chachi baby

I don’t know how I got here

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Being an adult will have you unironically craving a vegetable

[gaygoatshane]

#NEEDTHAT

[ilyannarozanova]

This may be a dangerously hot take in this fandom but I don't really see Shane and Ilya as having a dom/sub relationship, although when they're in a more stable place they could play with it for sure. The Vegas sex scene happened because Ilya got scared by how much he wanted to be soft and loving with Shane, not because he wanted to make Shane submit. And we all saw how miserable they both were after that. Yes, Ilya likes telling Shane what to do because Shane likes taking directions during sex, and Ilya likes making Shane comfortable and happy. But to me it reads more like Shane wanting to know he's doing it Right And Good the same way he loves being Right And Good at hockey. He likes sex and he wants to be the best at it. He is getting a good grade in sex, something that is normal to want and possible to achieve,,

[gaynehollander]

At some point after the cottage but before the public outing TMZ does an article on “Ilya Rozanov’s most high-profile hookups” which is essentially just a list of Instagram models with paparazzi shots and blurry cellphone pics of Ilya at the club. Shane scrolls through it, absolutely seething, because he is Ilya’s most high-profile hookup - maybe not by their metric, which seems to be Instagram followers, but Shane hasn’t heard about a single one of these women, apart from Svetlana whom he wouldn’t have recognised if not for Ilya talking about her. The guys are talking about it in the locker room, as if Ilya’s a legend for getting with all of these supposedly very desirable women (although that is decidedly not the way the guys phrase it) and Shane is absolutely furious because he can’t tell anyone that none of these women got to keep him. He is the only one who’s gotten to call Ilya his. He is the only person Ilya’s been in love with.

Anyway, after the next Boston/Montreal game Ilya shows up to practice genuinely looking like he’s been mauled. His entire body is covered in hickeys and bruises that look suspiciously like bite marks - his neck is basically covered in purpling marks with a fair few centred on his chest but a couple of the bruises trail further down, one on his pubic bone, a couple on his thighs, and the darkest one on his hip, a large circle of clear teeth marks - not only that but his back has been practically scratched to ribbons. Ilya is basically a walking sign spelling out “TAKEN - BACK OFF” and when the gossip of Ilya Rozanov apparently having been locked down by a wild animal reaches the Montreal locker room Shane can’t help the proud little smile that blooms on his face because, yes, that’s his man.

[shanyshko]

i don't think i'm a good poster because i don't have creativity and drive. what i do have are completely inane insights. for example ilya rozanov type of guy to buy a panini press and insist it is a worthy purchase and use it every day for two weeks and then forget about it until shane is going through the pantry and asks him to get rid of it and ilya says NO hollander i use this all the time.

[chachi-baby]

As someone who is very similar in personality to Ilya and owns a panini press I can confirm this to be accurate. I use mine for 3 weeks straight once a year yet claim to use it constantly anytime someone suggests it doesn’t need to be so front and center in my pantry.

[shanesloverboy]

Defending Hudcon on the internet isn't enough I need a gun

[keasusreevsus]

Not to repeat myself

[chachi-baby]

Obsessed with the fact that Shane spends so much time patting himself on the back for pulling a 10/10, hottest man alive, he doesn’t ask me to eat his ass enough maybe I should just start doing it more so he doesn’t leave me for someone better while literally everyone else is like how did this 6 pull a 12 and Ilya’s just like idk but I hope it’s something unfixable like brain damage so he never realizes.

[mymansmoon]

shane's face after ilya picks him up my god he's so turned on. this guy is 200lbs of pure muscle he follows a diet other professional athletes have never even heard of and spends half his life in the gym, the other half muscling big strong hockey players out the way to get to a puck. and ilya just lifted him right off the ground and is ferrying him over to the bed where he Is Going To Fuck Him. my sweet steaming-engine-brain shane has never blanked so hard in his life. he's barely a person in this moment he is just Hormone

[yearnalisms]

yall ever think about shane watching ilya win his first cup and going through the full spectrum of emotions and then remember that he's gonna marry ilya in that same living room next season

[sinmonger]

Hollanov + tweets (part 2)

[thevulturesquadron]

text: [ “Some of you have forgotten that only three years ago you were perfectly capable of writing an essay, writing a eulogy, telling a bedtime story to a child, and it should worry you that powerful companies have convinced us we can’t do things we’ve been doing for 5000 years.” ]

[jackkdaniels]

when i was a kid i decided that killing people was bad therefore war was bad therefore the military was evil. and adults would tell me it's more nuanced than that and i would understand when i grew up. well i'm a grown up now and idk i still think that killing people is bad and war is bad and the military is evil

[boomer-mythology-destroyer]

[urie]

i looooooooove how annoying shane and ilya must be as the two best hockey players in the world just both of them being able to see the game at such an elite level and notice things no one else does and theyre basically speaking their own language to one another and saying things like "i dont even count a hat trick if its on an empty net if the goalie isnt there its NOT a real goal i think they should not count these" "absolutely if theres no challenge it isnt real" "exactlyyyyy" and they will say things like this in front of players who have Zero career hat tricks

[urie]

hayden is struggling in the postseason and says its bc he is "playing with a broken rib" and privately shane is thinking "okay but just one though jesus christ" and ilya is texting him like "is pike playing on severed legs" "broken rib" "ok???? just one????" and shane is like wow thank god finally someone who gets it

[aqueerkettleofish]

For those who have missed it, a tourist in Hawaii decided it would be fun to chuck a rock (a BIG rock) at a monk seal. He missed, but he was captured on video, and when told it was illegal to interfere with them, said "I'm rich, I can pay the fine."

Is the best part that he got doxxed? No.

Is the best part that he got tracked down by a local and beaten? No.

Arrested on state at federal charges, looking at up to 5 years and 50K? Nope.

The best part is the local city council's reaction.

And the best part of that is the look on the attorney's face.

[vamptits]

I can't keep having the same conversations about love languages, mbti, iq, bmi, "brain fully formed at 25" and shit over and over again...

[vamptits]

these things exist on a spectrum from untrue to straightforwardly racist btw. so if we could retire them forever that'd be nice.

[hareofhrair]

“Love Languages” are just common couples therapy techniques mangled and repackaged by an unqualified homophobe. Relationships generally need all 5 love languages to be fulfilled, which is to say, everybody needs to communicate with, spend time with, and do things for their partners, and that’s got nothing to do with any special way you communicate affection.

MBTI has been proven completely ineffective at predicting anyone’s success at a particular job, and half the people who take it twice will get different results. Reputable psychologists do not recognize it, and the company that owns the rights to it uses it to scam people. People don’t adhere to strict binaries in basically anything. Very few people are going to be exclusively introverted or extroverted. It’s just astrology repackaged as pseudoscience. Shockingly enough, you can’t boil the complexity of the human experience down to a dozen Types of Guy.

The concept of IQ is flawed from the start— “intelligence” is an abstract concept that encompasses many different skills, from social intelligence to emotional intelligence to the very narrow kind of problem solving intelligence IQ tests generally measure for. It cannot predict how fast you learn, how much you know, or how logical and well read you are. It mostly measures how good you are at solving puzzles. Coincidentally, it’s also a pretty good predictor of income and education level, take a guess why. Most people’s IQ will change throughout their lives, because it’s inconsistent bullshit we’ve only held onto this long because we’re still kinda hoping we can breed the ubermensch. IQ tests and the way they attempt to categorize people are explicitly eugenicist and racist.

BMI was developed by a man known as the grandfather of eugenics, who first of all was a mathematician, not a doctor, and second never intended the formula to be used to categorize individuals. It’s intended to give a rough estimate of obesity in populations, and it’s not even good at that. It hangs around because of fatphobia and insurance companies who want it as an excuse to charge fat people more.

The study which determined people’s prefrontal cortex was still developing at 25… stopped measuring at 25. Evidence suggests your brain probably never stops developing. Stop infantilizing grown adults. This is a branch off from the larger mess of misinformation surrounding fMRIs.

If you haven’t put together what all these things have in common yet, here’s the moral of the story: STOP TRYING TO CATEGORIZE PEOPLE. STOP TRYING TO PUT PEOPLE IN A GODDAMN BIOLOGICAL HIERARCHY. EUGENICS IS BAD, AND WILL ALWAYS BE BAD, NO MATTER WHO’S DOING IT.