#wtf brian

[imharrystylesslut]

Freddie (to Jim): I'm cold

Jim: here, do you want my jacket?

Roger (to Brian): I'm cold too

Brian: Do you want me to set you on fire?

[imharrystylesslut]

Brian: Badgers are love. Badgers are life. Badgers a-

Someone: I don't really like badgers.

Brian:

Brian:

Brian:

Police: so he just fell out the window?

[onlybugstortures]

horrifying shower experience i didn’t like it AT ALL

[hubcaptastrophe]

We're all just sitting listening to my dad having a conversation with his brother and he just dropped the wildest lore about his friend Brian.

I have met Brian once, so I already knew a few things -like that Brian is a brilliant oil painter- because his works are sitting, hanging, piled, or shoved in corners all over his house. He lives out in bumfuck nowhere and target shoots bottles in his front yard, from his busted old lawn chair. He has several teeth. He's single. What hair he has left scorns gravity. Brian is an animated storyteller, a chainsmoker, and quite possibly the coolest old fuck I've ever met.

And today I learned some new facts about Brian.

He worked as a registered nurse in Hawaii for a bit

He did gymnastics and was part of a performing (circus??) group

He was classically trained in the art of Mime

[jellyinmybelly]

no babe I don't know who brian is, I just misspelt the word 'brain'. that's just how my brian is.

[sleepingintheflowers]

Me: Do you want to guess who my current celebrity crush is?

Brian: Kamala Harris from the Good Place?

Me: ...

Brian: No wait! Kamala Jamil! Me: ... Jameela Jamil?

Brian: Yes!

Me: I mean you’re right, but wow.

Brian: But I knew!

[bread-and-donuts]

"Be an independent man, I might just suck my own dick." - Rich Brian on Introvert

Self care is...sucking your own dick???

[tayluna]

I am 23 years old and should be editing my manuscript rn but all I have done this evening is eat an entire bag of Haribo and buy a dress that was on sale