Dec 20, 2024
A Crimson Peak-inspired Hannigram au would be ✨️amazing.✨️
seen from France
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Singapore
seen from Japan
seen from Germany
seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Venezuela
seen from United States
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from China
seen from Hong Kong SAR China
seen from T1
seen from United States
seen from China
A Crimson Peak-inspired Hannigram au would be ✨️amazing.✨️
*slides xander and nat for the ship meme*
ULTIMATE SHIP MEME!
General:
Rate the Ship - Awful | Ew | No pics pls | I’m not comfortable | Alright | I like it! | Got Pics? | Let’s do it! | Why is this not getting more attention?! | The OTP to rule all other OTPs
How long will they last? - Hard to say! A really long time, and whether they will tragically break up or stay together till Nat's inevitable, violent death on the job, depends on how domestic she'll be willing to go. I see Xander wanting to take the next step, marriage and nuclear family, and whether they'll go their separate ways or stay together, it depends on Tasha.
How quickly did/will they fall in love? - Slowly, but when they did, it was hard.
How was their first kiss? - Something impulsive and filthy after a job.
Wedding:
Who proposed? - Xander!
Who is the best man/men? - Theo, probably.
Who is the braid’s maid(s)? - Clint
Who did the most planning? - They did it together.
Who stressed the most? - Nat, but will never admit it.
How fancy was the ceremony? - Back of a pickup truck | 2 | 3 | 4 | Normal Church Wedding | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Kate and William wish they were this big.
Who was specifically not invited to the wedding? - Uuuuuhhhh idk
Sex:
Who is on top? - Nat was more often at first, but as she gets more comfortable with him, they switch more.
Who is the one to instigate things? - Tasha most often
How healthy is their sex life? - Barely touch themselves let alone each other | 2 | 3 | 4 | Once a couple weeks, nothing overboard | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They are humping each other on the couch right now
How kinky are they? - Straight missionary with the lights off | 2 | 3 | 4 | Might try some butt stuff and toys | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Don’t go into the sex dungeon without a horse’s head
How long do they normally last? - I think they love foreplay and taking their time, so... a whiiiiiiiile.
Do they make sure each person gets an equal amount of orgasms? - I think Nat gets more, normally she needs at least two to be satisfied.
How rough are they in bed? - Softer than a butterfly on the back of a bunny | 2 | 3 | 4 | The bed’s shaking and squeaking every time | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | Their dirty talk is so vulgar it’d make Dwayne Johnson blush. Also, the wall’s so weak it could collapse the next time they do it.
How much cuddling/snuggling do they do? - No touching after sex | 2 | 3 | 4 | A little spooning at night, or on the couch, but not in public | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | They snuggle and kiss more often than a teen couple on their fifth date to a pillow factory.
Children:
How many biological children will they have? - Maaaaaybe one.
How many children will they adopt? - One?
Who gets stuck with the most diapers? - Xander, partially cause Nat goes away more often.
Who is the stricter parent? - Tasha
Who stops the kid(s) from doing dangerous stunts after school? - Xander, cause Tasha encourages them to do it safely.
Who remembers to pack the lunch(es)? - Both
Who is the more loved parent? - Both
Who is more likely to attend the PTA meetings? - Xander, because Nat slapped one of the moms and now it's awkward.
Who cried the most at graduation? - Xander! Nat pretended not to get misty-eyed, and later cried in bed.
Who is more likely to bail the child(ren) out of trouble with the law? - TASHA
Cooking:
Who does the most cooking? - Xander
Who is the most picky in their food choice? - Nat, cause she has an ED.
Who does the grocery shopping? - Both
How often do they bake desserts? - Once a week, or every other week!
Are they more of a meat lover or a salad eater? - I think they both have a nice balance, but Xander likes meat more.
Who is more likely to surprise the other(s) with an anniversary dinner? - I think they'd both try to surprise each other at the same time and end up with two dinners.
Who is more likely to suggest going out? - Both
Who is more likely to burn the house down accidently while cooking? - Nat
Chores:
Who cleans the room? - Both
Who is really against chores? - Neither
Who cleans up after the pets? - Mostly Xander, because Auggie is messier than the cats.
Who is more likely to sweep everything under the rug? - Xander
Who stresses the most when guests are coming over? - Nat, because she insists on having a LOT of food. She cannot see an empty plate, and needs to put out her fancy samovar and tea set.
Who found a dollar between the couch cushions while cleaning? - Xander, then they wrestled over it and ended up having sex. When Natasha finds it, she puts it back so that he will.
Misc:
Who takes the longer showers/baths? - Tasha
Who takes the dog out for a walk? - They take turns
How often do they decorate the room/house for the holidays? - I think Xander likes decorating for Christmas and Tasha for Halloween. She hangs up spider webs everywhere. The cats love it.
What are their goals for the relationship? - I think they are rather simple, comparatively. Just stay together and have as healthy a relationship as they can.
Who is most likely to sleep till noon? - Neither, I think? Unless they have a reason, such as jetlag or a late-night mission, which Nat gets more of.
Who plays the most pranks? - Natalia "the most annoying Avenger" Romanova. Her favorite is using the laser dot for the cats to jump on him.
HOLY FUCK THAT IS RACING
slay
It has officially been confirmed by the CEO of Disney that the Loki TV show is happening
HE’S BACK, MY BITCHES
That mash-up cover they...they really did that I-