Today's Document
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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Noah Kahan

Game Changer & Make Some Noise
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Phantogram Three

roma★
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Mike Driver

@theartofmadeline
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Sade Olutola
Cookie Run:Kingdom Official!
todays bird
Fieri Frames
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
RMH
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@tea-at-my-house
tattooist_doy Sun & Moon
wнαт тнe ғυcĸ ιѕ тнιѕ?
Elmo’s voice saying “I’ll fuck u up” is the best and worst thing ever
YO I SWEAR THIS SHIT IS TOO FUNNY😭🤣
@threerainsdelgado @username-blackrose
IM sCREAMIDG
creds: https://www.instagram.com/p/BiczfmvBdPA/
when my mom says that I lie in bed too much and do nothing at all
If she ask you for your star sign she’s actually entertaining the thought of being with you.
She just wants to know why she finds you so annoying
Both
opposite of depression nap. depression awakeness. refreshing the same three websites over and over. there’s nothing new on any of them. eight seconds have passed and it feels like a century
Do NOT bother my boy.
DO. FUCKING. NOT.
What a wonderful way to wake up! Every little boy deserves a dog, and every dog deserves a little boy.
WHEN HE PULLS THE BLANKET BACK OVER HIM AND GIVES HIM A KISS ON THE NOSE REBLOG IF YOU AGREE
this husky is mad because he wants to take a bath but isn’t allowed to
let my poor baby take his bath
If y'all really knew. If y'all really knew what utter drama queens huskies are this wouldn’t surprise you at all.
This is my life.
Literally my husky is the same way. He’s only a few months and he’ll cry to go back outside after being in the house two seconds.
I once ran out of my house in my pajamas at 2 in the fucking morning because I heard a dog screaming like it had been hit by a car. As I’m pelting towards the road barefoot I see an open garage with two people standing there and a husky in the back of a truck. I slowed down and asked them if that noise had been their dog.
Heavily embarrassed they admitted that it was. The reason for the godawful tortured sound the dog had made?
“We took his running harness off.”
And that was the moment I vowed to never own a husky.
I frequently pet sit for a friend’s husky, who is completely normal and unremarkable for her kind with one crucial exception.
She is dumb as soup.
(You didn’t hear that from me: her owner thinks she’s a genius, bless him.)
Anyway, my dog Tribble thinks Arya the husky is one of her very own adopted babies, so she stays with us fairly often. Reasons I have heard this dog dissolve into a screaming, wailing meltdown include:
I followed my buddy up a mildly steep hill and now she’s gone and I can’t figure out how to get down
That one cat won’t be friends with me even though all the others will
I hopped up on the sofa and the hardwood floor next to it is much more confusing than the laminate I have lived on since I was two months old and I don’t know how to get down
I’m mildly bored and my buddy yelled at me when I tried to bite her neck for the zillionth time
I want to play with that potted plant but you said I couldn’t
I’m overcome with joy because you took me on a walk to the hardware store
I want that biscuit but I forgot what sit means and now I’m frustrated
I haven’t seen you in two weeks and I forgot you weren’t dead and I’m overjoyed
You are not petting me enough
You are not petting me at all
I got lost four times in five minutes on the off leash trail and now you won’t let me off again for a while
There’s a brush and I need it
You made eye contact with me and didn’t immediately drop everything to pet me
She’s a very good dog, and she’s a sweet dog who is never offended by anything, but the screaming has singlehandedly ensued I will never, ever, ever own a husky. I like having functioning ears too much.
To be fair, you and your friend may both be right: huskies, like border-collies, are just intelligent enough to develop Exciting Cognitive Neuroses, much like a toddler, which frankly dumber dogs will skip because they don’t actually have quite enough extra cognitive space to think up ways to be utterly fucking ridiculous.
I kind of suspect this is going on here in part because of the dog being so very specifically upset that the one cat won’t be friends, despite all the other cats being friends, and also the overcome-with-joy bits: you’ll notice they’re very similar to what makes toddlers randomly cry for no reason.
Where a bulldog doesn’t care about the difference between laminate and hardwood, a husky is just smart enough to get VERY CONCERNED ABOUT HOW THESE ARE SUBTLY DIFFERENT AND POSSIBLY IT MEANS THAT GETTING DOWN WILL BE A TOTALLY DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE AAAAAUGH! and get hysterically anxious about it.
“Smarter”, in animals as in humans, does not actually always mean “more sensible.” XD
I was feeling very lonely this evening and now I’m laughing down to my belly so thank you for this post