the trope subversion in ramparts of ice is INSANE to me
yota keeps catching koyun when she falls and is the one to first ‘get through’ her wall but theyre entirely platonic
the the charismatic, popular guy who helps the shy kid is not always wanted and the way he goes about it is invasive and self-serving
the bullied main character DID fight back actually and isn’t just a victim but also did some stuff she’s not proud of (which adds a great layer to why she hates to think abt junior high btw)
your longtime friend having been pining for you in silence is NOT sweet it makes you wonder if they have ulterior motives
the best friend who is trying to set up the main character isn’t obsessed with romance/boys
actually i think it’s really important and amazing tgat a romance anime that focuses on a group of friends falling for each other goes so far out of its way to say HEY! girls and guys can be friends AND it’s weird and diminishing to value platonic relationships under romantic ones
I never knew what it felt like to exist after death. Granted, I doubt anyone does. The scriptures say death is supposed to feel peaceful. I guess, to me, it did feel somewhat calm. I hadn't forgotten my memories of my life, my parents, my education, my job, the stress of bills, capitalism, all those hours I spent doomscrolling; I remembered it all… and Him, yes, my memory of Him was quite intact. All those hours of wanting him, all those years of feeling his name echo through the depths of my mind at the most goddamn inopportune moments, I remembered it all… Strange, though, isn't it? Who am I even talking to? Am I not supposed to forget it all after death? As per scriptures, we all start anew, right? Where was I even? My eyes aren't open... not really... I no longer have a body. I could feel myself floating... it was a really weird sensation. I suddenly remember—wait, how the hell am I remembering if I don't have a brain? What the fuck? Anyways, I remember the books saying something like I must put intention into creation? Let me try… maybe then I would be able to open my eyes—I mean see, yeah, I needed to see what was around me.
Oh… wait up… the darkness is receding—nope, false alarm, it’s not… but there’s a new light… someone’s here. I’m not alone.
I blink... hold the fuck up, did I just blink? I look down, oh, ohhh my body, no wait—it was a corporeal form… but looked exactly like my body when I died… WTF, am I a ghost?
“I thought you would be more comfortable in your most recent form,” a voice spoke. It wasn't male, it wasn't female either; it felt as if it were as much a soft whisper yet as heavy as the tolling bells of the old temples.
I whirl around, “Who?” There was no one, yet I could feel it. That presence: vast, endless, far, far too large to be contained within one form.
“That question is the most difficult to answer... who am I indeed…”
I blink, bewildered, a part of me starting to recognize exactly who or rather what I was talking to... “That makes no sense, everyone knows who they are.”
“Hmm… do they? Tell me, who are you then?” the voice asked back. My answer was instant, before I could even process my own words, “I am Shreyasi—"... I stopped as a thought struck me: was I still Shreyasi? Wasn't I a little too… ahem… dead to be the old me? Then… who was I now?
“See? You're stuck too. Your flesh had its identity, but without that cover, even you do not know who you are,” the voice—... I needed to stop calling him-her-it, the voice in my head—wait... did I even have a head... ugh.
“Look, just for the purpose of this conversation, give me a name and let me see you…” I stated flatly. I'd never really been one to mince words, death or not, that wasn't gonna change.
The voice laughed; literally, not even kidding. Not the amused kinda laugh, rather as if I had stated something so wild it was damn near impossible. I felt the space around me shimmer, as if every molecule or atom or whatever was vibrating… “Hey, that’s not fair,” I grumbled. I wasn't sure if he-she-it—dammit, was laughing at me or just because it felt the need to do so.
“You're not supposed to be here, you know? You wandered too far, little soul.”
I blinked at that, “Oh, do souls not come here? I didn't know that. It’s not like I did it on purpose, y'know; not my fault.” The voice felt as if it were smiling, “Yes, most do not; perhaps your soul inherently knew it seeked something more than the usual. So it drifted… still, you're too far…” The voice paused for a second before it spoke again, “Alright then, since you asked for a form, I shall take one you're rather familiar with…”
And then, colors exploded. Everywhere. Up until now, I seemed to exist in a dark, deep space, and now suddenly I saw stars, galaxies, universes and shit I didn't even know what they were, and then… Him.
Not physical, I mean, not flesh and blood. He was… vast, for a lack of a better word. The same corporeal form that I had, somewhat transparent, but too damn vast, literally. It felt as if this entire space was his bed and he was lying on it. I couldn't distinguish his facial features because he was more or less a silhouette. But I could see he was lying down, I could see his hair, long, flowing, the ends merging with the very black space I was floating in. His eyes, the only part of him that was glowing, were like black holes. Literally. Those NASA pictures of black holes , exactly like that... I'm pretty sure the eyeballs, or what should be eyeballs in human anatomy, were rotating , moving , shifting. They weren't static. Yet it was Him, I knew it, my soul knew it; it was him, just… goddamn.
But he didn't look the same as the calendar images , no weapons , no glittering gold and flowers , no sheshnag ... Nothing . He was a bare shadow ... His sheer presence felt like gravity to me .
My voice was a mix of awe and gut-wrenching terror, “I-... you thought—” I tried again, “you thought I would be familiar with this?”
“Are you not? They call me—ah, what was that name again? … Ah, yes, Mahavishnu—”
I did not let him complete his sentence before my voice found its way out by itself, “MAHAVISHNU?” Not Vishnu, not Krishna, directly MAHA-????? I look at him incredulously, “You-... if you knew I was familiar with Mahavishnu, why not take the easier version, you know? Like Krishna, easy on the eyes… I think… compared to... this. You.”
"Remember when I told you that you had wandered too far? This is what I meant. This… Mahavishnu… is the least overwhelming form I can take. Krishna, that form, is far too close to the human realm; I'm far, far beyond that realm. Far beyond.”
I go quiet for a moment, before I murmur, “Then how did I wander so far… you’re like- the highest point, in the universe.” He chuckled, that sort of sound when one is entirely certain of what they were about to say, no matter how outrageous the statement might be, “Not the highest, that would be incorrect, little soul. I am the only point that exists. There’s nothing beyond me.”
I blink, legit, just blink, before I go “Nothing beyond you? Well I mean, true the scriptures said the same, but… what about other y’know, beings, like you?”
“All me. I'm all that there is, little soul,” he replied. His voice was calm, like someone stating the earth is a planet.
I point to myself, “Then what about me? I’m you?”
He paused for a moment, not in surprise, no, rather it felt as if he was trying to find words that wouldn't be too big for me, before settling for the simplest of all answers, “Yes, little soul. You are me.”
I go quiet again, damn, that hit hard, ooof… but- I perk up “But, we are separate, I mean we are standing separately, you’re there” I point to where his silhouette was, “and I’m here” I point back to myself.
He smiles, I couldn't see it for sure but I could feel it, “Who says I’m not right next to you?”
I frown in confusion, “Huh but you’re—”… I couldn't complete my retort, for that is when I noticed … His hair, or rather a silhouette of his hair, that was the black space around me, the galaxies and universes and what not, were on his hair, like little hairclips. I didn't know how to explain the exact visual I was seeing. He was right. He was right next to me—no, he was all around me. I looked down at my own corporeal form; it was semi-transparent, yes, but I could see that wavy texture of hair—not physical, not actual hair, but the essence—within me… I was made of… Him. I didn't know how to put that into words. I was literally made of him, like a doll is made of plastic, where the plastic is its essence… I was made up of him… I just stand still, a shiver running through my spine, a phantom thing I guess, since I didn't have a spine? I quickly looked around, as far as my corporeal form could see. Everything had the same texture, his hair, everything was made of him, those galaxies, those stars, and other things I didn't know the name of, all spun like tangled tresses… He was not just here or there, he was everywhere… hell he was all that there was… “Holy fuck—” my voice was a strangled whisper. I was terrified of what I was seeing, purely terrified. I mean, come on, no one can look at this… this, and not be scared shitless. So this was the truth. All Him.
I huffed a soft laugh, the terror was still there, but it wasn't the fear of someone in trouble, rather the terror that comes with too much knowledge, “Huh, so it's all you, is it? Then why these..forms? Me, other humans, and other beings I don't know of… what's the point if it's all you?”
He smiled, I could feel it, “Well, my existence got monotonous after a few eternities, so I decided to create instead.”
I hum, I could relate to that atleast, boredom, “Hmm, makes sense, you got tired of being the only one to exist, and since you are all that there is, was or will be, you just decided to create from within you.”
Silence.
Then I felt him lean closer, it was a strange feeling, he wasn't leaning physically closer, but the space between us seemed to fold, his eyes, those black hole type moving things, stilled for a split second. Both the glowing orbs focusing on me, at once, I froze, fear, primal, blood curdling fear, ran through me. I wasn't scared of him like that, it was just a natural instinct. The way a mortal nervous system would react to direct proximity with overwhelming existence itself.
“Youre a sharp one, little soul. You accept things with an ease most would certainly struggle with.” his voice was curious, interested, as if he was only right now starting to actually pay attention to me.
I was reading Finding Radha by Namita Gokhale and came across this, found this bit so amusing, sent me down a lane of thinking, can’t explain, just an ancient nostalgic type.
This is firstly based on the Satyabhama novel by a Gujarati author, Satyabhamaa
Some creative liberty has been taken which you shall know when you watch the movie.
Talking about the portrayals: The actress playing Radha was lovely to watch though I feel there was this slight disconnect during dubbing but I loved her dance scenes and the scenes. Also every frame during Radha-Krishna parts in Vrindavana were straight from a painting and a lovely Pinterest moodboard
The guy playing Krishna was actually nice like i did enjoy the softness in his voice and boy he did look charismatic.
Rukmini was portrayed so well, imma go cry. She is dignified and the character portrayal was so apt because when Rukmini is mahalakshmi, she is also Dwarkeshvari, Krishna's patrani so she holds a great understanding about her role in Krishna's life and the position she holds in Krishna's heart. For the first time I did not see the same old irshya from radha and being insecure from Radha.
Satyabhama ahhh I swear I was in love with her once again. Her maan leela was actually well done instead of the egoistical angle that serials usually do.
Rukmini-Satyabhama bond. Chef's kiss. Yes there are these scenes where Satya wants Krishna for herself and the tulambharam scene is also there but for those who have always seen Satya as this proud and haughty wife thanks to media and folklore, you see how she does because of maan, because she believes that she has the right to be displeased, to demand affection from Krishna, to demand love because if she is in love with him as his wife, he is also her husband he too must please her. This is unique about their bond.
Because Rukmini-Krishna have the bond as a god and goddess in love. They are dignified, yes they are in love too, very much indeed but in them you see how they are older, they have seen eons where they find each other and fall in love in different ways. It's nothing new. But with Bhama-Krishna, you get to see the humanization of a goddess being in love with a god.
I kind of wanted more dialogues though because though the music was overwhelmingly good, I wish there were more dialogues because I wanted to listen to them conversing.
Grand scenes, amazing visuals. Pinterest girlies for desi moodboards will be working hard now to make those edits
You will cry if not during the movie, definitely by the end.
Action scenes could be a lil better though but indeed the movie is actually a good watch
