telling me some completely unrelated. If I were to do this  to her she'd tell me to wait because she doesn't want to hear me she wants to hear the t.v. And if I were to tell her that she'd start a fight.