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@teehanu
"It hurts to love. It's like giving yourself to be flayed and knowing that at any moment the other person may just walk off with your skin." - Susan Sontag
@gofish05 Enormous brain thank you, I did need to make this its own post however because I do have thoughts about this, namely:
There is no universe in which Yuna Hollander has not, unfortunately, seen her son-in-law's dick.
Hollanov's sex life is extremely active. This is canonical. Even when they are Going Through It in TLG, they are having sex the entire time. I believe at one point Shane puts it in such a way to imply that they aren't talking except to argue but they ARE fucking. I have said before that I believe they would continue fucking even if they divorced. Knowing this, I believe that several things are true:
1. Yuna becomes slowly aware of just how horny her only child is. This is a fire that everyone must jump into, eventually, with their parents/adult children. After the frying pan of child rearing and childhood comes the flames of knowing each other as adults. For every moment sitting in the kitchen hearing the saddest words ever spoken come out like a confession from the mouth of your grown child (Yuna has many of these moments with both Shane and Ilya) there also comes a moment where you realize that your child is a sexual being. It's spiritual payback for when your child sat down one day after having The Talk and realized that you had to fuck to make them.
2. This is how Yuna, God BLESS her soul, finally figures out that despite loving him more than life itself, she HAS failed Shane in a number of ways, chief among them being that she has never given him enough privacy. And yes it IS seeing the fully erect penis of her son-in-law that does it for her. She has a moment soon after the Cottage when she has barged into Shane's house and she's just popping in! Just seeing how things are going! And at no point did she even think to make sure that it's not one of the few precious days that Ilya could make it up from Boston. She comes around the corner of the entryway and there in the kitchen in full daylight is her son bent over the kitchen table and yes, Ilya has put himself in front of him but Ilya is ALSO naked and--it's there. It's out. And Yuna immediately walks back out the door and crouches on the front porch and tries not to die of embarrassment. And when Shane opens the door to her, bright cherry red almost ten minutes later and not making eye contact, she at first wants to be mad. Because that's her son, and it's broad daylight, and the windows are open, and it seems disrespectful to Shane as a person to just DO THAT to him--
And then she realizes that A. She has no right to think like this because it is Shane's house and Shane's boyfriend and she has no real say over the way those two things combine and B. Shane is an adult. Shane, unfortunately (...fortunately? Yuna has always wanted her child to find love and be cherished) probably wanted EXACTLY what was happening.
These are things that Yuna needed to realize and she will recognize this. But it's suuuuper uncomfy when it happens. And it continues to be uncomfy for awhile! She apologizes to them and things are awkward with them (Moreso with Ilya than Shane, to be honest--the man really does look like he wants to be launched into space) but she's learned her lesson, at least somewhat. There are growing pains yet to come with this whole new dynamic, adding Ilya to the family and everything that comes with it. It's a trial by fire but flowers grow in its wake.
3. Yuna sits up in bed for several hours in the dark and then, very suddenly, turns on the light and leans over David and shakes him awake.
"David."
"Was' happ'nin?"
"David. I really am a little worried. I'm sorry, I just can't stop thinking--David, the--the size? And how often are they--is it healthy? Could it--"
"Yuna. Please go to sleep, hon."
"David--"
"He's an adult, Yuna. I'm sure they're careful. Please stop thinking about it. For all our sakes."
he ran after him btw. he noticed him leaving and followed him.
wow this is crazy.. thank you soso much!
if you like that one (or other stuff drawn by me) and have twitter you can also support me over there! i would appreciate it greatly
let's meet soon
My favorite Star Wars character in each Star Wars movie/show pt. 1
From The Acolyte we have Yord Fandor, the Jedi with a yellow lightsaber and the personality of Marge Simpson (complimentary). He’s well meaning but ineffectual, which is a perfect microcosm of the Jedi order in the series.
Everyone who talks about tales of the Jedi, talks about how good the Dooku stuff was, and with good reason.
Episode I - The Phantom Menace gives us the platonic ideal for a Jedi (aside from unintentionally setting off the dominos that would lead to the rise of the empire) Qui-gon Jinn, a Jedi so offbeat he bothers the Jedi council.
I don’t know when the Cad Bane flashbacks in Tales of the Underworld take place in canon, but I’ll hazard a guess. Anyway blue cowboy man cool.
Spoilers it’s gonna be Obi-wan for the next few projects. Obi-wan is great because he’s only cool by accident. He’s always either the smartest person in the room or deeply under-qualified. Case in point, Episode II - Attack of the Clones features an Obi-wan who is constantly way in over his head and trying to fall upward.
Clone Wars (2003) Obi-wan is a little more hyper competent, this version leans more into his cool side. He’s a badass military leader who is this close to giving up trying to wrangle Anakin.
The Clone Wars movie is the first time we really see Obi-wan’s negotiator persona used effectively. more to come…
Lil illustration for a wonderful fic Change your win conditions
HEATED RIVALRY (2025–) – 1.06: The Cottage
Give me Shane awkwardly trying "queer culture" things that Ilya and Harris try to introduce him to and hating it.
Give me Shane "hates clubbing and bars" Hollander not minding Kingfisher in the afternoon but refusing to go at night. Give me Shane never understanding the slang (he's never online) and being overstimulated by drag brunch (it's so LOUD and nothing fits his diet even once he loosens it a little and brunch as a concept throws off his entire routine) and utterly bored by any TV show that isn't the latest game replay (is this reality TV? Is it a drama? He can't remember and he can't tell the difference but honestly he'd rather be watching hockey) and unable to remember the difference between Lady Gaga and Cher (he never listens to music anyway) and completely disinterested in changing his wardrobe (for fancy events he wears whatever his stylist tells him to but not anything adventurous, because he just wants to look acceptable not make a statement).
Give me Shane feeling alienated from gay culture the way he sometimes feels alienated from Japanese culture and being so frustrated that being himself, exactly as he is, still isn't good enough for anyone.
Give me a Shane Hollander who doesn't want to be "the gay hockey player" the same way he doesn't want to be "the Asian hockey player" but he'll suck it up because he's such an inspiration, don't you know how many kids look up to you? Don't you know how much it matters to them to see you out there loud and proud?
Give me Shane finally snapping at Ilya that clearly he's not "super gay" if he's so bad at it, because he's sick and tired of everyone being disappointed that he's not up on whatever the latest queer culture trend is and he does not want to be a "gay icon," he just wants to play hockey and love his husband, and he's not magically a different person now that everyone knows he's gay.
Give me Ilya reckoning with how coming out has only put more expectations on Shane's shoulders and noticing the roles Shane is always forced into - the Asian player, the gay player - and understanding a bit more why privacy seemed like a better guarantee of freedom to Shane than openness.
Give me Ilya promising Shane that he loves him exactly as he is, jocky and offline and dedicated to hockey, that he never has to change anything about himself to seem more palatable to anyone, and fuck anyone who thinks Shane isn't *anything* enough, because he's always been perfect for Ilya.
I love the everyone wants to fuck Shane Hollander agenda so picture like, Ilya at a team member's bachelor party and the whole Raiders team is there and everyone is drunk and they're playing games and just yelling out answers at the same time to questions like what's your favourite position and age you lost your virginity and giving each other shit for the answers but then there's what player you would go gay for and suddenly the whole team yells Shane Hollander at once to stunned silence afterwards and Ilya has the worst fucking night of his life
I had so much fun this month: soulmate geese, married in Vegas, time loops, sugar babies, oh my! Happy May, everyone!
oh, to be completely at your beck and call (how i long to be your dog by milominderbinder / @milominderbindered (3161)
Years into their messy situationship, it takes sleeping with another man for Shane to figure out that he's gay. Ilya finds this out later.
the coast is not clear by WriteThroughTheNight (8252)
“My flight is early tomorrow,” Rozanov says. He bites his lip. Shane’s eyes stick there too. “You look in hallway, yes?”
Shane sticks his head out. The hallway is empty.
Would it hurt? To go another round? Rozanov has to fly out early anyway, it’s hardly like they’ll be spending time befriending each other. What is one night, when they’ve already crossed the line with eyes wide open?
“Shit,” he says. “There’s a couple at the end of the hallway, arguing, you know? You better wait until they leave.”
OR
Shane lies, that first night, to keep Rozanov to himself a little longer. The changes spiral out from there.
Like Crazy (Lost in the Lights) by orangememory / @orangememory (10166)
Username: Goodboy24
Profile photo: his torso, cut off at the neck. Abs visible. Grey sweatpants slung low on his hips, the thick outline of his cock visible through the fabric - half-hard, because Shane knows what sells.
Bio: 21. Athlete. Busy schedule. Looking for discreet arrangements. Open to all genders for now. Versatile. No face pics until we meet. Discretion is mandatory.
Sweet, staid Shane Hollander is a Sugar baby. He doesn't need the money, but the thrill of secretly rebelling against his fame entices him. He undergoes a wild sexual awakening journey, and runs into his dear arch rival Rozanov 5 years after he starts doing this. And it gets wilder.
Gym Etiquette by petalborn (11586)
The athletic center has a gym floor, a shower block, a recovery pool, and a sauna. Shane has done something he regrets in all four of them.
Or - 3 times Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov almost get caught fooling around in the athletic center, and the 1 time they actually do.
Maybe Eight Years Is Enough by ItsMayBiTheWay (12592)
The pounding on the door is what jolts Shane awake. Instinctively he tries to jump to his feet and rush to get it, but a heavy weight around his torso and on top of his legs prevents him from moving. As consciousness slowly returns to him, breaking through the haze of his hangover—and possible still-drunken state—he realizes that he is being held by Rozanov.
“Shane Hollander, open the door, now!”
“Oh my god, oh my fucking god. Jesus fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fucking hell. That is my fucking mother.”
OR
After getting drunk at the 2016 NHL Awards, Shane Hollander wakes up married to Ilya Rozanov
Busted by AC91 (13250)
Hayden just wanted to surprise Shane with a guy’s night in. Shane had been flat lately, and he and JJ thought it would be nice to distract him with friendship.
How they ended up stuck in a fucking closet watching Shane get dicked down harder than anyone in the history of the world has ever been dicked down, Hayden would never quite understand.
like puzzle pieces from the clay by beautifulduckweed / @beautifulduckweed (15389)
The universe had decided Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were perfect for each other, so it sent them an unmistakable sign. Unfortunately, the two of them have a lot of practice in mistaking things. So the universe tries again, and again.
Or: how many soulmate tropes does it take to get two oblivious hockey boys together?
Tuna Melts and Longitudinal Studies by OpalApparition (20175)
I (26M) want to invite man I sleep with (26M) to my house to spend the weekend. Help me not ruin it.
Or: Ilya Rozanov goes to the internet for dating advice
The shape of things we know by sistercacao / @scacao-blog (34332)
“Where are you going?”
“To the arena, Hollander. We are playing a game in three hours.”
“That’s tomorrow, Rozanov,” Hollander says, smirking like Ilya might be fucking with him and he wants to make sure he’s in on the joke. He looks behind and around him. “Um, can I come inside?”
“Hollander, we have game today. You were here yesterday.”
Hollander is striding toward his kitchen, looking over his shoulder at Ilya like he’s getting tired of the joke. “Very funny. I was in Montreal yesterday, Rozanov.”
Or: Ilya Rozanov in Groundhog Day!
everytime i leave by fckingfreckles (38557)
ilya rozanov did not plan to spend the majority of his rookie season in a hospital. then again, he didn't plan on shane hollander either.
__
or, the whump fic. based on my own tweet: a fic where 17 yr old shane is a [redacted] ill patient and ilya is the rookie his team drags to the children’s hospital. he falls in love w freckles and can’t stop visiting shane every chance he gets.
Rookie Mistakes by isto4u / @isto4u (88245)
Shane is two years younger than Ilya and they play for the same team.
But what if Shane was a bit wilder, less afraid to experiment sexually, and a bit more of a typical ice hockey guy?
Get ready for teammates to friends to friends with benefits to lovers.
the ten step plan by WriteThroughTheNight (95714)
In Vegas, after they’d said everything right up to the edge of I love you, Shane and Ilya came up with a plan. It was long term, with many, many steps. There might be a spreadsheet somewhere that Shane won’t admit to.
But it’s a plan, nonetheless. Over the summer of 2014, they tweak it and add things important to the both of them. There are even many, extensive, contingency plans.
OR
Thanks to Shane's small lie the first time they hooked up, Shane and Ilya are together years earlier. Now, they have to figure out what to do about it.
frequently, secretly fond of each other by milominderbinder / @milominderbindered (222222)
A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.
Total number of fics read: 44 (that’s 2.4 mil words!) across two fandoms
The deadset determination with which Shane starts to persue Ilya once he allows himself to actually feel his emotions is nothing short of poetic. Shane is an immovable object until he becomes the unstoppable force. All the time he held himself back by compartmentalisation and represssion, but once the switch is flicked, his love for Ilya drives him forward, steadily and so bravely. He gets on his mission to get his man back in Tampa. Gently but persistently works his way through Ilya's emotional barriers. Doesn't even let a concussion stop him from inviting Ilya to his cottage, bravely sharing his sacred privacy. Making plans for Ilya, himself and their future, while honoring Irina. Stands shaking and afraid infront of his parents and tells them he loves Ilya. Shane is deeply commited to Ilya and he would move the world for him.
Some art about coffee and certainly nothing else
Home Sweet Home 🌃🌙
#ilya baby get behind me
HEY HELLO JUST GIVE ME THE GUN INSTEAD
(sorry @joyousmistake these tags killed me)
hollanov hall of fame (fic rec masterlist)
some popular some not so popular fics that i adore. asterisks are favs that i can't be normal about.
character study
rookie of the year by medric / @bluegrasshole*
rozanov – not on hockey / vdud' (eng) by werevolche / gotthesunshinex *
mosquito by gone_girl
au (hockey, or not)
vessel by medric / @bluegrasshole*
clear to a hedgehog by @magneticwave*
for the right reasons by @citrusses*
house of mirrors by ratherunnecessary
win and bear it by anonymous (public plea to please...update)
hurts so good (angst/whump)
penalties by @citrusses*
show me how to be whole again by @rozanohwell*
send me back a thousand days by @rozanohwell*
if only a prayer by absolutelyhollanov*
dogging by @radialarch
everything else (yum yum )
running down the hills by hockeyfinches
ballad of a bisexual terminator by pressuretoparty
torture me (with all i’ve wanted) by toomuchplor
like for like by @smugrobotics*
love takes a mile by corsi
that'll leave a mark by subcorax
forget there's any other place by anonymous
serendipity by ummrys
Landing at Point Rain