Proof that all Border agents are either stupidly insane, insanely stupid or both - part 4 [ masterlist ]
Tachikawa Squad & Osamu, ft. Jin
inspired by @pheenick's post
Osamu: Hello Izumi-senpai, Yuiga-senpai. Kinuchika-san. thank you for having me here.
Izumi: No worries, come in, come in. *spots the plastic bag Osamu's holding* Huh, what's you having here?
Osamu, setting the container on the table: My mom made too much food again. She said to share it with whoever I'm with today. I already gave some to others at Tamakoma.
Izumi, eyes beaming at the sight of food, immediately lifting the lid: Wow, they look delicious! Are these croquettes?
Kinuchika, setting down the teas: Don't hog all the foods for yourself, Izumi. Save some for us too.
Osamu, received one from her hand: Thank you for the tea, Kinuchika-san.
Kinuchika: You're welcome. *take a bite of the food* Wow! These are excellent! Tachikawa would cried if he knows what he missed today.
Izumi, snorted: Oh yeah. Too bad, he’s with Jin right now. *turn to Osamu’s direction* This is definitely one of the best croquettes i ever had. Four Eyes, remember to pass my compliments to your mother.
Osamu, visibly happy: Of course. Mom would be pleased to know.
Yuiga, taking a bite, chewing with genuine enthusiasm, fully intending this as the nicest thing he could say: Whoa, yeah, this is actually really impressive for a home-cooked dish! Like, I'm honestly impressed your mom could make something this close to high-end level. I didn't expected this.
Izumi, not even looking over, kicks him under the table
Yuiga, yelping, grabbing his shin: OW— What was that for?! I just said it was good!
Kunichika, sipping her tea, not elaborating: Mm.
Yuiga, looking between them, getting no answer: ...Seriously, what? I’m being nice!
Osamu, setting his cup down gently, his voice gentle, almost sweet: Actually, it's funny you mention the kaiseki. My mom used to cater some private omakase before she had me, you know.
Yuiga, leaning forward, genuinely curious now: Wait, really? Like, full omakase? That's actually kind of incredible, why'd she stop?
Osamu, voice still unusually soft: She wanted to focus on raising me. Said something about how a few of the chefs she trained with went on to open their own places. One of them apparently still calls her sometimes, asking for pointers. Even offered to pay her flight to Kyoto himself but she denied.
Kunichika, eyebrows climbing slowly over the rim of her cup: Oh really.
Izumi, going very still, the feeling of déjà vu hitting him like a wall: ...Wait.
Yuiga, still oblivious, fully invested now: Which place? Is it somewhere I'd know? Does he run it himself or—
Osamu, taking a slow sip of tea: I don't really know the details, sadly. She just mentioned that he said something about wanting to catch up to her level. I didn't really get what he meant by that.
Yuiga, still piecing it together very slowly: Wait, hold on. That means...
Osamu, watching Yuiga's face with quiet patience, not helping at all
Izumi, mouthing silently to Kunichika: does this weirdly remind you of Kyosuke?
Kunichika, mouthing back, not moving her eyes off the conversation in front of her: Yeah. Too much actually.
Yuiga, the color draining out of his face in real time as he realised: AHHHH IM SORRY FOR INSULTING YOUR MOM’S COOKING.
Izumi, pressing his lips together hard, voice slightly strained: Yeah. Yeah, that's... that's pretty rough, Yuiga.
Kunichika, nodding gravely, not looking up from her tea: Mm. Tough spot.
Yuiga, spiraling at full speed now: Do I need to send something? Flowers? A letter? Mikumo, does she accept apologies in person or should I write it—
Osamu, sipping his tea, eyes too amused: Honestly, I really wouldn't worry about it too much, Yuiga-senpai.
Yuiga, nearly vibrating, completely insistent: No, I have to. It's a matter of respect! If I accidentally insulted anybody, I can't just let that sit, I need to apologize properly, in person, with the right words—
Izumi, very carefully keeping a straight face, patting Yuiga's shoulder: Hey, if Four Eyes himself is saying it's not needed, it's probably not needed. He'd know better than either of us.
Kunichika, equally straight-faced, taking another bite: Strong advice.
Yuiga, pausing, visibly trying to make scene to the situation: But what if he's just being polite? What if he secretly wants the apology but doesn't want to ask for it?
Osamu, the smallest, faintest smile surfacing over the rim of his cup, saying nothing further
Izumi, glancing at Osamu over Yuiga's head, eyes saying everything his face won't
Kunichika, glancing back at Izumi, the corner of her mouth twitching dangerously
Yuiga, still spiraling, completely missing the silent exchange happening next to him: Mikumo, be honest with me. PLEASE—
Meanwhile, somewhere else,
Jin, standing the corner of his room: …Oh my god. Oh my god. Osamu. He’s learning that lying habits from Kyosuke. HE’S LEARNING IT, TACHIKAWA.
Tachikawa, not getting it: What's wrong with that? Shouldn’t you be happy now that you two have one more accomplice in tricking Konami?
Jin, clearly devastated: No, that's Yuma's things. Osamu, he— *taking a deep sigh* He’s managed to tricked me…
Tachikawa, surprised: HAHAHAHAHAHA. HE MANAGED TO DO THAT????? OMG SERVE YOU RIGHT! HAHAHAHAHAHA
Jin, face in hands: Stop laughing at me. I asked you here for emotional support, not for you to humiliate me further more…