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The Fated Masterlist

a fully updated list of the entirety of this thirsty bishs work

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#valvent #masterlist

Things my co-workers have said/done, a thrilling saga

For context I work at a Subway and these were all said by one ballsy God of a man

-them saying "Get that weak shit outta here" and changing my Five Finger Deathpunch playlist to NyanCat 10hr version

-"We're closed" to 30 customers, 5 of them actually walking out and believing them

-"Val leave me tf alone, I'm trying to program the register to play fornite songs when it depsenses the change"

-"I want to die" followed by furious dabbing

-"Oh this bitch wants extra onion? HAVE FUN SMELLIN LIKE YOU ATE SHREKS ASS"

-"Sorry sir, I could care less about your feelings"

-"VAL WE NEED TOMATOES CUT PRONTO OR THIS LADYS GONNA DIE"

-"If I rob the store and give you $300, would you turn me in"

-"Let's be honest here, Val. I'm going to be working here even after my nursing degree, I better have fun with this"

-casually hosts a seance using deli paper with a pencil written ouji board drawn on it

-"The sandwich gods say NEIGH VAL" Proceeds to yeet my phone into the office

-"Could you find the Aux cord for me, I got in trouble for blaring blood on the dancefloor so they keep hiding it from me"

- awkward fortnite dances

-"LISTEN TO ME VAL, listen. All I'm saying is Pornhub is paying people up to $35k a year for their videos. So if you see me on there mind ya damn business"

-"Did you just eat onions raw.... You fucking heathen"

-Val there's no reason so stab people... Oh he was wearing a ski mask? Then why didn't you fuck him up"

-genuinely confused faces at customers weird ass requests

-"AND I SAID OK BRENDA GO TAKE JOHN TO THE SOCCER GAME NOW"

-"Val you need to remember to put up the wet floor signs or I might just try to get workers comp"

-"YOU WANT WHAT ON THE SIDE??? Oh sure thing ma'am"

-"VAAAAAAL. VAAAAAAAAALL. VAAAAAAALLL- oh hi"

-"DONT FUCKING sneak up on me you little ninja midget you"

-"You know if you slouch a bit more you might qualify for disability for being a midget, get that cash you deserve for God not giving you legs like mine"

-"OH GOOD VAL'S HERE YALL ARE FUCKED" aggressively points at onions

-"VAL HIT THE WHIP" * unholy screeching when I comply *

-"I wish I was alive during the Holocaust, I've always wanted to die in a gas chamber"

-"VAL can I use your coat, it's colder than a taun tauns asshole in a snowstorm on Hoth"

-handing me a cash drop while whispering "If you take it, I didn't see shit"

AAAAAAAAAA

Sorry for the pause but my hands are full with a puppy and migraines so bad I had to call off the last couple days of work 😅

#valvent #we'll be back to our regularly scheduled program in a bit

Kaminari/ Kirishima

Absolutely Denki, 110%

I feel like Kiri would just be like "Haha isn't this funny?"

...

"Unless"

#valvent #ask val #ngl i want shaq stickers too #90% effective?! take my money 💳💳💳

This radiates pure Bakugou energy and I'm trying so hard not to write another crackhead HCs but like it's hard when there's literal gold like this

#valvent #bakugou katsuki x reader #katsuki bakugou #bnha bakugou #bnha #bnha imagines #bnha x reader #mha bakugou #mha #mha imagines #mha x reader

Important News update: Val would die for BakuBabe and his gremlin laughter

#valvent #THERE HE IS #THERES MY HUSBAND #His cackle warms my heart and i-#*violent uwu*#bakugou katsuki #bnha #bnha bakugou #bnha spoilers #mha bakugou #mha spoilers #HIS LAUGH

Flower Bois I love it

Bakugou

So I was debating between two flowers but I think the official flower for Katsuki would have to be the Fire King Crocosmia

They come in vibrant reds and oranges and they look like explosions! And honestly they're just beautiful and I need him to wear a flower crown with these

The runner up I was debating with were Ditch Lilies! They grow like weeds where I live and are a warm reminder of the Splodey gremlin. Have a pic I took last summer

Todoroki

Obviously something that would resemble his chimerism so I'd have to say a hybrid rose

Hybrid roses come in an entire spectrum of colors so finding a specific color combination is definitely one in a million, just like Shoto himself

Kirishima

Kiri was definitely a difficult one for me to find a good match to but I feel like a Red Dahliawould fit him!

Dahlia's come in a rainbow of colors and seemingly endless sizes and shapes, but they all have a bright vibrancy in common. Not to mention they can be huge! And manly in a suit pocket

Shinsou

Hands down I have to go with a purple Snapdragon

Snapdragons come in a range of colors but the purple just seems to mirror Hitoshi in a way I can't quite describe. I think its the way they look so gentle(?)

But also when they finish flowering their seeds look like skulls, so I feel like it'd definitely make our Black Parade emo happy

#valvent #ask val #i just wanna give all of the bois a flower crown ok #bakugou katsuki x reader #shinsou x reader #kirishima x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha imagines #bnha #bnha x reader #mha #mha imagines #mha x reader #mha headcanons #bnha headcannons

Somebody: "BaKUGoU iS aLwAyS mAd bC hE'S jUsT a bULlY aNd-"

But have y'all considered:

Credit to: @ mitch.wallis on tik tok

#valvent #*sips tea*#ill wait #katsuki bakugou #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou headcanons #i will die on this hill with or without y'all #tw: depression #tw: mental health #and before people tell me that he told Midoriya to kill himself i know #could've been projection 👀

#valvent

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