Just living life and enjoying random stuff

she/her, 26, books books books

[themoonandmyman]

#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.

#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.

[oatmealdiva]

shane:

[continent-of-wild-endeavor]

[zagreus]

[isolabellz]

shane hollander’s guide to lingerie inspired by this post

[metanarrates]

all women should be more hairy and sweaty and eat more food and laugh more loudly. my stance as a feminist and also my stance as a lesbian pervert

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (62/?) peloton ad part 1 - ilya

(part 2 - lily)

[barbie-verse]

heated rivalry twitter (64/?) peloton ad part 3 - bts

(part 1 - ilya) (part 2 - lily)

[mmleepmlorp]

My five year plan is to just see what happens

[mythmagicetc]

ilya as captain of an all-star team still doing his “i love you i love you i love you” thing and everyone’s like “last week you told me i wasn’t ensouled because my mother didn’t orgasm when i was conceived but okay man”

[damnnmilkovich]

Hayden has to come over to use Shane’s shower after one of their runs.

“I’m so sorry dude, Arthur shoved a bunch of toys down the toilet and our plumbing is all fucked up, the plumbers are there now but they don’t have an estimated time, can I just shower at yours?”

And Shane, of course, says yes.

While in the shower, Hayden notices a bottle of shampoo specifically for curls. Hmm. Weird. Shane doesn’t have curly hair.

And then there’s a bottle of what Hayden assumes is aftershave on the sink counter, but it’s in Russian so he doesn’t know for sure, smells good tho. 🤷🏻‍♀️

But he’s curious so he’s gotta ask. “Hey dude, why you got curl shampoo and Russian aftershave in there?”

And Shane chokes on his smoothie, but bounces back quickly.

“I like the way the shampoo smells, and the aftershave is the only one I found that doesn’t irritate my skin.”

Simple. Believable.

And Hayden, the himbo that he is, shrugs and accepts the answer and thanks Shane for the shower and leaves all nonchalant while Shane is having the freak out of his fucking life in his kitchen.

Texting Ilya like “stop leaving your shit here, Hayden saw your shampoo and was asking questions.”

And Ilya, cool as a cucumber, responds “you like to smell my shampoo in shower, gets you hard for me.”

And Shane, well……..

He microdoses Ilya’s pheromones when they’re apart by smelling his shampoo and aftershave and he actually stole them from Ilya last time he was there for that specific reason.

But he’s not gonna tell Ilya that.

[barbie-verse]

thinking hudson williams is hot is the most embarrassing reputation ruining annoying thing I could have done tbh like ohhh my god really? tall big muscles golden skin pretty hair and big brown bottom eyes kind man is hot? god fucking really. are you fucking stupid I hate myself. oh you think shane hollander is hot? fucking shane hollander? groundbreaking type shit going on here oh my god he’s tall should we tell everyone he’s tall and he's kind to people and his eyes twinkle wow she thinks the attractive man is attractive. you and everyone else. is pizza your favorite food too. fuck you. everyone look at her she thinks SHANE HOLLANDER is hot boundaries are really being pushed over here should we get her a medal because she thinks Mr Smile is easy on the eyes. “hear me out” and it’s a fucking marching band. should we call people magazine. vanilla. I DISGUST myself. summer blockbuster. I should be killed

(insp)

[extraaa-30]

[arowitharrows]

The duality of "If you even imply that being aro or ace condemns someone to a sad and lonely life I will fucking fight you"

and

"being aro and ace is the most isolating thing I will ever experience"

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

i think the tags are important

[chachi-baby]

I like to imagine Rose’s brothers gave her shit for not sticking it out with Shane Hollander long enough for him to meet the family then when they find out it’s because Shane is gay they give her shit for not passing him along to one of them and she’s like??? you’re not gay??? to which they’re like !!!! everyone’s gay for Shane Hollander, Ilya Rozanov ain’t special

[shaneposting]

ilya: you did not say goodbye this morning 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

shane: Yes I did. You just don’t remember. You were asleep, I woke you up to say goodbye

ilya: there is no proof of this

shane: And I knew you’d say that, so I recorded it. [video of shane saying bye and kissing ilya, who is asleep, followed by ilya briefly cracking his eyes open and mumbling ‘byeshane’ then resuming snoring]

ilya: this is deepfake. AI is bad for the environment. shame on you

ilya: first you do not say goodbye. now you destroy the forests. shane hollander is an asshole

ilya: shane

ilya: now you ignore me

ilya: shaaaaaaaannnnneeeee

shane: I’VE BEEN OUT FOR FIFTEEN MINUTES AND I WILL BE HOME IN TEN MORE

ilya: :)

[e-rosieposie]

i feel like after hollanov goes public they absolutely get asked who bottoms, and while shane has a perfectly professional “that is a deeply personal question and i would prefer my relationship not be boiled down to cheap stereotypes” statement prepared (if he even dignifies them with a response), ilya just says shit like “is me, i am bottom, love to get dicked down by hollander, what you don’t think big tough russian can take it like a man?” and nobody quite knows if he’s kidding or not

[hamrikaa]

PSU Foxes 🥍

[rylandsgrace]

[ilya-sweetheart]

jackie thinking she’s finally found the one “my friend sally does mummy & me yoga, she’s very into fitness, she’s kind and also vegan!”

shane, head over heels in love with a crass, cigarette smoking, reckless ducati driving russian “oh, i’m not really looking to date right now, sorry.”

(please send your love to jackie and hayden when they eventually find out about ilya after ten years of trying to set shane up with “really nice girls”)