That Awesome Blog About Stuff

Ultimate Frisbee, Cats, Bad Jokes

[teddytrumpet]

God this hurts

[teddytrumpet]

Pretty sure I’m falling for this girl

[jefferoni-quotes]

The Onion Headlines + Hamilton

[valtsv]

majoring in: blood magic

minoring in: penis curse

[valtsv]

[resilientpear]

[hullaballoons]

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

[meet-foreverjester]

“Bees?”

“HE PICKED THE BEES!!” *chefs angrily shake jars of bees*

[teddytrumpet]

Fuck today lol

[teddytrumpet]

[teddytrumpet]

I could give up right now and no one would know

[teddytrumpet]

Back on my shit again

[teddytrumpet]

I could give up right now and no one would know

[seaalgae]

normal brain: playing pokemon B/W as a nuzlocke or efficient playthrough proves N right because you turned your pokemon into tools for your own personal gain

galaxy brain: playing pokemon X/Y without using mega evolution proves Lysandre right, because you are presented with a scarcity scenario with the mega ring and you use your strength to selfishly decide that nobody should have or use one

universe brain: Resetting pokemon D/P/Pt proves Cyrus right because you have full control over the game’s universe and can freely remake it in your image on a whim.

[rivalseren]

[archanonhiru]

Nothing proves Archie and Maxie right because they are morons.

[thenatsdorf]

Mlem mlem mlem

[vitrified-vitriol-deactivated20]

Me flavored water

[pwesident]

Taste Like

Stinky

[bardknocklife]

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

as a bisexual, some of the shit y’all try to claim is “bi erasure” is just fucking BANANAS 

[theglowpt2-deactivated20200101]

I AM ON THE FLOOR

[hyper-lesbian]

They’ve struggled so much to get this one sentence out and I feel really bad

[meangirlnurse]

today Meatball abruptly realized that there are refugee office plants in the kitchen (they have been there for weeks) and has decided his singular purpose in life is to eat them 

[meangirlnurse]

we put up a 4 foot tall step-through baby gate when we brought the plants home, but it turns out he can actually squeeze his body through the bars. not in a dignified way, mind you. but he can 

[meangirlnurse]

we have foiled him with a two-gate system: a short one with small openings that he can’t squeeze through, and the tall one that he can’t jump over. he is now sitting outside our kitchen door rattling the gates with his stupid little mitten hands like an animated ghost prisoner in a Spirit Halloween decoration 

[crafty-butch]

update: we underestimated him

[crafty-butch]

[meangirlnurse]

why are your doors closed to the public 

[evil-dad-evil]

is this the same Meatball with the Hanukkah sweater????

[meangirlnurse]

it sure is 

you may also know him as the Meatball who tried to jump into my toilet and the violent sweatervest-wearing accountant cat 

[numberlover1729]

tiny accountant harasses human, eats plants

[meangirlnurse]

i mean he has to find some way to unwind from his high-pressure job 

[meangirlnurse]

update:

[the-one-the-only-derpghost]

So how do you guys… get in there anymore?

[meangirlnurse]

well my original game plan was opening the white gate and kind of shoving my body through the gap between the wood gate and the grey gate and i am excited to announce that this was not a good idea at all

[meangirlnurse]

update: was woken up at 7 AM this morning by Meatball repeatedly taking a running leap at the gates, bouncing off the top one, and then sitting on the floor outside the kitchen beeping confusedly 

[meangirlnurse]

HOW

[teddytrumpet]

I hate cardio

[teddytrumpet]

So I’m moving to Michigan