How to start considering ED-recovery
this is not a usual "how to start", this is about a consideration phase and a very valid one at that. I went through it, too, for a long time. Here you go∼
⋮ Watch youtube videos about how to start recovery (for knowledge, knowledge gives comfort) and also documentaries about people who are deep inside their ED. You will probably see how miserable they are and feel :(
⋮ List out all of the things you hate about your eating disorder. What does it take from your life?
⋮ Write out what exactly your eating disorder provides you and why you think you can't live without it. Don't be scared to write 10+ things, it's your own list and story! Some of my examples were the control I felt in this chaotic world or feeling special and envied for my body.
⋮ List out the things recovery can give you. If you want to know mine, here is the link to my post: 📝
⋮ Learn to see your body not from your own perspective but from somebody else's, maybe someone you love or just objectively.
⋮ If you want to become / stay underweight, it might help to consider the risks and dangers (yes, I have a long list for this, too, and I recommend reading it: 📝)
⋮ Know that it's never too late and also, it's not impossible to be free forever. Just because some people say you can "never truly be recovered" doesn't mean it's true for you. Nobody can take your life or fate away from you.
⋮ Look around for doctor's offices and specialized clinics in your area, what do they offer, how can they help you once you decided to change?
⋮ Consider how you would approach it. Are you somebody who thinks more black-and-white about their ED or somebody who has to make slow, gradual changes? For me, I'm either black or white, meaning I engage in my ED 100% or I completely resent it. Until I decided to not listen to my ed-voice, I was deep inside it, behaving and listening to it's commands, just considering and considering, but when I finally made the decision to recover, that was the start of my official recovery and I never changed my mind about it. However. I think it's more common to change your behaviours and mind slowly and you should give yourself time and not do impulsive things as this can backfire and catapult you back into your old habits.
⋮ Know that maybe there will never be a "right" time to recover and you shouldn't wait for the "right" feeling
⋮ consider that if you haven't got your ED for a long time, chances of real recovery are higher, so there is no time to lose
⋮ don't forget to think about the root causes of your eating disorder. You don't have to tackle them yet but it can help to know that the ED is "just" a symptom of deeper lying issues (at least in 99% of cases)
⋮ difficult but helpful exercise: how would your life be if you didn't have your ED?
You have to know that recovery is very hard work. I think it's worth it. Furthermore, you have to accept that you might never find one thing that can completely replace it.
Don't let yourself get pressured, this is your life and your decision. Give yourself time and think this through. I can understand if you reject recovery, I also did for a long time. For most of us it's a coping mechanism to stay alive, after all. I hope you stay healthy as much as possible.
