okay but it just hit me how good of a friend sam really is
Like, he keeps on texting bucky even if he doesn’t text him back. And he doesn’t hold it against him when bucky shows up at the airport, despite the first thing that bucky says to him is “shouldn’t have given up that shield”
all he says back is “good to see you too, buck” and it’s sarcastic and tired but it has no real bite to it. he follows with an “i’m working, okay? all this outrage is gonna have to wait” and you can tell he also feels hurt and betrayed that the shield has been given to someone else, that he regrets trusting the museum with it, but what’s he gonna do? no use crying over spilled milk, so he swallows down the anger and stress keeps on working
bucky, deep down, probably does know it’s not sam’s fault, but he’s angry so he keeps being pushy and trying to start an argument. if sam didn’t try to lighten up his mood and joke his way around the issue, i’m pretty sure they would’ve gotten just that and that it would be a pretty angsty, hurtful one
but sam shuts it down real fast. not in a mean way, but in a way that lets bucky know that, even if he understands and sympathizes with the reason why he’s hurt, he won’t let him overstep or be rude. that he has no right to talk to him like that, especially because the situation also hurts him. and then he says that he’s busy with more important things right now.
and right after, when bucky asks him “what could be bigger than this?” he simply,, pulls out his phone and tells him. Just like that. he could’ve been petty and turn his back on bucky, especially after he ignored his texts for so long, but he doesn’t. he pulls out his phone and he tells him what the mission’s about.and then he jokes, again. And they do start bickering, but it’s playful and fun and he’s lighten up the mood enough that they won’t be at each other’s throats any time soon. he tells bucky he’s not coming with him, but he lets him come with him anyway
and it would’ve been so much easier to simply fight. like, damn, it’s really hard not to argue back when someone’s provoking you, especially when you’re already stressed. but he doesn’t, because he does care about bucky and he doesn’t want them to resent each other. he jokes and smiles despite bucky being moody or keeping a straight face, pushing his buttons and teasing him “look at you, all stealthy. a little time in wakanda and you come out white panther”, but he does tell bucky off and stands his ground when he thinks bucky’s being unreasonable (by telling him to wait before attacking, by accepting john walker’s ride, by calmy expressing his own feelings and reasoning and then stepping outside when bucky snaps at him during therapy, etc)
he has every reason to be stressed and snap back at bucky, but he doesn’t. maybe it could be argued it’s simply because he doesn’t have the time to start a fight, but even when they have their ass kicked by the super soldiers and they have more time together, he doesn’t snap or raises his voice. in fact, correct me if i’m wrong, but the only time he raises his voice is when he finds out about isaiah and i could almost say that doesn’t count because he wasn’t angry at bucky (or at least, not entirely at bucky) but mostly because it was just another proof that he was right in believing that giving the shield away was his best option.
(well, the only time he raises his voice and he’s arrested so maybe that’s part of the reason he’s so good at well,, not doing that.)
(but i’m probably not the right person to talk about that part)
and it’s not that it doesn’t affect him. it’s not that he simply doesn’t care about what bucky says. he’s just,, genuinely trying to be patient and a good friend to him because he probably knows bucky needs that. and he keeps calm even after hearing something as painful as “maybe our dead friend was wrong in believing in you”
(well, in bucky’s defense, he was just trying to do what his therapist told him to: be honest to why sam aggravates him. truth is: doesn’t make it any less hurtful and bucky knows this, hence asking about rule number two)
But he doesn’t say anything unkind back, he simply asks “you finished?” and then he explains that maybe him and steve would never understand, but he just did what he thought was right. like, the “worst” thing he says is that, when their mission is done, they can simply go their ways and never see each other again and even that is completely justified.
he can’t keep trying to make things light if bucky won’t try to understand his side, so he just,, gives up. not in a mean way, not to make bucky feel bad, but because he’s tired
and, instead of hearing something among the lines of “no, that’s not what i want, i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it that way” he gets an “i’d like that”
“i’d like that.” that probably just hurt him more. so he just,, gets up and goes away
(listen, i get bucky is just sabotaging their relationship bc of his own issues, that doesn’t mean his actions and words don’t sting)
sam is hurt, they both know that, but he still doesn’t hold it against bucky. even after that talk, he still talks to bucky the same way he did before. he even protects him from getting into a fight with john walker by de-escalating the situation.
this already got way too big, my point is just,, god i love sam wilson so much??? and he deserves so much better?? even when he’s hurt he’s such a good friend and he deserves to be appreciated for it. i hope him and bucky get to sit down and talk about their feelings in a much less hostile way. that they can understand each other. that bucky lets him in because honestly anyone’s who has a friend like sam wilson is lucky.
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
germansingergirl
areudirty
yousharknotpass
jacobvanloon
izzy806
andulkaphoto
