Call Your Mom (LN4)
Summary: Y/n’s struggle with mental health and the journey, accompanied by Lando and her best friends, she goes through in order to get better.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: depression, mentions/inferences/an attempt of suicide, mentions of alcohol, attempted overdose (lmk if I missed any <3)
Word Count: 4,090
Note: In this song, the artist says he’ll call the person he’s talking to’s mom, but in the imagine, I changed it to Lando calling the reader’s best friends. Also, at the end of the song, the artist talks about religion (specifically religions that believe in Jesus) so, as to not assume anyone’s religion, I just didn’t address that part of the lyric in the song. Happy reading 🧡
Oh, you're spiraling again. The moment right before it ends, you're most afraid of, but don't you cancel any plans. 'Cause I won't you get the chance to never make them.
Opening the door, Lando clocked the quietness of his apartment, something he wasn't accustomed to ever since his girlfriend moved in with him. Slipping off his shoes and letting his duffel bag fall to the floor, he called out for her multiple times, but he was continually met with a loud silence.
"Y/n?" He said once more as he rounded the corner of the kitchen and made his way toward their bedroom.
If it hadn't been for the quiet, he wouldn't have heard her soft murmur, "In here."
'In here' sounded like the bedroom and his suspicions were proven true when he walked through the threshold to be met with her curled up in the duvet. Her face was towards him and, in a millisecond, he could tell she was struggling again.
Softly, he padded over to her before sitting down beside her and letting his hand come to stroke her cheek, "How was hanging out with Lily and Paige today?"
Shaking her head and turning over, Y/n told Lando she had canceled the plans and decided not to go. His disappointment was internal, something he wouldn't clue her in on because it would destroy her to know he was disappointed in her for something she can't control. Her depressive episodes were less frequent now, but they still came around every so often, and when they did, they were suffocating. After years, he had shown up enough to make her feel like he was her safe place, so when she slipped into the darkness of her mind, she didn't shut him out.
Taking off his shirt and pants, so he was only left in his boxers, he slipped under the covers and turned her around so she was facing him once again. Holding her head in his hands, he was quick to wipe away the tears under her eyes and splayed over her cheeks before kissing her nose, "I know it's hard right now, but this will pass. You will get through this one like you do the other ones. But, I'm right here with you if you ever feel like you need a hand to hold."
He seemed to get through to her as she smiled softly at him and stuffed her face into his neck. His hands circled around her as he felt her breathe in his cologne.
Tomorrow, he would call Paige and Lily, and tell them what was going on. If there were other people on the planet that could help Y/n out of the deep depths of her mind, it was her best friends.
The two girls who had been there long before he had.
—
Stayed on the line with you the entire night till you let it out and let it in. Don't let this darkness fool you. All lights turned off can be turned on. I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom.
These were the worst ones. The ones where he couldn't be there because he was in another country. These were the ones he feared the most.
Her sobbing on the other side of the phone broke his heart further as he contemplated packing up all his stuff and pulling out of the race that was just two days away. His team would be furious with him, but, at this point, he couldn't care. All he cared about was getting to her and calming the ever-flowing, horrible thoughts.
"I know you always say I get through these and I come out on the other side, but I just can't do it anymore. I don't want to do it anymore." She cried again. Her words terrified Lando like he could never explain. If she was insinuating what he thought, then pulling out of the race wouldn't be so bad. However, he didn't want to ask her because the idea of putting that in her head and having her dwell on that course of action without him was haunting.
"Remember what we always say? All lights turned off can be turned on? Y/n, that's what you are. You're a light to everyone around you. To me, to Paige and Lily, to your family, to anyone who has the privilege of meeting you, you're a bright, bright light. Just hang on for me, darling. Please. If you can't do it for yourself, do it for me." He pleaded with her as he texted quickly with Paige and Lily. The two friends were the only ones in close vicinity with Y/n and the minute he had texted them, letting each of them know she needed help, they were texting him not even a second later that they were on their way.
"Okay." It was faint, but it was there. On the other end of the line, he heard doors opening and closing along with the soft chatter of two voices he recognized immediately.
"Did you call Paige and Lily?" His girlfriend asked as the voices grew louder.
"Of course." He responded quickly.
Y/n was silent for a moment before she took in a breath, "Thank you."
Even with her muffled tone, he could hear the small smile, "Anytime, angel. I'm always here to help you."
Y/n must've forgotten to hang up the phone because he was able to hear their bedroom door open and close along with Paige's booming voice, "Hey, babe. We brought wine and romance novels. Ready to find the craziest smut and laugh at it?"
Lando smiled to himself. The three girls had been a tight-knit group since high school and had been obsessed with getting together to find into each other's delusions. He was convinced that he never laughed harder when he was included in their girl talks because they would say and do the most outrageous things. He had never met three people who would genuinely do anything for each other, whether that was murder or ordering food because the other two were too nervous to do it themselves.
The conversation continued as he heard Paige and Lily plop down onto the bed, "Was that Lando?" Lily asked.
He could see Y/n's nod in his head, "Yeah, he was just talking with me. You know, being the disgustingly perfect human being he is."
Paige groaned, "Ugh, he really is disgusting. He's like those book boyfriends we used to obsess over when we were in high school. I mean, seriously Y/n, he's perfect. I was genuinely worried when you said you were dating an F1 driver because most of those guys are just players, but I think he's the one for you."
Lando's smile intensified as he heard Paige's truthful opinion of him. When they first got together, he knew impressing her best friends was of utmost importance. If he didn't get their stamp of approval, he was done for. So he had gotten flowers for each of them and had paid for the entire lunch they had. Lily was easy to win over with that lunch, but Paige had twisted his gestures in a way that made him seem shallow. His flowers were over-the-top and obvious, and paying for lunch was flaunting his money. It had taken a few months to get through to the girl, but after a lengthy conversation where it became apparent to him how protective she was over Y/n, Lando assured her he would protect her just the same.
Y/n's laughing brought Lando back to the conversation he was eavesdropping on, "How does that position even work?"
Clearly he had zoned out long enough to not notice the transition from the topic of him to dirty romance novels, but he didn't really care because Y/n was laughing and that was good.
That was really, really good.
—
Waiting room, no place to stand. Just greatest fears, and wringing hands and the loudest silence.
He didn't know how it got to that point, to be completely honest. One moment, he had gotten off the phone with her and the next he was getting a call from Paige, who was in a clear fit of distress as she spit out she had gotten an alarming text from Y/n that sounded too much like a goodbye. In fear, Lando stood up abruptly in his meeting and ran out, telling everyone he had a family emergency. He had probably broken multiple laws as he sped through intersections and school zones to get to her. His car hadn't even fully stopped before he was flying out of it and shoving open the door to their apartment. He didn't clock the silence this time because all he could hear was the shower and the steady stream of water.
The door was locked as he tried to get in and he began banging on the door, yelling for Y/n to come out. Tears flooded his vision as he pleaded with her to open the door or at least give him some confirmation she was okay, but nothing came. All he could hear was the sick and twisted sound of water hitting tile flooring. It didn't take his mind more than two seconds to come to the conclusion he would have to break the door down and when he did, he was met with Y/n and a bottle of pills in her hand.
She seemed coherent which was a good sign, but Lando saw the tears flying down her face as she stared at the bottle. He was quick to kneel down before her and gently take the bottle of her hands, "Did you take them?" He asked assertively.
When she didn't answer, he asked more forcefully, "Y/n, did you take them?"
She shook her head 'no' and Lando let out a strangled sob.
"Y/n, baby, you need help. You need to get on medication and see a therapist. It will help you, I promise. Please, just-" He took a breath to try and calm down, "Just let me get you the help you need."
So, that's how he found himself in the dim waiting room of the hospital with clammy palms and a loud mind.
"Lando." Paige's voice appeared from behind him and as he turned around, he saw her tear-stained cheeks.
"She was about to do it when I got there. If I hadn't gotten there when I did, she-" Lando's tears cut him off as his head fell into his hands and he broke down once more. He didn't know what he would've done if he hadn't gotten there as soon as he did.
Paige's hand on his back reminded him that she was Y/n's best friend and was probably going through the same emotions. Letting his head turn so he could meet her gaze, he asked, "How are you? Is Lily coming?"
Paige sighed, "I'm as good as I can be in this kind of situation and Lily's on her way, but she won't be here for a few hours. She was on a business trip when it happened."
He nodded as he sat back, shrugging off Paige's hand that he wished was Y/n's. The two sat next to each other as they stared off into the distance, leaving words unsaid as they waited to hear what was going on with Y/n's psych evaluation.
If you could see yourself like this, if you could see yourself like this, you'd have never tried it.
As he stared down at his lock screen, he reminisced on an easier time. The picture was of the two at his parent's house when he got the call that he would be in F1. They were sitting next to each other at the dining room table, their faces lit up with smiles as they looked at each other. Y/n's hands were up in the air, seconds from wrapping him in a hug, and his were already on her, two arms around her waist. It was a split-second moment only picked up on by the video his mom had been taking at the time, but he liked this photo more than the one of the them actually hugging because it seemed more genuine. A quick moment that was just them and her happiness for him.
She had seen the photo multiple times, but Lando didn't think she had really seen it. He didn't think she had actually took note of how beautiful her smile looked or how pretty her eyes sparkled or the way he looked at her or how, in that moment, he wasn't looking at his phone which had just told him his lifelong dream was coming true, but at the girl who had been his true dream all along. He wondered if he had shown her all these small things maybe she wouldn't have gotten to this point, to the point where she wanted to end it all. His mind wandered to places where this was his fault, where he should have tried harder to show her how loved she was.
However, before he could spiral deeper, the sight of her doctor approaching them made him stand up and forget about everything else, but her.
"How is she?" He immediately asked as Paige and Lily stood up beside him. Lily had gotten there about an hour before, rambling on about how sorry she was that she couldn't be there sooner.
"She's doing better, however, it is my professional opinion that she stays here for a few more days before she goes home. I would like to put her on antidepressants and give her the information for a therapist I think could really help her. Are you her husband?" The doctor spoke.
Lando shook his head, "No, just her boyfriend."
The doctor nodded, "Okay, I'm going to need to ask you a few questions about how long this has been going on and such." His gaze shifted to the two girls standing beside Lando, "Are you her friends?"
The two nodded, "Okay, she's been asking for you. Paige and Lily, is it? You can visit her if you'd like."
Before he knew it, Paige and Lily were leaving his side to go tend to the girl that was more their sister than their friend.
Leaving just him and the doctor, the questions began, "How long has she been struggling this way?"
"Well, she's always struggled with depression, but it's gotten worse over the past year. Her episodes haven't been as often, but they're worse when they come now." Lando answered just as the doctor began nodding.
Down the hall, Paige and Lily were lying on each side of Y/n's hospital bed.
"Why, Y/n?" Paige asked from her squished position.
Y/n shook her head, "I don't know. I just- I got off the phone with Lando and something just snapped in me. I've burdened all of you with my problems for so long, I couldn't do it anymore. I can't imagine how sick Lando must be of having to be at my beck and call every two seconds. I'm just done forcing you guys to be there for me."
Paige and Lily eyed each other from over their friend's head, "Y/n," Lily began, "you are not burdening anyone with your problems. You've never ever been doing that. We show up for you because we want to, not because we have to. You've been Paige and I's family for so long, of course we're going to want to be there for you when you're struggling. And Lando? Lando was out there crying into his hands because he thinks this is his fault, that he didn't try as hard as he could. None of us feel forced by you to be there for you. That's never been the case. We love you, so we're going to show up no matter what."
By the end of it, all three girls were crying and Paige decided this would be a good time to hug each of them. Extending her arms out so they could reach over to Lily and squish Y/n in the middle, she squeezed both of them. With soft giggling and small smiles, Lily and Y/n both wrapped their arms around the other two. It was a quiet moment as they hugged, letting the gesture speak for itself, before the door to the room was opening and Lando was coming in.
Lily and Paige took that as their cue to go get some snacks from the cafeteria as Lando sat in the chair beside the bed, taking her hand in his.
Small tears began to flow down his face at her breathing form, "I'm so glad you're okay."
Y/n wiped his tears away with the hand that wasn't caged by him and whispered, "I'm sorry you had to see that."
Lando's glossy eyes looked up at her, "You have nothing to be sorry for, baby. I love you and anything you go through is something I want to help you through. At the end of the day, I'm just glad I get to tell you 'I love you' again."
Her own tears began to flow at his sweet words and as he squeezed her hand, planting a kiss on her knuckles, she realized her light might just be turning on again.
—
Medicate, meditate, save yourself for Jesus, throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason.
With the medication and therapy sessions, Y/n was finally finding her way back to herself. She was beginning to find recovery fun as her, Paige, Lily, and Lando all had Saturdays where they would go out and do yoga and meditate together. At first, when all three of them presented the idea to her, she thought it was incredibly ridiculous, but after the first session, she fell in love with it. Whether it was the laughs they shared as Lando made weird noises during the quietness of their meditation or the realization that she could get lost in her mind without falling into a deep, dark void, she fell in love with those Saturdays.
Sure, recovery was also hard, but she was learning to fight and throw punches at the dark memories and thoughts that would pass her brain.
It was nice to see Lando realizing he was getting her back too. She could see it in the way his eyes shimmered when she would crack a joke or finally fulfill plans without canceling them. She didn't realize it when she was going through it, but, in the midst of her depression, Lando had been watching his favorite person get lost in themselves and he couldn't do anything. She couldn't imagine the sort of pain he must've had to push aside, so he could help her, and after multiple tearful conversations about it, Lando had hugged Y/n and told her he would never be mad at her for struggling and needing help.
It was like her whole world had been in black and white, and now, it was full of color. She could genuinely smile at the crazy paragraphs they would find in romance novels on their wine-filled nights, and laugh at the two girls planning her imaginary wedding to her boyfriend.
After it all, Paige had had a conversation with Lando that Y/n wasn't aware of, well, not yet that is. She had asked Lando if he saw Y/n in his future and when he had dug into his pocket to pull out a box that held a large, shimmery ring, she smiled giddily. They both knew a proposal was something that would have to happen a little later because Y/n needed time to fully get back to herself before her life was changing again, but they knew it was inevitable.
Lando would be asking Y/n to marry him, one way or another.
—
I'll drive, I'll drive all night. I'll call your mom. I'll call your mom.
As he was driving, he couldn't wipe the smile off his face. After a year or two of recovering, Y/n was finally herself again and when Paige had texted Lando, telling him Y/n had just admitted she would say yes to Lando if he asked her to marry him over wine, he stopped what he was doing in his meeting and said he had to go. He couldn't wait any longer.
He needed to ask her to marry him.
The drive was way too long for his liking and as he flew out of his car before it even stopped, he got deja vu. The last time he was pulling up to their house this way, it had been for an entirely different, horrific reason. But, now, the only reason why he would stay up on the phone with her was because he never wanted to stop talking, because they could finally put aside the pain of it all and just be in love. He almost cried on the spot because he had an overwhelming rush of pride for his girl and how strong she had been to fight so hard and come out on the other side. Due to her not giving up, he had the privilege of asking her to marry him.
Walking through the door, the quick and loud chattering came to an abrupt stop. It was quiet for a moment before Y/n's voice called out to him, "Lando?"
He smiled, "Yes, baby?"
There was a clatter of glasses on their coffee table and feet hitting the hardwood floor before she was appearing around the corner in all his radiance.
"What are you doing home so early?" She asked as her eyebrows furrowed.
He pulled her into him, giving her a light kiss on her lips before smiling mischievously at her, "Why? You got another man in there?" He joked with her.
She laughed, "No, you know I would never do that, dumbass."
As they entered the dining room, being met with Paige's and Lily's smiling faces at the happy couple, they sat down on the couch as Lando eyed the half empty bottle of wine. Paige had an inkling about what he was going to do considering she sent the text and was met with his telling her he was on his way.
"So, why are you here so early?" Y/n asked as his arm laid over her shoulders and she snuggled further into him.
Lando sucked in a breath, suddenly nervous, "I needed to ask you a question."
Y/n's brows furrowed, "Oh? What's up?"
"Marry me?" He said immediately as he pulled out the box he had been carrying around for years.
Y/n's mouth fell open as her eyes began to glisten with tears and she met the gaze of her best friends, glad they were here to share this moment with her.
"My love, I have loved you for years and we've been through hell and back together. When we were finally able to rest, I realized that there is no one else in this world that I would rather go through hell and back with. I fall in love with you every single day and your strength amazes me continuously. You deserve so much after everything you've been through and I'm asking if you'll let me be the man to give it all to you and more." He finished and took the ring out of the box, taking her hand in his and looking at her with his calming green eyes.
She smiled the biggest she ever had in the past few years, "Of course, Lando. Always."
As he slipped the ring onto her finger, Paige and Lily shot up from their seated positions on the floor and started shrieking with excitement, hugging each other and jumping up and down. As the couple kissed softly, their yelling intensified.
And as Y/n continued smiling at Lando, she looked around the room only to find a small family that had done everything they could to keep her alive.
