PLEASE TRANSFORMERS PEOPLE, I DESPERATELY NEED SOME NONSEXUAL EXPLORING EACH OTHER'S BODIES WITH A FEMALE READER AND EITHER BEE (Bayverse) OR MIRAGE (RotB)
I fucking love nonsexual exploring each other's bodies... both parties being awed and fascinated by each other's similarities and differences and... ough. Explaining as much as oneself can about your own body parts... teasing each other and giggling the whole time...
In any franchise where humans and aliens intermingle, there NEEDS to be like at least one oneshot or drabble or whatever with this premise.
Drift is a "Sage" and Iâm the Queen of England (i.e., Heâs Delusional)
Thesis: Okay, look. I love Drift. I love him so much I want to put him in a blender, drink the smoothie, and then give him a hug and a stress ball. But we need to have a serious conversation about the fact that this man is the biggest hypocrite in the entire franchise. He is a traumatized guy in a cosplay suit, but he is also a bot having a prolonged, mid-life crisis in real-time and I am going to burn at the stake for saying it like that. Btw if anyone says I'm larping maybe it's true since I'm catching up with these characters. Plus, this is the second time I've made a post like this.
(And pls read the verdict at the end ig)
Look at the facts, Driftâs transition from the Decepticon mercenary Deadlock to the noble Samurai Drift isnât a spiritual evolution; itâs a total suppression of his original personality.
The "Puppy Dog" Projection: In Age of Extinction, he has the audacity to say, "I'm the lone sage who sees through this puppy dog eyes act, it's beneath you."
And I also want to highlight how in this line he obviously proclaims himself as a sage, which, like i said, he is not.
Letâs be real: heâs projecting đ„č. Drift spent his life as Deadlock, a brutal mercenary. He carries so much guilt and internal chaos that heâs built this "Samurai" persona as a cage for his own rage imo. When he looks at Bee, he doesnât see a "puppy dog act", he sees someone who is allowed to be emotive and liked without having to perform a specific type of discipline. It irritates him because it reminds him that his own peace is fake. Psychology calls this Reaction Formation; he identifies the aggressive, chaotic impulses he hates in his own past, and he attacks them when he sees them in others to convince himself heâs successfully "cured" them.
For me, that wasn't a sage speaking. That was a guy who is so deeply insecure about his own suppressed rage that heâs furious at someone else for being allowed to have emotions. Heâs out here trying to be better while suppressing thousands of years of Decepticon-mercenary trauma, and heâs mad that Bee doesn't have to work as hard as he does to stay "chill."
And the monologue BEFORE the little fight is the exact thing i'm trying to say: When he calls Bumblebee a "child," he is actually describing his own inability to handle the frustration of not being the one in charge. He projects his own lack of "warrior discipline" onto Bee, because a truly disciplined sage would have respected the chain of command, regardless of whether he agreed with it.
+ The "Shame" Defense: He claims Bumblebee "brings us shame". This is such a classic "Iâm trying too hard to look good" tactic. By framing his personal annoyance as a matter of "honor" and "shame," he tries to elevate a petty workplace grievance into a grand moral failing. Itâs hilariously transparent.
The Baby Dinobot: Fast forward to The Last Knight. We see a true, enlightened master react to a minor inconvenience with... well, extreme hostility. A tiny Dinobot lands on his foot, and he goes zero-to-a-hundred immediately. And remember what he was reciting before that: "No fear, no hate, no anger" (sure buddy)
(Btw I feel like I should say that I love how the voice actor in esp LATAM portrayed this anger issues flashes!!)
If you are a "lone sage," you find balance in the chaos. You don't have a meltdown because a metal lizard touched your damn feet. This is the moment the "Samurai mask" slips, and the old Decepticon mercenary comes roaring back to the surface. He isn't enlightened; heâs just suppressing his instincts. A true monk or sage lives by Wu Wei (non-action/effortless action). If you are a true sage, a small robot on your foot is a moment of zen. For Drift, itâs a breach of his perimeter. His immediate, violent escalation shows that his "Zen" is brittle. It isn't a state of being; itâs a state of maintenance. Heâs not that peaceful; heâs just one inconvenience away from a total system reset.
Although he ends up joking about it in the end, that doesn't change the way he reacted.
Lockdown's ship scene: Also in this part of the movie, He explicitly tells the team that violence should be a last resort. Itâs his way of setting the "moral bar" for the group, trying to establish himself as the voice of reason and restraint.
+ The Zero-to-One-Hundred Reaction: As I noted, the moment that alien caterpillar-like creature appears seconds after him saying that, he doesn't just neutralize the threat; he goes nuclear. He starts shouting "I'll kill you!" which is the absolute opposite of the persona he is trying to project. The fact that he yells this with genuine, raw aggression rather than the calm, detached bot act is just thatâan act. His immediate go-to response is lethal, over-the-top violence. Even if the writers intended it as a bit of comic relief, it serves the narrative purpose of showing that Drift is deeply stressed by his own rigid code. He isn't actually calm; he is terrified of his own impulses, and a surprise bug is enough to make him lose control and contradict oneself.
This moment is key for me because it shows that for Drift, "discipline" is a choice he has to make every single second, and he is exhausting himself trying to keep the "old" Drift buried. When he screams at that bug, he isn't just killing a creature; (maybe) heâs taking out his frustration at being forced to act like a pacifist when every fiber of his being wants to go back to being a brawler.
It makes him so much more relatable, doesn't it? Because weâve all had those moments where weâre trying to be the "bigger person" or act all calm and good, and then one minor thing happens and we just lose it.
Itâs a Canon Habit:
This isn't just movie-exclusive, either. If you look at his lore across various Transformers continuities (like the IDW comics), where we see his origins as Deadlock, the theme remains constant: Extreme Polarization. Whether he is a merciless Decepticon or a "noble" Autobot, he always operates at 100%. He is constantly oscillating between extreme violence and extreme meditation because he doesn't know how to exist in the middle ground. He forces himself into this binary "either I am a mindless killer or I am a silent, stoic samurai" because he is terrified of what happens if he just tries to be... a normal person. Well, bot.
He lacks the "middle path" because his brain is wired for absolute, black-and-white extremes. Drift is defined by his struggle to overcome his past. Drift is a character in constant conflict. He probably thinks being a "sage" means suppressing his personality until thereâs nothing left but stoic one-liners. But because he holds himself to such an impossibly high standard, he becomes the most hyper-critical person in the room. Heâs not a master of the blade; heâs a guy trying to convince himself that if he says enough "wise" things, heâll eventually stop wanting to punch everything in sight.
The Verdict:
Like i said, i love him, but letâs stop acting like heâs actually got it all figured out. I don't hate him. Iâm not being a hater. Iâm being realistic. Drift is a tragic, complex, messy, deeply human character trapped in a Cybertronian body. He is trying so hard to be something he isn't that heâs become sometimes hyper-critical of everyone else's "lack of this or that" to distract from his own internal war.
He is an emotional disaster, a hypocritical mess, and honestly, a bit of a diva about his own aesthetic. And that is exactly why heâs one of the best-written characters in the Bayverse and outside it because he is the only one actively lying to himself (although well, this topic wasn't even touched upon in the movie). Heâs not a sage, heâs a looong work in progress who is barely holding it together. But hey, thats the good thing, he is making progress and is aware of his shortcomings. But trying to change after like, MILLIONS of years of being a bad person is difficult. One meditation session at a time.
Anyway, thatâs my hill to die on and for saying heâs a neurotic performative mess but at least heâs a mess with a sword.
Plus, criticism is accepted!!
Whenever I do these writings I feel like I'm overthinking or am I misunderstanding something lmao that's whyđ
Hi, could you do a DJD headcanon for a human reader, like they were just gonna take it as hostage but eventually became a honorary crew.
i love this trope for the djd lmao
honorary djd human
they weren't sure how, why, or when the change happened
one day you sat in a cage for an animal, and now you're atop tesarus's shoulder while you argue about human reality tv
nickel is by far having the hardest time with this change. she despises humans, more so than the usual decepticon hatred towards humanity, and for good reason honestly
nickel will never go out of her way to talk to you, but she at least tolerates your presence and refrains from ripping you limb from limb. call it a win
she does, VERY reluctantly learn human anatomy and medicine at the request of the crew (she wasn't going to until tarn got involved)
speaking of tarn, he is also handling it very poorly. he's conflicted. on one servo, he strangely enjoys the alien presence. his world has been opened to a variety of music and literature he would have NEVER willingly exposed himself to before. on the other servo, he's a decepticon. not just a decepticon, he is the leader of the decepticon justice division.
tarn will act like letting you free on the ship was his call, just to feel like he has control over you, as if it wasn't because helex wanted a mascot, tes got bored, and kaon thought you would be a cute new pet
kaon treats the human like a pet that can talk, not like a sentient being with autonomy over themself. he really just sees you as a friend for the pet, just a little smarter
from an outside perspective, it seems that vos has the same mindset as kaon. then again, no one ever really knows what's going on in vos's little head
in the start, vos found fun in tormenting you. dragging you into the vents and watch you get lost and terrified, throwing you around, just generally terrifying you.
then, when he got bored with that, and had some realisations surrounding his past and your situation, it turned more into a morbid curiosity
but now you're no better than him. the vents are your domain
helex and you have kind of a.. strained relationship
he was banned from interacting with you when you were still caged. he kept threatening to eat you. the others thought it was just to scare you, until he actually tried
so yeah, that's still on your mind
helex is probably the freakiest of the whole djd, in both meanings of the word. he will not stop trying to weird you out, but depending on your reactions, he might warm up to you
once you said you were cold so he threw you in his smelter on a low setting. you still freaked the fuck out bc you thought you were going to die
nickel thought it was hilarious, kaon was pissed that helex stressed out his little pet
i'm definitely biased because tesarus is my favourite, but you and tes get along like a house fire.
his previous interactions with human media give him more understanding of your references you might bring up
you are the only one allowed in tesarus's room. it is filled with cutesy plushies, posters, and human media references, he will die before the rest of the djd finds out.
given you are human, he feels safer revealing this to you
he will kick your ass at mario kart, don't fucking test him
You said you were looking for djd writing ideas, maybe you could write a bit about what the djd does for fun outside of work/ hobbies?
i'm gonna leave tarn and nickel out of this one just because i don't know a lot about nickel, and personally, i don't really like tarn.
i tried to make the headcanons even through out but... can you tell who my favourite is lmaoo
what does the djd do for fun?
tesarus
i headcanon tesarus as a total loser nerd. he's messy, lazy, and easily bored
thus, he comes up with a variety of cures for said boredom
tes has a habit of making his boredom everyone else's problem, especially helex. he will go out of his way to follow helex around, poking and prodding at him
he will insult helex just to get a reaction, challenge helex to absurd tasks just to watch him fail, or even just make up juicy gossip to tell helex about and start some shit
tes likes to sleep off the boredom as well. can't be bored if you're not conscious
he can often be found sleeping in the most random places. on a table in the lounge, on a berth in the med bay, and many times he's been found smack dab in the middle of a hallway snoozing
he's a lazy fuck (lovingly)
tesarus also has a deep, dark secret he will DIE before he lets out... he enjoys human video games.
trust me, he's disgusted with himself. he knows it's awful. but he can't help it
and i'm talking like a full range of video games. outlast, silent hill, doki doki literature club, animal crossing, undertale.. the list goes on
on another note, despite how lazy he is, sometimes he gets so bored he will willingly clean his grinder. he picks out the scraps of lost traitors and collects them.
tes likes to make little trinkets out of these scraps. kind of like origami, or trophies
helex
as stated above, helex is often the victim of tesarus's boredom
helex will never turn down a challenge, which is why he's landed himself in the med bay many a time with too much pride to explain what the hell happened
this mech is a high grade connoisseur. helex and tesarus frequent many bars around the galaxies, taste testing new fuels or just getting shit faced
one challenge helex will never lose though? a drinking competition. he takes those very seriouslyïżŒ
helex is a very smart mech, and really likes literature. he can often be found in the lounge flipping through data pads of literature from various species. though, he is far too prideful and, to be quite frank, racist to read anything from an organic species
kaon
most of his time outside of work is spent with his precious pet
he's trained the pet perfectly. the proclaimed "sparkeater" has even been trained to "sit pretty" and the cybertronian equivalent of "bring me a beer"
when travelling worlds, kaon looks for fabrics to make the pet clothes out of
yes, the pet has a pink, frilly princess dress. kaon is incredibly proud of it
kaon likes going out and having fun at bars, clubs, you name it.
he spends a lot of time searching for planets with cybertronian bars and exhibits
kaon is a gossip queen. he is the main perpetrator of the gossip on the peaceful tyranny
it's worse when he's out with the rest of the djd. he'll tell helex that some bot was talking shit just to get a free show
vos
no one really knows what vos does outside of work. he's basically the ship's cryptid
you can't just say you saw him. you need photo evidence or no one will believe you
whatever photos the djd does get of him are blurred and grainy, in true cryptid fashion
vos really just likes.... watching
he has the vent layouts memorised and spends most of his time up there.
he is the only one who knows of tesarus's gaming addiction, and he's just waiting for the right moment to blackmail tes. tes has no idea that vos knows
vos likes to sneak into his crewmate's rooms and take things. insignificant things, nothing too important, but just enough to kind of freak them out, yaknow?
he feeds on fear
kaon once got a system alert that there was a blockage in one of the vents, and when he opened it, every stolen item came crashing down on him
i love ur scavengers stuff sm!!!đłđł err do u think u could write from nsfw headcannons for fulcrum and a human reader plss,, or just general relationship hcâs
thank you!! i mostly just write to get things out of my brain but it's nice that some people are interested in it too :) i looove fulcrum x human reader. i don't write nsfw all that often so im sorry in advance lmfao
this is written under the understanding that fulcrum is mass displaced
minors please dni with this post
mtmte fulcrum x human reader relationship and nsfw headcanons
you better be DEEPLY in love with this coward and INCREDIBLY patient because it is going to take a long ass time to make any sort of progress with him
even at the beginning of your relationship, he has a hard time looking at you. not because he thinks you're ugly, he actually finds you very attractive, but the oils and the pores... it's very hard for him to get over
honestly, he will most likely never fully get over it
he's ashamed with himself for feeling how he does. he's ashamed he fell for an organic, but he would never tell you that. but he's also ashamed he can't give you everything he wants to give you because of his phobia
quite a bit of your relationship is going to be assurance and finding solutions to these problems.
the most effective way to get over a phobia? exposure therapy
he both hates and loves it
he's such a sub. he likes being pushed around and told what to do
when you become intimate with fulcrum, you start with over the clothes stuff. grinding, groping, etc
again, fulcrum feels so guilty about everything. you have no problem stroking his spike or fingering his valve, but he can't bring himself to do the same for you (yet, anyway)
and then you discover: the blindfold. your new best friend for a good, long while
at this point, fulcrum is so desperate to put his phobia to rest he'll try anything. he just wants to give you what you deserve; a partner who isn't totally disgusted by you
he lets you lay him down, tie up his hands, and blindfold him
you've never seen this coward so nervous before. he's damn near vibrating, can't stop moving his hands and fidgeting with his bindings, and his mouth is running a million miles a minute
he only shuts up when you finally sink down on him. he couldn't begin to describe what he was feeling, caught in some sort of limbo between heaven and hell. he can't decide if he loves it or hates it.
but he sure as hell sounds like he's loving it. the whole damn WAP heard him, and they're never gonna let him hear the end of it
after promptly throwing up after your first real time (which did wonders for your confidence) he decides he can absolutely get over his phobia if it means he gets to feel like that again.
fulcrum will constantly assure you that his feelings have nothing to do with you and everything to do with him. he loves you, he really does, but this phobia is so deeply engrained in him it's going to take a lot of time to undo it
you've gotta be some kind of saint to put up with fulcrum's shit
this is entirely self indulgent bc i have been obsessed with avatar and the world of pandora, an i thought this would be cute.
TFA Prowl experiencing Pandora with a forest na'vi companion
contains: prowl
prowl
prowl is in complete awe of the beauty of eywa'eveng. he was mesmerised by earth, but pandora? he doesn't have the words.
he traverses pandora in a na'vi holoform to avoid the violence the native life has against humanity.
it saddens him how humans are treated on pandora, but when he learns the full extent of humanity's role on pandora? he understands. he is a na'vi ally through and through
as for his na'vi friend? he wants to learn EVERYTHING from them
from the worship of eywa to the language and traditions, he internalises all of it. when he eventually has to leave pandora, he finds he still holds many na'vi traditions with him
prowl sees similarities between how the na'vi raise their children and how he was trained as a cyber ninja. because of this, he finds it very easy to fit in with the forest clans
he finds the zeswa clan to be the most interesting. to wander from place to place, knowing no home but the one you carry with you. he relates heavily, having been at space for so long
don't get him STARTED on the animal life. his favourite is the kenten (fan lizards)
when his na'vi friends teach him about tsaheylu, he is (once again) in awe. to be able to connect with the world in such an intimate and sacred way is astonishing to him
he spends most of his time on pandora connected with the trees and plant life. he would only make tsaheylu with an ikran if given permission by a clan as a right of passage. he takes na'vi tradition very seriously, it is their world after all
prowl could live the rest of his life on pandora and be completely fine with it
like i said, this is entirely self indulgent but i had a grand ol time. cranked this out in 10 minutes on my break at work lmao
i was gonna include optimus in this but i think prowl and him would have similar reactions so here we are
Ooo hi I would love to hear about your TFP Ratchet thoughts, and if I could request something in relation, I'd love to maybe read some bits about Optimus Prime and Ratchet like some fun HCs int he present or your thoughts on their interactions pre-war
ratchet my loveâ€ïž
warning: gets a little angsty at some points, all sfw though. cut is to save space
tfp ratchet headcanons
ratchet never wanted to be a medic. he did study cybertronian medicine and the likes, but that was more due to the rising threat of war and the need of medics
especially the years leading up to the war. there were riots, crime was at an all time high, and the hospitals were filled with unfortunate victims of the circumstances
ratchet was a science guy, that's why he's so handy with the ground bridge. he was incredible, and assisted in major breakthroughs pertaining to space/ground bridges
but due to the rising casualties across the planet, he began studying and practicing medicine.
it's part of why he's so upset all the time, he never wanted this. he had dreams and aspirations, he wanted to be a scientist, not a field medic. he mourns what could have been
ratchet had met orion pax in the library orion worked in. ratchet would frequently spend time researching in the library
ratchet was a history nerd, when he had free time. that's how orion and him initially began bonding, orion had the same passion for history
they used to spend hours discussing cybertronian history, philosophy and the likes. eventually, it turned more personal, and they became close friends.
ratchet is much older than optimus, and served as a sort of mentor-figure to him. he still does, optimus frequently goes to ratchet for advice
before the war, ratchet was young and spry. rather similar to jack and june.
and before his schooling? our man was a party animal
you ever seen an ambulance do a keg stand? because optimus has
ratchet loathes to admit how similar to the human children he once was
Plot: Miko's latest prank sets off a chain reaction of events that leaves no one safe from the act of being jump scared
-image not mine-
âDoes anyone else think this is a terrible idea?â Raf asked, shifting somewhere in the dark.
âOh I thought it was a bad idea two hours ago. Iâm just here for the vibes at this point.â I replied, flinching when Mikoâs gum bubble popped.
âJack, your foot is digging into my stomach.â Miko whined.
âMy feet are against the wall.â he grunted back.
âThen whose feet are touching me?â she demanded, reaching over and apparently pinching the offending foot because Raf yelped.
âSorry.â He grunted, and I heard him move, his elbow now pressing against my back.
My phone lit up again, the call silent.
That was five for me, three for Jack and Miko with two. Raf was in the lead with six from Bumblebee and one from Ratchet.
I was trying to not take offense that the old medic hadnât called me yet.
Mikoâs idea, as they often were, was dumb and weird and we shouldnât have agreed, but here we were hiding in an old vent shaft waiting to see how long itâd take the bots to find us.
At first it had been a question of how long it would take before Ratchet noticed we were missing. Then it expanded to how long before the bots realized it. Now it had descended into taking bets on who would get the most calls before drastic measures were taken by the bots.
Ratchet had been so distracted, and with all the others out on a scouting mission, it had taken a good hour before theyâd gotten back and noticed us gone. That had been thirty minutes ago and while weâd heard them pass us a couple times, they werenât frantically tearing the base apart yet.
I had no doubt that when they did find us, Ratchet was going to threaten us with his wrench for âwasting timeâ.
It had been kind of fun. First came the task of finding a place big enough for all four of us, then getting into comfortable positions. And then when weâd gotten bored of being quiet (which had only been a minute) weâd started to talk about our anime hot takes.
It was also decided that Miko was banned from ever choosing a light-hearted romance. How could she not be traumatized after Fruits Basket?
Mikoâs phone lit up, which had her cheering before we all hissed at her to be quiet.
âThatâs three for me.â she cheered in a whisper, pumping her fist.
Doing so caused her elbow to slam right into Jackâs nose, which caused him to yelp and jolt. Jack jostling scared Raf, who jerked his own elbow into my spine.
âWhy was this the one place we all agreed on?â I groaned.
Our grumbles silenced when we heard pedsteps approaching.
âMiko?â Bulkhead called out. âIf this is that âhide and seekâ game again, itâs not cool anymore. Weâre all getting worried.â
The green titan walked right past us, completely unaware we were so cramped right near his feet.
âHow long are we going to let this go on?â Raf whispered.
âUntil I win.â Miko declared.
We fell silent for a few moments, me glancing to my phone when the screen lit up again.
âAww man, you got six.â Miko whined.
âNo. Itâs just a text.â
âFrom?â Jack asked, pulling out his own phone to check his texts.
âRatchet. âTell Miko if she does not end this foolish prank now, I will tie her down and force her to learn Cybertronian anatomyâ with two angry face emojis.â
âRatchet knows how to use emojis?â Raf asked into the silence that followed.
Mikoâs phone lit up again. âHa! Thatâs four. Just three more and I win.â
âThatâs if you survive whatever Ratchet has planned for-â
âFound you.â
The four of us screamed, limbs tangling with one another as we had no space to flee.
What ended our mass attempted scramble and subsequent shouting was the blast of a loud horn and the crash of metal.
Although it was completely dark in the vent, we turned to one another, checking if weâd all heard it.
âDid Optimus just⊠honk his horn?â Raf asked slowly, voice a whisper.
âNo.â my guardian called back, suspiciously still on the other side of the vent.
Jack, being the closest, pushed the vent up and stuck his head out. âAre you ok?â
Metal scraped as the Prime pushed himself to sit. âI am well. How are you?â
âCramped.â
Offering a digit, Optimus gently pulled Jack out, and then Miko, then Raf, then me.
âWhy are you sitting on the floor?â I asked as I dusted myself off, suppressing a grin as I did.
âIt was the best way to assist in your evacuation.â he answered back, hurrying to stand and rushing down the hall before any of us could say more.
âOk but he totally crapped his aft and honked, right?â Miko asked.
âYeah.â âDefinitely.â âOh yeah.â the boys and I replied.
âMiko!â Ratchetâs death roar echoed around the base.
âGood luck, kid.â
---
As Ratchet got settled into his lesson, Miko literally tied to a chair with, and itâs painfully ironic, ratchet straps, us three excused charges were ordered to remain on the catwalks.
Raf and Jack had started a Mario Kart game, Bee and Arcee cheering them on. Bulkhead was situated beside Miko, for emotional support, and Optimus was pointedly ignoring us all, sulking in a corner as he pretended to read something on his data pad.
With nothing to do, I had time to sit and think. An evil idea formed, one that would make Miko proud.
âHey Raf.â I whispered, sliding up next to him. âThe base has cameras, right?â
Humming a reply, he overtook Jack, only to get wiped off the rainbow bridge by Princess Peach.
âCan you access them?â
âThe main server has everything stored⊠on⊠Jack thatâs cheating!â
Vacating quickly to avoid his rapid Spanish swearing, I settled as the computers and searched the cameras.
It took me a while to find the right camera, and a little longer to wind it back to the moment, but my hard work paid off when I watched as Optimus approached our vent, pausing when he heard us, bending down so he was on his hands and knees and stick his helm down.
There wasnât volume, but I didnât need it when he suddenly jumped like a damn cat, launching himself into the wall and slamming onto the ground as gravity reminded him he cannot defy it.
Ok, maybe having audio proof that he did in fact lay on his internal horn in surprise would have made it better, but this was still golden.
Extracting the video, I sent it to the human group chat.
Was this going to ensue chaos and end up biting me on the ass? Probably. But itâd be oh so worth it.
---
âItâs no longer worth it.â I sighed, watching Miko stalk ahead of us with a bat raised high.
âWhat do you even plan to do with that?â Jack asked. âTheyâre twenty feet tall and metal.â
âItâs a precautionary, in case they-â
Bulkhead leaped from around the corner, yelling âBoogiddy boogiddy boo!â
Throwing the bat so it hit him right between the optics, Miko turned on her heel and bolted with a shrill scream, Jack inches ahead of her. They bolted back down the way weâd come, disappearing into the restroom once again.
âOw.â Bulkhead said, in the most monotone voice I had ever heard from him.
After I sent the video to the group two weeks ago, Miko had somehow turned it into a game of figuring out how each bot got scared.
Ratchetâs lights and sirens would go off, Arceeâs engine revved, Bee had just made some demonic screeching sound with his beeps all blending together and Bulkhead, and I donât have to equate it into human terms, backfired.
It had been amusing, for the first day, until the bots decided to get back at us humans.
Given their size, and freedom to use the internet to play whatever audio they wished through their speakers, we were all living on eggshells.
Miko was beyond paranoid, having been carrying around a bat and insisting all humans in the base accompany her everywhere.
Raf had been an easy target for about an hour, before heâd put on headphones and now refused to take them off.
Jack was close to breaking, the constant anxiety of expecting them to be right there edging him closer to insanity.
I was surviving, somewhat. Optimus had taken it personally after Miko had been a narc and showed the video to everyone so he was eager to enact revenge. At this point I was just pretending to be frightened so he felt like he accomplished something. It was getting old having to act startled every time he shouted my name while cruising down the road though.
Walking right under Bulkhead and stepping over the bat, I found Ratchet at his usual station, reading an earthly text.
âWhen will this end?â
âYou started this. Now you must suffer the consequences.â
With a groan, I flopped onto the couch, not even flinching when Jack and Mikoâs screams once again echoed down the hall.
I saw your post about requests and wanted to ask, what are your headcanons for Helex?
I barely see any content on him and it really puts tears to my eyes lol
yayayayay we love helex the nasty mf
the cut is to save space, headcanons are as sfw as the djd can get
general helex headcanons
as one of the powerhouses of the DJD, he puts on a very harsh and rough persona. and to be fair, he is a very harsh and rough bot
tesarus is his main man. from a simple glance, it kind of seems like they hate each other. they are constantly insulting each other, poking and prodding, just trying to get under each other's plating
in reality, that's their love language. being total assholes to each other. they find it hilarious to get a rise out of the other
tes is also the only one who can really take it, being the only one bigger than helex
helex is a softie for his djd buddies. vos has made his home inside of helex's smelter, especially on colder planets
helex likes to instigate drinking competitions at bars. he has never lost
helex is incredibly competitive, and will make a competition out of ANYTHING (hence the drinking competitions)
he is genuinely freaked out by kaon. he's better at hiding it than tesarus, but kaon just has an aura about him that's hard to shake.
always watching no eyes
he likes holding hands. if anyone catches him holding hands with his crew, they won't live to tell about it though
its canon that he eats brains, so there's that
he's oddly interested in human biology. specifically, the stomach and brain. i mean, stomachs are basically small smelters and he just has a weird thing about brains
he's not just brawn, he's a bit of a bookworm. he enjoys literature, though it takes a special kind of boredom to get him to pick up a data pad
most of the time his mind is completely blank. not a single thought behind those eyes half of the time
i'm not sure if he has a canon backstory, but my headcanon is he worked in an energon mine before the war. that's how he met tesarus actually, they worked the same mines and joined the DJD at the same time
