#phoenix rising

[weaver-z]

There's a user called Erika Horn (@erikahorn.art) on tiktok who made a "duet me" challenge so technically impressive that all of the duets are exactly like this LMAO

[beccawise7]

Beautiful quotes... 💜🖤

[vertigoartgore]

Dark Phoenix – Original Mixed-Media Painting by Viktor Farro (12×18) Source

[trulynobodyofconsequence]

"I play with the fire of my own truth, I will burn for the things I love."

- Mia Hollow

[chaoticandlittledramatic]

𝕐𝕠𝕦 𝕔𝕒𝕟𝕟𝕠𝕥 𝕓𝕦𝕣𝕟 𝕒 𝕨𝕠𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕨𝕙𝕠 𝕙𝕒𝕤 𝕕𝕒𝕟𝕔𝕖𝕕 𝕚𝕟 𝕙𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕨𝕟 𝕗𝕝𝕒𝕞𝕖𝕤.

☽◯☾

[modelhorsecollectionandcongas]

Name: QVC - Phoenix Rising - 1,200 Made

Brand: Breyer

Mold: Silver

Scale: Traditional

Date: 2002

[beenjen]

I’m so weary. Bone deep. Long rambling stressed out post below.

I feel so alone and just sad. I hate it. This isn’t who I am or want to be. Who I want to show my kids. Present to the world. It’s so hard.

I’m going back to work tomorrow after being off for a week and I’m the opposite of rested and ready for this upcoming surgery. Nothing I planned to do was able to be completed. It was an absolute shit show of kids, trying to coordinate getting our house fixed and car troubles.

The kids -

J is just not doing what he’s supposed to in school. Last week was a culmination of an exercise in trying to get him to turn in his homework, talk about behavior, and I had a long talk with his amazing teacher who feels he is underperforming. We are making some changes and they are invested in him in ways I’ve not seen before from a school.

It feels like it’s my fault. That I sent him to that school in the first place, now he has to change friend groups, he has my surgery date on his calendar and is counting down the days. It feels like so much stress for my little dude. It’s for the best, just so much change and it’s so hard.

We have a plan in place. He is making incredible grades for someone who is dialing it in so to speak. I’ve talked with the school counselor, his teacher group, and it feels we have a path forward that is supportive and setting him up for success. It just took up so much mental load, it’s hard to describe if it’s not something you’ve experienced.

L, she’s not where she needs to be and it is so frustrating because I spent the last 2 years knowing something was off. Asking and asking and asking, with the educators I thought I could trust, telling me she was fine.

She’s not. She will be. I previously posted about the struggles there. The school we moved them too is all over it. They have programs sponsored by a major university here that is nationally renowned. She is making progress and we caught it as early as we could, considering.

I thought we were doing the right thing having them in private school. For their safety. It was a church school and low and behold, they do not even administer testing, nor are they required to under state law, to screen for these things. It feels that I’ve let them down. I should have listened to my inner voice. Instead, I had this loyalty, a false sense of community, and it’s sad, and painful, and it will pass, yeah? She has confidence. She is smart and has unwavering support.

This upcoming surgery. Man. I REALLY do not want to have to do this. It feels that I have no choice, though I know I’m making the right decision, I’m just so angry about it.

I broke down this weekend about it. Just, wanting my mom here with me. Angry that she isn’t. Angry that she isn’t because of what I am trying to fight against, by having this fucking surgery. C was so exasperated by my anguish. Like I was being absurd. Told me that I was being ridiculous in my stress and how I felt. It’s so much harder feeling alone in it.

My own dad, in-laws, brother, no one has asked how they can help. No one has offered to take care of my kids. If we need assistance getting them to school/home on the day of my surgery. Nothing.

I asked my aunt and uncle, who live an hour away. Of course they are all over it, it just hurts. It hurts because I’ve been there for everyone else, time and time again, and this whole experience is showing me how the people I’ve spent my life supporting, don’t even think of me. It’s a painful truth. It’s freeing though. I no longer feel obligated to them, to extend myself to support them, to rearrange my life and schedule to be there when they so obviously couldn’t care less.

We were up at my dad’s this weekend to help him close his pool and he spent his time talking about some 20 something he’s met on fb. Let’s be real, it’s catfishing and gross. He has everything written on his calendar, nothing about my surgery. I got there, he asked me to go cook. Didn’t even ask if I needed anything or if I was ready. I knew he was selfish, but damn. My own dad. Not even aware of my surgery date or that I’m so scared and need support.

Am I being selfish? Is it crazy of me to anticipate my family would rally around me? I think it was only ever my mom and she’s gone. I told C how it feels that my whole family is just gone, and it really does. I would still drop everything to be there for them, but they won’t even call me. I’m not telling anyone else or sharing anymore about it.

It’s life altering for me and is heartbreaking that all this is happening surrounding it. I just want to be on the other side and be well and build my strength back up so I can invest where I have received support.

My husband actually exploded on me today. Told me that I’m a shitty mom and don’t even realize it. Told me that I ignore him and never finish anything. I know he’s stressed too, and I know he didn’t mean it. He immediately apologized and backed off. Let’s be honest though, what’s said is said. It can’t be taken back. I spend so much energy holding back all the things I would say in anger, because I KNOW you can’t erase the hurt once it’s delivered. It only served to make me feel even more isolated.

I am not going to be able to drive for 2 weeks. Lift anything over 5 pounds. I can’t do yoga for 2 months. Everything that nourishes me, I will not have access too.

I’m scared of who I will be on the other side of this. Will the me that survives and comes out the other side of this crucible even be recognizable? Will I like her? Will I know her? Will she be loved? Will she be seen?

Is this the end of what I know? What will I learn? What will come out the other side with me? Who will I become?

The unknown is scary. It’s time to be fierce.

I have hope. I have the flame of survival and I’m a fighter. A phoenix. I just didn’t want to have to fight for what I thought would be freely given. It’s been a rug pulled out from under me.

It feels like a death, and I know it’s not mine, it is to so much of what I thought I knew before, and I know I have to go through this to get to the other side.

Xx

[acrylicalchemy]

Take a closer look at this one. I recently reworked this damaged phoenix painting after it came back from a gallery scuffed and dinged. You can see the video of the damage, the restoration process, and a closer peek at the details. There is more to this specialty piece than meets the eye, because the elements are layered for some really cool effects. There is a canvas beneath the clear shadowbox frame, but the shadowbox is also painted on the back, front, and sides. Playing with translucency, it's not completely covered. There are layered elements so that as the light changes and hits the piece at different angles and times of day, it will cast shadows for some really cool effects. The piece will literally change before your eyes as the phoenix rises 🐦‍🔥🔥❤️

This is "Beyond The Brokenness (Reborn)." All my work is available, and I welcome you to join me on this journey. Find me everywhere on my profile 🙏