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Oh, how words elude me.

The harsh muse of pain has fleeted.

No more does agony inspire me.

So, what to do now?

Joyous days ahead, a stark difference.

To bask in the loving glow, and know

That for once all falls silent in bliss.

Would you Still Love me?

Would you still love me, if you saw me lazy? If you saw me dirty?

Would you still love me when my seasons change, and my hair turns grey?

Would you still love me if I were skinny, or fat?

Would you still love me when I'm loud?

Would you still love me quiet?

Would you still love me if I messed up, or got your order wrong?

Would you still love me if I made a mess? For I am, but a klutz.

Would you still love my wrinkles, or double-chin? My belly fat that hangs, and my fingers that are stubby?

Would you love me always?

Would you love me smart?

Would you love me dumb?

Would you love me angry?

Would you love me sad?

Would you love me when I am full of life, and still love me when I feel nothing inside?

Would you still love me, if I crossed a line? Or if, I drew that line?

Would you still love me, just being me?

If 'no', then...

It wasn't love.

That soft look in your eyes,

So gentle and adoring it almost hurts.

How is it, of all my time, you're the first?

To reflect me?

So tender in your touch,

With emotions so strong you're afraid it's too much.

You were holding back.

Love spilling out the seams as we dance,

Slow, initially, trying to maintain control.

As a sudden dip makes us laugh and grin with joy.

It's coming out, bit by bit.

Such intensity of feelings, is it truly reality?

Breathe.

This love isn't too much ~ ♡

But why shouldn't I stay?

In the place of decay.

Along with it, I'll fall away.

I shall at long last, fade.

When I was raised to only obey.

The walls are a blackened shade.

Inside I will never be the same anyway.

I am forgotten here where I lay.

I did as I was told, wouldn't you say?

It's all echos, like smoke of grey.

I hope my seat in hell is made.

I'm on my way.

How dare you make me want to love myself. How dare you hold a mirror to my soul and show me who I am. How dare you see me so clearly and nakedly, and accept my every being? 🖤

Forgive me, for existing.

It's still new to me.

I'm talking to myself here. I want to forgive myself, for living. For being born in a world I didn't ask for. For still drawing breath when I begged god to let me die before I was even yay high.

I beg myself, please forgive me. For finally now, after a quarter century, do I see the value in living.

Am I asking for forgiveness for still living, or for only now living...? The answer, is yes. I forgive you for both.