Cleric, not a wizard, but who's counting?

I'm a lich and just keeping busy until some adventurers come through my door again. they/them ☆ Unreality ☆ Succumbing to the Call

[terminallyundeadlich]

I am going to uncurse timmy

[aorish-deactivated20251222]

oh you're a wizard huh? are you delving deep into the mysteries of the arcane? or are you just copying invocations from other people's spellbooks that you found on cauldronoverflow without fully understanding what they mean?

[noellellelle]

okay so i found a cool book in the forbidden section of the library last week, but apparently some of you have been spreading rumours about it. so i wanna clear some things up.

[noellellelle]

NO. it is not cursed. its just a book. a normal book.

[noellellelle]

no, it is not full of ancient dark magic that is slowly twisting and corrupting me.

magic isnt real. its just a book.

[noellellelle]

no, obviously it is not speaking to me, whispering to me with her beautiful gentle voice, sharing its secrets, etc.

even if she was doing those things, which it isnt, there would be nothing wrong with that. but shes not, so thats not even an issue.

[noellellelle]

and finally, YES. i do hug her at night. YES, i hold her to my chest and keep her close as i sleep. i just feel weird when i'm not near her. i like how warm she is.

its not weird. this is normal. its not cursed. stop saying she's cursed. she's just a book, okay???

[noellellelle]

update: got banished from the kingdoms for "witchcraft" and for "stealing" an "extremely dangerous magical item"

gods forbid maidens do anything

[noellellelle]

update 2: destroyed the kingdoms and seized the throne for myself. unleashed a horde of the undead upon the world <3

still got my book. i love her

[medievaljournalist]

lets all breathe the poisonous mausoleum air

[sandmandaddy69]

[sacred-portal]

[onlinebeast]

Taking the red hats off of half a dozen gnomes and loading them carefully, tearfully, into a revolver.

[onlinebeast]

Please could you gnomes just hold the fuck still- wait

Where’s the sixth one

[snowing-in-cyberspace]

runs away as fast as fuckign possible coughing and and hacking and wheezing and crying

[trogort]

[frightstricken-deactivated20260]

But are you normal about your friend who wears the corrupted amulet?

[frightstricken-deactivated20260]

Do you allow your friend to spill blood as the amulet demands? Do you accept the amulet as a sapient force whose needs are important and must be met without question? Do you give the amulet a little kissy whe n it gets lonely

[ellevandersneed]

your racist uncle just bathed in dragons blood, rendering his flesh impenetrable by blade or bullet. luckily some divine force, call it entropy, pulled a leaf from its branch and let it rest on your uncles shoulder blade as he was bathing. you know what to do. find this spot, and drive the electronic turkey carver through it. it is your destiny

[cryptotheism]

The American school system never taught us the consequences of wielding the demon blade

[walnutsupreme]

well. hm

[johnnycrass]

something so alchemical about build a bear...... the homunculus...

[dostoyevsky-official]

when you say "get rid of the cursed amulet," i can't help but notice a tone of jealousy. envy, even

[terminallyundeadlich]

Homunculus I got on temu has an awful logo stamped on its tailbone and only listens to me after the third attempt.

[terminallyundeadlich]

Best way to attain immortality

Vampirism

Soul Jar Hopping

Clone Spell

Dark Deals

Oath of Ancients.

Wish

Lichdom

I'm a nerd/Immortality isn't for mortals to attain

I'm not a nerd but i have other ideas to become immortal.

Voting ended onJul 30, 2024

[creatures-5]

Reblog game: Type "I cast" and let autocomplete finish the spell

[shadowsofcolour]

I cast a bit of a bit of a joke

[mikesterreal]

I cast my vote for the first time in my life

[terminallyundeadlich]

I cast the solution to your corpse