#wizard crimes

[threefeline]

He's innocent your honor

Mostly

[spockandballtorture]

"If you want something done, do it yourself."

The mage shuffled his brass plates, setting one aside and returning the rest to their jade container. Holding the plate up to his face, he studies the inscription, a maze of symbols and cryptographic formula, then shuts his eyes to focus. Reaching out with his spirit, he pushes arcane energy into the plate. The inscription glows a soft orange for a moment, then fades, taking the writing with it.

The brick and mortar wall standing between the mage and a set of fist sized gemstones shudders, cracks, then finally gives and pours onto the ground, a slurry of mud. Stepping carefully to avoid staining his crimson robes, the mage collects his prize before reaching out to check the pulse of the leather-clad orc on the floor, then collecting the orc's prized obsidian dagger from the neck of the vault's former guard.

"It's almost midday,"the mage mumbles as he pulls the orc over his shoulder, stooping with the weight, "Our new friend should be finishing her sermon by now. Although, its like I always say," He reaches for his iron scroll case, picturing the inscriptions in deep crimson upon it's profane vellum,"If you want something done..."

[hermitdreams]

survived 8 hours. cause of death: created too much water.

[wizardmutable]

for reasons entirely unrelated to recent events, is there anyone who doesn't particularly mind harboring a wizard criminal? asking for a friend

[officialgrigori]

Giving Away Cursed RIngs

I periodically make a bunch of cursed rings for enchanting practice, and I've just been letting them build up, but I'm having a clearout, so

Free cursed rings. One per customer, unless it's funny, Inquire below.

[hermitdreams]

i've been a busy boy

[finarael]

Thoughts on catching criminals in the Potterverse

1. Write a letter to the criminal.

2. Send letter to criminal via owl. (Owls always know how to get to letter recipients no matter what.)

3. Track the owl, either magically or just follow on a broomstick.

4. Arrest criminal.

[unseenphil]

There’s an old saying

...To not call up what you cannot put down. This is, generally, wise advice follow, and there would be far more successful diabolists and necromancers in the world if more of them listened to it. 

(Perhaps it’s a good thing that they don’t, frankly.)

The problem is two-fold. A budding young wizard, with a freshly pressed black and crimson wardrobe to demonstrate their new-found and entirely self-conscious capacity for evil deeds feels ready to take on the world with their army of skeletons (Usually about 10-20 of them from the local graveyard.)  or sure they can bargain with a higher devil and come off the better in the deal.

Overconfidence and unfortunate fashion choices are the ruin of many a dark wizard.

The other half of the equation, of course, is  sabotage. Very few warlocks stop to consider just who wrote the book of evil spells they’ve come across, or just what sort of complete bastard would record a book of darkest magic.  The answer is “The sort of bastard who would fill the book they wrote with traps for the unwary reader.”

The usual claim is that these traps are filters to guarantee that the one who inherits their fell power is worthy. This is vaguely true, but  the reality is more complex: 

The book might have been meant as a mnemonic for the original user, so not all the details are written down. This is a trap by omission.

The book might have been captured by someone of more heroic bent, who failed to destroy it but managed to edit the contents.This is most often accidental.

Evil Wizards are in fact, generally complete assholes, and trusting what they wrote is a bad time all around. In the worst case, the whole thing is just a means to resurrect a more powerful evil wizard in a freshly acquired body- yours.

Finally, it could just be complete fabrication. Dark wizards aren’t above adding ‘con artist’ to their resume. As a rule of thumb, the more secrets and true power a tome of dark magic offers to reveal, the more likely it is that it contains nothing of the kind. Do not trust wizards offering you their grimoires in back alleys.