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I just realized I haven’t told you guys about how 3rd President of the United States Thomas Jefferson haunts my dorm room.

bisexualgambit

Okay so basically at the beginning of the year, weird shit began happening in our dorm room, me and my roommate would hear/see things, TVs and phones and computers would start on there own and do other weird things.

We decided jokingly that the room was haunted and named the ghost Jeff and even made it a door tag.

Me and my roommate began to notice a trend it the activity of “Jeff” He always seemed to act up most when I talked shit about Thomas Jefferson or James Madison’s personality/policies/etc.

We began to joke that it was Thomas Jefferson or James Madison (hell we even joked it might be Dolley)

Well the other day, our ghost confirmed himself as “Thomas Jefferson.”

After a particularly rude attack on Thomas Jefferson character (I claimed the best thing he ever did was die.) A fucking giant ass jumbo size box of Mac and Cheese fell off of the tallest shelf in our dorm room.

I’m talking one of these babies but it’s like a 20 pack. To me it’s obviously that this is obviously proof that “inventor” of mac and cheese, 3rd President of the United States who was born and died in Virginia travelled to Upstate New York in an area he never even came close to in his life to haunt my dorm

My roommate is not convinced though: She still thinks it could be James Madison.

But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese (We conducted an experiment to see if Madison would have been able to reach it when he was only 5′4″ and being 5′4″, I couldn’t even reach it jumping up and down.)

So yes, me and my roommate have proved undeniable that Thomas Jefferson haunts our dorm room.

Also she pointed out that we randomly named the ghost “Jeff” which is pretty fucking close to Jefferson. Coincidence? OBVIOUSLY NOT.

hamletthedane

“But a Madison-sized ghost couldn’t have reached the mac and cheese”

I’m so glad I was alive to see this sentence written.

sadisgates

Why were you regularly shit talking founding fathers tho

bisexualgambit

I’m a salty U.S. History Major, that’s why

emeraldboreas-deactivated201809

This is the quality content I signed up for

pussylipgloss

frankenfemme

This truck got no business being that thicc

tealass22-deactivated20201101

I shrieked

feathersandstripes

Ya Honda is in the shop and this is your rental car

What you do?

nesija

if she a 4x4 im a 4x4 😍

77777777777777777777222-deactiv

Who is she and what kind of mileage that she get

kingjaffejoffer

lesbomatriarchy

*writes I LIKE GIRLS on every other page of my journals so future historians don’t try to insist that I’m straight”

penis-siz3-average

Future straight Historians: “we see several examples of her prioritizing a sisterly bond with the women around her, for example on page 12 she says ‘I like girls’ and throughout the text she references loving women and preferring their company. This is not to say she prioritized about her romantic relationships because on page 78 she mentions talking to a man one time in her life. It’s hard to know just how much she valued her sisterly bond with women due to this one reference of men and the ambiguity of early 21st century slang. For example on page 12 when she said she liked women, the passage continues ’…in a lesbian way. I want to kiss girls, they are so pretty, I’m so gay.’ Now it’s difficult to understand just what that sentence means. We know that in the early 21st century kissing on the cheek in greeting had gone out of vogue but the word gay, a word with an archaic meaning of happiness gives the contextual clues that perhaps she is references that old fashioned practice.

Going back to the nameless man that is mentioned once on page 78 for one sentance…”