so, I saw a post that was about how to write genderfluid characters, and it was mostly just....“don’t be afraid to write genderfluid characters! it’s not that hard!” and uh, that was not what the title promised? so here are some tips from a genderfluid/flux person (both will be covered here, as they are very similar writing-wise).
so, first you should know the definitions of genderfluid and genderflux. genderfluid people go between being a boy or a girl generally, but genderflux people can identify as genderfluid. Genderflux people generally describe it as the intensity of their gender changing, and go from a binary gender to agender, using neopronouns or they/them.
there are a few things you’ll need to decide before writing.
1. how often does the gender change? it doesn’t have to have a strict pattern, but mine changes every few hours or so generally.
2. does it have a pattern? I tend to spend a few days shifting between a binary gender, demigender and agender.
3. if your character is genderflux, do they go between a binary gender and agender, or do they also have demigenders? Demigenders use they/them or neopronouns and binary pronouns, based on the speaker’s preference.
4. what terms do they use to describe their gender? do they identify as non-binary or genderqueer? do they identify as trans? do they even call themselves genderfluid, or use a broader term? Do they use a term at all? if they’re genderflux, do they identify as demigender or agender when they are these genders?
5. how do they introduce themselves? Do they state their pronouns and genderfluidity right away? just their pronouns? do they tell their pronouns each day but don’t say they’re genderfluid, and just let the person deal with it?
6. who are they out to? how long after meeting someone do they come out? Do they have bad relationships with someone because of it?
7. what’s their dysphoria like? do they wear a binder or stuff on days they’re the gender opposite their sex? do they have a similar clothing style with both genders? Will they wear a dress as a boy or a suit as a girl? if they get clothing dysphoria, do they take clothes of the opposite gender somewhere to change if their gender changes? I mostly have dysphoria when I’m in the closet, and think I look better in feminine-associated clothing as a boy than a girl.
8. Do they identify more with one gender than the other?
9. how did they know? Was it slow? Did they just find out? How long have they known, and how comfortable are they in their identity because of it?
10. How long does it take them to figure out their gender? Is it hard, or do they know right away? I tend to take an hour each day to figure out my gender, but I’m getting better at it. I ask my friends to address me as certain genders in the third person to figure it out at the beginning of the day if I can’t figure it out.
11. if they have any mental disorders, illnesses, etc. how does it affect their genderfluidity? my adhd can make it hard to focus on finding my gender and people with adhd are known for having a hard time describing their feelings.
12. how does it affect how they see people? Do they ask pronouns and refer to people as they before meeting them? Do they take care not to gender clothes?
13. Do they enjoy educating well-meaning people or are they tired of explaining it? I’m in the closet, so I love talking about my gender. It can also depend on how long they’ve known or how long of a day they’ve had, if they have the energy to do it.
if you have anything to add or any questions, let me know!
(this post is randomly italicised and bolded for people with adhd)
