lex

she/they bi, cishet exclusionist, indigenous (tsalagi) no terfs allowed

[pathologising]

some of you need to be told to shut the fuck up more

[pathologising]

not me tho im super funny and my tits are fucking massive

[gumcourse]

[sitcomlesbian]

a man and a woman: we would like a wedding cake please

homophobic baker: ok! congratulations on getting married

a man and a woman: ok but will u still want to make our cake when we tell u that we didnt feel any urge to have sex with each other until we knew each other extremely well? pretty queer right

homophobic baker: why are you telling me this

[tehdischorse]

just got into an argument with my best friend about whether cishet aces should be able to reclaim the slur queer or not and it brought me back to this blog

[moss-wizard]

What a year this week has been.

[we-dont-matteratall]

It’s Monday.

[jacuwi]

It sure as hell is.

[actualaster]

The earlier in the day Monday you reblog the funnier this gets

[dissthiscourse]

hey so i have a genuine question for both sides of the discourse: Why not just make an ace community that’s entirely separate from the lgbt+ community??

Like, I’m demisexual, nb and a lesbian. The presence of cishet aces in this community makes me feel really uncomfortable and unsafe and I absolutely wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing the Deep Shit about gender and sexuality with them, because they’ve never experienced that.

However, there is definitely a need for a supportive, safe space for people on the ace spectrum. So like. Satisfy both groups of people by doing this?????? Idk it seems really obvious to me.

I’ve also seen posts about ace spec people saying it’s too hard to create another community, but what do you think lgbt people had to do??? Don’t demand labour from lgbt people because you don’t want to fight for your own community

[discourseful]

mostly because whenever we suggest this they complain about how hard it would be, even though lgbt people had to build a community in the face of *literally being illegal*. so instead they demand labor from us and want to do none of it ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ (a frequent complaint, as can be seen in the notes, is “we’re only 1% of the population”, even though that’s…. many, many millions of people.)

even though it would HELP ace/aro people to have ace/aro-specific groups and resources so like… they’re doing themselves a disservice lmao!

[lesbeans-on-toast]

Yeah I completely agree with this post. To me it seems logical to have groups specifically for ace issues and aro issues because that way LGBT people can feel comfortable in their spaces AND ace/aro people actually have a resource that meets their needs in a way that LGBT resources don’t

[ikebanaka]

Cishet means cisgender heterosexual.

Ace people are not heterosexual.

They’re fucking asexual.

And it feels really shitty to think you’re part of a group only to have everyone else tell you you don’t belong because they don’t understand your identity and won’t take the time to understand.

You’re telling part of a larger community that they’re not part of it, meaning they’re not part of the 90% of people who are cishet and they don’t have the support of the people who aren’t.

Maybe they don’t face the same kind of discrimination, but that’s partially because people in their own fucking community won’t acknowledge them, and barely anyone outside the community knows they fucking exist.

Do you even think about how hard it must be to have everyone question why you aren’t into the same things you are, and constantly try to pressure you into doing things you’re not comfortable with?

Also, as a bi person, I can tell you that this shit feels really familiar. Bi people don’t have straight passing privilege, unlike what some people think, and guess what? Ace people don’t either.

Instead, we’re both discriminated against by people inside the LGBTQ community, because they don’t care enough to look at our issues. Thanks, guys. Really.

[tehdischorse]

cishet means ur not trans and you don’t experience SGA thanks for coming to my ted talk

[dissthiscourse]

hey so i have a genuine question for both sides of the discourse: Why not just make an ace community that’s entirely separate from the lgbt+ community??

Like, I’m demisexual, nb and a lesbian. The presence of cishet aces in this community makes me feel really uncomfortable and unsafe and I absolutely wouldn’t feel comfortable discussing the Deep Shit about gender and sexuality with them, because they’ve never experienced that.

However, there is definitely a need for a supportive, safe space for people on the ace spectrum. So like. Satisfy both groups of people by doing this?????? Idk it seems really obvious to me.

I’ve also seen posts about ace spec people saying it’s too hard to create another community, but what do you think lgbt people had to do??? Don’t demand labour from lgbt people because you don’t want to fight for your own community

[tehdischorse]

!!!! we have been saying this all along?????

[the-ace-community]

the LGBT community isn’t about accepting anyone and everyone and holding hands and going to pride parades or whatever other ‘uwu drink water!!!’ mogai hell bullshit you can think of. it just isn’t. the LGBT community is not about accepting the people who want us dead and the people who oppress us into our safe spaces because ‘they’re bullied too!’. it’s not. the LGBT community is exclusive for the safety of it’s members.

you love to complain about HATEKEEPING!!!!!1!11 without even realizing that it is a very necessary part of the community. if we didn’t ‘gatekeep’ everyone from sally cishet to sammy the straighty would be LGBT just so they can feel included. this defeats the entire purpose of having a community in the first place!

when it comes down to it. the LGBT community was created and established for people who are oppressed systematicaly under homophobia/transphobia. that’s it. it wasn’t made for straight cis people who don’t feel sexual attraction and it wasn’t made for straight cis people who don’t feel romantic attraction. why? because these people actively benefit from our oppression. this is undeniable fact. you cannot opt out of the privileges you have as a straight, cisgendered person. you can’t.

and before you complain about the ‘oppression olympics’ or ‘it’s not a competition to see who’s more oppressed!’. let’s cut the shit. ace/aro individuals are not systemically oppressed on the basis of their ace/aro-ness. they aren’t. there is no competition. why? because if there was, aces/aros would not be competing bc they do not face systemic oppression. do they face stigma and discrimination? yes. but this is not systemic oppression and is nowhere near the same thing that LGBT people have to go through on a daily basis.

if you think that cishets aces and cishet aros belong in the LGBT community, simply because of their ace/aro-ness. then I’m going to need you to go read some LGBT history. open up a book and learn about axis of oppression and positions of power. listen to ACTUAL lgbt people when they tell you that ideas like this are not only harmful to the LGBT community as a whole, but make A LOT of lgbt people uncomfortable and afraid to even enter their safe spaces knowing that they have been invaded by the kind of people who want them dead. 

tl;dr—cishets aren’t LGBT. cishet aces and cishet aros are not LGBT. ace/aros are not systemically oppressed for being ace/aro, but this does not make them any less valid. 

[gay-jesus-probably]

hi excuse me i’m aromantic and i’d like to formally invite the OP to go fuck themselves because this is literally the exact same bullshit rhetoric I faced when I first realised I was pansexual, and everyone was saying bi/pan people weren’t really opressed because we had the option to be in ‘hetero’ relationships. and its the same bullshit rhetoric i face when i first figured out that i was nonbinary, and everyone was saying that trans/enby people weren’t reallllly opressed because yknow the communities for sexualities and people who were just non-cis couldn’t reallllllllly understand the struggle. and now that im realizing i’m aromantic, i’m hearing this exact same exclusionist bullshit.

so fuck you OP. fuck everyone who agrees with this post. fuck you. learn your history. asexuals and aromantics have been here from the very start, just like trans people, just like enby people, just like bisexuals, just like pansexuals, and just. like. all of us. fuck you for trying to claim that we’re ‘valid’ whatever the fuck that even means while erasing our history and oppression. fuck you for throwing part of your own community under the bus for your respectibility politics

AND FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT ASEXUAL AND AROMANTIC PEOPLE MAKE THE LGBT COMMUNITY UNSAFE. FUCK YOU FOR SAYING THAT THEY’RE TECHNICALLY OPPRESSORS, AND HAVE NO PLACE. GUESS WHAT, I’M AN AROMANTIC PANSEXUAL AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE MY OPRESSORS, AND MAKE ME UNSAFE. TERF LESBIANS MAKE ME UNSAFE. BIPHOBES MAKE ME UNSAFE. CIS QUEER PEOPLE MAKE ME UNSAFE. TRANS STRAIGHT PEOPLE MAKE ME UNSAFE. LGBT MEN MAKE ME UNSAFE. AND GUESS THE FUCK WHAT THEY’RE ALL STILL IN THE COMMUNITY. BECAUSE HETEROSEXUAL HETEROROMANTIC CISGENDER PEOPLE HAVE DECIDED THAT ALL OF US ARE BROKEN AND WRONG FOR EXISTING. THE BIGGEST DEFINER FOR ‘NORMAL’ IS BEING YOUR ASSIGNED GENDER, AND WANTING TO BE ROMANTICALLY AND SEXUALLY INVOLVED WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER. ANYTHING ELSE IS SEEN AS WRONG, AND ISN’T TOLERATED.

fuck you OP and fuck everyone who agrees with you. You think you’re protecting the ‘real LGBT’ ace/aro people? fuck you. You’re the reason I don’t feel safe in the LGBT community. You are the one making this dangerous.

fuck you. we don’t deserve to put up with this. i’m tired of arguing this. i’m just tired.

[tehdischorse]

the difference between sga/trans ppl & cishets is that all sga/trans ppl have a shared experience of oppression that dates back to when marsha threw the first brick at stonewall. cishets DON’T.

i used to identify as acespec. and i have plenty of friends who are acespec who, like me, believe cishets are not LGBT. you know why? because being LGBT is inherently being sga/trans. i, as a bisexual woman, am LGBT. you, as an aro pansexual person (sorry idk what you identify as!!) are LGBT. but someone who identifies as a girl (and was born as a girl) who is strictly attracted to boys but does not want to fuck them does not make them LGBT. it makes them a cishet ace.

[tehdischorse]

turns out the guy i was talking to is a brony so it’s gonna be real awkward next time we work the same shift

[hoe-tchner]

Everyday I wake up thinking “Wow I miss Aaron Hotchner”

[extraterrestrialjordan]

[tehdischorse]

sorry guys i’m a criminal minds stan account even tho ACAB

[gubler-garbage]

#big dick energy

[omgubler]

I’m

⚪️ gay

⚪️ straight

⚪️ bi

🔵 This is calm, and it’s Doctor.

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

Why do you hate cishet people so much

whats not to hate

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

fksjdcnksjnfjhd

[tenderlesbian-deactivated201807]

what in the goddamn world

[tea-and-biscourse]

I’ve been seeing a lot of talk about violent exclusionists who are making people feel “unsafe” and about “aphobia”. I like how y’all play the victim when I haven’t seen any violent rhetoric from exclusionists, and I keep up with many of them seeing as I am one. But I have seen some from inclusionists as well as concerning amounts of homophobia and shaming lgbt people for their sexualities (which is what we’re supposed to be celebrating this month) so I thought I’d share a few receipts, let’s start with threats of violence

^^^^^

Here’s some homophobia:

I have more that I wanna that I wanna organize and dive deeper in.

[fairydusts]

girl culture is turning around every few feet when you’re walking alone to see if someone’s following u

[your-naked-magic-oh-dear-lord]

Learn to peep through the corner of your eye so you’re not quite so obvious when you turn.

[feministfront]

Putting in your earphones so hopefully no random men try to talk to/harass you but not actually playing music so you can listen for footsteps/other suspicious noises behind you.

[gibbearish]

feeling like someone is following you and subtly shifting whatever object you’re holding into a better grip so you can use it as a bludgeon if the person behind you tries anything

[its-probably-all-elves]

Being fucking terrified when street lamps give you more than one shadow

[orphic-hedonist]

How do any of you function???

[itscoldinwonderland]

They litterally don’t function, their life is Tumblr.

[kurdaa]

No… this isn’t a case of “tumblrites being tumblrites” and being dramatic. This is real life issues that girls face regardless if they have a tumblr blog or not.

[orange-plum]

Not a “tumblr” issue. It’s a girl issue. We all do this every day. I’ve done all of these on a daily.

[spelunk]

i keep calling simon a dumb bitch for not realizing bram liked him when meanwhile a girl could literally tell me she’s in love with me and i’d be like platonically? you mean platonically? is that platonic? are you gay?

[spelunk]

simon when bram shows up at the ferris wheel: i’m kind of waiting for someone

me in the theatre pretending i’m not JUST as stupid: simon you fucking buffoon. you imbecile.