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I don't understand

[real-faker]

Me: “Alright, time to get some work done…” My brain: 

Me:  “No, dude, I’m serious…” MY BRAIN:

[autisticauthorpidge]

The bisexual stereotype is true. I am bi and I can’t decide anything. I have never made a decision in my life.

[obscuritiesoffbeat]

I hate the fact that the sentence “mummies are rare because we ate them” is factual.

[somewhatsociable]

I’m sorry, what?

[obscuritiesoffbeat]

I am so happy to be the one to introduce you to the horrible few hundred years where Europeans regularly consumed ground Egyptian mummies.

[tevruden]

[x]

[angelwalking]

#get with the program the new humor is benevolent surrealism (x)

[agentsnark]

I always wanted to know what to call it.

[froborr]

This is something I’ve been meaning to talk about, and I may do a full blog post at some point, but here’s a capsule version:

The Benign Violation Theory of humor, which is probably the best one out there, suggests that something is perceived as funny when it is simultaneously perceived as violating how the world “should” work and as benign. Something like the “gun” meme, for example, is funny because it violates our sense of how a joke should progress, and at the same time it’s harmless. 

Racist/sexist/etc shock humor violates our sense of how the world work–in either a “that’s not true!” or “you’re not allowed to say that!” way–and therefore whether you find it funny is based on whether you find it benign, which is to say either you think it’s harmless or you don’t care about the people it harms. (This is the root of the punch up/kick down distinction–jokes that punch up are funnier than jokes that kick down because the people they target are less vulnerable and therefore less likely to experience harm.)

So yes, science agrees that if you think racist jokes are funny, the reason is that you don’t care about the feelings of the people the joke is about. There’s a word for that.

[okayysophia]

WE DONT CARE IN 2018!!!

[babyanimalgifs]

This video is sacred

[mjalti]

no no dude listen.. being the friend IS the benefit

[hoemami-deactivated20171229]

hot n cold by katy perry was such a 6th grade anthem like remember when people wore converse sneakers and would straighten only their bangs and had an ipod touch with the background that said muffins are just ugly cupcakes

[bob-belcher]

[dykes-deactivated20200607]

trans people can be straight. they can be het. saying otherwise invalidates their gender is and transphobic. i think what people are trying to say is that trans people don’t have straight PRIVILEGE, in that trans people who are straight (ie trans men attracted to women only, trans women attracted to men only), while they ARE straight, they don’t get the “straight privilege” because society views them as something they’re not, they see them as their assigned whatever and look at them as “gay” when they’re not.

trans people deal with transphobia and aren’t considered straight by society, therefore they don’t really experience the straight privilege that would normally come with being straight. this is honestly because straight privilege has an understood “cis” in front of it. straight prilevege is really cishet privilege.

“trans people can’t be straight” = transphobic, implies a [binary] trans person only attracted to the ~opposite~ binary gender isn’t actually straight, invalidates their gender

“trans people don’t experience straight privilege [like cishet people do]” = not transphobic, notes the nuances in labeling as something that society views as abnormal, still validates trans people in their gender

[doctormccoys]

..Yeah, I went on a date in New York.

[apicturewithasmile]

I appreciate John’s story but the fact that OP blurred out Amy Schumer is the funniest think I’ll see all week and it’s only tuesday.

[parakeet]

The idea that Mike wazowski wouldn’t scare kids bc he’s like not traditionally scary is such bs??? like if I woke up and there was a fucking green shortass with one gigantic eye in my room staring at me I’d lose my shit Like there r grown ppl who get nervous when they hear a sound in the night and these monsters think kids won’t be scared by funsize cyclops shrek creepin in their closet get outta here cmon

[meowmagica-moved-deactivated201]

when we were kids my brother used to be scared that the radiator would turn into a goat. he wasn’t afraid of goats, he was just afraid of the heater being one.

[onceiwashere]

i love having the cilantro yummy gene

[chrisdoeslife]

My condolences to cilantro soap people

[platypus426]

This one time I was at a street festival hosted by my Uni and there was a guy doing card tricks. I was watching him when I noticed he dropped a card. (7 of spades) I quickly pu my shoe in it and then bent down to act like I was tying my shoe. He then asks for a volunteer so I raise my hand. He asks me to say the name of a card at random so I say “7 of spades” he does his trick that I guess was supposed to make it come on top. He holds up the Ace of Hearts and says “is this your card?” And I hold up the card and said “no but this is” and the crowd LOST IT. I handed the card back to the magician and walked away. Later he comes up to me and asks me how I did it. I looked him in the eye, smiled and said “magicians never reveal their secrets” and walked away.

[stopidontgohere]

hot hot

OH WE GOT IT

[mintykiwi]

[fantastic-nonsense]

okay but the screenwriter for Thor: Ragnarok is obviously intimately aware of what it’s like to have siblings because like…the snake scene? Bickering at every opportunity? Throwing things at each other for no real reason? “You know this guy?” “I have no idea who this person is”? Smirking when your sibling does something cool because ‘nothing but respect for MY sibling’ and then turning around and punching each other in the face right afterward? Stabbing each other for fun and then going ‘oh come on you big baby, that didn’t even hurt’? The fucking ‘Get Help’ scene? Like bruh…that is some Truth in Hollywood right there

[melonmemes]

Why the fuck would you taste it?!

[goodeye-cyborg]

Fun archeology fact! Sometimes when you find bone fragments they look like rocks. When this happens there is one quick, easy, surefire way to make sure which they are. You gotta lick it. Bones are porous and will stick to your tongue whereas rocks will not. Any way, that’s how we sometimes know what bones taste like.