I'm going to call this series "MJ is a Whumpee", what better way to get writing experience than to actually get the experience in real life.
Of course not everyone will get to experience everything so why not share it.
So "MJ is a Whumpee" will be updated as regularly as I can. Plus I will explain what a Whumpee might experience and what they may want or need from a Caretaker or even Whumper. Some may even contain a story.
-MJ 💚
Today's (Friday, Aug 16) experience... getting a tooth pulled.
I have had a broken tooth since March 2020. I was starting to see the dentist and getting my dental health back together when covid started. Because of that I canceled my dental cleaning, and right after that my tooth broke, and had been rotting away since then. My dentist wanted to continue fixing my other teeth before any of them could break away, then send me to the oral surgeon to have it pulled.
A few months ago, I went to him because I was in so much pain. He said he believed it was the broke one causing the pain. He gave me the order to get the tooth pulled, but I had to wait for about 50 days still because of the long schedule. I was given antibiotics and painkillers to last.
This is my experience.
For most of this week I was nervous, but I think the excitement of getting it out of my mouth overpowered my nerves.
Appointment morning Friday. I woke up nervous, and the nerves get stronger as the appointment time gets closer, 1pm.
Now, I am a Whumpee without a Caretaker, I have people that will help me when I need it, but most of this I am doing on my own.
I am shaking during my drive to the oral surgeon.
Go in and get checked in. Sit in the waiting room and try to relax knowing everything would be alright.
Warning: I will be going into detail about the extraction here. I have a cut off as I will be explaining the process, and I know that could gross or squick some out.
There will be a story under here as well.
I get sat down and talk with the dental surgeon, then sign some paperwork.
I received the shots to numb, and I waited for 10-15 min for the numbing to fully take affect.
The surgeon finally comes in and makes sure I am numb before they get started.
I am given a spacer to keep my mouth open, and gauze is put their as well.
As the dentist starts to work, a third person comes from above my head and says, "I am going to support your neck and head". I then feel hands around my throat and chin, not to choke, but they do have some pressure here.
Even while getting my tooth pulled I'm thinking about Whumpee and what would happen with someone holding their throat while two other people are pulling a tooth out. Like flashbacks, PTSD, crying, past trauma. You can really add some nightmare fuel here.
So I can feel pressure as they are shaking my head. Pulling the tooth, moving it back and forth.
The sounds.... Oof, I cringed. Just imagine the sound of a tooth getting pulled from your jawbone and skin. It sounds like shredding and wet.... ugh. Then it is right there by your ear, just 🤢
The oral surgeon tells me that I will hear the sound of the dental drill like at the dental office. It's almost louder though.
It's sensory overload, taste, sound, people in your mouth.
I know I moaned a few times. I couldn't feel anything, but I was imagining how painful it would have been.
She then went into stitching... now I can't feel anything going on, but I could only imagine what that felt like without numbing.
I had to bite down on gauze for around an hour during my drive home on my own. I needed to go to the pharmacy first to get medicine. I bought myself a gift for being so brave though.
Story time... though I do not have a caretaker, I will be giving Whumpee one in this story, because I love my Caretakers.
Caretaker made a small breakfast for Whumpee. They said they weren't really hungry, but Caretaker wanted them to have something in them for later.
Whumpee slowly picked away at the breakfast.
Caretaker watched as Whumpee's shakiness made it hard to function.
"It's okay to be nervous", Caretaker patted Whumpee's shoulder gently, "it's a new experience."
"I think my excitement is making me less nervous, but I'm so scared still", Whumpee admitted.
"I'm glad you're excited. You've come a long way. I'm glad your dentist said it was time to get this done now", Caretaker smiled as they cleared the table, "we will leave in about an hour, the paperwork is done. But they need to scan a few things before the appointment."
Whumpee nodded.
Later on, Caretaker was reviewing Whumpee's records to make sure they had everything in order. They were going to a new place to have the tooth removed.
"I can't believe you've had all of these visits already", Caretaker reminisced, "we are finally getting somewhere."
"Whumpee if you would, please brush your teeth", Caretaker called.
"Okay", Caretaker heard Whumpee get up from the couch and head to the bathroom.
Caretaker thought back to the timid patient they had taken in only two years prior.
Whumpee had come out of a long term hostage situation. They had a lot of medical needs, but their dental was a big issue.
Caretaker had to take them in every couple of months to have their teeth checked and cleaned. This broken tooth had been watched closely and it was causing major pain now. So the dentist said it was time.
Whumpee was finally taken back and sat down.
After consulting with the dentist and Whumpee getting a full run down on everything that would be done they decided to start numbing Whumpee's mouth.
The dentist left for a few minutes while the numbing took affect.
"You heard the part about an assistant holding your neck", Caretaker reminded Whumpee.
Whumpee nodded, "I don't really know how I'm going to feel about that, but I know it needs to be done."
Caretaker nodded, "I will be right here with you, and I will react as we have practiced in the past for when you have an episode."
Whumpee nodded again.
When everyone came into the room Caretaker went over what would happen if Whumpee had a flashback or anything of the sort. Then explained to them what steps they would need to take to keep Whumpee safe.
Once agreed upon, everyone got into place.
Whumpee moaned while the dentist harshly wiggled the tooth.
"I know you are feeling pressure, but is there any pain" the doctor stopped for a moment."
"Nu-uh", Whumpee mumbled.
Caretaker stayed down at Whumpee's feet and gently squeezed their toes. They had done this multiple times during Whumpee's appointments.
Whumpee said it helped them be able to focus and know they were not alone.
The tooth was finally out and everything was set. Whumpee just needed to rest for a few minutes before they could get up.
They smiled weakly when Caretaker came around.
"I am so proud of you", Caretaker gently ran their hand through Whumpee's hair and straightened a few snarls, "you did so good."
"Thankyou", Whumpee tried to talk with a giant piece of gauze in their mouth, "they said I can keep the tooth."
"Yes I heard them. I know you wanted to keep it", Caretaker smiled, "when you feel ready we can head to the pharmacy and go home."
"I think I feel alright", Whumpee started to sit up.
Caretaker laughed at Whumpee during their drive. Whumpee sat in the passenger seat poking their cheek.
"It's so numb", Whumpee poked at their cheek a few more times, "I don't know if I like it, it feels weird."
"Yes I don't much enjoy getting numbed myself", Caretaker agreed.
"So what else are we doing today?", Whumpee looked around.
"Well we are going to the pharmacy to get your medicine the dentist sent out, and you may pick out something for doing so well", Caretaker smiled as Whumpee's eyes lit up, "then we are going home so you can rest."
Whumpee nodded, "may I pick out a toy or maybe a coloring book?"
"Yes, you can pick out anything you like", Caretaker nodded.
"I wonder if I'm to old to be wanting toys though", Whumpee frowned.
"No one is ever too old to enjoy toys", Caretaker frowned, "adults can enjoy toys just as much as anyone else."
Whumpee now sat in the living room happily looking at the item they had chosen.
"How are you feeling?", Caretaker peaked in at them, "is the numbing waring off yet?"
"I think it is a little now", Whumpee felt their cheek.
"Okay, let's get that medicine in you, and I have a surprise for you as well", Caretaker smiled.
"A-a surprise?", Whumpee's eyes lit up.
"I'll be right back", Caretaker turned.
Caretaker came back with a huge grin and a container with Whumpee's meds.
"What is the surprise?", Whumpee eagerly took the medicine.
"Just a few minutes more, and I'll bring it out for you", Caretaker chuckled.
Whumpee set their item to the side and watched the doorway for Caretaker to come back in.
"Alright Whumpee", Caretaker came in carrying two plates, "I stayed up late making this for you, so I hope you enjoy."
"Is that your jello?", Whumpee's eyes sparkled, "you haven't made that in so long."
"Since your last major procedure.... I feel like it's a bit of a tradition now to have jello after you have something major done. This will also be easy for you to eat."
Whumpee looked excitedly at the plate they were holding. This jello was almost a comfort treat for them. It was the first treat Caretaker had made for them when they first came to live with them.
Whumpee had to have a several surgeries around their mouth and jaw so they were very limited. The jello became a sweet treat that Caretaker made them multiple times.
Caretaker sat down across from them.
"I, of course, have to have some as well", Caretaker smiled as they remembered eating the jello with Whumpee after the procedures. This way, Whumpee could enjoy it with someone else.
Whumpee quickly scooped some into their spoon, then jiggled it a little as they lifted it to their mouth.
They giggled happily at the familiar safe flavor.
"This brings back so many memories", Whumpee smiled as they scooped up more, "it taste so yummy."
"I'm glad you like it. There was a while when you ate this daily after meals... I'm surprised you didn't get sick of it", Caretaker laughed as Whumpee played with the treat.
"The one food that it is okay to play with", Whumpee giggled again.
"Yes, but I do need to put a small damper on things", Caretaker sighed, "I would like you to take a small nap after eating this. You used up a lot of energy with your nervousness and stress. Plus it will let your body have time to heal. Are we okay with that plan?"
Whumpee looked up and nodded, "I do feel a little tired."
"I can imagine", Caretaker smiled.
Caretaker sat across from Whumpee while they slept. They were organizing Whumpee's care chart.
"Such a brave soul, everything you went through. I'm so proud of you", Caretaker smiled as they set the book aside, "it's an honor taking care of you."
Notes from the last day.... movement of my mouth is limited, and I am very sore. 🥲
Yes, I absolutely kept my tooth that was pulled out. I also ate blue raspberry jello that night as well.-MJ 🦷
Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.
things I've learned after a year writing fanfiction
This is a post from a non-writer who, apparently, now writes (❓)
And this is a little crazy to me, considering that a year ago writing less than 1k decent words took a lot of effort.
But this year I have completed a +100k project.
(It's still difficult, though.)
I found out that the more I wrote, the easier it was to get into the story.
So I think that being captivated by my own story has made a lot.
I am an eager fanfiction reader, but I had yet to really try to write something on my own.
That was until I got hyper-fixated on three characters and wrote a small story about them sharing a room, and it was one of the funniest and most rewarding things I've done. So I was like "oh, maybe I can try to imagine stories I would like to read?"
(1) story one - a bird told me to wait
The first thing I considered was to make it completely self-indulging.
The second was to make it as evocative as possible, not only telling what was happening. I like sensations and emotions, so I really wanted to write things I would like to feel as a reader.
I wrote this story, and after that, I added a second longer part because I was enjoying it a lot. I used to doodle about the characters and make small annotations about their dynamics, but there wasn't really a lot of planning here.
(2) story two - beneath the moonlight
My second attempt was a three-chapter story (not so distant from the previous one that can be read as three parts too). But for this one, I wanted to challenge myself because I wanted to explore new themes and tropes, so I made a brief list of the things that should appear here.
(but honestly, I just wanted to write a soft mating bite scene lmao, because I was super into a/b/o at that time.)
I used keep notes app this time.
I barely showed explicit themes here but I got to enjoy the story anyway. This one wasn't difficult to write because I felt familiar with the characters. It's a light story but these 20k words gave me the courage to take a step further. I said to myself
"stop being a coward.
you have enjoyed this.
keep writing."
(3) story three - lucid dreams
This one was planned for four or five chapters, quite in the same line as beneath the moonlight. But, and the keyword is planned, it became a full 13 chapters as I developed the story and the characters. If I wanted it to be coherent then I needed to explain the things, build the context, and introduce the world.
But it was also an experimental work.
I took my notebook and listed the new things I wanted to try, such as
- write in past tense
- write first and edit later
my process was something like this
• imagine random scenarios with pretty imagery as I listened to music
• doodling the characters doing things so I didn't forget
• open the notes app to write random sentences and dialogues in the middle of the night, I'll find a place for them later
• dream about the story and daydream about the story
as for the physical notebook, I have scribbled A LOT there during the writing process.
(a little bit chaotic but functional enough)
One thing I wanted to keep in mind was the evolution of the characters, or in other words, how they were gonna be at the start and the end of the story. And this made things a lot simpler because it gave me an insight that was helpful whenever I had to decide what kind of decisions the characters would make along the story.
Parallelly, I was aware of my narrative flaws, as well as there was a lot of vocabulary and grammar that would escape me in a different language. So I used the notebook to do writing research. Some of my pages were like "how to write action scenes," or "tips for flat scenes." Whenever I felt blocked I read again these pages.
I'm going to copy down here some tips that were useful during the writing block days.
• read another book or fic you like, since sometimes, getting yourself caught by another writer's style can help you to flow through your own.
• scroll on pinterest and try to find pictures that capture the vibe of your story, maybe try to describe them or setting a scene in a similar environment that you can see?
• changing the setting (for example, day to night, or sun to rain) can add more variants and ambiental tools to play with.
• or, changing the character's pov. maybe a scene feels flat because it's narrated by the wrong character.
• use objects, not just the characters.
(4) finishing a story
To have an insight into the plot, I wrote the main scenes in really short sentences. That was useful for the first chapters, but suddenly I had 70K words of the story and a lot of details to track.
Frequently I had to split chapters into two parts because the "short sentence" became a very long scene. See this comparison: the scenes' guide in the last chapters usually are fragmented into shorter scenes. That's how I avoided losing my mind as I wrote (?)
These are a few tips that were useful to me during this last part.
• write the important plot points as they are mentioned so you can come back to them later and don't forget about them.
• keep a scrip to annotate significant things about the characters to make the story consistent.
• notion pages is a great place to make inspo boards (usually I added 4 pictures for each scene). During the last chapter, I used the to-do list tool to keep track of the closed story points and the things that were yet to happen
• list some of your favourite past scenes, those that have been nice to write, so you can pursue the same vibe again.
The last two months writing the fic I joined the nanowrimo to keep myself motivated but also to have an impulse. My only goal was getting the habit of writing everyday, not minding how many words (usually it was around 400-600 daily). I ended that month with 16k added on my wordcount (to me, that was a lot!). Since I enjoyed that little challenge, I did the same on the next month, resulting in finishing the fic :)
The most important thing during this time was remembering myself from time to time why I am doing this. Let me say I am an utter perfectionist, so I would easily get trapped in making-the-story-perfect, which would end in a writing block. So each time this happened I repeated to myself that I didn't want to write a good story. I just wanted to enjoy and have fun while writing a story, so I should write only things I enjoy. And this simple thing was incredibly helpful whenever I wasn't able to continue a scene.
I think that this is what most writers say, but now I have come to understand that it's true: just have fun. Write what you wanna read.
(5) the next story - requiem of the sleepless
This would be the third part of my first fic. I miss these unhinged boys and I have a little draft of (unholy) things I want to happen to them!
Now I want to unlearn everything I know.
I want this story to be zero planned, I just want to ~feel~ the characters and make a lot of random things happen. This is about not forgetting why I started, so here I am again.
I need to get my shit together and get out of my writer's block (I haven't had the time or the right mood to actually write something) (I will be mad about it until I publish something new)
Also thanks to the guest reqder that liked three of my fics I see you pal I love you
The Humbling Torture of Writing Your First Novel #writing Just under a year ago I finally began to undertake the task I had always promised myself I would, the personal assignment that I’d been driving myself to do since I was five-years-old: to write a novel. via The Humbling Torture of Writing Your First Novel — Fox Writer
