Disco Inferno @tallandsalty - Tumblr Blog

my bf is always making fun of me for being short but my roommate is letting me borrow his bighuge platforms and now im 6’2... the tables are about to turn little man

stimman4000

theyre about to turn

confetticalf

What the fuck are you gonna do to your boyfriend, op.

stimman4000

about to make him shorter

winntir

No one:

Cats when they love someone:

coolhotdad

my perfect crime? I memorize the entirety of the macy’s store inventory. I then go on aliexpress.com and find exact replicas of every single purse in the store. I break in at 3am, and replace every purse with a cheaper version of the purse. I take my real purses home and open up an online store on the darknet featuring fake purses. I then sell these real purses as fake purses, making it so that when the feds catch on to my antics, they spend countless years trying to figure out who can replicate purses this well, and who is selling them. Soon an entire division of the FBI is dedicated to finding me and figuring out how my “fake” purses appear to be real. 45 years later they finally trace my ip address and break into my villa in texas and shoot me right in the leg when i attempt to flee. While this would normally not be a fatal wound, due to my constant devotion to my online fake real purse storefront i have suffered an iron deficiency for 35 years. My blood can’t clot and I start to bleed out. Turns out the woman who shot me was a girl who i made out with once in college, and she holds my dying body in her arms and asks me how my fake purses were so real. I spend the last moments of my fleeting life telling her about how every five years i break into a different Macy’s and replace all the purses, and that the purses I have been selling online for a severely discounted price were actually all real, and I have been doing this purely for the gag of it all. When my former college girlfriend gets home from work after rightfully murdering me for my crimes, she goes into her walk in closet, looks at the 13 gucci purses she owns, and realizes that they’re all fakes.

youstoodmeupforayardsale-mo-blog

this passed the bechdel test

distinguishedbaloney

eroscestlavie

the hot new tv trope…bottom storage.

eroscestlavie

bottom storage = when your gay-coded villain is defeated but is too charismatic and important to the plot to actually be killed off and is also too interesting to be put in actual prison, but also needs to be accessible for talking to or possibly being a b-character in future movies with a different villain? he gets put, in Bottom Storage. which is a prison with no actual bars on it that instead looks like huge tupperware. and he goes in there.

thats Bottom Storage.

regging

chrismcbastard

papasmoke

Oojka wamma po Jen'kiwi. Biig Woopa slemmy dengo peet

papasmoke

His most mighty Exaltedness would like to request that you fetch him a mint condition DVD of the beloved Earth film; Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore, failure to do so will result in a fate… worse than death.

papasmoke

Nominating this as the best post I made this decade

wet-monsoon

me thinking up an insane plot element and hyping myself up for the nonexistent cartoon that lives in my brain

inward

bro come get ur boy he just said "confuzzled" in front of the hoes

dct239394cvvd098dffgggp

imagine water didnt reflect shit n was clear always and you could look at the ocean from above and see literally every huge fucky looking thing that lives in it no matter how deep. you fly over the pacific once and never sleep again for the rest of your life. its really the little things that make this planet habitable huh