#void rambling

[eyes-0f-the-v0id]

My friend said that Jax could literally write “I AM A WOMAN” in her own blood and people would still be calling transfem jax a headcannon

And yeah, he’s not wrong

[yourloca1eldritch]

[yourloca1eldritch-take2]

Justice for my boy Toge, he was not born to clan of jujutsu society outlaws who began practicing eugenics to prevent any children from being born with his exact technique, viewed as a threat by sorcerers and constantly having a target on his and his entire family's backs, repeatedly save one of the strongest sorcerers alive, and lose his arm saving people from his teacher's possessed fucked up ex highschool situationship to not get a single arc

[cardiaccanesblog]

A Letter to Hockey

My love of hockey is one of the most surprising and unsurprising things about me. This love was not an affair that made sense, but one that came so naturally. Growing up in southwest Louisiana, conformity is key. You go to the same churches, you go to the same schools, and you all like the same sports.

Football in my hometown is a religion in itself. During football season, you go to your church and ask the pastor about the LSU game last night. You then follow it up asking if he can put in a word with God that the Saints win this afternoon. You pray at church, asking God’s forgiveness, and then you pray at your house, asking God for the kicker to make this extra point to tie the game.

My family followed the same routine. Weekends were filled with College Gameday every Saturday, church in the morning in our Sunday best, and finally my whole family putting on the black and gold to cheer on our Saints.

I followed the routine along with them, I cheered at the appropriate times when there was a touchdown, but the game rarely held interest for me. After the Saints’ Super Bowl win in 2009, I became a more engaged fan. I watched the TV intently, I learned the referee’s hand signals, and I wanted so badly to understand all of the jargon that I heard around me.

Starting college I turned away from professional sports and began focusing on my college team. I dragged friends to games in the hottest, muggiest weather you can imagine, and I cheered. In grad school, I stopped.

Grad school was some of the hardest years of my life. I had very little joy, very little energy to do anything besides class, clinic, study, and repeat.

But then I was brought to my first hockey game.

Hockey in Louisiana is a surprising concept, but it intrigued me. I went to my first North American Hockey League game and everything changed. The pace, the aggression, the energy all changed everything for me. I didn’t understand what was going on, but I loved it. I dragged my partner to another game a few weeks later and was relieved to see that the magic hadn’t left.

I forgot about hockey after that. Too wrapped up in finding a residency, passing comps, and generally being overwhelmed by life. In April 2023, I learned I was moving to North Carolina. Honestly, I couldn’t have told you if North Carolina had a hockey team much less what they were called. However, after moving we learned that we were 2 hours from Raleigh, North Carolina, home of the Carolina Hurricanes.

My move took place during the offseason and I had no prior knowledge of the team, the sport, or even the 2023 Stanley Cup champions.

I, somewhat naively, believed that the NHL was one of the more progressive leagues for professional sports. It’s ironic that I began to love a sport at the same time the sport was turning its back on me.

I’m obsessive by nature. My Harry Potter, One Direction, Sherlock, and Supernatural fandom during my childhood would tell anyone that. I’m also a sports fan by nature. I grew up with football, baseball, and golf statistics being thrown around me. I listened to the play-by-plays and no matter what time a year, there was always a game on. So, of course when I find a sport that I learned to love on my own, I’m going to go all in.

I learned the team and the players. I learned the lines, the numbers, the positions, and the penalties. I watched videos to learn backchecking and forechecking. I learned offsides and icing and goaltender interference.

I jumped online and joined discussions. I voiced my opinions and tried to take the criticisms with grace. I learned the Hurricanes. I began to understand their system and its strengths. I was never made to feel like I didn’t belong by the people I interacted with.

I ignored the tweets that weren’t about me, but about people like me. I muted accounts that used slurs and wanted to pretend that these people didn’t exist. I wished for any sort of acknowledgement from the team I loved.

It’s 6/28/2024 and we haven’t been given that. I don’t expect that we will. The league and the teams won’t change until the people inside them change.

Though I don’t agree with a lot of the people in top positions and I’m sure they wouldn’t agree with me, I hope they never experience the heartbreak of loving something so much, but that same thing being the source of their pain, the source of their tears, and it being the very thing screaming at them that they don’t belong and they never will.

With much love,

A queer hockey fan

[bloodsh3d-hare]

[almostdefinitelydying]

I still feel so betrayed.. and it won't let go.

Obviously it will eventually.. and it's only been like a week anyway, but still.. it gnaws on the back of my brain.

5 years we were together. For 5 years everything was pretty dang chill and nice. My latest visit was -this summer- and still everything seemed normal.

Then a week ago I get the least personal breakup text I have ever seen in my life.. (basically "to whom it may concern, this is a breakup"). And my immediate reaction, as it usually is, is to just roll with it bc you can't force people to do anything anyway.

But the expectations that I have to now just sit around and be quiet and "give her room to grieve uwu" is fucking me up. Especially since she's using the time waxing poetically over how terrible everything apparently has been, how I've never been supportive, or ever done anything good for her, and that I've abandoned her when she was at her most vulnerable (bitch, what the actual fuck!?) on her FB (which I blocked right out of the gate, but I've been getting reports from shared friends who've read her statuses and been like "uhm.... This does not at all sound like the Amos I know", so I went back in and checked for myself ).

I legitimately thought I had found a piece of my forever family with her, and then she just spins around and chops me off at the wrist and leaves me with one less friend, one less gf, one less actual family, and implies in her posts it's all my fault anyway for being such a horrible unsupportive shit (???????) and that the next time she's trying for a relationship she's gonna find someone who -ISN'T- shitty like that, and won't abandon her in the middle of a shit storm (APPARENTLY).

But hey, I can't -really- know if it's about me either, since both me and her other date mate got the exact same, and just as impersonal , dear John letter in the history of teenage dramas. And idk what's more offensive really.. the fact that she couldn't be assed to specify, even after 5 years, or just.. didn't even consider it to be important enough to distinguish.

Idk.. it just bugs the everliving fuck out of me, and what I most want in the world is to just yell at her that she's not the only goddamn person in the world who has feelings or who's exhausted atm. But that would be cruel or whatever, so here I am instead.. grumbling into the void.. while she gets to whine about how everything is so super terrible for her and only her, and I have to just sit here and say nothing and not defend myself against any of it.

-reminds self to relax jaw as to not crack teeth-

Fuck me for having boundaries around people, right? (That honestly is the only thing I can trace this whole debacle back to, the fact that I put my foot down for the first time in 5 years and upheld a boundary I haven't had to enforce previously).

But if the reaction to keeping boundaries is this.. well, then fuck it. Keep your soggy, dog-poop burning bridge to yourself. You'll won't get me to cross it again, that's for sure..

[megan-is-aa]

I have some things to speak into the void and none of them are interesting

I'm not tired because I napped forever today because I woke up early and whatever my sleep schedule is not good

I just spent the last like 3 hours or so reading creepy stories and it was great because it was the fun amount of scared and I was laying between my husband and my cat so I was definitely safe

I haven't made an appointment to file taxes yet and I'm starting to get anxious about it

I'm so hungry rn and I ate badly today so I feel gross

Bojack Horseman is a terrible fucking show but I feel compelled to watch it. Every time we put it on we're upset about it but we gotta? We finished it today though and it was actually a kind of nice end so there's that I guess

I've been reading about my brothers REI business recently and it seems too easy. I'm nervous to start because I feel like I'm missing something crucial but my motivational podcast is telling me that I need to get over that and just do it

Its not really a motivational podcast its like... Idk... Here's some tools to get your life together with some motivational stuff sprinkled in

I need to listen to that again probably

And also exercise. And keep reading.

I'm so hungry but I should go to sleep.

But I feel like I need to get stuff out of my head? I've been pretty angry lately and its really bumming me out.

My cellphone told me to update it over a month ago and I still haven't. I'm so used to the icon I don't notice it anymore

I want so much

But I just

gotta

chill

the fuck out

I need that thing from that movie that erases memories. I need everything erased from like birth to the week before my wedding. I want all the bad shit gone. I never want to think about them again.

Its kind of raining but like not a nice rain. It mostly just sounds like water is dripping on the roof

I also need to read the script for my next show. And start working in it. I want to give it a lot of my focus but I've been really distracted lately

Which is just an excuse

I keep forgetting to switch out the cable for my phone charger so my phones probably gonna die

I'm so hungry

[eyes-0f-the-v0id]

HAPPY “ It’s almost Halloween, i haven’t done shit this year. It’s been a summer since February…” OCTOBER!!!!!