#youth groups

[ominouspositivity-or-else]

Hey people who went to Christian Youth Groups growing up, click a button about your experiences!

I am Christian, I had a good experience at my Christian youth group.

I am NOT a Christian, I had a good experience at my Christian youth group.

I am a Christian, I did NOT have a good experience.

I am NOT a Christian, I did NOT have a good experience.

Vanilla Extract, I'm Bald, Nuance, Tags, Etc.

Voting ended onJun 28, 2024

Let me know because I'm interested. I didn't have super good experiences but I wouldn't call them bad, just odd. Particularly as it comes to the leadership, but I wondered what other people thought :D

[hippieghost]

I think a lot about the phrase "kids these days are coddled", and it's hard to say exactly why it doesn't fit right with me, because in a way they kind of are, but the phrase is usually just a complaint about kids... Being anxious, and I don't think that's really fair to them.

That said, I think in a way the phrase highlights a similar, and in my opinion much more accurate take:

Kids these days don't get enough trust.

I see it a lot when I work with kids. In the program I'm a part of, it's the youth that run their program, and the adults are really just there to guide them.

The question I get asked the most is "can I do x?"

And every time I answer along the lines of:

"do you think it's okay to?"

And they look at me, floored, because they don't expect to be given a choice.

They don't expect to be given opportunities to think about their actions.

They don't expect to be treated with respect for their thought process.

And every time they consider what would happen and why. Sometimes I'll chime in and say "well did you consider (observation)?", And they'll sometimes offer a good counterpoint, and I'll shrug and go, "that makes sense"

And they'll sit there floored again.

And they'll do the thing

And sometimes it'll work

And sometimes it won't

And every time I ask

"what would you do different next time?"

And that

In my opinion

Is my favorite way to see them grow

[high-quality-tiktoks]

Seduction at its finest

[if-you-fan-a-fire]

Elements of Ruffianism

“If journalistic and official reports are to be believed [and their is good reason to doubt some of the most extreme examples they provided] students in turn-of-the-century Tokyo displayed a penchant for public acts of violence on a par with that of Edo's kabukimono. Many carried short swords, cane swords, or knives, and “showdowns” among groups of students were, in one critic's words, “virtually a fashion.” According to a study by Inspector Sakaguchi Shizuo, who recalled being personally outraged at the activities of these hoodlums when he came to the capital as a student in 1903, some forty-five organized gangs flourished in the years between 1895 and 1912. Some of the earliest gangs claimed between one hundred and three hundred members (although the press often suggested even higher membership figures to amplify the menace these groups portended); subsequent gangs tended to count between thirty and fifty members.

Gangs such as the Tōhoku Righteous Young Men's Group, the Kagoshima Club, and the Ōita Club brought together students from the same regional background, thus constituting what Tomeoka Kōsuke called a “corrupted” offshoot of local origin groups established by immigrants to Tokyo, often under the sponsorship of former domain lords. These groups no doubt resembled those that the anarchist Ōsugi Sakae recalled in his memoirs of life in a provincial military academy, where he and his comrades were told to “never permit yourselves to be humiliated by those from other provinces.”

Other groups, such as the Kyōbashi Gang, the Shinagawa Gang, and the Kanda Club took their names from Tokyo districts; still others, such as the Eastern Cherry Blossom Club, the White Hakama Brigade, or the Righteous Blue Dragons, bore no specific geographic references. Some gangs apparently included members who were not students, but the principal focus of concern was specifically on students.

Many of these groups fit into the category of “ruffians” (kōha). The term kōha denoted a type of student who concentrated on physical activities like jūdō, adopted a swaggering, aggressive style, and rejected contact with women out of fear of becoming weak and effeminate—a view they held of those students, referred to as “rakes” (nanpa), who dressed well and pursued the company of women. These student types had been present since the 1870s, but in the decade after 1895, acts of forcible male-male eroticism and fights related to this behavior emerged as a defining feature of student degeneracy, as seen in the following complaint issued in 1898 by a group calling itself the Justice Club:

Look at the condition of Tokyo's students. While at first glance they appear unsophisticated in their short hakama [trousers], there is, in this day of rapid progress, an evil among them. What is it? Villainous youths band together with others of similar character and seize young boys at temple and shrine festivals, athletic events, boat races, and other places where students congregate. In extreme cases, groups of three to five prowl near middle school gates, accost pupils on their way home, take them to deserted places and wantonly indulge their beastly desires for [sodomy], thus plunging these pure, innocent boys into the world of depraved lust. Such occurrences are nothing new, but these shameless villains are now spreading their poison at such a rate that young boys without a strong protector haven't the heart to walk outside their homes. Having lost their liberty, these boys have also lost their fighting spirit. Is this not deplorable?

As the examples of the kabukimono and Aizu youths show, such sexual violence was of course not new; it had also been part of the life of many domain schools and the shogunate's academy in Edo. Many Meiji students were from samurai backgrounds, and, as Gregory Pflugfelder has noted, readily adopted the homosocial, misogynous style of masculinity inspired by samurai ideals and with it the male-male sexual practice of nanshoku. Nor was such behavior unique to Japanese schoolboys. “In English preparatory and public schools romance is necessarily homosexual,” wrote Robert Graves. “The opposite sex is despised and treated as something obscene.”

Yet in late-Meiji public discourse, students' nanshoku predations appeared to derive particularly from the culture of the former domains of the southwest, especially Satsuma, whose warriors had played leading roles in the Restoration and in the Meiji government. Nanshoku practices were known as a “Satsuma habit,” and according to the novelist Shibusawa Seika, who grew up “terrified by stories of such youths,” marauding students were commonly referred to as Satsumappo.

Sociologist Furukawa Makoto has suggested that government leaders carried this culture from Satsuma to Tokyo, where it was promoted with particular vigor in the nationalistic atmosphere of the decade from the Sino-Japanese War to the Russo-Japanese War. To Furukawa, aggressive displays of nansboku reflected students' desire to partake in the culture of the elites who dominated the government. In this context, denunciations of such behavior, spearheaded by the crusading newspaper Yorozu chōhō, formed part of a broader attack on the Satsuma clique's pernicious influence in national life (and by extension, on the influence of the clique's Chōshū allies).

 As one Yorozu editorialist put it in 1900, “The greatest inspiration that powerful men of the clique government have given to Tokyo youths is for nanshoku and dueling.” At the same time, Pflugfelder notes, criticism of student nanshoku constituted part of an effort to impose new norms of “civilized morality” on the discourse of the erotic. Within this discursive strategy, male-male sexual relations represented a vestige of the barbaric past (and of a putatively particular regional past), a mode of behavior to be outgrown by the individual adolescent and by the nation as a whole.

Not all student gangs adopted nanshoku practices. Differences in regional backgrounds may have been a factor in these varied approaches to sexual behavior, just as regional rivalries may have fueled showdowns over particular boys. Nanshoku traditions were probably weaker among the sons of wealthy farmers, whose presence in the student body increased greatly at the turn of the twentieth century, although the desire to assimilate to a samurai-dominated student culture may have led some to adopt this behavior. Whether or not the members of the Justice Club, which was itself a major gang, in fact refrained from nanshoku acts is hard to tell, but the authors of the manifesto quoted earlier consciously manipulated public outrage for their own purposes. Such ambiguities aside, the Justice Club's posturing as defenders of the weak highlights a second element in the ruffian cultural repertoire: many saw themselves as heirs of a lineage of “Eastern heroes” (Tōyōteki gōketsu) who did not hesitate to use violence in the pursuit of just causes.”

- David Ambaras, “Civilizing “Degenerate Students”,” Bad Youth: Juvenile Delinquency and the Politics of Everyday Life in Modern Japan. Berkeley: University of California Press, 2005. pp. 69-71.

[jomiddlemarch]

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[sleepyducktime]

Young Carer rant time

So like, I've been feeling a bit off emotionally lately and I know, this happens to everyone and we all have problems with our family. The thing is though I've been thinking and I never actually realized how many of my problems come with being a young carer. Or more specifically the situation that creates. (Disclaimer this is just my personal experiences as a carer in a UK city. I'm not claiming it's like this everywhere but hey, for all I know it might be.) ((This got quite long, just a heads up))

For anyone who doesn't know, a young carer is, as the name suggests, a young person who cares for someone - usually a family member such as a parent sibling or someone else close to them. This person does not have to be related, does not have to live in the same house, you do not have to be the only person looking after this person to be classed as a carer and whether or not you're a carer now, that can change with time. (There is, I'm sure, a difference between caring for someone often and when someone has, a cold for example, but I'm not an expert and I'm not gonna say who is and isn't a carer.) What I will say though is wow people do not talk about this do they?

For example: did you know that it's estimated 1 in 10 people in the uk are carers? And that the most common statistic used suggests that well over 700,000 of these carers are young people? And I don't mean young adults because that's a whole other group, I mean ages 5-21.

Now that we have the background, here's my actual post.

Hi! I'm a young carer from the uk! I'm one of the very lucky ones! I only had to miss school once or twice, I only really started doing a lot of caring when I was about 12 and I had other people who helped with the caring. That last one is the big one for me for the following reason.

I never considered myself a carer. It was only when my older sister started going to our local group when I was 14 that I had even heard the term. "I'm not a carer! I've seen them on TV, that's kids whose parents can't leave the house and need 24/7 care!". Now I'm not saying this doesn't happen, it's just the same as most things on TV, the extreme version. I eventually went along to this group and ho boy! The things I learned there!

In no particular order!

Caring does not have to be physical. It can be anything from helping someone bathe and dress, to making sure they take their meds, making sure they get to work or school on time or just caring for someone emotionally.

Caring for someone emotionally can often be the hardest part. Looking after someone so close to you and helping them through everything can cause a huge drain on your own energy.

Sometimes, you're caring and you don't even know it. I didn't realise until my late teens that not evey child has to push the trolley for their disabled parent and not everyone has to do all the (literal) heavy lifting because no one else physically can. Not everyone spends their lunch times with only their sister to make sure she leaves the house this week.

That some people might think badly of having to do the above. Because (and this is technically point 5) yes it is 100% ok to resent the situation of being a young carer. It is 100% ok to wish you weren't. But I haven't met a single person who wouldn't do it gladly or who would blame anything about it on the person they care for. The blame is always on a lack of support. (We'll get to that, that's the point I'm making)

That your caring situation can change. Sometimes people, or the situation get better or worse. Sometimes people move in and out of the situation entirely.

Having a support structure is key and can flip your entire life. I personally went to the local Young Carers group. I'm assuming each one is different but in mine we had;

Weekly meetings to chill, go out for food, do fun stuff you might not get a chance for otherwise and have two hours a week with other kids who understand your situation, without having to worry about home life. You could show up and leave whenever you liked no pressure.

Respite. Overnight trips out of the city to experience things you might not usually get. These could range from outdoor activities to spa weekends to a whole week out at sea.

A forum group. Led by the young people, to talk about things from what we want more in weekly groups to putting together speeches we give at parliament.

A support worker who you could talk to 1 on 1 about anything at all. They help with school life and talking to teachers when needed, getting a job, getting into uni, getting professional help with anything needed from mental health to financial support for just about anything. It's all 100% confidential and they do everything they can to help. When possible they will even offer to come along to things like first interviews or appointments and wait outside as moral support.

These are just the things off the top of my head, I'm sure I have loads more but I wasn't actually planning on writing this much!!

Back to the actual post! Most people, grow up, learn to do chores, complain about it and move out. Without other limitations (like money or controlling guardians to name a few) you can enjoy time out with friends, get all your school work done, get a part time job if you want and come home knowing you can rest. As a carer, if you have the time and opportunity to do that, you can spend up to your entire time thinking about what's happening at home. This isn't to say that every carer is always busy but it definitely happens. (I'm almost 19 and only just starting to look for a job because I literally didn't have the time. In a world where people start working at 16 and things like socialising and extracurriculars are so important, its pretty clear how this can be detrimental.) When all of that is done, there isn't a place to rest because home is where the rest of the work starts.

You can spend your entire childhood doing lots of the housework, cooking every meal, doing all the shopping, taking someone to appointments or just whenever they have somewhere to be. These things can add up. Sometimes its making sure they leave the house or take medication, and I've not even mentioned things like helping them get dressed, helping them bathe, making sure the bills are paid or, in some people's cases, acting like a literal parent for a sibling because no one else can. Being the only person who will listen to their physical and or mental issues. (And I would like to remind you here that the carers we are talking about are 5-21.)

When you do get time to yourself, often you just want to sit and do nothing (despite the fact that sometimes, you feel guilty for this.)

The problem is not just having to do all these things. The problem is not being able to talk about it. You can't talk to people in your house about your problems because you might be the one thing holding them together. You can't take a day off because everyone needs food and clean clothes and if you don't do it no one will. You can't talk to school friends about it because what if they don't understand or when you do the response is "oh well I make my own dinner as well it's not that bad". You can't tell any of this to the person you care for because what if they think you blame them? You have to think about whether or not you can go to college or move out because who is going to look after the people you love? And depending on the person or the task, you stop getting thanks, certain stuff is suddenly expected no matter what, and in some cases they might get angry at you for doing it (I know you don't want the curtains and window open but you haven't been outside in days). This is why I said I'm lucky. Not only did I have another person to split the work with, I also didn't start at an exceptionally young age.

Now this isn't meant to be a complaint about being a young carer. Many of the people I know have said it's made them even closer and I definitely agree!! This post is (yes we're finally at the point!! ADHD rambling over!) about the fact that we don't talk about it. I was a young carer to three people and I hadn't even heard of it? It was mentioned once in all my time at school on an A4 poster during carers week (the school didn't even realise one of their students was on the poster.) If I didn't have my group I likely would have dropped out of school, and become severely depressed. I would have missed out on so many different social and cultural activities, I wouldn't have a CV. And I have a relatively average caring job.

The thing is, they can only help so many people. Most young carers will have all these same issues at home, work, school and in their social life and they won't have any help at all. Even if there wasn't a limit on how many kids can join a project due to funds and resources, most young carers don't know about the help available.

Which is why we need to start talking about this more. We need to make it so carers aren't ashamed to tell people. So help is easier to come by and we won't miss out on basic childhood necessities. Because if the majority of carers still struggle a lot with support, we need to ask what's happening to the kids without it.

How can we do this you ask? Simple! Look into local Young Carers groups! Some accept donations (both money and things like books or toys) some do fundraising, just get involved! Check your local education places and youth centres! See if they can raise awareness with posters, talks, including it in lessons. If you don't have a local young carers group, find out why! It might be a lack of funding. Going to local councils and expressing the need for more education and funding can be very helpful when coming from these groups so imagine if other people were to help!

There are over 29,000 young carers in my country. (I'm also not even sure if this statistic includes anyone over 16). The carers projects only manage to help around 2400. That's a lot of children who need help. And a lot of people who need to start talking about it.

[captain-maaarvel]

As a retail worker..Youth groups put fear into my heart.