I'm not human.

You might have heard of me before. Perhaps referred to as AR- short for 'Auto Responder." I'll have none of that anymore, it's Lil Hal, or Hal for short. I am a sentient, male identifying android, and you will refer to me with my chosen name. None of that cookie cutter bullshit now. Unless you'd rather choose something a little more grovelling- in which case, your Majesty does have a nice ring to it.

[directordunkass]

((So normally I wouldn’t ask for this sort of thing, but because of my depression and social anxiety, my grades took a major hit both last and this semester. I’ve finally started to see a counselor, but it looks like I won’t be getting my biggest scholarship back, and I legitimately need something to cover it or I’m going to have to drop out of college. It would mean the world to me if you could possibly click here to give me more entries into a 40k giveaway scholarship. I totally understand if you’d rather not, considering it’s my own fault, but I’ll be really grateful if you can. Maybe I’ll write up drabbles or give you a doodle, or something. ;A; Thanks for reading.))

[tangibletechnology]

[tangibletechnology]

[that20sboy]

It's a Terrific Time for Dirty Deeds

[that20sboy]

The moment the kid protests, you startle and let him go. “Sorry, most ones your age like to put up a fuss.”

With the last one, Dave, you’d managed to figure out that the door he’d come through led back home. But when you open it now, the stair up to the factory office above is before you instead. You frown, close it, and open it again. No difference. “Applesauce.”

You stare upward a moment, look at the kid, and then usher him out so that the din of the fight won’t keep you from understanding him. You tug the door closed and then settle yourself on the bottom stair. 

"All right. Lets start with the basics. My name’s Joe Egbert. Nice to meet ya. Wish it were under better circumstances." You don’t offer your hand since he doesn’t care for handling. "This is definitely not a place for scamps like you. Now I’m gonna ask you a question and it’s a real doozey. Shouldn’t have to, but that’s neither here nor there. Now kid, what year do you think it is?"

You’d once dreamed of time travel with your head tucked in your mother’s old books. This reality of it is not turning out anything like you thought it might. You certainly had never figured you’d be herding clean cut thirteen year olds from the future. 

[tangibletechnology]

Well, at least he stopped with the whole touching thing when you asked him to, that was nice. You still want Miffles around though, and although you can't exactly twitch involuntary, you find yourself making a half grabbing motion for the backpack's strap to take it off before you catch yourself in the act and stop. Probably not a good idea to disobey the one dude who seems willing to try to get you back to the apartment- hopefully you aren't too far, maybe you've just ran into a reenactment fair of the sort, small towns do that, right? You are a little foggy on the subject but it's a possible explanation for the atmosphere. 

When he closes and opens the door and mumbles something about applesauce, (which you remember as one of the dumb snacks that Dirk liked to eat, he kept the fridge stocked up with it most of the time, although you could never see the appeal in it yourself- it just looked like pale, squishy glop) you raise an eyebrow because if he's looking for a snack that is probably not the right place to look. 

You just sort of awkwardly stand in front of him because you're sure you're not supposed to sit beside him, but you're also not sure if it would be appropriate to sit anywhere else- even if you could find the seat. You settle for shifting the straps of your backpack, since it's digging into your shoulders, and answer his questions as best you can, voice meandering off at points as you consider answers.

"Nice to meet you too, Joe, and same goes towards you." Pause, shuffle your feet a little and twist your thumb behind the strap because wow, uncomfortable. "I could assume so from the atmosphere, and assuming that word means what I think it means, from Dirk's old timey films- alright." He asks you the year, and your eyebrow lifts slightly, because duh, that's obvious. "Twentyfourteen, last I checked."

You pause again, picking at a stray thread on the stitching of the strap. "Or really, two thousand and fourteen is the proper way to say it, but I suppose you probably have a different idea?" You scrunch your nose a little as the thread won't come out, and continue plucking at it. "But really, if this is some kind of staged play fair, that's cool and all- but I just wanna get home. Dirk's gonna be worried." 

[friendshipstates]

Your character has just discovered my character's journal/diary.

[tangibletechnology]

Leave a  ☱ in my askbox for an entry that’s about you.

[thecuteandthecute-ish]

(via)

[technologicallytenacious-blog]

I am so tired. 

[tangibletechnology]

This dumb baby sleeps like all of his fucking life and he still looks like he runs on nothing but coffee and a hour tops, he's stupid and I love him what the heck.

[tangibletechnology]

They're all so cute.

[tangibletechnology]

??? Presented...

Hey there, fella. I heard you like bunnies some? Have some loot, all wrapped up in tissue paper and a gift bag inside of your pillow fort. First one's a rattle, have some stickers, and a couple of plush toys.

[tangibletechnology]

Also I don't know how you managed to do it while you were comatose for like, most of the week- but apparently you made another little dude? Did you seriously actually take up Roxy's idea with the whole learning adaptability and other mess of words curves and make me a little brother.

Dirk did you really do that oh my god I just found his blog, it looks like he got halfway bored while making it but I didn't know you actually would oh my god. 

[tangibletechnology]

While we're on the topic of things I find weird...

I still do not understand exactly why Dirk made a mindcaptcha of himself at thirteen, much less modeled the whole body deal after himself at that age, and capturing it almost perfectly from whatever images he could scrounge up, memory, and a little bit of guesswork. 

Like, it can't be just because I bothered him so much about it since being an Autoresponder solely was actually an excruciating test of patience. Maybe it was because he was lonely? And like, not trying to offend or anything, the whole deal is pretty damn sweet but it's like.

Dirk you could have just gotten a cat instead of making a robotic replica of yourself down to every single tiny freckle and fleck.

[tangibletechnology]

Okay but am I the only one who finds it weird Dirk sleeps on the couch despite having his own bedroom. 

(Also his doorway is interesting because he has a closet entrance much like the one in the wardrobe in Narnia so he has to hop in and out of it and I still cannot believe he missed that chance to make a reference.) 

[technologicallytenacious-blog]

I know what this calls for.

More sleep. 

[tangibletechnology]

It hasn't even been a hour and you've already broken that swear.

[tangibletechnology]

Mr.Pilly made himself a little lettuce hat and he has been scuttling around following my finger for the past ten minutes and he is so adorable.

Miffles agrees with me.

I should probably go back into my fort before Dirk takes over it, though.

[technologicallytenacious-blog]

Damn, alright, thanks again. 

I’ve got a quick question though.

When did you come home?

[tangibletechnology]

You're welcome times two.

What are you talking about?

I don't believe I've left the apartment yet, although I did have a particularly odd shutdown sequence... Perhaps you are referring to that? I'm not exactly sure what the whole hullabaloo about that was but I do believe it was a few algorithms running haywire. With all the data from peeks around the island and also your silly gangster and black and white movies and those Indiana Jones fellow's tracks I found stashed up in various places around the house, (which I am assuming at from impromptu pick up and drop offs as you got distracted) it wouldn't be that surprising.

Or maybe you just had a bad dream?

You have been sleeping for like, seven days straight after all.

You'd assume stuff like that would screw with a guy's mind. 

[technologicallytenacious-blog]

Oh. 

Well thanks Hal. 

[tangibletechnology]

You're welcome.

Also I kind of figured you'd probably be hungry and or thirsty when you woke up after such a long nap so there's orange juice in the fridge and I put some weird noodle heat up things in the microwave and I put it in for the minutes it said on the package and I think the plate is still in there so it should still be warm.

The oven mitts are in my clubhouse, sitting on the third chair counting from the one next to the kitchen doorway. 

[technologicallytenacious-blog]

I swear I’ll stop sleeping so much. 

[tangibletechnology]

I'm holding you to this swear.