By and large, Bostonians do not help you because they are secretly kind. They do it because they refuse to suffer fools. When they see someone do something they think is stupid in public, they are angry because they have to witness people being idiots. The only way they can get rid of the problem -- someone being an idiot -- is to fix that person's problem so they don't have to watch your bullshit anymore. So they help you, and they berate you for it. They will go tell their friends how you ruined their morning and wasted their time for being a fucking idiot. If they help you dig your car out in winter because you don't have a shovel, they may even gift you a shovel. This is not an act of generosity. They do it so they never have to endure your incompetence ever again. From the bottom of their hearts, they hate you and never want to see you again.
However, the "well, someone's gotta do it, and this idiot won't, so I will" mentality secretly betrays that they have extremely strong values about caring for a community. If people can't take care of themselves, someone else has to do it, and if you're the one seeing it happen, that someone is you.
Through this process, there is a random chance that the angry Bostonian will adopt you like you are a helpless puppy. This is especially true if they see you make the same mistake on a routine: every day, this person does not take the bus even though a reasonable person would; they don't know how to care for themselves, I must watch out for them. If every day at 8pm you drop your bag, you may be an idiot, but you're an incurable idiot. You canât help it, you need ongoing assistance, so they will show up at 8pm every day and insist that they carry your bag whether you like it or not. They'll give you a hard time, because you've given them a new job, but it evolves into a secret affection and extremely strong protective instinct. They will not let anyone fuck with you. They will throw down for you. They will be sad if they don't get to see you anymore, but they will never admit that or even that they like you. They will give you a $100 gift card to dunkin instead.
This response is much more likely if they realize you're not an idiot, you are just physically unable to Do The Thing. In this case, they have nothing to berate you for, but The Job Still Has To Be Done, so they silently carry your suitcase up the stairs. This also happens with moving heavy stuff on and off the train. They will not ask permission and they probably won't speak to you or even look at you. And they'll shovel the snow out of the 80 yr old neighbor's front yard because someone's gotta do it, and grandma can't. Unless you look out your window at the right time, you may never know who plowed your driveway. They may even outright deny it because they donât know how to accept affection.
A defining characteristic of the Bostonian psyche is their deep commitment to care for those who cannot care for themselves, the bitterest hatred for anyone who can but doesn't, and a compulsive need to fix problems (real or imagined).
