A list of ideas where Jaskier is born or turned immortal or given an extended life span. Cause let's be real, I just want to have him live long enough to hang out with the gang.
It should also be noted, that in all these options, Jaskier is completely oblivious. And generally I prefer him to have no magic/chaos/fighting skill - he's a lover, not a fighter)
Born an elf, but possibly disfigured after birth (removing of pointy ears, or simply born without them - likely father is human if he is a count - with mother ranging in percentage of elf).
Ate something he wasn't supposed to.
Drank something he wasn't supposed to.
Cursed by ex lover/fan (who wanted him to live longer)
Regis as Sailor Mercury (he’s the smartest, most logical one in the group)
Eskel as Sailor Mars (the magically inclined one who can’t seem to motivate our protagonist no matter how hard he tries)
Yennefer as Sailor Jupiter (let’s fight! magical powerful fuck you vibes!)
Triss as Sailor Venus (she’s got the Yearning factor)
Ciri as Chibi Moon (duh)
Jaskier as the one and only Tuxedo Mask (big dumbass energy)
Jaskier: My job here is done!
Geralt, frustrated: BUT YOU DIDN’T EVEN DO ANYTHING!
Jaskier: (cape flourish)
Geralt flying out of the inn with toast sticking out of his mouth while screaming about how Jaskier is making them late
“Holy cow you dumb motherfuckers” - Roach commentary a la Luna/Artemis
“In the name of the Wolf School, I’ll punish you!”
m a g i c a l g i r l transformation sequence, complete with cool new hairstyles for everyone!
MEMORY LOSS TROPE ANYONE? LIKE LITERALLY EVERY SEASON!?
Ciri’s character is introduced when she drops out of the sky with a fucking glock and goes straight for Geralt while he’s on a romantic date with Jaskier (that’s canon Sailor Moon shit btw)
All. The. Buttercups. Jaskier. Throws. As. Tuxedo. Mask.
Monster of the Week trope still applies
But now they’re also from space
Geralt is the Moon Prince so romantic??? big sky castle with a Mom who loves him?? EMOTIONAL FULFILLMENT FOR THE BOY!?
Jaskier very romantically kissing Geralt on a balcony while surrounded by flowers on the goddamn MOON
Shorthand for this AU is that time Geralt, Ciri, and Jaskier were travelling and wound up adopting 2 additional kids.
The trio arrive at a town, dark dansky, vaguely smelly and somehow wind up staying at a monastery. Why is there a monastery? We don’t know. Why is the monastery teaching their impressionable youth how to fence? (Because that’s what Benedict monks did, baby~)
Anyway, Ciri goes awandering and meets one of the youth, a young person going by the name of Cody. It’s a little hard to tell Cody’s gender because of the clothing, so Cody is a they, to keep it simple. Ciri and Cody hit it off, and return later that evening covered in mud and gunk. They are having dinner with Geralt and Jaskier when Fringilla shows up, looking majestic and stressed out.
They have a conversation, words are exchanged, dunno what they were. The group (+ Cody) leave the town and wind up in an abandoned cottage after a day of travelling. Geralt stumbles across traces of something, caninesque, and the group is properly alarmed. They discuss tracking down this monster as it is rather close to the town they had just left. They return to the town, but it feels different for starters there’s some sort of military presence. Said military seems to be searching for something or someone.
Jaskier tugs off his cloak, and uses it to cover Geralt’s blatantly Witcher outfit. Luckily, neither Ciri nor Cody look like their Witchers… though Ciri does stand out on her own. Fringilla and Jaskier hustle them out of town (Cody is very disappointed because they were semi-promised a horse, everyone else has one).
They retreat to the shack, things are tense. Both Geralt and Fringilla sense that they were followed. Discussion occurs - the evening grows darker - suddenly! A third child appears! No, I don't know where. But the 3rd kid is terrified and doesn’t smell normal. In the distance flames can be seen and the distant hunting call of racists.
Ciri and Cody wind up on a horse and gallop off. New kid and Jask wind up on Jask’s horse and also ride off.
And that’s when the alarm went off, lol. No idea where it was going but Geralt & Jaskier travelling around adopting children sounds fun.
i have some inkling of a modern au, sort of a scenario that would be good as a movie actually, where geralt and yen ‘die’ (the exposition shows them as disappearing and being presumed dead with a casketless funeral and all, but they come back later in the film, dw) and thus dandelion gets custody of ciri who’s like 14 years old at this point
it sounds like a silly idea at first and there are definitely comedic moments TM but dandelion dropping everything to become a responsible guardian for his presumed dead best friend’s daughter and worrying his ass off about her safety and all ... he doesn’t know how to be a parent at all and is totally unprepared but he totally steps up to make sure she’s ok and immediately gives up all of the crazy shit in his life like going out at night and bringing home random women...
featuring scenes like:
“you okay? what’s wrong?”
“... i miss geralt.”
[he pauses, thinking.] “... yeah. me too...”
“but i’m glad you’re here.” [she hugs him.]
[he tears up for a second before smiling and ruffling her hair]
dandelion almost sets the kitchen on fire trying to cook pasta . ciri asks him what he’s doing and he says in a panicked tone, “nothing, go back to playing on your phone or whatever!” he manages to put everything out and then researches how 2 cook videos and makes like 3 runs to the grocery store just so ciri can have a nutritious dinner
dandelion gets home at like 1 am with some woman from the bar and they’re talking, laughing. he tries to shush her a bit because he doesn’t want to wake ciri. ciri comes down the stairs to get a glass of water and she’s like “hey dandelion. who’s this” and the woman he met gets mad and accuses him of already having a family and lying to her... he tries to explain but is left facing the front door slammed as she walks out. ciri is embarrassed and feels guilty and starts apologizing...
dandelion is like “pfft, don’t worry about it. she wasn’t even that cool anyways.”
ciri is like “hm, seemed pretty cool to me...”
dandelion says, “you’re more important than any random woman!”
“because i’m geralt’s kid?”
“nah. because you’re you. now go get water and go back to bed”
ciri finds dandelion sleeping at the kitchen table, passed out over a bunch of papers and pamphlets about how to support a child grieving over their lost parents... and how to deal with the loss of close loved ones
dandelion quotes random books and poems to ciri’s problems and she sighs in a very typical teenage manner and complains, “ugh, what does that even mean?”
