wawawawawa

Hi! My name is Emily and I'm doing okay | trans lesbian | she/her | | #blog info #TauPhiTalks | discord.gg/mS8kZYW ❤

[mourningstarink]

shirt available here

[cathpalugs]

butch miku

[clawheld]

[thebelfry]

I just learned that the Russian word for “ladybug” translates to “God’s Little Cow”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

It’s the same in Irish! bóín Dé!

[peniswizard69]

in hebrew it’s “our rabbi moses’s cow”

[vampireapologist-archive-deacti]

Oh I love this news!!!!

[pulmonary-poultry]

Multiple cultures upon seeing a ladybug for the first time: “Who’s cow is this????”

[samanthamulder]

[lakecountylibrary]

ID: 9 vintage buttons which read, respectively: Happy Go Library. It’s a library issue, it’s a civil rights issue. Ask me about library careers. You have the right to read. Libraries to the people. Love my library. Libraries are something else. Librarians are lovable. And lastly a bird with two puppets saying You could plan a trip, borrow a classic film, stay in shape, get fast answers, take record albums home, attend a concert, see a puppet show… at the library? At the library.

End ID

[torigatonda]

お魚ーーー！

[skippiefritz]

m/f relationship in an unmistakably bi way

[bearie]

kittens conversation:

hey we are all really small do you want to sleep in a pile

other kittens: yeah

[bumblebeebats]

Tried out some nightvale quotes in Neuralblender and wow, that neural sure can blend

[mioxenoblade]

I made this when I was high and its been in my drafts for a week or two

[k-eke]

Meet my …… kids.

[trans-diamond-axe]

my observations regarding the recent mob vote

[moldyhay]

Seasonal Glare for your consideration

[how2bake]

demon gf that insists on making pacts for every little thing

[how2bake]

"i will do the dishes... for a price (kissies)"

[rowark]

Once, when I was a kid, the Queen came to Canada (well, more than once, but I'm thinking of a specific visit lol), and it was on TV all the time, and everytime she talked she'd start with, "Prince Philip and I..."

And my brother and I started saying that all the time, in a specific weird high pitched voice, with a British accent, and we'd drag out the "I" unnecessarily... like, if I was going to say, "I'm going to ride my bike" I'd be like, "Prince Philip and IIIIIII... am going to ride my bike."

It was a short lived thing, but still, to this day, I cannot hear "Prince Philip" and not have the urge to say it 🤣🤣

[keroascrazy]

Omg i love this, it makes me think of the time my mother in law, who was looking for any excuse to label me as disabled to collect a check, looked at me one day and said "I think you have jaundice."

My then boyfriend and his younger brother both lost their minds over it while I just sat at the dinner table confused. Sure, im always pale but, jaundiced?? This woman used to be a registered nurse!

Anyway, from that point on, the younger brother at random, anytime the in-law said something dumb (which was often) would reply with "Kero I think you have JAUNDICE."

The entire phrase was spoken mockingly but the emphasis on the word 'jaundice' always had so much venom and rasp to it. It became a household meme, and to this day, some 10 years later, I have an impulsive laugh whenever I hear the term 'jaundice' and MUST reply with that phrase.

.... its led to a few awkward explanations.

[rowark]

It's funny the random things that become catchphrases for no reason lol

A few years ago, I went to Florida with my friends, and we went to Universal, and we were waiting in line for a ride and there was a mother and child behind us, and the kid was getting more and more nervous as we got closer to the front, and he was giving all these random reasons they should get out of the line... they also happened to be British, and when we were almost to the front, the kid suddenly tells his mom he has to poop and if they go on the ride, he'll poop his pants. The mom was like, "I asked you before we got in line if you needed the bathroom and you said no" and the kids goes, "I didn't have to go then, but I have to go now. It's how the body works!" But he said the last part so emphatically, in this British accent, and it was all I could do to not burst out laughing... I think they got out of the line (I can't remember), but my friends and I still always say, "it's how the body works!" In a British accent 🤣

I have a little collection of phrases I've picked up like that... I almost forget that they aren't real expressions until I say it around someone who doesn't get the reference and I'm like... oh yeah... I'm just continuously mocking a kid I saw once 🤣🤣

[marzipanandminutiae]

When my parents were driving me up to college after summer break, for my last year, we stopped at a Friendly’s for lunch. Mom started in on me about my post-school career plans. Rather desperate to change the subject, I looked at the little dish of individually-packaged jams and said, “Oh look! Apple butter! Mom, didn’t Great-Aunt Marjorie used to make really good apple butter?”

I thought it was a smooth conversational transition. It was not.

Both my parents burst out laughing, and now “Oh look! Apple butter!” is code for “let’s change the subject” in my family.

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: One man’s common sense is another mans backwards indoctrination. One of them is usually correct.

Taurus: Feeling overwhelmed? Try outsourcing some of your tasks to the small army of Richard Nixon clones in your basement.

Gemini: You’re about to be the Michael Jordan of being torn apart by harpies.

Cancer: Take a quick jaunt to the astral plane to subliminally influence your boss, and that promotion is yours.

Leo: Unfortunately, you’ve misheard. They said “Janal“ as in “of or pertaining to Janus, the roman god of doorways and thresholds.“

Virgo: You will be one of the poor souls to drown in the fourth wave of ska.

Libra: Why don’t you calm down and listen to the iconic soundtrack for the 2000 film “O Brother, Where Art Thou?“

Scorpio: Rage is but a vessel for a deeper discontent.

Ophiuchus: If two paths diverge in a yellow wood you should drop to your knees and pray for mercy.

Sagittarius: On this day a flaxen-haired maiden shall grace thy countenance and spin kick you in the jaw.

Capricorn: The Night asks a question: What is owed?

Aquarius: You are now named after the protagonist of the last horror movie you’ve watched. This is mandatory.

Pisces: A self care tip from the stars: Drinking an entire bottle of ketchup will make your stomach hurt and your day worse.

[catcrumb]