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I need 1,160 fics like this on my desk by tomorrow
Usopp likes it when Zoro and Sanji fight… over him. Curious about this threesome? Check out the zine on October 16th!
Art by @r0ttkins!
A zosopp/sanuso/zousosan love triangle prompt:
Flower Shop & Tattoo Parlor AU... with a twist!
Sanji has to handle some flower arrangement orders for the Baratie. At the floral shop, he becomes smitten with the sweet, but knowledgeable florist.
Meanwhile Zoro goes to get a piercing or tattoo or something done at a parlor, and he, in turn, becomes interested in the creative and cheerful tattoo artist.
Now, the only problem is that that florist and that tattoo artist... are both Usopp, who just happens to work two jobs.
Sanji and Zoro are roommates or friends or whatever, and both know that the other is interested in some guy he met at the flower shop/tattoo parlor, but because the environments are such polar oppoites, they haven't figured out they're after the same guy.
The love triangle commences!
(I have no idea how to approach this prompt myself, so I'm giving it to you! Tag me if you write it!)
Contributor Spotlight
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Favorite Usopp Ship: SanUso, ZoUsoSan
“Hello everyone! I'm just a fellow Usopp appreciator and I'll try to do my best along with my 8000 drawing soldiers!!!!”
Really?
Also on ao3
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“Where did Usopp go?” Sanji asked Zoro as he woke up.
“I don’t know. Maybe we suffocated him.” Zoro answered.
“Don’t joke about that!” Sanji yelled. He looked around the room. “I don’t see his nose anywhere.”
“Maybe he got up already.” Zoro suggested.
“Without waking either of us up?” Sanji said. “Usopp! You in here?”
“Shut up! I’m trying to sleep!” Usopp climbed out of the covers to glare at Sanji.
“I’m glad you’re not dead.” Sanji hugged Usopp. Zoro followed suit, so Usopp was sandwiched between the two of them.
“Do you guys have to do this every morning?” Usopp questioned.
“It’s not our fault that you end up beneath the covers so that we think you’ve suffocated.” Zoro said, while Sanji simply hummed in response.
“Yeah, yeah. I love you guys, too.” Usopp smiled slightly. “But is it seriously necessary for you two to do that every morning?”
Can You Lift Me?
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“Can you lift me?” Usopp asked Zoro one day.
“What kind of question is that? Of course I can lift you.” Zoro answered.
“But can you lift me and Sanji at the same time?” Usopp questioned.
“Of course I can!”
“Prove it.” Usopp challenged, which caused Zoro to place down his weights and lift up Usopp.
“See? Easy.”
“But you need to lift up Sanji, too.” Usopp pointed out.
“Oi! Cook!” Zoro shouted, and, once Sanji was in sight, Zoro immediately picked him up.
“What the hell are you doing?” Sanji yelled.
“I challenged him to lift us both at the same time.” Usopp answered.
“That’s a dumb challenge.” Sanji said. “We both know he can pick us up at the same time.”
Just then, Luffy managed to fall off the ship.
“I’ll go save him.” Sanji stated before jumping into the water to save their dumbass captain.
The Valiant Knight Has Come to Rescue You!
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Usopp, the great and valiant knight, was sent on a quest to rescue the prince who was trapped in the tower and guarded by a dragon. Of course, Usopp, being the brave knight that he is, accepted the quest.
However, he was now quivering in his armor, afraid to even approach the tower. It was fine. He was the brave knight, Usopp! He had killed countless dragons, and the mere mention of his name is enough to make babies stop crying!
Except for the fact that those were all lies, and this was the first dragon he had ever seen. The dragon was the size of the tower that it guarded, and it had green scales. Usopp was just thankful that the dragon seemed to be sleeping at that moment.
This comfort was short lived, as the prince poked their head out of the tower and shouted at the dragon.
“Hey! Wake up, you shitty dragon!” The prince shouted. The reaction the dragon had was instantaneous. It immediately woke up and growled at the prince.
The prince simply glared back at the dragon, seemingly unfazed by the giant monstrosity guarding the tower.
“Don’t give me that look! It’s your own damn fault that I’m still stuck in this godforsaken tower!” The prince yelled.
“Well, excuse me for doing my job, curly brow.” The dragon’s voice rang out, and Usopp’s eyeballs nearly popped out in surprise.
“How can you even do your job when you’re constantly sleeping?” The prince questioned.
“How can I sleep when you’re constantly waking me up?” The dragon countered.
“Shut up and eat your food.” The prince then handed the dragon a large chunk of meat.
“By the way, there’s another knight coming to save you.” The dragon commented before eating the meat.
“I already knew that, idiot.” The prince looked over in the direction Usopp was hiding. “Oi. If you’re here to save me, then why don’t you come out already? God knows I want someone to get rid of this stupid dragon.”
“Like anyone could.” The dragon scoffed.
“I could easily kick your ass if I was not in this tower!” The prince claimed.
“I-I’m warning you!” Usopp shouted and the two glanced back in his direction. “I have eight million men under my control! I’ve killed countless dragons and saved so much royalty that they call me ‘God Usopp’! If you let me take the prince now, I’ll spare your life, dragon!”
The dragon simply resounded by blowing a small amount of fire towards the knight. Usopp jumped at the sudden burst of fire and screamed, but, to his credit, he did not pass out.
“You’re lying.” The dragon said.
“Crap. I’ve been found out.” Usopp stated. He then got out his slingshot. “Fine then! Even if those were all lies, I can st-still beat you!”
“Your legs are shaking.” The dragon pointed out. “And I’ve never seen a knight use a slingshot.”
“Well, I guess I’m just different. Firebird Star!” Usopp shouted as he shot a bird of flame at the dragon.
The dragon didn’t even react when the Firebird Star reached him.
“Damnit. It didn’t work.” Usopp cursed before going back into hiding. “I thought for sure fire would work!”
“If you didn’t notice, the damn bastard is a dragon!” The prince shouted. “He’s immune to fire!”
“Why the hell are you giving him tips?” The dragon growled.
“Maybe so I can get out of this shitty tower?” The prince answered. “It’s not like I want to stay here for the rest of my life!”
“Well, it’s not like I was ordered to get you out of tower at any time!”
“Explosive Star!” Usopp shot his Explosive Star at the dragon as soon as he gained the courage to do so.
The dragon suddenly turned into a human and sliced the Explosive Star in half, the explosion going behind him.
“Explosive Star! Explosive Star! Explosive Star!” Usopp shot a succession of three Explosive Star’s, but all of them were cut by the dragon that suddenly turned into a swordsman.
However, it seemed that the tower that the prince was in was constructed very badly, as it had started falling apart when it got it by the Explosive Stars.
The tower fell, as did the prince, who happened to land right in Usopp’s arms.
Usopp looked just as surprised as the prince was when Usopp just so happened to be in the right spot to catch the prince.
“Holy shit. I saved the prince.” Usopp stated.
“Well, you got me out of the tower, so I guess you weren’t a complete favor.” The prince said. “And let go of me, will you?”
“Oh! Sorry!” Usopp carefully helped the prince back on his feet. “Might I learn your name?”
“Typically it’s common custom to introduce yourself before asking the names of others.” The prince stated.
“Oh, right.” Usopp took a stance that suggested he was more confident than he actually was. “I’m the great knight, Usopp!”
“It’s nice to meet you. I’m Sanji, and the bastard marimo over there is Zoro.” Sanji glanced over to the dragon, who was walking away. “Oi! Where are you going?”
“Eh? You got out of the tower, so I’ve got no obligation to stay here.” Zoro answered.
“Oh, no. Like hell you are getting away before I get to have a fight with you!” Sanji shouted.
“You want a fight?” Zoro yelled back.
As the two fought, Usopp wondered what the hell was going on.
Kisses
Also on ao3
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“Why the hell am I always the one to clean up you two’s messes?” Sanji yelled at Zoro and Usopp.
“He started it.” Usopp pointed at Zoro.
“Eh? You were the one who suggested I do it!” Zoro defended.
“Well, I didn’t think you were actually going to do it!” Usopp shouted back.
“Shut up! Both of you!” Sanji exclaimed. “Arguing isn’t going to fix anything!”
“It was Zoro’s fault anyway.” Usopp whispered to himself.
Sanji sighed as he sat down on the couch.
“Awww! Come on, Sanji! You can’t be mad at us forever.” Usopp began riddling Sanji’s neck with kisses. Zoro followed suit.
“Kissing my neck isn’t going to make me any less mad.” Sanji said as his face was completely red.
“What? You want us to stop?” Zoro asked, smirking. Sanji frowned.
“No.” Sanji admitted. “Carry on.”
