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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@teh-donut
being as i am an idiot, and having been one my whole life, i just wanna say that i find it very easy to do nothing, and go nowhere. i eat chocolate late at night in the dark. i stand in the garden also. and i’m often waiting for something to happen. and i’m stupid.
The moment she pulled THAT out, i SWEAR I thought they were gonna come running.
@sleepy-milkbread
insane unsolicited notification i just got that took me way too long to realise was about the michael jackson movie and not a five nights at freddy's jumpscare
benefits of using 10 different kinds of adblocking software and exclusively pirating media: you start receiving marketing from the creepypasta universe
@ambiguousforestcryptid @mx-quarter
i see posts here about how people are so mortified when they are acknowledged as being a regular customer somewhere that they never return. cowards. the employees at taco bell treat me like a celebrity. like royalty. i am their strange little pet customer who gets traded along as staff comes and goes. they know my car before i even speak in the drive-thru speaker. today i was 2 hours late and she ran over and squealed that she "thought i'd left them!" and that she "made my order with extra love!" and you what, she did
it's funny that this is getting notes again, because last night i went to the thai place in my neighborhood. it's run by a family and during covid times i ate there literally almost every day. later i cut back on eating out so much and hadn't been there in two years but last night we went and ate inside for the first time ever and the owner ran over to say hello and ask how i was, and repeated our old regular order. it was sweet. it's so easy to feel like you are an island, but stuff like this reminds you that you are part of a community.
One time i went to the bakery near my home and just as i entered the put out a fresh tray of spinach cheese ham crossiants, and when i ordered one they just told me its on the house
I would like to share the story of a very understandable but unfortunate mistake i made at work recently
So I'm weeding our ancient and terrible collection of children's books for the first time in possibly ever, and I'm making a decision about a book about migrant workers by Sandra Weiner, called Small Hands, Big Hands. And I'm not 100% sure and I go to just see if there's anything out there about this book's being notable in any way so I do an open web search for
"small hands big hands weiner"
And then I look at my results for a moment
and then at last I somberly add to the end of my search, "BOOK"
I have one like that:
In mathematics, you often consider the two-dimensional plane - you know, the idealised flat two-dimensional object that extends infinitely - which can be real or complex (doesn't matter what that means)
On this, you can perform a mathematical operation called a "blow-up" (resulting in a more complicated geometry)
I needed to look up a formula related to this, so I confidently typed into the search bar:
"Blow up real plane"
The results were not what I wanted and I am not sure if I'm on a terror watchlist now.
This reminds me of my corsetmaker days when i found myself searching for "extra thick boning."
man sometimes friendship really is just "I saw this and knew it would give you psychic damage. please respond with agony" and then they do. and it's great
@ambiguousforestcryptid @aniixor
ah yes the two genders
@ambiguousforestcryptid
inherent gay need to redesign my bedroom every 3 months
gays, home of sexuals, lgbtqs, help me redesign my bedroom because i cant live like this anymore. make suggestions & i will move items accordingly (everything in purple is stuff i can move). only requirement is that my bed is in some corner bc if it doesn’t touch two walls ill die
Barricade the door
great ! are there other suggestions that arent this !
I find it funny when
Oh my god FUCK OFF
@ambiguousforestcryptid
say what you will about john mcafee (and you should.) but that guy could fucking post
all timer
wait I have one more story. there's a group of anti-abortion protesters who often set up by the Ethiopian cafe I hang out in, and when I was waiting to cross one of them held up an aborted fetus sign and said "how does this make you feel?" and I said "hungry", and then I was so satisfied by my own cleverness that I missed the lights and stepped off the sidewalk into oncoming traffic
devastating: artist who has not practiced fundamentals enough to execute high concept idea eats shit
does anyone want to see a really good picture of my kitty cat
not a cat, first off
snale
@ambiguousforestcryptid @sleepy-milkbread