[konoko]

mood

[tongue-twists]

btw dating sucks as a concept.

[tongue-twists]

meeting up with someone with the explicit goal of figuring out whether or not you want a relationship with them spoils the dynamic. it sucks. it's terrible. fall in love with your friends like normal people.

[tongue-twists]

as expected this one is a hit with the autism website

[gay-lotus]

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i tried to microwave a popsicle

[gay-lotus]

31 hours deep into the insomniac’s gambit and i posted on the wrong blog again

[gay-lotus]

[3000s]

if you're not 26 years old right now you will be soon

[dogpuppy]

[vamqira]

ugh vampires are so good vampires are power vampires are wow i love vampires vampires speak i love vampires ugh

[ted-ursa]

my phone is truly the shapes and colours machine

[knifelesbianjo]

evil dan and phil

[mrosetta]

[pronouncingitwang]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[yokowan]

at some point in your life you will be making a sauce or a stew in which you need to add cornstarch to thicken it. and you will prepare a slurry of starch in cold water and think "this looks like way too little starch to thicken this amount of liquid." this is the devil speaking. cornstarch instantly polymerizes at 95°C and if you add too much it will turn into an impossibly thick goop.

[le-jardin-inculte]

at some point in your life you will be making some sort of cream based dessert that requires gelatin to thicken it. and you will soak some gelatin sheets in water and think "this is too few gelatin sheets for this amount of cream." this is the devil speaking. it will thicken in the fridge and if you add too much you will end up with milk jelly

[shithowdy]

at some point in your life you will be baking cookies. you will take the sheet out after twelve minutes as the recipe instructs and the cookies will still be glistening and soft. "these don't seem cooked enough," you will think to yourself, "i should place them back into the oven until their edges are nice and golden." this is the devil talking. this is how you get dry, overdone cookies. the cookies will continue to bake on the warm sheet for several more minutes and then harden up after sitting on a rack for a while. trust the process. trust the process.

[whitachi]

at some point in your life you will be adding a small pasta to a soup and you will think "that is not enough small pasta." this is the devil talking. the pasta will absorb the stock and expand. this is how you end up with a soup that is a solid mass of soggy ditalini.

[araceil]

At some point in your life you will be adding garlic to a dish and you will think "that is not enough garlic." These are angels speaking. They are correct. Add more garlic.

[cafffine]

woke up this morning, rolled over, and very confidently tried to blow out my alarm clock like a candle. absolutely no precedent for that.

[wizardshark]

In the year 1450 a priest rolls over and slams his hand into his candle, burning him and sending wax flying all over the place

[buffycaps]

BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER - 1.12: Prochecy Girl // 5.22: The Gift

[l3thalp3tal]

[seathiing]

One of my co-workers has a standing desk that he uses sitting down. It looks like this

[astronyu]

[dragongirlsnout]

y'know i don't really love how people use "butch" interchangeably with "handy"

[dragongirlsnout]

*north american approaching lesbian couple* so which one of you is useful and which one of you is the woman

[aphrostiel]

i drew buffy and giles in his wizard hat

[sluttynurse]

probably the worst attitude tumblr unintentionally cultivates is "the world out there is completely dangerous for you and no one can possibly understand you, so you should isolate yourself from it and avoid interacting with it as much as possible"

[baddywronglegs]

We're gonna have a hard time convincing future generations the phrase "Trumped-up charges" is etymologically unrelated.