[taypalmer]

Picking just ten photos to share was impossible. I can’t even begin to explain what this day meant to me. So here’s some photos to convey the utter happiness I felt, and am still feeling, knowing that Ed is my husband. Thank you immensely @capturethemoment_weddings 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/BoSS8iIlMNrrPzfqUhxhmufzk_sFtvosHFJFN80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=jjz64ds1xpew

[taypalmer]

Picking just ten photos to share was impossible. I can’t even begin to explain what this day meant to me. So here’s some photos to convey the utter happiness I felt, and am still feeling, knowing that Ed is my husband. Thank you immensely @capturethemoment_weddings 💕 https://www.instagram.com/p/BoSS8iIlMNrrPzfqUhxhmufzk_sFtvosHFJFN80/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qbfvmcm0jt9z

[taypalmer]

I’ve moved over to the URL tjpalmer for those interested. Old tumblr, it’s been rad. 

[taypalmer]

I think I’m going to start a new tumblr

I’ve had this one since I was 15 and I just kind of want to “rebrand” my blog and make it more focused on who I am and just start fresh. Feeling a strong urge to start over. If I do I’ll post the new URL for all five of you that follow me 😂

[kontrazvedka-deactivated2019031]

Michael Brown was murdered by Darren Wilson 4 years ago today

[eastegg-deactivated20200528]

mentally i am living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere in the woods of oregon and it’s foggy and i am wearing a big sweater and baking banana bread

[taypalmer]

New hair, who this?

[butchbuckys]

i havent seen some of these in any of the vine compilations ive watched so uhhh. here’s my own. 

[ampervadasz]

[characterlimit]

*schlorp* OHOHOHO *shklump* AHAHAHA

[luxgalador]

I cannot stop watching this

[the-future-now-deactivated20170]

Study says you’re more likely to live if you have a female doctor

A new study from researchers at Harvard University found female doctors easily outshine their male counterparts in at least one critically important way: Fewer of their patients die.

After examining Medicare data tracking 1,583,028 hospitalizations, scientists determined patients of female physicians enjoyed “significantly lower mortality rates” and readmission rates, along with fewer ER visits.

According to the study, men and women’s vastly different approaches to practicing medicine likely account for the disparity. Read more

follow @the-future-now​

[sevensneakyfoxes]

Not shocked. 

Both my mother and I left our family doctor more than 10 years ago because of substandard care.  The doctor, a man, consistently ignored or belittled issues that my mother and I had, and in doing so, failed to diagnose a massive heart defect and two major diseases.

My mother and I moved to a female physician.  In the 10 years we’ve been with her, she’s diagnosed and successful treated everything this past doctor missed, and saved my life a few years ago by not ignoring symptoms of a major infection.  I’ve had to go to the hospital from her office a few times, and each time she’s called me from her home multiple times as late as midnight to see how I’m doing, what the doctors are saying, and to see if she can help/intervene as she has privileges at the hospital.

She fought with a very well known surgeon and specialist at the hospital after he discharged me (treating me like SHIT in the process and belittling the distress I was in).  This specialist - a guy, of course - told my family doctor that I was drug seeking and that my problem would pass.

My doctor knew that I wasn’t drug seeking because 1) I wasn’t asking for any pain meds and 2) I was only asking for them additional tests because the symptoms this specialist said would be getting better were worsening to a degree where I could no longer function.  Oh, and because PAIN MEDS DON’T WORK ON ME AND I CANNOT GET HIGH.

When I was later readmitted and rushed into emergency surgery (6 hours after he told my doctor I was drug seeking, AMAZING), he attempted to throw my family doctor under the bus to other hospital staff/my family because of his won fuck up.  Meanwhile, his bullshit had caused serious damage to one of my major organs, and I had to take leave from work because I was violently ill and needed additional surgery.  This specialist also failed to make any follow up appointments with me after the surgeries, and when my family doctor followed up with the surgical resident on call at the hospital during a subsequent visit with her (because of lingering problems), I could hear the guy on the other end of the line go silent… then tell her he couldn’t believe that this specialist hadn’t set up ANY aftercare following my surgeries.  Then tell her to refer me to another specialist immediately.

So yep.  I’m not surprised that female doctors are on whole better at keeping their patients alive.  I have two FANTASTIC doctors right now - one female, one male - and I’ve had shitty doctors of both genders, but on the whole, I’ve found that most male doctors I’ve dealt with are more likely to dismiss or belittle patient problems/complaints.

ESPECIALLY if that patient is a woman.

[duelstrike]

My bro had issues with sinus infections for years. When he was 16 my mom wasn’t able to take him in so my dad did instead. The diagnosis from the family doc went from brushing it off to diagnosing him with a broken nasal septum. Treatment for him suddenly increased like whoa-including eventual surgery plans to fix it. All because my dad went instead of my mom. 

I also totally understand that many docs and nurses get drug seekers and that drug seekers are a legitimate concern, but at the same time it’s amazing how many  start with assumptions along those lines, no matter what you are being seen for. Whenever I go in for anything, I can always, physically SEE when a new doc/nurse/med practitioner reads on my chart that I’m allergic to Oxycontin. No matter how subtle, no matter how nice and wonderful they were when they first met me, there is always a reaction to it. Like you can see them put away any kind of doubt that I might be drug seeking. 

[iopele]

I’ve been a nurse for over 16 years, I’ve worked with many male and female doctors both as an assistant and as a patient, and let me tell you this right fucking now:

GET. YOURSELF. A. FEMALE. DOCTOR.

this is 10,000% true. would you like to know what I’ve seen firsthand? female physicians LISTEN BETTER and they FOLLOW UP MORE AGGRESSIVELY than male doctors do, especially for their female patients. and if you’re a female patient, especially if you’re being seen for menstrual problems, migraines, or depression, female physicians don’t belittle your symptoms the way that male doctors so often do. (and honestly I’ve seen nurse practitioners [advanced practice nurses] and they are my ABSOLUTE FAVORITE in terms of proper patient care and bedside manner, so don’t shy away from NPs or APNs either! they can do damn near everything an MD or DO can!)

of course there are exceptions to every rule. in fact right now my primary care doctor is a man, because he’s amazing. but in my experience I’d say that about 75% of the time, a female doctor is going to care for you better than a male one, and if you had those kind of odds for anything else–75% chance that this car insurance company would pay out better than that car insurance company if your car was totaled, 75% chance that this restaurant is less likely to give you explosive burning diarrhea than that restaurant, etc–you’d sure as hell change. and here’s one last reminder:

IF YOUR DOCTOR SUCKS, IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO REQUEST A DIFFERENT ONE. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO HAVE A DOCTOR YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH. IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO SEEK A SECOND OPINION, OR A THIRD ONE, OR MORE, IF THAT’S WHAT IT TAKES TO GET PROPER CARE.

IT IS YOUR RIGHT TO SEE A DOCTOR WHO TREATS YOU AS A HUMAN BEING AND TAKES YOUR SYMPTOMS SERIOUSLY.

[spoonie-living]

See also: toxic masculinity.

This rant is so, so important. Agatha’s got another (shorter) rant on older doctors, too, for those interested.

[heyatleastitsnotcancer]

Maybe this is why my rheumatologist and urologist keep blowing off the obvious increase in symptoms I’m having. I bring it up and they don’t even respond

[theklingerkollection]

Male doctor in emerg insisted 15 year old me was “excited to the point of hysteria” due to my ~female troubles~. And told my mum she was lying about the symptoms she was describing. Female doctor came over and recognised pretty much instantly that I was not hysterical, but I was aphasic. She figured out I’d had a stroke. Turns out a medical error on the part of the dude had given me the stroke, too.

[curiousitykilledthe-crow]

@thebibliosphere I feel like you’ve seen a lot of different doctors. Has this been your experience?

[thebibliosphere]

For 26 years I was diagnosed as having “nerves” and that all my pain was induced by said nerves. Same with my chronic anemia which I had had since birth. Most of this came from my mother being officially diagnosed as “neurotic”, so by default the daughter must be too.

When I told my new female doctor this, she looked at me down the length of her nose from behind her glasses and said “well honey, that’s not right” and ordered a veritable assault of tests.

In that year it was discovered that a) I have a severe allergy to the protein strain in red meat that had been slowly killing me for all those years b) chronic acid reflux due to damage caused by this (Also this went some way to explaining my bulimia because I wasn’t actively mentally following the same behavioral patterns of an eating disorder, but because I was a young female throwing up daily it MUST be bulimia and I was just in “denial” which lead to being prescribed sedatives at the age of 10) which I’m still struggling with c) a failing gallbladder due to the red meat (now somewhat recovered) d) a possible autoimmune disease we’re still trying to figure out which may now be linked to my teeth problems.

Unsurprisingly after I stopped eating red meat my body bounced back (if you guys think I’m sick now you have no idea) and for the first time in my entire life since birth, I am no longer considered anemic.

I had blood transfusions for that shit.

And it took for a nurse back home who knew I was moving to America to say “maybe you should be tested for celiac” cause not one motherfucker in my male gp office had ever thought to do so. Her thought that it was celiac was wrong, but her hunch about it being something I was eating was right.

In 2015 I sliced my hand open pretty bad, there was blood everywhere and ETD had to rush me to hospital for stitches. When the doctor came in he tuted about me being clumsy, administered a local anaesthetic and waited. When he began stitching me up I started screaming and only stayed in the chair because ETD was holding my shoulders. Another shot was administered and I still had full sensation. Another and another and–at which point he gave up and just sewed the wound shut and told me to be braver. When I had the stitches removed 2 weeks later by a nurse the wound was still open, still bleeding and she immediately said “did a man do this?” and rolled her eyes when I said yes. Apparently the wound was bad enough my hand should have been splinted to keep it imobile. It’s been two years and it still aches.

Six months after that I was admitted with breathing difficulties and chest pain. The same doctor looked at me, looked at my chart where it said “general anxiety” and said “it’s probably that” despite my female pcp telling me to go to the ER asap, and tried to dismiss me by prescribing sleeping tablets. At which point he turned to ETD and tried to make out I was hysterical with a nudge and a wink, to which ETD requested very calmly in the tones of one getting ready to throttle a mother fucker, that they perform a physical and an EKG as per my doctor’s requests. He did, begrudgingly, the stethoscope barely touched me and the EKG came back normal.

The next day I went to see my pcp who did a full exam, made me breathe into a tube and listened to my chest, then near threw her stethoscope at the wall and said “oh my God you have asthma, did he not do a physical what the f…okay here’s what we do” and put me on meds for severe allergies (no longer covered by my health insurance, yay) and asthma medication for the summer when the pollen in MN attempts to murder me. When I called her this week to let her know I was having further allergic reactions she didn’t even hesitate to write an urgent referal, scheduled for next month when I have insurance again.

So far the only positive male experience I have had in the medical field is my new dentist, and he’s a hippy “honk if you’re a feminist” mad scientist whose wife runs his business and only hires women because, and I quote “I can trust them to look after my patients”. His whole practice was built on catering to weird cases like mine when he realized no one else was. Before him I had a whole host of male dentists who looked at my severe chronic pain and said the medical equivalent of “well, sucks to be you” and let me walk away with the medical equivalent of a ticking time bomb in my jaw bone. They didn’t give a fuck if they hurt me either, they just said “man you are hard to please”, like anyone in their sane mind WANTS to retain full sensitivity in their face while having a root canal. I’m now in the process of having several teeth removed, as well as all remaining botched amalgam fillings which, wait for it–have higher levels of MERCURY in them than is actually allowed, and have been LEAKING FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS (Boy does that explain some things let me tell you)

But y'know. I’m just one of them there picky females making a mountain out of a molehill and over exaggerating my pain for attention. 🙃🙃🙃

So yes. This is my EXACT experience.

[notyouramelie]

Same here. I won’t go in to my long and involved medical history but (with her permission) I will post my daughters story.

So this time 2 years ago my daughter was a ‘normal’ ten year old. She enjoyed school, had just finished filming a part in a Real Life Actual Movie, did several hours of dance, acting, and theatre training a week (at her own behest, I’ve never been nearly as driven as my children are). She’d play in the garden every chance she got, spending hours on the trampoline both alone, and making up games with her siblings. Honestly I was knackered just watching her.

Then, not long after turning 11 things started to change. She was struggling to keep up with her classes, so we cut them down (only keeping the ones she was adamant to keep attending). She was exhausted by school. She stopped wanting to play outside, saying she was too tired. We tried our best to make sure it wasn’t anything at home or school causing it - we made extra sure that we were doing our best to keep her hydrated, that it wasn’t sugar crashes causing her tiredness.

Then, when I was trying to wake her up for school one day, she burst into tears. “I just hurt mum”, she said. That was that then, enough trying to check this ourselves, time to get the gp involved.

What followed was about 14 months of us taking her to the gp (all male) and being told over and over again that she was

*just growing

*doing too much/not enough

*probably not drinking enough

*my fault somehow??

Wandering uterus syndrome (aka female hysteria) was the definite subtext to all these conversations. Eventually we managed to get her an appt with the one male gp there who actually listened. He sent her for blood tests (he was the third doc to do this, but the only one who checked her vitamin D levels), and put her on a vitamin D suppliment when her levels came back “at risk of rickets” low. He told us to keep her on it for a couple of months and that if she wasn’t feeling better, then he would refer her.

Now bear in mind please, just how happily active she was to begin with. At this point she couldn’t make it all the way up the stairs in one go, and despite the fact that she’s never been particularly prone to tears, I’d find her crying at her inability to complete tasks which able-bodied people can accomplish without thought.

Before the couple of months was through we were given very short notice to leave our house (renting is such fun), and we had to move out of the area. As soon as we were settled and registered with a new gp practice I asked my partner (a man) to take her to the gp again. It took a five minute appointment with him presenting our daughters issues to a female gp for her to basically do the Home Alone face and refer her immediately.

Her referral came through and she had her appointment with a female consultant a couple of weeks ago. In that appt I was brought close to tears by the sheer shock of a doc listening to and believing us. She discussed everything with us and referred my daughter on to a whole host of specialists (each one discussed with us and all considered within the sphere of whether she would want *her own* daughter seen by that person).

My daughter left that room with a hypothetical diagnosis, which has since been confirmed. That same consultant rang me that afternoon, asking us both how we felt about daughter trying x medication on a low dose while we wait for the referrals to come through - she’d taken her lunch break to track down the rheumatologist she’d referred us to, not wanting my daughter to have to wait another day after being exhausted and in pain so long.

She was referred to:

* a psychologist for mental health support because of the huge life change the illness caused, and ongoing support to cope with it

* a physiotherapist to help her gain as much mobility back as is possible for her, and for us both to learn how best to address the physical issues caused by her illness

*rheumatologist for, y'know, rheumatology

*something else I can’t remember

The consultant also changed her allergy medicine to one which doesn’t cause drowsiness saying that although it might not make much difference, it might make a little and that was worth the effort of writing a prescription and an email to her gp to get it on repeat.

So yeah. Like @thebibliosphere said, that’s our experience too.

(Again, I’d just like to assure anybody reading this that it was written with my daughters input, with her consent freely given, and was read through fully (and approved) by her before I hit post)

[feminismandmedia]

So for over a year I wasn’t getting my periods… They were super heavy for years and then they just stopped. I thought that was odd and so I talked to my doctor about it. He told me it was just stress from starting college. Cool. 

Then I started gaining a ton of weight while I was eating healthy and working out. He told me it was because of stress again. Cool.

Then I started to have mood swings. He told me I was bipolar and sent me to a therapist who put me on lithium after our first 30 minute meeting. Cool.

Then I started to get extremely lethargic, feeling like I couldn’t get out of bed and it felt more than my usual depression. He told me it was because of personal issues and stress from college. Cool. 

So I was being put on medications that were addictive or making me sick or a million other things.. And I kept going back saying nothing was getting better. 

This doctor quit and a new female doctor came in. I mentioned my symptoms to her and she instantly went to get me a blood test. Turns out I had PCOS and when I got on medication it was ridiculous how fast I got better. 

Women constantly gt treated as if they aren’t good doctors, so they have to work that much harder to be good doctors, this, in my mind, better prepares them and makes them more qualified. 

Mod Bethany

[themixedfeminist]

I’ve been fortunate to have a male gp who actually listened to me (mainly because he is good friends with my dad), but I have heard some horror stories from my sister who is an anesthesiologist.

They have included:

-having to stop a surgery because the patient woke up in the middle of it (male doctor forgot to tell my sister that the patient was a former alcoholic)

-refusing to allow a male surgeon reschedule a “minor” surgery cause he wanted to play golf

-arguing with a male OBGYN doctor to get in and help with delivery cause he thought it was too soon since the woman was only in labor for a couple of hours

-graduated from med school with a suprisingly large number of guys who believe hysteria was a comman “female disorder”

-in med school was taught by a male teacher that women always exaggerate their pain so when a woman tells you her pain is a 5, assume it’s a 3

[taypalmer]

I work in a neurological/trauma ICU and both the trauma surgeon and neurosurgeon I respect the most are women. They spend the most time with families, patients, and they spend the most time really getting to the bottom of things. Truly support this full thread and when I’m looking for doctors for general or OBGYN I only request women. I work with some amazing men doctors but they (almost) never go the extra mile that women doctors do.

[taypalmer]

Progression of my arm muscle 😍 slow & steady baby bicep

[meanplastic]

[sweetoothgirl]

Peach and Blackberry Pie

[averagefairy]

small boob privilege is so real like…. bralettes… underboob tattoos… going braless?? not looking hyper sexual at all times ???? running comfortably? i could go on

[dormirblonde]

concept: its an october evening and thunderstorming outside. you’re drinking cider under a pile of blankets, and watching halloween movies with your favorite person.

[neverthere12345]

[taypalmer]

Feels about my kitchen today