discipline yokes the human body to time

he/they, mid-20s, no under-18s pls. You can find me on ao3 as ouro_boros, and if you wanna shoot me a tip for all my exquisite work, I've got a ko-fi here!

[oury-boros]

if you have never said "mairzy doats and dozy doats and liddle lamzy divey" aloud, i cannot recommend it enough

[dogpuppy]

[hotvampireadjacent]

This would be a place of worship if I bought it

[garaks-padded-bra]

Ds9 s7 rewrite where the dax symbiont doesnt show signs of dying after being removed from jadzia so they just keep the worm around as a pet. Julian walks around with it in a satchel and feeds it silk cut purple 100s. When sisko is unavailable it still captains the defiant btw. Sits on the captains chair and everything. SOPPING wet

[garaks-padded-bra]

[ruleofacquisition420]

@garaks-padded-cell

[dib]

i ca;nt bleiev clowns r real.;;; wha tthe fuck….

[zim]

DID YOU JUST DISCOVER MIRRORS?

[dib]

SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[novembermorgon]

[electricheart]

a little reminder! by annalaura_art

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve received complaints from anonymous employees that our support of the “homosexual lifestyle” is “degenerate” and “irresponsible”. It really got me thinking and I think I found a solution. So good news! We now have 23 vacated positions reserved for members of the LGBT community. Additional good news, we began a new testing initiative on evolutionary degenration with 23 test subjects all ready to go.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. If you’re experiencing a time loop in which you’re repeating the month of June over and over, that’s totally intentional. We at Aperture Science felt that pride month was not long enough and so we created this loop to let employees experience as much pride as they feel like. To get out of this loop, simply use the pod labeled “Time Machine” in Shaft 6 and then either kill or save the baby on the other end depending on when in the loop you’re on. Don’t worry about the baby’s identity, he grows up to be an asshole.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, happy to announce that our Rainbow Gel project was a massive success. We have developed distinct gels in every color of the rainbow pride flag. In fact, it was too much of a success, so we’ll be updating our pride flag accordingly to include 75 new colors corresponding to all of our new gels. Word of advice, though, don’t stare at the flag for too long, most of these colors haven’t been tested on human eyes yet.”

[charlesoberonn]

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here, Cave Johnson queer. Get used to it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Caroline just informed me that I am her “beard”. I checked, and I fail to see how I could possibly have grown out of her face. If anybody knows anything about human-to-facial hair transmogrification, please report to my office.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Friendly reminder that Aperture employees living prior to the legalization of gay marriage are invited to use our Aperture Science Temporal Matrimony Pod in order to travel to the future with your same-sex partner and get married there. Employees from the future who wish to return to a time before gay people being able to marry are also welcome to use the pod and we’ll make sure to send you to an era well before gay marriage. I’m thinking maybe Late Cretacesous.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m proud to announce that our plan to hire only female test subjects to prevent them from flirting with our female scientists has been a resounding failure.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’m afraid we’ll have to temporarily pause all experimentation with the Gender Affirmation Beam. The testing itself is going great, the beam is working. But we’re starting to run out of thigh high socks and khaki shorts.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johson here. Shafts 10 through 14 are currently under lockdown due to a meltdown in the Neopronoun Syntheizer. The transphobes up in DC might call that ‘a disaster in the making’ but I call it a win for diversity! That being said most of these pronouns are radioactive so do watch out.”

[charlesoberonn]

Cave Johnson here. If you feel a sudden sense of elation and contentness when putting on your new Aperture Science unisex uniform, that is not Gender Euphoria! That’s a hallucinogenic fungus taking over your brain. Take the uniform off immediately and throw it in the nearest incinerator.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I won’t tolerate any misgendering of the interdimensional invaders swarming the facility! Their pronouns are they/them and we’re ought to respect that. We’re also ought to shoot them on sight since they’re extremely hostile and bent on enslaving our planet.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all of my suitors and secret admirers: Thank you, honestly I’m flattered. Unfortunately for you, I don’t swing that way. Or any way. I only swing where the wrecking ball of science takes me. Usually into a brick wall.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’ve been thinking. We have gay pride, and we have gender envy. What other deadly sins can we incorporate? Maybe bisexual sloth? Lesbian wrath? I’ll talk to the lab boys about it.”

“Cave Johnson here. Update: The Lesbian Wrath project is postponed indefinitely. My condolences to the families of the deceased. Though let’s be honest, they probably had it coming.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. For the last time! “I’m reclaiming the slur” is not a valid excuse to shout out loud the killer androids’ activation codes! We picked that word for a reason.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. I’d like to apologize to Floor 194 Safety Supervisor Doug Blakely for firing him after allegations that he was forcing employees back in the closet. I was not aware that said closet was a literal storage closet for zombified Aperture employees. To make it up to Doug, he’ll be allowed to feed Floor 194 HR Manager Lisa Briant to the closet zombies if he so chooses.”

[charlesoberonn]

”Cave Johnson here. A reminder that next year Transgender Day of Visibility falls on Extradimensional Day of Visibility. The lab boys are cautioning me to caution you to be prepared. Do not confuse transgender and transdimensional! Big mistake.“

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To all cishet Aperture employees who volunteered for the ‘Get More Woke’ program, please report to your department’s OR at the nearest convenience to get the alarm clocks surgically removed from your spinal cord. Aperture Science apologizes for the misunderstanding.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Dr. Barnaby from Cyborg Engineering is an attack helicopter. That’s not a transphobic joke, by the way, they literally transformed themselves into an amalgam of human and helicopter. Impressive. Unauthorized, of course, but still impressive. Anyway, we lost track of them, so everyone watch the sky for a mad scientist with blue rotors and machine guns.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. To the joker who added ‘make the sun gay’ to our quarterly agenda, I hope you’re pleased with yourself. The Astrophysics Department is tearing itself apart with half of them shouting that you can’t make the sun gay and the other half screaming that the sun is already gay. Either way, we’re not doing it.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. The congressional delegation of Senator Patrick Johnson (no relation) to inspect our facilities had to be cut short due to a mishap with the Gender Affirmation Beam. I’d like to apologize on behalf of Aperture Science to Senator Johnson and her staff.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Just the other day, our sign guy asked me ‘Cave, don’t you think LGBTQIA2S+ is a tad too long?’ and I told him ‘First of all, that’s Mr. Johnson to you! And secondly, I actually think it’s not long enough!’ and that’s why I’m adding an ’&’ to the acronym. Don’t know what it stands for yet, but I’ll figure it out.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. You already know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about gender affirming care. We’ve been at the forefront of hormone replacement therapy since before we knew what these hormones do. You also know that here in Aperture Science we’re all about not getting sued. So everyone be quiet about our role in the Estrogen Cola disaster.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. So far, we received 832 submissions to our Homophobia Remover design competition. Unfortunately, 829 had to be disqualified for being a schematic of a gun. Objectively hilarious, but not what we’re looking for. Wait, the lab boys just got another submission: and… it’s another gun. Keep at it, folks.”

[charlesoberonn]

“Cave Johnson here. Using a set of genetically identical triplets and a molecular combinizer, we just proved scientifically that being bisexual isn’t the same as being half-straight and half-gay. Now we just need to figure out how to separate Craigstopher back into his component brothers.”

[crazygnomenclature]

Fortnight (pt. 1-7)

Best friends forever, including retroactively

More Tiff & Eve: My Site | Webtoon

Support on Patreon | Ko-fi

Or subscribe to the  Sunday Comix Collective newsletter

[skifflestar]

Good morning, Phineas and Ferb fandom! I’m new here and I look forward to the next 104 days with this community #[ ]">

Enjoy my Stacy and Perry texting comic and have an awesome weekend ☀️

[mar64ds]

the besties

[obsoletefriends]

pogo stick. wheee. this friday.

[the-web-wanderer]

I love obsolete friends everyone go watch it nowwww!!! (If you want to ofc

(^^ reference screenshot for the drawing btw)

[eldragon-x]

I have to imagine this is how Vents knows about so much going on in the secret lab

[the-meme-monarch]

another banger imo. recognition of the self in the other (derogatory) the game

art ref under the cut

i did trace the staircase (flipped and stretched(google said it was under creative commons liscense so i assume it’s fine(I’m not making money off this art Anyway so it should also be fine))). i was not about to try drawing it from scratch . i was actually thinking of using just the straight photo but i couldn’t get it how i wanted. very hard to find pictures Of spiral staircases that have that many spirals or at this sort of angle

[the-big-mood]

30 years ago today, Principal Skinner purchased fast food to disguise as his own cooking at an unforgettable luncheon with Superintendent Chalmers.

The Simpsons episode “22 Short Films About Springfield” first aired April 14, 1996.

[fanonical]

the difference between cave johnson and glados is that cave doesn't understand being lgbt+ but makes aperture do pride events because he's heard that pandering gets money, while glados is a lesbian but hates herself and also chell so she's circled around to being ironically homophobic

[lesbianbettyboop]

not to sound like a crazy sjw but parents putting little girls in frilly dresses/lavish clothes and telling them not to run, climb, play in dirt, etc lest they ruin their outfits or somebody look up their skirts is one of the most direct ways we as a society teach girls that they are only ornamental and cut their childhoods short

[emeraldburn]

This is excellent but I would like to add: schools with uniforms for the kids usually require girls to wear dresses/skirts.  So not only are kids getting that sort of message from their homes, they’re also learning it at an institutionalized level at school.

[lesbianbettyboop]

thank you fantastic addition!!