My first fic, so bear with - would appreciate any and all advice
This could not be happening, Sirius stared at the bathroom mirror, trying desperately to keep it together. He couldn't -he wouldn't, fall for him.
It could ruin everything, ruin the years of deception, years of pretending to be the perfect heir, slowly taking his family down from the inside. More importantly, it could ruin the one chance he and his brother had at getting out of this, of finally being free. He wouldn't fail his brother, his star, his baby, no he could not. Sirius couldn't watch the world darken and crumble around them, not when the light had just begun to creep in. Not when he was so incredibly close to winning the gambit. So close Sirius could taste it.
He could give Regulus the life he deserved, the freedom to be who he was, without hiding the truth from his parents. Without living in fear that everyday could be the last. The ministry had made him a promise, he had struck a deal, prove his parents misdeeds, and he and Regulus would be safe, given money, freedom and safety in return for information, for proof.
Only six more months he told himself, he could wait for six more months. Fuck. He could wait a year -much more than that even- if it meant safety, freedom, choice.
But then his mind drifted, the thoughts Sirius tried so hard to repress, peeked through, Remus. With his too-big jerseys and crooked smiles, with his unbrushed bed head. Oh how Sirius wanted to run his fingers throu-
No. He must not. Sirius must not think about it, not dream of what could be. Hell, it wasn't even as if Remus liked him. They were just friends. Really really good friends. Just like him and James, except in the way he saw James as a brother, and Remus...? Well he hadn't inherited the Black madness, thank the gods.
Sirius sighed, resting his hands on the bathroom sink. Falling for Remus could ruin it all. And yet...
Why did he find himself wanting to risk it all?'
First fic **cringes** oh gods its bad!!!
