An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Summary:
Ilya was used to hazing. He had been subjected to it, he had participated in it, and, as a captain, he had stood guard over the rookies and protected them from anything truly harmful. But if he had been asked, Ilya would have approved of this prank. He would have authorized it, given Cliff and Vicky his seal of approval, perhaps even helped orchestrate it.
Any other day, Ilya might have been happy to play along.
But, in perfect dramatic irony, it had not happened any other day. It had happened today. And, cherry on top, of course the rookie had to walk in when Shane was already freaking out about Ilya saying his name.
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A prank-gone-wrong leads to the Boston Bears finding out about Shane and Ilya’s relationship in 2016. The day Ilya first invited Shane into his house. Right after they say each other’s names for the first time. Fuck his life, honestly.
The author's note says "boston bears, you barely exist in cannon, why do i love you so?" and I cannot relate to anything more omgggg. I love this fic so much. I love Boston. I love you 😍💋
Low key, I liked Scream 7. Idk what everyone is on, talking about it being bad. Like, it's a mother daughter pair kicking the ass of an annoying PTA mom. What's not to love??? Also, it's a horror movie wtf are you expecting, an Oscar worthy monolog or some shit?
Actually FUCK IT list of times Shane calls Ilya baby:
- Ilya gets a sunburn during the first cottage summer and neither of them realize it until Ilya is taking his shirt off that night and Shane sees the lobster-red flush across his shoulders. He sucks in a hiss through his teeth and says, "Oh, baby, ouch," and presses the big, broad pads of his fingertips so tenderly to Ilya's shoulder and Ilya has to close his eyes because he feels like he's going to crack apart.
- When he answers the phone and he's alone. "Hi baby," said so softly if it's been a long day. Or a hard one. Or if it's late. "Hey baby," more energetically, usually in the morning, in a way that reminds Ilya of how his teammates answer the phone to their girlfriends and wives. Masculine and jockish and very North American in a way that makes Ilya feel pleased for Shane, in a weird way.
- Glass on the floor in the kitchen. Ilya blindly following the sound of the shatter and not really even thinking about it until he's standing amongst the shards and Shane is gesturing frantically with the broom. "Put on some fucking shoes, baby, please! Fuck, where are your slides--no, don't move, I'll get them--"
- Said gently, as a question, on days when he perhaps stays in bed longer than can be justified by sleepiness.
- "Hey, baby," said some mornings when Ilya comes downstairs dressed for the day and Shane really likes his outfit. Usually an indication that Ilya will not be wearing those clothes for very long.
- In bed less often than you'd think. Really a vanilla sex only thing, because being called baby can sometimes bring Ilya out of it when he's really in the groove. But Shane will lose it a little sometimes, when Ilya says, "Tell me you like it," and Shane says, "Yes baby fuck fuck I like it fuck please don't stop fuck baby please let me cum" and that's. Very good. Obviously.
- Said with a very particular warning lilt and only AFTER Shane has already said, "Ilya." and then, "Rozanov." In the same tone. This is actually one of only two circumstances where the very elusive 'babe' comes into play. If Shane REALLY wants Ilya to stop whatever he's doing or saying, it's a hand around the wrist and the word, "Babe," quiet but firm. And it does shut Ilya up approximately 100% of the time.
- Other instance of 'babe': Any sort of crowd. 'Ilya' is three syllables (Because Shane...pronounces it a bit wrong.) and unique enough that Shane sometimes worries about drawing attention. 'Babe' is one syllable and can be barked above the crowd in the Captain Hollander voice loud enough that Ilya will have no choice but to hear him if he's within the surrounding 500 feet. They have Marco-Polo'd themselves back to each other with 'BABE' and 'SHANE' multiple times in multiple countries.
- One time someone accidently brings several bottles of fortified wine to the barbecue. It's quite high proof for wine and several people get tipsier than normal, including Shane. Halfway through the evening he puts his head on Ilya's shoulder and plays with his fingers and murmurs, "My baby," into the seam of his shirt and Ilya, looking down at him so fondly, says, "Yes. Yours. Drink some water for me, sweetheart."
- "YES BABY." Yelled directly in Ilya's face during goal cellies. Obviously. This is also the first thing Ilya hears when the ringing in his ears stops after he scores the game-winning goal in overtime in game seven of the Stanley Cup finals. Knees on the ice, sobbing, screaming, laughing, and his husband barrels towards him at damn near light speed, tackles him, skids onto his knees and sends them sliding along the ice together, knocks Ilya's helmet off and puts his hands on his face and yells Yes baby! Fuck yes, baby! We did it!
ilya responds to ig q&a questions that say ‘whats it like to be a fucking f*ggot?’ with a picture of shane in a backwards cap and a white tshirt casually lifting the hem to wipe his mouth with one hand so his abs are exposed while he’s holding ilyas hand with the other, with the text ‘VERY AWESOME 😍👍’
i love Not to jump the gun here but with rozanov’s permission…? i think shane in that scene was feeling fiercely protective over another person for the first time in his life. so bowled over by the intensity of his own emotions that he stumbled back to his hotel room in a daze and immediately jerked off in the shower about it. “what if rozanov got arrested and i had to use my immense hockey wealth to bail him out of jail and it was winter in boston. so he had hypothermia. and he had to live with me while we sorted out the legal situation and i yelled at journalists for him and helped him with his paperwork and hired the best lawyer in the world and nursed him back to health and he was like “hollander……..you saved my life 🥺” and he fucked me soooo hard every night for stress relief (obviously he couldn’t fuck other people. due to the lawsuit) and we fell asleep in each other’s arms afterwards. because there’s only one bed in my apartment and he’s too tall for the couch” stuff like that. normal fantasies
Ilya felt like his smile was going to split his face. He was overwhelmingly happy. Shane was beaming up at him, eyes bright and freckles crinkled, and Ilya loved him. And Shane loved him. Holy fucking shit. Shane Hollander is in love with me.
Big dick Shane Hollander x humiliation kink = Ilya: look at this big useless dick, what a waste. Too bad you like taking it so much, with a big dick like this I bet you’d hit the spot with every thrust….or something like that send tweet
cliff marleau lives his life on vibes alone, he doesnt claim to be gay or bi or pansexual, he just likes sex and good people, and he doesnt care what form that comes in just that whoever hes with is having an equally good time. this however does not mean that a threesome with roz was not his queer awakening, because it absolutely was.
SIGNUPS: MAY 23TH - JUNE 6TH 21:00 HRS (UTC-4)
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I think it’s both Shane’s worst nightmare and also lowkey a fantasy of his to imagine Ilya being outed and Shane having to swoop in to rescue him. I think that boy has more than a little savior complex the way he agonizes over Ilya’s citizenship more than Ilya even does
I think a persistent daydream of his is like oh no what if Ilya was outed by an evil ex boyfriend (that fucking coach’s son probably…) and Shane had to use his considerable resources and influence to protect him like oh no. Maybe they’d even have to get married right away. Maybe Ilya would need to move in to hide from the scrutiny. Maybe he’d be sad all the time and Shane would have to hug him and pet his hair. Hmm
Okay ladies, I need some clarification. It's bad luck to touch the cup if you haven't won it, but good luck to put your baby in it after you've won, right? But wouldn't that mean your kid can never play hockey/expect to win the cup? Is there some weird work around, or am I just overthinking the Cup Magic and should stop worrying about it? Thank you and God bless.
