I'ᶫᶫ ˢᵗʳᶦᵏᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵈᵒʷᶰ, ᵗᵒᵒ⋅

Indie Julius B. Harway There is a shipwreck between your ribs; you are a box with fragile written on it, (& so many people have not handled you with care). Written by Matt. NSFW & TRIGGERING.

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PSA : Archiving and moving.

I need a fresh start, so I’m going to be ARCHIVING the current blog and migrating to a new one.

A link will be posted & queued later.

I’d say it’s been fun, but despite my attachment to my muse, this blog has been nothing but a source of anxiety for reasons I refuse to elaborate on.

I’m going to start again, and not let myself fall into the hell I did here.

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Permanent semi-hiatus warning.

For this, I feel like I need to apologize, but --

I’m finally going to admit it instead of looking like a coward. This blog is on a permanent semi-hiatus.

And the reasons, I admit, are mostly selfish and cowardly ones. I feel as though, despite putting so much into my muse, I cannot share a single thing because I will be rejected; that which I have crafted and aligned to my muse, made sure it would fit canonically to circumstances and such, would be rejected because people dislike it. That I would have people think ill of me, speak ill of me, tell me I am wrong and that I am doing wrong for having, perhaps, a slightly different view of someone who has so little canon info.

I have taken a man who has almost nothing to him in canon and fleshed him out. I have ground my fingers to the bone attempting this and I cannot even share what I’ve done because there is a part of me that screams for acceptance and acceptance is of that perfectly canon, boxed off view.

I have made headcanons on quirks and all the little things that have made up 25 years of hell and I can’t post them. I am selfish so I run away instead of treating my blog (and my muse) how I should.

Yes, his mental space is negative. Yes, that makes up a lot of what I post. The knowledge that things are not okay, in my opinion, is incredibly important. But I am scared.

I am scared and I cannot talk about anything because I am scared of being crushed.

And so I run and run and run and I leave this blog alone and I come back and so many people have left, and keep leaving, and keep leaving.

I am scared, and seeing that makes me not want to come back, and that scares me worse because I am so attached to Julius as a muse and as a character. Honestly, he’s helped me out of dark places in my life. 

Having him as a muse has helped me a lot.

However, the other (selfish, cowardly) part of this: I can’t write for him very well unless I am not mentally well, and I need to be able to change that. For now, however, I am running away, because I don’t like being reminded that neither of us are okay (quite often).

I run, and run, and run, and my god I don’t expect any of you to stay.

I am making a long, self-centered, whining rant here, but I am sorry to say that this blog is on permanent semi-hiatus until I can write things I want to write without nausea from “what will they think, what if they think ill of me”, until I can write without being in a bad place, until I can walk proudly and say “this is my muse and these are my headcanons and I give zero fucks if you hate them because I worked so damn hard on them”.

I am selfish and cowardly but thank you all for bothering with me (and with my beautiful wreck of a boy).

[lostbelted-deactivated20240615]

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priincebird:

{[ 🔪 ]}

{ Or some other poetic way of saying he’s cold, beautiful, and lonely. }

( A fanmix for Julius B. Harway )

[himizuka]

[himizuka]

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(( Starter Call!! ))

[sparklyscion-blog]

bold any fears that apply to your muse!!! italicize what makes them uncomfortable!!! (and add your own if they aren’t listed)

the dark | fire | open water (sea/ocean) | (any) deep water | being alone | crowded/enclosed spaces (agoraphobia) | confined spaces (claustrophobia) | change | failure | war | being controlled/lack of free will | prison | blood | drowning | suffocation | public speaking | natural animals (any kind) | supernatural monster/animals (any kind) | heights | death/dying | dying alone | intimacy | rejection | abandonment | the unknown | the future | not being good enough | scary stories | talking to new people | poverty | loud noises | being touched | powerlessness | restraints/being restrained | rain (ombrophobia)

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scxrpiens --> tcten.

(( URL CHANGE! ))

[musingsiren]

            ❛ I MAY NOT BE THE STRONGEST,               I MAY NOT BE THE FASTEST,               BUT I’LL BE DAMNED IF I’M NOT TRYING MY HARDEST ❜

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scxrpiens --> tcten.

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scxrpiens --> tcten.

(( URL CHANGE! ))

[manymistypes]

[hokage]

i am full of SIN

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[x]

[starryism-deactivated20160707]

And this is where I’d put my notes

IF I HAD ANY

[radtracks]

Visit Original Link

desert song // my chemical romance

well, after all, we’ll lie another day and through it all, we’ll find some other way to carry on through cartilage and fluid and did you come to stare or wash away the blood?