[windynebula]

I'm gonna say something incredibly 30-year-old and I'm going to ask you to not judge me while I'm trying to be genuine and real. Okay? Here's my truth.

A piece of lettuce can really elevate a sandwich. The fresh crunch? Unrivaled. Peak. Poetic cinema.

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[killerqueenmp3]

[soulren]

Messing up my customer service hotline job and playing a gunshot sound effect over the phone then coming back with a slightly different accent

[bakwaaas]

the internet has made people feel like their personal opinion on every topic is valuable and important and holds equal weight to everyone else’s but the truth is some spaces aren’t for you and some things you just can’t relate to or understand and that’s okay. learn when to stay quiet instead of inserting yourself into conversations that are actually nothing to do with you

[lynnbecks-gaming-sideblog]

I've poisoned⁶ this post so it's⁶ taking constant⁶ damage⁶ over time, and⁶ I also turned on⁶ damage numbers.¹⁴ Ooh, that one was⁶ a critical!

[gaynfl-moved]

just heard a coworker say "I know this thing wouldn't even work for Jesus" about her printer

[gaynfl-moved]

heard three people say "amen" in response

[lmaonade]

hi guys i not even tired at all :) *slips on a banana’s peel and slides directly into my bed under the blankets and

[teaboot]

dear god the comfy got them

[harlequincy]

Made this in honor of my girlfriend, who finally played iwatex and managed to romance Nem on her first run

(quote from this video)

[dragon-in-a-fez]

accidentally said "invasive thoughts" instead of "intrusive thoughts" today and actually I think I'm onto something. this thought does not belong here and it is harming the local ecosystem

[woman-becomer]

probiotic drinks are so funny. we put a billion guys in here

[cordic]

we gave your drink an infection

[kosmogrl]

once I crawl out of this stupid hole i’ll be unstoppable, you’ll see

[dark-magician-girl-meets-world]

Every morning, I put on my thinking cap and my smartiepants. Unfortunately, there is no shirt that properly proclaims my intellectual abilities, so I have to go tits out

[papayajuan2019]

paper and pen seems so powerful now. on account of all the. surveillance

[pipshinwhatever]

(said completely devoid of context) you know how it is

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[ciqqy]

I will lock in tomorrow like nobody has ever locked in before

[ciqqy]