I can't talk to my mom especially in the cases where people want to just call up their moms and rant about life. That's not because she isn't alive, it's because that isn't how our relationship works. I don't do the venting, she does. That's how it's been since I was little. I want to tell her "I'm exhausted, being a mom is exhausting how did you manage it?" But she didn't. I managed it for her. She leaned on me. Now as a full grown adult I still don't know how to stop and let myself breathe because I was taught at a young age that I must always keep going for everyone else. I just want to rest, to recharge but I can't. I don't know how, she never taught me.