hello yes i am professional trash nerd

n e r v o u s

[punkitt-is-here]

[cykelops]

the platelets in my body when I rip off the fresh scab they just spent hours working on

[toolusingmammalgirl]

The Four Sacred Artistic Motives:

-what if this bad thing was good instead

-how about Make-Believe Land can have whatever I want

-would that be fucked up or what

-I think that shit's hot

[joeyclaire]

steven is a really funny character actually. he never went to school. one of his powers is astral projection for no real reason. hes a musical prodigy. he was so traumatized by the end of the show they had to make an entire epilogue series about it. he spent seven years looking like a 3rd grader. he was even bisexual

[joeyclaire]

he went to the center of the earth. he saved the world in flip flops. he broke his bones every day and didnt even notice. he killed someone

[pawpels]

he didn’t have a bellybutton. he actively chose to eat super crispy bits of potato that got left in the deep fryer. he lived in a house but his dad lived in a car within walking distance of his house. he could revive people from the dead. all of his clothes were concert merchandise. he had an outdoor washing machine. he was put on trial for murder. he broke both federal and state child labor laws

[imhereformysciencefriends]

The murder he was on trial for was different than the murder he committed

[hedronalignment]

The murder he went on trial for was a murder his mom committed. The victim of the murder was also his mom.

[joeyclaire]

he plead guilty

[what-even-is-thiss]

For most of my life I just shot awake when I woke up and could never get back to sleep once I woke up but since I’ve gone on antidepressants for my anxiety I’ve started waking up more gradually and can go back to sleep if I wake up in the middle of the night.

Anyways I told my dad about this recently and he was like “well it sounds like you’re not constantly in a panic anymore so that sounds like a good thing” and the idea that my anxiety disorders was what had gotten me to wake up so quickly had just never occurred to me tbh

[tiktoksthataregood-ish]

[casuallyodd]

Both of these tags are right. I love when a cat will just put up with your silly human games. They love you and know you love them and are just happy with you.

[appendingfic]

"cats are incapable of love" cats understand affectionate bothering, something it takes years-long relationships to develop between humans

[hotvampireadjacent]

[pyrogina]

im fuckin crine he DID IT!!!! 😭

[patrickbatemanamericanpsycho]

i feel like courage the cowardly dog

[webginz]

[threedollarsdotcom]

this is the fifth fucking geode ive crakced open whys its all meat

[low-polly]

my liege those are crab rangoons

[landmineblogging]

i melted some cheese on rice for dinner this evening and while eating it i started thinking "this is like macaroni and cheese but with rice instead of macaroni". a minute later i said "rice and cheese" out loud to myself. a few seconds after that i heard a deep, ethereal sigh that sounded like it came from a twelve thousand foot woman studying me in my apartment from up above, as if i were some manner of lab rat in a doll house that just disappointed her. i am sorry really big science lady in space

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

[landmineblogging]

tonight i'm having a shot glass of chicken stock and several almonds

[landmineblogging]

i don't have a shot glass so i substituted an empty jar of welch's dragon tales themed strawberry jam. i also dont have almonds so i substituted some organic, free range tums

[replicant-wizard]

[landmineblogging]

my childhood being vintage makes me want to stress vomit and die of lead poisoning

[thestorieswesay]

but op that's why you ate the tums

[fairycosmos]

your aversion to anything earnest or sincere has affected us in the following ways 1. youre annoyinggggggg

[feamir]

[souplover13]

image: tags. #my husband was doing a ride-along with a coworker the other day #and he pointed out a cat and said 'kitty!' and the girl was like 'don't do that in front of women they'll think you're gay' #and he was like '1: what the fuck. 2: my wife likes that im gay'. end ID.

[crypticferal]

[catasters]

[dragongirl-casca]

how to identitfy Those Feratu:

do this

[reachperfection]

[gigglybumbug]

randomly getting intensely interested in some bullshit like

[partywithponies]

My woke take, as someone who has worked in both a public library and a school library, is that we desperately need both more books that are at a higher reading level but a less mature subject matter, and more books that are at a lower reading level but a more mature subject matter, because 8 year olds who are advanced readers are still 8 year olds and don't want to read about graphic violence and torture, and teens and adults who have learning difficulties or who are just later readers for whatever reason are still teens and adults and don't want to read about Billy the Bunny going to school or whatever the hell.