Schist happens @teampico456 - Tumblr Blog

starridge

having a pet kinda awesome wdym i got a little scoundrel running around named after the guy in dracula who eats bugs

starridge

my scoundrel eats bugs too. nominative determinism

starridge

the people have asked to see the scoundrel and who am i to deny you

mr renfield, ladies and gentlemen

majomeowjo

your thang looked easy to draw. he wasn't

starridge

OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDD

jennyandvastraflint

@capybaraonabicycle

audliminal

Thinking about the whole "there is no platonic explanation for this" thing and how it doesn't account for intense platonic situationships and anyways I think we should start saying "there is no casual explanation for this" bc really what we're talking about is the way the characters in question are Obsessed with each other

sacred-portal

physics-dirtbag

Me every single night:

choose abortion

Life kills!

gremlininho

then & now ♡

theropodfan-deactivated20241023

luwha

evergreen-femme

orpheuslament

i need (abruptly stops talking & stares at some random fixed point with a vacant expression)

astrodael

poupon

Wow thanks for the ingot man let me just inspect the quality real quick

Dude come on

recoveredcombatsister

keeping a blokelist of problematic english men

joycomplexx

by the way it's fine to like sexual content just for the sake of it. "we can't ban porn because other stuff will get banned" "sometimes nude art has value" "the government will classify queer people as sexual" this is all true but it's okay to just like porn. its okay to not want porn to be banned because you like it.

danielkanhai

i hate when apps know that i’m screenshotting something. when i screenshot something, that’s me acting outside your realm of understanding, app. i am beyond what you consider the observable universe. you’re not supposed to perceive me. we don’t know when god screenshots the earth. we don’t know when he’s like, “okay i’m just gonna take a pic in case i ever want to add dinosaurs back to something later and don’t remember how.” and if we did, we wouldn’t act all smug about it like, “hey, you wanna share that post? you could just click here to share it.” no, man. you didn’t catch me. i screenshotted this for my own reasons. what’s next? i can’t take a photo of my computer screen with my phone out of laziness without being shamed by the printer i don’t own?

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey

I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements

pinene

I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw

occasionalesbianlovermariahcarey

you are so beautiful in every way

pinene

We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible

herssian

people who don't use or spend time on tumblr don't really understand how solid this place is for creatives and how we could be living in artist utopia if they fully undid the nsfw ban. the tag system? the dashboard? the silly anons who will send you the most insane sentences known to mankind? having your very old, shitty art make the rounds again because somebody finds value from it and wants to show their friends? no other place even comes close

shamebats

Oh come on lady, you can't deny a man his gaycation

shamebats

You must surrender yourself mind, body and soul to the gaycation or be destroyed

shamebats

Someone on reddit already suggested a sapphibbatical

the-haiku-bot

Someone on reddit

already suggested a

sapphibbatical

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

mechanica1-hands

how could you leave out the best part—the aquarium bit

shamebats

"become a fish" (gay)

ladyananas

men will jump through an entire circus' worth of hoops rather than admitting they're bi

helpless--romantics

theivorybilledwoodpecker

The level of mental hoops that guy had to jump through to say to his wife, "No, honey! Of course I wouldn't be cheating on you! Sex during gaycations doesn't count!"

theivorybilledwoodpecker

Holy fucking shit! It gets trippier!

I mean, I feel horrible for the OP and her SIL...but "surrender to the gaycation" made me laugh way more than I should have.

emilynyaaa

this is an insane story

flickering-leaves

“Some men never return”

Helpppppp 😭

brightlotusmoon

harperhug

Um…here’s the reddit link? I’m speechless.

handageddon

Don't worry honey, all the other men on gaycation aren't real people and they stop existing after. Hey, where's all the homophoboa coming from suddenly?