Things Heroes Say

Incorrect Fable quotes I pulled off generators

[tales-from-albion]

Hammer: It’s Christmas! Are you all in a Christmas mood?!

Garth: Merry crisis.

Sparrow: Jingle bells, jingle bells, single all the way.

Reaver: Hoe hoe hoe.

Hammer: Guys, please.

[herladycorvid]

So

Reaver tells Sparrow that he's hunted down 5 of the 6 Dragonstompers. The last Dragonstomper can be found in Fable 3 in only 2 possible locations; the courtyard of castle bowerstone (locked behind 50 silver keys hidden across Albion/Aroura) or in a chest hidden in the former monarch's (Sparrow) sanctuary hidden behind a puzzle.

Which brings me to the only logical conclusion; Sparrow found the last Dragonstomper AND LOCKED IT AWAY JUST SO REAVER COULDN'T HAVE IT.

Since Rose was killed Sparrow's been living off of PURE SPITE.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Hammer: We got spring water

Reaver: NO.

Sparrow: with EXTRA minerals

Hammer: it's like licking a stalagmite

Reaver: DON'T COME HOME.

Sparrow: Mmmmm cave water

[tales-from-albion]

@kenais-posts

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste

Hammer: We got spring water

Reaver: NO.

Sparrow: with EXTRA minerals

Hammer: it's like licking a stalagmite

Reaver: DON'T COME HOME.

Sparrow: Mmmmm cave water

[tales-from-albion]

In the royal court

Sir Walter: State your name, rank, and intention.

Reaver: Reaver, Reaver, fun.

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: Did you like the food I made?

Garth: No, not really.

Reaver: But I put my heart and soul into it!

Garth: No wonder it tastes so cold and dead.

[tales-from-albion]

Sparrow: You’re drunk.

Reaver: Correction: drinking. Present tense. Grammar, Sparrow.

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: You’d be stupid to lay a hand on me.

Sparrow: Oh, you’d be surprised how much stupid shit I do.

[tales-from-albion]

Sparrow: Bitches be like “I'm baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do you know about being baby, you were forced to grow up from an early age, anyways I’m bitches.

[tales-from-albion]

Ben Finn: We have a problem.

Page: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: Ugh, there’s always that weak bitch in the group who isn’t down with murder.

Reaver: *glares at Hammer*

Hammer: Well, sorry I have morals!

[tales-from-albion]

Hammer: Do you have any skeletons in your closet?

Reaver: You mean literally or figuratively?

Hammer: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

[tales-from-albion]

Theresa: Remember when you didn't try to solve all your problems with attempted murder?

Reaver: Stop romanticizing the past.

[tales-from-albion]

Hammer: This is such a bad idea.

Sparrow: Then why are you coming along?

Hammer: One of us needs to be able to talk Garth out of being mad when this inevitably goes wrong.

[tales-from-albion]

Reaver: I actually have a black belt.

Page: In what, karate?

Reaver: No, from Gucci.

[tales-from-albion]

Garth: If you had to choose between Sparrow and all the gold I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Reaver: That depends, how much gold are we taking about?

Sparrow: Reaver!

Garth: 6 pieces.

Reaver: I'll take the gold.

Sparrow: REAVER!!!

[tales-from-albion]

Sparrow: Is stabbing someone immoral?

Reaver: Not if they consent to it.

Garth: Depends who you’re stabbing.

Hammer: YES?!?