Tea

23 | she/her | trans | big mtg girlie

[lilyblisslys]

if I ever tell you “lmk what you think if you read/play/watch it!” I am firmly inviting you to send me a play by play minute by minute cataloguing of your thoughts about The Thing

[filmnoirsbian]

I love getting unaccompanied minors (kids flying alone) who so clearly just. Don't want to be here lol. Sometimes I get to know a little of their story, like their parents are divorced, or a family member died and they're heading to the funeral, but usually they just don't want to talk about it and that's fine. But I always treat the flight like it's a challenge to make them smile. I offer them snacks and soda but that's never enough, that's whatever, they could get those from an airport vending machine. Chump change. So then I tell the worst jokes. Just the most embarrassing, kindergarten teacher, annoying dad jokes you can think of. And those always get a groan, or a "Seriously??" And that's my in! Now I can say "Why, what's your idea of a good joke? No, come on hotshot, make your best joke, let's see it." And they hem and they haw but of course they eventually tell me their very best joke because kids are little competitive comedy goldmines. And it's always super funny, so I laugh, and that's where they slip up. Because you know what you almost always do when your joke successfully makes someone laugh? You smile. And I'm like. Gotcha. Rookie move. Now you're going to end up having a good time in spite of yourself. I win.

[filmnoirsbian]

Did this with an 11yo u.m. today and he said "What did the ghost say to the other ghost?" And I said "What?" "Nothing. Ghosts aren't real."

[filmnoirsbian]

I'm literally a flight attendant, offering snacks and drinks is my job

[this-is-a-name-dont-worry]

gshsjb

[lamortwrites]

Women being described as handsome >>>>>>>>>>>>

[lamortwrites]

TARGET AUDIENCE REACHED

[1000cavalry]

Women being described as dashing

[i-fuck-audis]

MY FUCKING CAR

[homophobla]

Twice a year in Hawaii the sun passes directly overhead and objects cast no shadow. It’s a phenomenon called “Lahaina Noon”

[phoenix-theurge]

You're full of shit, Hawaiians are just able to levitate coconut milk.

[ewaneneollav]

*sits up in bed, stretches, yawns* it’s another beautiful, glorious day full of opportunity a- *ominous bell toll and i am instantly replaced with a 10,000-year-old mummy sitting in the exact same pose*

[phantomrose96]

I like when fic length/book length/movie length is its own punchline

[phantomrose96]

characters: Ah, I'm so glad that's all over now :). But luckily that's done and dealt with and we can all resume our normal lives now :)

fic length: Chapter 9 out of 48

[phantomrose96]

[medievalspecs]

[castlerobin]

[cauterizedheart-deactivated2025]

[unclefather]

you ever notice how covid cases have spiked since the cock destroyers split up? can’t be a coincidence 

[dangerousturkey]

since the what

[unclefather]

come here and sit down right now

[dangerousturkey]

Oh i’ve seen this before witch you wont get me

[c0ulrophilia]

I try not to be the twitter reposter but like. yeah.

[catgirlminerva]

Okay, all the notes have become advice SO: Drink a hydration aide and a probiotic or gut health drink of your choice on the daily. We're all, myself included, sick of being scolded for smoking but if you smoke darts you have to stop. Nicotine fucks your liver's ability to actually make use of the estrogens passing through it, and it causes your liver to break them down faster and convert a bunch into useless shit. Prog can do sweet fuck all if you're not offering what it needs to begin with. Also, you're murdering the girl you'll be every day after today and that's a fucked thing to do. For now though, patches and certain estrogen tablets taken sublingually skirt the liver and go straight into your blood, though you will need to check your specific make and double check in the instance of generic scripts. If its compounded differently from the name-brand prescription you need to know if it can still be used under the tongue. Personally I take my t blockers, wait ~90 minutes and then take my sublinguals.

Get your E directly into your blood, permacrush your T levels, (I feel amazing around 2.7pmol/L and I make sure my Dr's know I'm aware how low that is) and THEN start on progesterone as a suppository. I have no experience or knowledge of topical progesterone cream but I'm told that works too, and can be useful for evening out particularly uneven breast growth HOWEVER THAT WILL HAPPEN ON ITS OWN, 99.5 TIMES OUT OF A HUNDRED. You just have to wait, they WILL be noticeably uneven at points, potentially for some time, and it is COMPLETELY NORMAL for developed breasts to be different sizes and hang differently. Official prescribing guidelines AU is to wait ~6months to start prog, personally I do not believe that's long enough, but obviously its ultimately up to you. You can try cycling prog if you like, I have bpd and that was an actual fucking nightmare but I've read testimony from some transfems for whom it worked great. You will need to tell whomever does your blood work that your estrogen is going straight into your blood, otherwise they will freak out at the insane levels if you ever get a test done in the first three-ish hours after it enters your system.

My only other advice is find a durum flour you like and get good at making pizza, the most expensive parts are the meat and cheese and you only actually need one of those. Plus, having like $12 in your bank account and knowing you can make a week's worth of pizza a la bullshit ft. the forgotten things in your pantry is a Big Security Feeling.

oh also jesus christ if you boof your prog RUN IT UNDER WARM WATER FIRST, even just for a split second.

[plumstreet]

WHERE is that poem about that person learning all about their partners hyperfixation before getting dumped the last line is like "love is a stack of books on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end" I need it to feel whole help me please

[cielosky]

NYT Tiny Love Stories, 2/11/2020

A Bookmark Near the End

He loves history. He wanted to write a biography of John Quincy Adams. I, shamefully, knew almost nothing about John Quincy Adams, so I went online and bought every biography of him I could find. One day, he called me, claiming that we wouldn’t work out long term. He said he loved me but that we had different interests. “What does love mean to you?” I said. “That’s an impossible question,” he replied. I, however, find love to be quite simple. Love is the stack of biographies on my nightstand with a bookmark near the end. — Julia Nicole Camp 

[zephyr-of-death]

how am I supposed to stay sane after reading this smh

[alexaloraetheris]

Being ace and hot is a nightmare sometimes, I met this guy in my neighborhood, we live literally 200m away from each other, he's funny and witty and a genuine delight to talk to, and YESTERDAY he makes it clear he's flirting so now I'm trying to figure out how to turn him down and also throw my single friends at him because he really is a great catch, but I don't eat fish so he's wasted on me.

So now I have to figure out how to say 'I think, based on your tastes, I have some girlfriends you might like and they'd love to take you home, doggy walking same time next week?' in human speak.

[alexaloraetheris]

Task failed abysmally, I'm having a threesome on Tuesday. My job is to look pretty and hand over the props.

[alexaloraetheris]

That was fun, amd I learned some things about myself! Namely that I would make an excellent scantly-clad servant bowing to a sadistic evil queen. 10/10 would do it again.

[lilbuddybd]

This was a wild ride but the line “he’s a great catch but I don’t eat fish” is so unexpectedly good

[pukicho]

Visit Original Link

YEAHHHHHH

[oooo-iiiiiiiiiiiiiiii]

MAN, SHUT YOUR ASS!! I'M TRYING TO TAKE A NAP HERE!

[pukicho]

Wake up

[triviallytrue]

people who don't follow chess I promise this post is really funny

[dorkichiban]

Karpov had cemented his position as the world's best player and world champion by the time Garry Kasparov arrived on the scene. In their first match, the World Chess Championship 1984 in Moscow, the first player to win six games would win the match. Karpov built a 4–0 lead after nine games. The next 17 games were drawn, setting a record for world title matches, and it took Karpov until game 27 to gain his fifth win. In game 31, Karpov had a winning position but failed to take advantage and settled for a draw. He lost the next game, after which 14 more draws ensued. Karpov held a solidly winning position in Game 41, but again blundered and had to settle for a draw. After Kasparov won games 47 and 48, FIDE President Florencio Campomanes unilaterally terminated the match, citing the players' health. Karpov is said to have lost 10 kg over the course of the match. The match had lasted an unprecedented five months, with five wins for Karpov, three for Kasparov, and 40 draws.

okay, yeah this is pretty funny

[totallynotgayforyou]

[podcastwizard]

LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST

[the-goddess-of-annoying]

you people aren't CASTING

[the-goddess-of-annoying]

NO