ใแฐแฉใย :: izana kurowaka! x ultraviolence, by lana del rey
warnings: toxic relationship dynamics, emotional abuse, manipulation, possessiveness, unhealthy attachment, codependency, isolation, childhood trauma, abandonment issues, psychological dependency. this work doesย notย romanticize or condone abusive relationships. written as a character study.
script
i don't really think izana would ever fall in love with someone he met a few months ago, or even after a year or two. he isn't the kind of person who would wake up one morning and decide to trust someone simply because they were kind to him. if anything, kindness would make him suspicious. after everything that happened to him, affection became something conditional, something that could disappear the second someone found somebody better.
i think, if izana were ever to let someone remain beside him, it would have to be someone who had always existed in the background of his life. not necessarily because he loved her from the beginning, but because she became part of the scenery before he realized she was there. someone whose presence slowly rooted itself into his routine until imagining life without her felt... wrong.
reader was another child at the orphanage.
izana never spoke to her at first. he had no reason to. every thought he had revolved around shinichiroโthe only person who made that lonely building feel temporary. every visit became something to survive for. every goodbye hurt a little more than the last.
still, he noticed her.
she was difficult not to notice.
she was quiet in a way that wasn't peaceful, always lingering near the edges of rooms as though waiting for permission to exist. she smiled too easily at strangers and apologized for things that weren't her fault. the staff described her as obedient, but izana thought she simply looked... empty. like a child who had learned far too early that taking up less space meant surviving longer.
eventually, curiosity became observation.
without anyone realizing, izana learned everything about her.
the adults talked too much.
he pieced together fragments overheard through half-open doors. a mother who had viewed her daughter as another source of income. a wealthy businessman who wanted the inconvenience erased before anyone could tie his name to the child. money exchanged. threats made. an abandoned little girl delivered to an orphanage because killing her had become more troublesome than forgetting she existed.
when they eventually left that orphanage years later, izana made sure those records disappeared with them.
he took every file that mentioned her.
every report.
every photograph.
every document containing the names of the people who had discarded her.
he never told reader why.
perhaps because he wanted to be the only person who knew where she had come from. perhaps because, in his own twisted way, destroying the trail felt like severing the last invisible thread connecting her to a world that had never wanted her.
after all...
she belonged beside him now.
they first spoke after another child cornered her behind the building.
reader never defended herself. she never knew how.
izana did.
violence had always been easier than words.
by the time someone pulled him away, the other boy was unconscious, blood dripping onto the pavement while reader stood frozen with tears filling her eyes.
she thanked him.
izana almost laughed.
she didn't understand.
he looked at her scraped hands before speaking as though stating an undeniable fact.
"you owe me."
reader nodded immediately.
that should have irritated him.
instead, it fascinated him.
she never questioned what repayment meant.
from then on, staying beside him became less of a choice and more of an unspoken rule.
she followed because he asked.
she stayed because leaving never crossed her mind.
everyone else assumed izana had become strangely protective of the timid girl from the orphanage.
kakucho understood the truth long before anyone else.
this wasn't protection.
it was possession.
there were invisible lines around reader that only izana could draw, and everyone else was expected to recognize them without explanation. conversations lasted too long. smiles directed at someone else lingered too long. even kakuchoโperhaps the only person izana genuinely trustedโwasn't exempt.
if kakucho made reader laugh, izana's mood soured.
if she instinctively walked beside kakucho instead of him, he quietly stepped between them until she drifted back to his side without thinking.
he never shouted.
he never needed to.
reader had become frighteningly good at reading silence.
a slight tilt of his head.
a pause that lasted one second longer than usual.
the coldness settling behind violet eyes.
those tiny changes were enough to make her apologize before she even knew what she'd done wrong.
she genuinely believed she'd upset him somehow.
izana never corrected her.
it made things easier.
reader wasn't trapped because she was physically unable to leave.
she simply couldn't imagine anywhere else existing.
the orphanage had taught her abandonment.
izana taught her certainty.
they were different kinds of prisons.
he never had to lock the door because she never reached for the handle.
that was the cruelest part.
in his mind, none of this was abuse.
he had given purpose to someone the world had discarded, and in return she remained his constantโthe only thing that never chose someone else.
he didn't realize that he had slowly become the entire shape of her world.
and reader...
reader mistook dependence for love because she had never been taught the difference.
perhaps the tragedy of them isn't that izana wanted to own her.
it's that neither of them understood there was another way to love.
even during those final moments, after kakucho threw himself between the bullet and the person he considered family, i don't think izana suddenly became selfless.
he was capable of sacrificing himself for kakucho because that loyalty had always existed somewhere beneath the hatred.
but if, before that moment, someone had asked him what should happen to reader if he died...
i don't think his answer would've been to leave her behind.
selfishly, almost instinctively, he would've thought she should come with him.
not because he hated her.
because in the fractured logic he'd spent years building, she had always been his.
he found her.
he shaped her.
he erased every path leading away from him.
how could a bird survive outside the only cage it had ever known?
the heartbreaking truth is that she probably would've followed.
not out of fear.
not because she was forced.
but because she loved him with the blind devotion of someone who had forgotten where her own life ended and his began.
and that's exactly what makes their story a tragedy instead of a romance.
00:00AM
there were nights when tokyo belonged to no one but them.
the city looked prettier after midnight.
all the noise became distant enough to pretend it wasn't there, reduced to headlights sliding across rain-soaked pavement and the occasional train disappearing into darkness. reader always thought the world looked softer then, almost forgiving.
izana said the opposite.
he thought the night was simply honest.
they sat on the roof of an unfinished building, legs hanging over the edge, the skyline stretching endlessly before them.
reader had stopped asking why he liked high places.
perhaps because he always looked less trapped above the city than inside it.
perhaps because he liked being somewhere no one could reach him.
"...cold?"
he didn't look at her when he asked.
"a little."
he took off his jacket and dropped it over her shoulders before she could refuse.
it smelled like cigarette smoke, rain, and something metallic that never quite washed away.
she pulled it closer without thinking.
"thank you."
"...don't."
"don't what?"
"thank me."
"why?"
his gaze remained fixed on the horizon.
"...because i wanted to."
reader smiled to herself.
"...okay."
another silence.
she'd grown to love them.
with izana, silence was never empty.
it was where most of his affection lived.
"...do you remember the orphanage?" she asked eventually.
"...i remember enough."
"i still think about the garden."
"there wasn't much of one."
"there were flowers."
"half of them were dead."
"...the purple ones weren't."
he finally looked at her.
"...you always liked those."
"because you called them stubborn."
"...they grew through concrete."
"just like you."
he scoffed.
"don't compare me to a flower."
"why not?"
"flowers die."
reader laughed quietly.
"...so do people."
his expression didn't change.
"exactly."
she watched him for a long moment.
there were nights when she thought she could almost see the little boy he'd once been.
the one who waited by the orphanage gate whenever shinichiro was supposed to visit.
the one who still believed someone could choose him.
she wondered if he knew she remembered him like that.
"...you're looking again."
"i know."
"...what is it this time?"
reader rested her cheek against her knees.
"...i was just thinking."
"dangerous."
"that you've always looked lonely."
his shoulders stiffened almost imperceptibly.
"...don't."
"it's not an insult."
"...don't pity me."
"i don't."
she reached over and brushed a loose strand of pale hair away from his face.
the gesture was so familiar neither of them reacted to it.
"...i just wish someone had loved you sooner."
something flickered behind his eyes.
gone before it could become anything softer.
"...they didn't."
"no."
"...you did."
she answered so simply it almost sounded obvious.
as though there had never been another possibility.
the wind shifted between them.
for the first time that evening, izana turned completely toward her.
"...say it again."
reader blinked.
"...what?"
"...that."
she didn't hesitate.
"i loved you before i knew what love was."
his jaw tightened.
"you shouldn't."
"i know."
"...you should've hated me."
"i tried."
"you were terrible at it."
she laughed through her nose.
"...i really was."
his hand found hers.
their fingers intertwined almost awkwardly, neither of them accustomed to tenderness.
"...people leave," he murmured.
"they always have."
"yes."
"...you won't."
reader looked down at their joined hands.
his grip was firm enough that she could feel her pulse beneath his fingers.
not painful.
just impossible to forget.
she understood the question hidden beneath the statement.
notย will you?
can i survive if you do?
she leaned forward until their foreheads touched.
close enough that his breathing became her own.
"...i don't know what tomorrow looks like."
it wasn't the answer he wanted.
she could feel it.
"...but if the whole world forgets your name..."
her voice dropped to something almost lost beneath the wind.
"...i'll remember how it sounded when we were children."
his eyes closed.
for someone else, that would've been enough.
for izana...
love had never been enough.
it had to be absolute.
it had to drown out every fear he'd ever carried.
it had to promise forever, because forever was the only thing he'd never been given.
he opened his eyes again.
"...if they try to take you from me..."
reader already knew the rest.
he didn't need to finish.
the sentence had lived between them for years.
she lifted his hand instead and pressed her lips against bruised knuckles still marked by old fights.
not to excuse the blood.
not to sanctify the violence.
only because, somewhere along the way, she'd begun treating every wound he carried as though it belonged to them both.
How the boys would react if you asked them "Would you still love me if I was a worm?"
Ft. Everyone I could think of
Would not understand the question at all:
Mochi, Shion, Shinichiro
But why would you be a worm? Did a wizard turn you into one? Will you ever turn back? Would you still have your memories? Or would you be a common worm? Wait I'm confused.
Would say yes very seriously and describe exactly how they'd take care of you:
Chifuyu, Takemichi, Angry, Hakkai
Of course! Iโd build you a beautiful little dirt terrarium, feed you the finest organic apple scraps, and make sure nobody steps on you.
Would say yes even though it's a ridiculous question, just because it makes you happy:
Mitsuya, Kakucho, Kazutora
Yes, love. Iโd carry you around in my pocket everywhere I go, so that you never get lonely and are always safely by my side.
Would immediately say no (but secretly he knows he would):
Draken, Baji, Rindou, Takeomi
No, and if you keep asking me these stupid questions, I'm getting you a psychiatrist. You're not a worm. You're a human being. Act like it.
Would say no and 100% mean it:
Smiley, Sanzu, Izana, Wakasa
No. If you were a worm, I'd vacuum you up. I don't like worms. And I certainly won't date them even if I did. I'm not into that kind of stuff.
Would say no and explain it's because it's not realistically possible:
Inui, Mucho, Benkei
No. If you were a worm, you wouldn't know who I am. You wouldn't have any idea about our relationship. You'd just be a worm. Why would I date a random worm?
Would turn the question on you:
Ran, Koko, Mikey, Hanma, Ryusei
Would you still love me if I was a worm? Would you take care of me when I'm no longer sexy and rich? If yes, then yeah, me too. And if no, well then you already know the answer
A/N
I know a lot of people have probably made some variation of this, but I wanted to make one as well, so enjoy!
THE 8TH GEN BLACK DRAGONS LEADERโโโ้ปๅท ใคใถใ. my very first vgen comm ! thank u @ekteneia-chan for always trusting me with izana โก my commissions are open on vgen . [ โธ ]ย speedpaint .
Kakucho rubbed his temple, biting back the groan he could feel building in his throat, opting instead of the far safer option of a sigh. Not this shit again.
โIf you look at her, I will kill you,โ Izana continued calmly, his arms folded and hidden within the sleeves of his kimono, those blank violet eyes giving nothing away even as he stared down the rest of the Tenjiku executives. โIf you breathe at her, I will kill you.โ
Every single goddamn year since you and Izana have been together, this exact scenario has never failed not to play out on New Yearโs Eve, like some sort of devious divine torture that Kakucho couldnโt stop from recurring. โIzana, this really isnโt the best way to start the new year,โ was all he could get out as the black-haired Vice-Captain rubbed at his temples, watching the two Haitani brothers awkwardly shuffling their feet at that empty violet gaze fell on them accusingly, their eyes falling to the ground in a rare show of deference.ย
It was crystal clear who the Tenjiku President thought were the biggest threats to you, but what Kakucho couldnโt understand was why Izana didnโt simply order them out of the queue. This could all have been a private affair.
Maybe he wanted to show you off to his executives, as he usually did. Maybe he wanted to flex his might at you.
Whatever it was, it was between Izana and the divines, but Kakucho did wish that Izana took some pity on them from time to time.
โโโโโ
The temple grounds buzzed with the sound of conversations of the crowds waiting in a line that seemed to stretch out a mile behind them like a larger-than-life snake. Kakucho checked his watch again. Another five minutes before the queue started moving, the first rings of the suzu bell ushering in the new year alongside the explosion of fireworks overhead.ย
And yet, you were still nowhere in sight.ย
No wonder Izana was getting angsty.
Not that the white-haired boy had been the one to get here three hours early to be so in the front of the queue, no. He had instead simply โsuggestedโ his Tenjiku executives not make him wait in line. And all six of them had turned up to make it happen, unwilling to risk his wrath when it came to something as important as celebrating New Yearโs Eve with you. The group of six executives had split into two groups, with Kakucho, Ran and Rindo staying in the main queue for the suzu bell, and Muto, Shion and Mochi heading off for the Joya no Kane ceremony queue on the other side of the temple.ย
Izana had only wandered up around five minutes ago with a hot drink in hand for himself and none for them. But he had clearly expected you to be already here waiting for him like the rest of Tenjiku, despite Izana hating the idea of leaving you alone with his executives without his supervision, despite Izana refusing to drive up to Tokyo to meet you, instead insisting you travel down to Yokohama to meet him even if it took you twice as long to get here by public transportation.
Ye, the tan-skinned boy was hardly in the best of moods at the moment. And it was only getting fouler with every second you werenโt here, his eyes starting to narrow and his brows creasing as he scanned down the orderly line. Kakucho felt a bead of perspiration roll down the side of his head as he looked at his watch again, willing it to go slower so that you could get here in time.
โHow if we go to the back of the queue?โ Ran suggested almost cheerfully, with Rindo simply nodding along as fast as he humanly can, his blue and yellow hair whipping around with gusto as he did. โOr we can go check on the others. We really donโt mind much.โ
Really, they would rather just exit the line that they had been queuing in and go over and bully Shion than be the target of Izanaโs wrath.ย
โ
โThere you are, Izzy!โ
The moment your voice floated over, the Tenjiku Heavenly Kings could only watch in awe as any promise of violence on Izanaโs face instantly evaporated, melting away to reveal a soft, indulgent look, purple eyes whirling around to land on you as you excused your way past everyone else towards the front of the line where they had been waiting. Hurrying over the uneven stone steps, you had the bottom of your kimono slightly pulled up to keep yourself from tripping, long sleeves swaying freely with every shuffle-step you took, kinchaku hanging from one wrist.ย
Next to Izanaโs handsome yet angry red and black-patterned kimono, yours looked gentle. The ying to his yang, Kakucho thought, watching you nuzzle into the white-haired boyโs side, one tanned arm slipping around your waist to hold you steady.ย
โYouโre late,โ Izana mumbled to you, right as the first fireworks lit up the cloudless night sky, bursting into vibrant colors that momentarily shone brighter than the full moon.
โI couldnโt find you,โ you responded, turning your face up to beam at him. โThat and the train station is quite a walk away.โ
Kakucho took a deep breath, letting out a sigh of relief as his sole working red eye caught Ranโs violet ones, right before the older Haitani arched one eyebrow in a silent response and the two brothers slipped off, disappearing into the crowds. Another New Year Eveโs down without incident. The black-haired boy really couldnโt wish for a better outcome.
Summary: Youโll just keep him around until graduation and then pull off a clean break. After all, a notorious delinquent doesnโt exactly belong on your resume forever.
Warnings: Threats of violence, graphic depictions of violence, power imbalance, forced relationship, forced kissing.
Author's Notes: N/A
You are dating Ran Haitani.
The sentence sounds absurd, no matter how many times you think it. Yet, itโs the exact rumor currently keeping the back row of the classroom occupied, growing a little more exaggerated with every passing week. Did you hear? Sheโs dating Ran Haitani.
People stare, of course. You canโt exactly blame them. Everyone in the district knows what he is, even if they only dare to say it when his back is turned.
Some say he belongs to some famous gangs. Others swear he used to run half the city with his younger brother before he was even old enough to drive. Though you arenโt entirely sure of the specifics. Ran doesnโt volunteer the details of his evenings, and you have never been inclined to press him for them. Whenever you ask where he disappeared all weekend, he smiles and says, "Out."
When you ask with who, he answers, "People."
Maybe ignorance really is bliss.
To be fair, Ran was the one who pursued you first. Around Roppongi, he and his younger brother, Rindo, are known as the most stylish delinquents you could ever encounter. โYou still remember the afternoon he showed up outside the school gates, leaning against a polished motorcycle. He had these ridiculous, heavy earrings that caught the sun every time he tilted his head, looking completely out of place against the drab brick of the building.
Amidst a sea of a hundred identical school uniforms, Ran stood out entirely. When he walked straight through the crowd and stopped in front of you, you actually looked behind yourself to make sure, as the bewildered stares of your peers prickled against your back.ย
You have been making questionable decisions ever since.
It's not as though dating him is miserable.
Ran remembers your favorite snacks. He waits outside after class when it rains. He complains whenever you refuse to let him carry your bag, then carries it anyway. But he is far from an ideal, textbook boyfriend. He is still a reckless teenager with a life full of secrets. He completely forgot your three-month anniversary, showing up three days late without a single clue until you brought it up. Sometimes he just vanishes entirely for days at a time, leaving your texts on read. When he finally resurfaces, he acts like no time has passed at all, casually returning with a random little trinket that he completely refuses to explain,
Dangerous people, you've learned, don't have to be cruel to be dangerous.
There are rumors, tooโdarker ones that don't quite fit the glossy magazine image of him. You know he spent time in juvenile detention when he was younger. Though you don't know the reason whyโyou just assume he got into a bad street fight. Rebellious teenagers do things like that all the time, right?
_
During attempts at sneaking out, your hands shake so badly that you nearly drop your phone while trying to text him. You ease your bedroom window open and discover, to your horror, that Ran has somehow already climbed halfway up the tree beside your house.
"Are you insane?" you whisper.
"A little," he winks, entirely unbothered by the height.
The latch on your window has been loose for years. Your father keeps saying he'll fix it whenever he has time. Apparently, Ran has noticed, he pushes it open the rest of the way and motions for you to climb through.
"There is no way that this is safe," you hiss.
Ran lets out a low chuckle. "Look on the bright side. Itโll be funny if you fall."
"You are the worst boyfriend imaginable," you glare at him, swinging one leg over the windowsill anyway.
The moment you look down, the dark ground suddenly looks miles further away than it did from the safety of your room. The cold night air bites at your bare ankles. You hesitate, your fingers locking onto the window frame in a sudden wave of panic.
Ran tilts his head, a knowing smile tugging at his lips as he looks up at you. "Don't tell me you're backing out now? You trust me, don't you?"
"...Yeah."
The answer leaves your mouth before your brain can even voice a protest.
You let go. For one terrifying second, as the wind rushes past your ears, you are certain you've made the worst decision of your life.
Then a pair of arms catches you around the waist before your feet ever reach the ground. Ran steadies you, waits until you're balanced.
"Told you," he flashes a wicked grin and taps his fingers against your hip.ย
Your heart is pounding hard enough to qualify as a medical emergency.
He parked his motorcycle a few blocks away, fully aware of how loud the engine is and determined not to wake your parents. He takes your hand, pulling you along the quiet sidewalk.
โWhen you reach the bike, you notice he already has your helmet resting on the seat. He bought it weeks ago after deciding that borrowing one from Rindo was "gross." You meet Rindo from time to time when they hang out, and even the younger brother is nice to you, occasionally tossing a playful, teasing comment your way.
You scoop the helmet up, then notice he isn't moving to grab his own.
"Aren't you wearing one?" you ask, crossing your arms and planting your feet.
Ran just chuckles, tossing his long braids over his shoulder as he swings a leg over the motorcycle. "Don't have one."
"You absolutely have one."
"I absolutely left it somewhere," he says, flashing an innocent smile that convinces exactly nobody.
"So I'm not getting on until you wear one."
He sighs dramatically, slouching over the handlebars. "You've become really bossy lately. You know it messes up my hairโ"
"Ran."
You don't budge, holding his gaze until he groans. Reaching into the side compartment, he pulls out the hidden second helmet and straps it on over his braids.
"So you did bring one," you say.
"I was hoping you'd forget."
"You've known me for six months."
Ran clicks his visor down, his eyes curving into a crinkle. "I keep hoping."ย
Once you climb on behind him, the quiet night shatters. Ran guns the engine and races through the empty streets, the city opens around the two of you in streaks of red brake lights and glowing convenience stores, late-night restaurants spilling laughter onto the sidewalks, apartment windows shining like stars stacked on top of one another. He purposely drives a little too fast, taking the sharp turns that force you to squeeze your arms tightly around his waist, burying your face into his back.ย
โ"Ran! Slow down!" you yell over the wind.ย
"I am!" Ran laughs, the vibration of his chest rumbling right against your hands as he speeds up just a fraction more to tease you.
"You absolutely are not!"
โThe wild ride ends when he pulls up to a massive arcade in a bustling, sleepless district of Tokyo. Inside, the atmosphere is loud and entirely washed in brilliant, flashing neon lights.
โRan is an incredibly attentive date. Before you can even suggest a game, he buys a ridiculous, heavy cup full of tokens and hands it over to you. He says if you both don't use them all then youโll lose trying.
You spend the next hour doing exactly that.
You lose spectacularly at basketball.
You somehow finish last against a group of twelve-year-olds in a racing simulator.
โLater, you challenge him to a racing game, sitting side-by-side in the plastic arcade seats. You end up losing terribly, your virtual car crashing into a wall on the final lap. Ran throws his head back and laughs, completely delighted by your frustration, before dropping another token into your slot to let you try again when you glares at him.
Then he wanders over to a claw machine.
"Pick one," he says, tilting his head toward the colorful prizes inside.
You glance at the tangled heap of plushies. "Don't bother. They're rigged."
"So?" Ran scoffs softly, already dropping a token into the slot. On his very first try, the claw grabs a ridiculously oversized lavender rabbit and drop it into the chute.ย
"There you go." He retrieves it and places it into your arms like a trophy. "That was almost too easy."ย
"You cheated," you say.ย
"I didn't, some of us just have actual talent," he says, nudging your shoulder as the arcade lights dance across his grin.ย
You hug the rabbit a little tighter and decide not to answer. โOf course, you arenโt entirely stupid. You know this little arrangement carries a certain degree of risk. Your family would harbor a collective stroke if they ever saw him, and your noisier relatives would spend the next three major holidays dissecting the disaster of you associating with someone so clearly tied to gang affiliations.ย
Even your cousins, who think getting a tattoo behind your ear counts as rebellion, would suddenly discover the value of family tradition.
Gang members don't settle down.
Gang members don't have futures.
Gang members bring trouble to your doorstep.
Perhaps that's why you've never told them.
You will keep him around until graduation. Let him serve as the thrilling backdrop to your final year of youth, and then you'll thank Ran for the memories, wish him well, and quietly disappear into a future with internships and office jobs and respectable people. After all, a notorious delinquent doesnโt exactly belong on your resume forever.
Around midnight, the heavy crowd inside the arcade finally starts thinning out. You and Ran step back out into the cool night air and head toward the parking lot. You yawn as you follow Ran toward the rows of metal bicycles, the lavender rabbit tucked beneath one arm. Your throat feels completely parched from the heat of the machines and talking over the loud music.
"I'm freezing," you mention, shifting the plush prize in your arms, "and I'm getting so thirsty."
He glances sideways at you. "Want a drink?"
"If they have melon soda."
"They better," he says, already scanning the aisle for the vending machines.ย
The vending machines inside the arcade greet the two of you with rows of empty shelves. Everything worthwhile has already been bought by students and couples lingering long after curfew.
โ"Wait by the bike," Ran says, slipping his hands into his jacket pockets. "There's another set of machines just around the corner. I'll be right back."
โYou nod and keep walking toward his motorcycle. He doesn't seem worried. Why would he be?ย
You're standing under bright lights in a public parking lot attached to a busy entertainment district. Security cameras and people are wandering in and out, nothing bad happens in places like this.
At least, that's what you tell yourself.
You lean against a railing and absentmindedly squeeze the stuffed rabbit's oversized ears.
The lot empties little by little, leaving vast stretches of dark asphalt between the flickering streetlamps. That's when you notice a group of three or four guys has been loitering near the edge of the lot. They wear mismatched streetwear and look thoroughly disheveled.ย
โSensing an easy target, they move in.ย
โ"Hey there," the guy in the front says, a nasty grin spreading across his face. "You're out pretty late."
"I'm waiting for someone," you say, offering a polite smile that doesn't reach your eyes.
"Yeah?"
The tallest one glances around the parking lot.
"Looks like you're alone."
Hearing that, you take a cautious step backward, your stomach does a sharp, ugly flip.
Almost instantly, the shadows shift. Another guy steps sideways, his laughter cutting through the quiet air. They quickly fan out, blocking your path to the motorcycle and cutting off your route back to the bright entrance of the arcade.
"Come on, we're just talking," another say. "That's a pretty nice bike you're leaning on. Your boyfriend leave you behind?"
Your fingers tighten around the plush rabbit. You tell yourself to stay calm, they're probably just trying to scare you.
A force suddenly hits one of them from behind.
โThere is a loudโhollow crack of metal meeting a skull. The guy doesn't even have time to scream; his eyes roll back, and his body collapses instantly onto the asphalt, completely unconscious and limp.
โThe remaining three guys gasp, spinning around in panic. Standing in the dim light of the streetlamp is Ran.
His eyes are half-lidded, yet his expression completely blank as he looks at the group. In his right hand, he holds a silver telescoping baton that glints under the neon light.
His gaze drifts from the unconscious boy to the others, then to you. "You okay?"
Your voice refuses to cooperate, but you nod anyway.
Only then does he look back at the remaining boys. Recognition spreads across the leader, his face goes entirely pale.ย
โ"M-Haitani..." the leader stammers, his confidence evaporating into pure terror. "We didn't knowโ"
โ"Theyโre with me," Ran interrupts, tossing the drink bottle lightly in the air and catching it.ย
โThe guys start backing up, raising their hands in frantic apology, desperately trying to defuse the situation. โBut it is already too late.ย
โBefore the leader can even turn to run, Ran moves with terrifying speed. The heavy metal baton strikes the man's collarbone with a horrific, splintering sound. The man drops to the asphalt, screaming, but Ran doesn't stop. He swings again, the metal cracking against ribs and jaws.ย
The other two try to run, but Ran already catches one by the collar, dragging him backward and slamming his head repeatedly into the brick wall of the arcade until the man slides down, leaving a smeared trail on the masonry. The final thug falls to his knees, sobbing and covering his face, but Ran simply stands over him, methodically bringing the baton down again, and again, and again.
โYou stand frozen by the motorcycle, while Ran keeps striking long after the man stops moving, long after the whimpering dies down. The brutal reality of the violence knocks the breath straight out of you.ย
As the groans of the barely conscious men echo across the empty parking lot, you stare at blood and teeth spray across the concrete, utterly terrified of the person you've been dating.
The sound of metal striking bone finally stops.
โRan stands over the bodies, breathing easily as if he had just finished a light workout. With a practiced flick of his wrist, he collapses the bloody baton back into its compact size and slips it away. When he turns around to look at you, his eyes instantly soften, the terrifying vacancy disappearing as he spots the plush prize lying in the dirt.
โHe steps toward you, lifting a plastic convenience store bag. "Hey. I got your drink, andโ"
โYou take a violent step backward, your entire body shaking. Your breath hitches, your chest heaving as you stare at his fingersโfingers that are dusted with a light spray of someone else's blood.
โRan freezes. His hand hovers in the empty air between you as he registers the horror in your expression. For a split second, a flash of something unreadable cuts through his usual calm, but he forces his face back into a reassuring expression. He takes a slow step back, giving you space.
โ"Woah, easy. Look at me," he says, his voice incredibly soft, dropping down to that low, soothing tone he uses when he's teasing you. "It's just me. It's Ran. I'm not going to hurt you. I would never, ever hurt you. You know that, right?"
You can barely nod. Your jaw is locked tight, your knees shaking so violently you feel like you might collapse into the dirt alongside the discarded plush prize. Ran notices the terror locking up your joints. He doesn't push it. Instead, he carefully picks up the fallen stuffed animal, dusts it off with a clean corner of his jacket, and gently sets it on the seat of the bike.
โIt takes a long time for your breathing to slow down. You let him guide you back onto the motorcycle, though you hold onto his jacket with stiff, trembling fingers this time, keeping your eyes strictly averted from the dark stains on the pavement.
The ride away from the arcade is a total blur. He drives slowly this timeโpainfully soโand neither of you says a word. You don't even realize you're trembling until you notice the vibration in your own hands.
Ran notices first. At the next red light, he reaches back as though to squeeze your arm.
You flinch.
His hand stops dead in midair. Then, he withdraws it without a sound, his fingers slipping back onto the handlebars just as the traffic light changes to green.ย
Eventually, the motorcycle pulls into a tiny neighborhood park squeezed between apartment buildings. Ran leads you to a wooden bench, silently handing you the cold bottle of your favorite drink along with a small plastic cup of ice cream. It's ridiculous. He's treating you like a kid who just fell off a bicycle, completely ignoring the fact that he just fractured three men's skulls a block away.ย
โYou don't drink it. You just stare at the melting ice cream, the plastic spoon heavy in your hand, entirely unable to swallow a single bite. Neither of you talks for a long time, until Ran suddenly reaches toward you again. This time, slowly. Giving you every opportunity to pull away.
When you don't, he wraps both arms around you and draws you against his chest, burying his face into the crook of your neck, holding you as if you might vanish if he lets go.
โ"Ran?" you whisper against his shoulder, your voice small.
โ"I'm sorry..." he murmurs, his grip tightening.
โYou blink against the dark fabric of his jacket, confused by the sudden vulnerability.
โ"I'm sorry for leaving you all alone. For letting those idiots get close to you..." His voice cracks slightly, filled with a terrifyingly genuine guilt. "I'm sorry."
โHe holds you tighter, his chest rising and falling against yours. "Next time, call my name out loud. I promise I'll come to you right away."
Looking at him now, the monster from the parking lot feels like a distant, bad dream. You want to believe this version of him. You want to believe that the danger is something he can just switch off when heโs with you.
Slowly, you reach your hands up, cradling the back of Ran's head, letting your fingers slide through his neat braids as you lean heavily against him.
โ"I'm sorry, too," you whisper.
โRan pulls back just an inch, looking down at you with a curious expression. "For what?"
โYou consider the question.
For dragging him into your life. For making him worry. For being afraid of him. For wishing you had never seen what happened in that parking lot. For knowing that nothing feels quite the same anymoreโ
Instead, you mumble, "I don't know."
โRan blinks, the gravity of the moment instantly evaporating. His lips twitch into an annoyed pout. He even makes a ridiculous, exasperated face, entirely ruining the tragic romance of the mood.
"...Seriously?"
"It sounded better in my head," you shrug.
Ran scoffs, rolling his eyes as he lets go of you just enough to lean back against the bench. "Here I am, pouring my heart out, and you're making jokes? You are completely heartless."
โ"You're the one who made it weird," you tease back weakly.
โRan huffs, but the easy, lazy smile quickly slides back onto his face. He reaches over, playfully flicking your forehead. "Yeah, yeah. Eat your ice cream before it turns into soup, brat."
โFor the next ten minutes, the terrifying edge of the night completely melts away. You tease him about his dramatic apology, and he shoots back with his usual mocking banter. It works, too. Ran is so effortlessly charming when he wants to be that you actually find yourself laughing until the knot in your stomach completely unties itself. To anyone passing by, theyโd just see a couple of normal, stupid teenagers flirting in the middle of the night.
Itโs an incredibly nice illusion; you almost convince yourself that you can just ride this out. But then you look at his eyes. Even while he's laughing at you, the violet is completely cold. You know that if those guys walked into this park right now, Ran would do it all over again without blinking.ย
You really need to break up with him.ย
_
You pace back and forth across your bedroom floor, staring down at your phone until the screen blurs. Your heart thumps against your ribs. You have been fighting with yourself for the past hour, rewriting the same text message a dozen times before you finally find the courage to hit send.
The message is painfully short.ย
Are you busy?
You stare at the screen afterward, immediately regretting it.
Maybe this is a terrible idea, asking him to hang out one last time before ending things is unnecessarily cruel, instead of just ripping the bandage straight off.
Your thumb hovers over the message, wondering if deleting it would somehow erase the fact that you sent it.
Your phone vibrates.
No. Want to go somewhere?
You blink, the reply came so quickly that it feels automated.
You type back before you can overthink it.
Sure.
You figure you have at least an hour to prepare yourself while you wait for a reply mentally. But less than ten minutes later, the distinct rumble of a motorcycle engine vibrates right outside your house.
You scramble down the stairs, and when you open the front door, Ran is already idling at the curb. He's in his gang uniform, leaning back against the seat with one hand on the handlebar.
"Ran? Wow, you got here fast." You jog over to him, nervously adjusting the strap of your bag. "I didn't mean to drag you out so abruptly. You weren't busy, right?"
Ran shifts his head, giving you a lazy smile through the open visor of his helmet. "For you? Never. I have all the time in the world."
Right on cue, his phone starts buzzing furiously inside his jacket.
Ran sighs, a faint flicker of annoyance crossing his face before he pulls the device out. Instead of putting it to his ear, he hits the speaker button. Instantly, Rindoโs voice completely explodes through the line, so loud and angry it cuts right through the rumble of the motorcycle engine.
"Ran, you absolute idiot! Where the hell did you go?!" Rindo yells, sounding completely out of breath and incredibly stressed.
"I'm outside," Ran says, calmly moving the phone an inch farther from his ear.
"I know you're outside! We're in the middle of a meeting, you can't just leave!"
You open your mouth to tell Ran he needs to go back to Roppongi, but Ran doesn't look remotely guilty.
He stares straight ahead at the road, presses the power button on the side of the phone, and holds it down until the screen goes completely black. He slides the dead phone back into his pocket, turns his head back to look at you, and gives you a reassuring nod.
"...Anyway, what do you want to do today?" he says.
"...That's it?" You stare at him. "You just hung up on your brother."
"He'll get over it," Ran waves a hand dismissively.
He swings one leg over the motorcycle and offers you the spare helmet. "So? Where are we going?"
"I haven't decided." You take the helmet, forcing an awkward laugh as you climb onto the back of the bike.ย
"Good, we've got all day."
As you wrap your arms around his waist, you squeeze your eyes shut. You need to make this afternoon completely perfect. If you can just keep him in a great mood, keep things fun, and let him down easy, everything will go smoothly. It has to.
You do not notice the way Ran glances back over his shoulder, studying your expression for a heartbeat longer than usual.
He doesn't say anything.
You pull him toward the high-end streetwear district, a bustling maze of sleek glass storefronts and trendy boutiques. Since your ultimate goal is to soften him up before the final blow, you throw yourself into the role of the attentive girlfriend.
Ran is entirely in his elementโhe loves fashion, and it shows. You spend the next hour steering him from one window display to another, nodding eagerly as he critiques the latest seasonal drops and points out pieces he thinks would look good on you.
"You'd look cute in that knit," he muses, leaning his shoulder against a pristine glass pane, his violet eyes tracking your reflection. "Maybe we should go inside and buy it."
"No, no, just looking today!" you say quickly, forcing a bright, airy laugh that feels a little too loud in your own ears.
You are working hard to keep this mood flawless. Normally, youโd roll your eyes at his arrogance, but today you find yourself smiling until your cheeks literally ache, hold his hand whenever he offers it, and make sure to laugh at every single one of his comments, even the ones that aren't funny.ย
But underneath the performance, your nerves are completely frayed. Your stomach is knotted in a tight, agonizing ball, and your skin feels hyper-sensitive. Every time your fingers brush against his, they are trembling slightly. Whenever he looks away, your smile instantly drops, your eyes darting nervously to your phone to check the time.
Finally, you decide you can't stretch the afternoon out any longer. The designated hour has arrived.
You stop on the sidewalk, smoothing down your clothes and looking up at him with the most casual expression you can muster.
"Hey, I'm kind of hungry," you suggest, gesturing down the street. "There's a really cute, crowded bakery just around the block. Let's get a coffee."
"A bakery?" Ran repeats, his eyes narrowing just a fraction in an unreadable expression before his easygoing grin slips back into place. He reaches out, his fingers brushing a stray lock of hair behind your ear with a touch so gentle it makes your heart stop. "Sounds perfect. Lead the way."
โThe air smells warmly of sweet vanilla and fresh pastry, a sharp contrast to the cold knot of dread tying itself in your stomach. The space is completely packed with chattering couples, students studying, and families buying bread. You picked this spot on purpose. It is public, and it is crowdedโa built-in safety net. There is a zero percent chance Ran would ever try to do anything reckless with fifty witnesses staring directly at him.
You rehearse the speech in your head over and over until the words lose all meaning. I'm grateful for everything, let's end things while both still happy.
You discard every version. They all sound fake.
โRan sits across from you in the booth, casually swirling an iced coffee with his straw. He reaches across the table and steals half your pastry.
"That was mine."
Somehow, despite everything, you still glare at him.
"I know," he shrugs, popping the piece into his mouth without a shred of regret.
You almost laugh. But then you remember exactly why you are sitting here, and the laughter dies completely before it can even reach your mouth.
"Graduation is next week," you started, your voice slightly tight as you tried to ease into the conversation. "Have you actually thought about what comes next? Youโll eventually have to get a real job, you know. Settle down after high school. You can't just run around the streets forever and blowing off your brother's gang meetings."
Ran didn't look annoyed by the suggestion. Instead, he looked genuinely, deeply amused by the entire concept.
"A real job?" he murmured, wiping the sugar from his fingers and tilting his head. "And miss out on all the thrill? Please. The straight and narrow is far too boring for me."
Hearing those words, the final thread of your hope snapped. It was the ultimate confirmation that it wasn't a rebellious trend he was going to outgrow or leave behind for university.ย
The knot in your stomach tightened until it physically hurt. You couldn't stretch this out for another minute.ย
"I think..."
Taking a deep breath, your fingers tightly gripping the edge of your seat, you finally say the words.ย
"I think we should break up."
The noise of the bakery continues around you.
โRan doesnโt look angry at that. Instead, that smile just stretches across his lips, completely calm. He sets his coffee down with a soft click against the wood.
โ"A breakup?" Ran repeats. He glances around the loud bakery, taking in the close proximity of the families at the next table, before fixing his eyes back on you. "Well, itโs a bit too noisy to talk about something that serious here, don't you think? Letโs go somewhere a little more private. Thereโs a quiet alley right around the corner. It's just a small walk."
โPanic floods your chest like ice water. Your breath hitches. You chose this place precisely to avoid being alone with him.
"Ran, no, let's justโwe can talk right here," you say, your voice cracking slightly as you try to force a casual laugh. "It's fine, we don't need to go anywhereโ"
"Youโve been acting weird the entire day, you know?" Ran cuts you off softly.
โAs you look at him, you catch a look in his eyes that you have never seen before. The playful warmth he always reserves for you is utterly gone. His violet eyes are completely flat, dead, and freezing coldโthe exact same dead expression he had right before he shattered a man's jaw with his baton.
"Did you really think I didn't notice that?" he asks, his chuckle quiet and entirely devoid of warmth. "Get up, we're taking that walk."
He slides his chair back, the wooden legs scraping loudly against the floor. He stands up, his tall frame instantly blocking out the warm bakery lights, casting a long shadow over your table.
Before you can even protest, he tosses a few bills onto the table to cover the drinks and waits for you. โYour legs feel like lead as you stand up and follow him out the door.
โThe walk down the sidewalk is excruciating. Ran steps at a leisurely pace, his hands tucked casually into his jacket pockets, looking for all the world like a boyfriend enjoying an afternoon stroll.ย
โ"Ran, wait," you stammer, scrambling to keep up with his long strides, your voice rising in a panicked rush. "I-I was just kidding, okay? It was a joke. I just wanted to see your reaction! You know how I am. I didn't mean it, I swear. Let's just go back inside and get some cake, alright? Ran?"
โYou keep rambling, throwing out every excuse you can think of. Ran doesn't interrupt you. He just keeps walking, occasionally humming in mock understanding, letting you dig yourself deeper and deeper into your own terror.
โFinally, he turns a sharp corner, guiding you out of the afternoon sun and into the dim, narrow shadows of a brick alleyway.ย
โRan stops walking and you nearly walk into him. For several seconds, neither of you moves.
Then he turns around, looking down at you. "Tell me something... why did you think my brother and I went to juvenile detention?"
The question catches you off guard, you nod uncertainly.
"I... I heard you got into a bad street fight. With a rival gang."
โRan lets out a chuckle that sends a violent shiver straight down your spine. He looks upward for a moment, studying the slice of gray sky between the buildings.
Then he speaks again.
"I killed someone."
The sentence lands so softly that your brain refuses to process it.
You stare at him, waiting for the punchline, for the grin and him to say he got you. But none comes.
"When we were younger," he continues, closing the distance between you, "there was a fight between gangs, my brother and I caught the leader of the rival faction."
He reaches out, his thumb gently, almost tenderly, tracing the line of your jaw.
"It got out of hand. And I beat him so badly his skull fractured under my hands."
โThe alleyway goes completely silent.ย
Your breath hitches as you instinctively try to twist your face out of his hand, your palms coming up to push at his chest.
"I didn't want you to find out like this," he sighs quietly. His voice is so calm that it almost tricks you into forgetting what he just admitted.
Your thoughts become tangled. You don't know whether to apologize, to cry, or to run. To pretend none of this happened.
Instead, you whisper, "I think I should go home."ย
Ranโs gentle demeanor drops in a second. His grip on your jaw instantly tightens, squeezing your jawline hard enough to bruise, completely locking your head in place.ย
With his other hand, he reaches into his pocket. There is a sharp clack, and the silver telescoping baton extends. He slowly presses the cold, heavy metal cylinder directly against your collarbone, right over the racing pulse at the base of your neck.ย
"Letโs make one thing perfectly clear, then," Ran murmurs, his violet eyes wide and unblinking. "I love this pretty face of yours too much. It would be a terrible shame to see it bruised up... or worse. Do you understand me?"
He leans in closer, the suffocating scent of his cologne filling your nose as his gaze locks onto your trembling lips. The cold tip of the metal baton presses deeper into your collarbone.
โ"Oh, you have no idea how much I adore you," he continues, his voice dropping into a soft, reverent whisper that makes your skin crawl. "I think about you constantly. I look at you and I just want to keep you safe in my pockets forever. I would destroy anythingโor anyoneโthat tries to take you away from me. Even you."
โHe pulls back just enough to look into your panicked, tear-stained face, his thumb softly wiping away a stray tear. "So, let's try this again. You love me, right? And we're going to stay together for a very, very long time."
Your eyes sting. You don't know whether you're about to cry or simply stop breathing.
Finally, barely above a whisper, you answer.ย
"...I love you."ย
Slowly, the crushing pressure on your jaw eases. You hadn't even realized how tightly your own fingers had closed around his until now. Ran collapses the baton with a smooth flick of his wrist and tucks it away.ย
Before you can pull away, he cups your face once more. He leans down and presses his lips to yours in a deep kiss.
When he pulls back, his fingers return to being uncannily gentle, smoothing over the red marks his grip just left on your skin, entirely uncaring of the pain he caused. He even reaches down to fix the collar of your shirt, patting it flat.
"There you go," he says, his voice returning to that lazy, cheerful purr. "You shouldn't make up silly jokes like that anymore. It makes me think I'm not taking good enough care of you."ย
He steps back, clearing your path out of the shadows, and extends his hand to you. "Now, let's go finish our date."
Your entire body is trembling. Your jaw throbs, and the phantom sensation of cold metal still lingers against your throat.ย
Swallowing down the bitter taste of tears, you slowly raise your shaking hand and place it in his.
Ranโs fingers immediately close around yours, locking your hand in a tight grip. He pulls you along as he casually strolls back out into the morning light.
In an instant, you are back on the bustling main street. The sun is shining warmly, the cheerful bell of the bakery is ringing in the distance, and normal high school students are laughing on the sidewalks.
Ran looks down at you, swinging your joined hands playfully between you as you walk. "So, what do you want to do next?"
You force your lips to curve upward. You swallow the terror in your throat and force a small, compliant smile, nodding along to his words.ย
That night, you find yourself sitting cross-legged on the soft carpet of your bedroom. Youโve just closed the window, letting the cool night air drift away. Suddenly, your phone vibrates on the wooden nightstand, breaking the stillness and pulling your attention to the screen.
The "I broke up with you not because I stopped loving you but because I realized you're too good for me and I'm terrified I'll ruin you, so I let you go thinking I was being noble, and now I'm absolutely drowning in regret and willing to grovel" pipeline. I'm absolutely feral for this. Let's go!!
I picked the ones who'd feel unworthy most viscerally and show how they'd crawl back.
โ TOKYO MANJI GANG
Mikey
Why he broke up: You were his light. The only person who made the darkness quiet. And that terrified him. He started seeing his own "dark impulse" creep into moments with youโa flash of possessiveness, a nightmare that made him snap awake and check that you were still breathing. He convinced himself it was only a matter of time before he destroyed you like he destroys everything else. So he ended it. Coldly. No explanation that made sense. Just "I can't do this anymore." He walked away before you could see him cry.
The regret: Every day without you is gray. His snacks taste like nothing. Draken notices Mikey staring at nothing, and when asked, Mikey just says, "She's safer now." But he doesn't believe it anymore. He realizes that you made him saferโyou were the anchor, not the target. Every girl he sees, he compares to you, and none come close. Your laugh echoes in his head. He finds an old photo of you two and just... stares at it for hours.
Crawling back: He shows up at your door at 3 AM on his bike. No grand speech preparedโhe's never been good with words when it matters. His eyes are red-rimmed. He just says, "I thought I was protecting you. But I think I just broke the only thing that was keeping me alive. I know I don't deserve another chance. But I'll spend the rest of my life trying to earn one. Please." He'll wait in the cold all night if you ask him to. He's not leaving without your answer.
Draken (debated a bit to add this cause this guy has Emma)
Why he broke up: Draken's whole identity is built on being the protector, the reliable one, the pillar. But with you, he started feeling... vulnerable. You saw through the tough exterior to the orphaned boy who just wants to be loved. That scared him more than any gang fight. Then he messed upโmaybe he was too busy with Toman, missed an important date, or snapped at you from exhaustion. Instead of forgiving himself, he decided you deserved someone without his baggage, someone who could give you a normal life. He ended it with brutal honesty: "You deserve better than a gangster who can't even give you a future. I'm letting you go before I drag you down."
The regret: He functions. He leads. He fights. But Mikey is the first to notice Draken's smiles don't reach his eyes. He still checks your social media from a burner account he'd never admit to having. He fixes bikes and imagines you sitting on the back, arms around his waist. He goes on exactly zero dates. No one is you. No one else has your patience, your laugh, the way you'd trace his tattoo absentmindedly. He realizes that pushing you away wasn't protecting youโit was cowardice dressed up as honor.
Crawling back: He's not the type for big gestures, but he'll show up clean, sober, and with his heart in his throat. He'll knock, and when you open the door, he'll bow his head slightlyโDraken, bowingโand say, "I told myself I was being selfless. That was a lie. I was scared. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I ran from it. I don't expect you to take me back. But I need you to know... I'll wait. However long it takes. I'm not running again." He hands you a small giftโnot expensive, but something deeply personal he remembered you mentioned once, months ago. He remembered everything.
Takemichi. (HINA'S MAN)
Why he broke up: Takemichi's self-esteem is in the gutter. He looked at youโkind, amazing, way out of his leagueโand a voice in his head (that sounds suspiciously like his own self-doubt) whispered, "She'll realize eventually. You're a crybaby. A nobody. She's just with you out of pity." The thought consumed him. He started overthinking every interaction. Maybe he fumbled somethingโforgot an anniversary, got flustered when your friends asked what he "does." Instead of communicating, he spiraled and preemptively ended things, giving some shaky, tearful speech about how "you deserve someone who can give you the world" while internally begging you to argue.
The regret: Instant. The moment the words leave his mouth, he wants to take them back. He cries โ a lot. Chifuyu and the others have to physically stop him from calling you 47 times. He writes apology letters he never sends. He starts working out, getting a job, trying to become "worthy" of you, but nothing fills the void. He sees couples on the street and physically aches. Hina literally slaps him on the back of the head and tells him to stop being an idiot and go get you back.
Crawling back: It's messy. He shows up out of breath, tears already streaming, with a crumpled bouquet and a speech he rehearsed 100 times but immediately forgets. "I-I know I'm a crybaby and I'm weak and I'm definitely not the coolest guy, but I realized that pushing you away was the dumbest thing I've ever done โ and I've done a lot of dumb things! You're the standard. There's no one else. There never will be. I'll spend every day becoming someone worthy of you if you just... give me another chance." He's on his knees before he realizes it. Genuine, pathetic, heartfelt. He means every word.
Baji
Why he broke up: Baji's love language is fighting the world for you. But when things got serious, he looked in the mirror and saw his mother, his circumstances, his feral natureโand decided you deserved a soft, gentle love he wasn't sure he could provide. He's rough. He punches first, asks questions later. What if that roughness spills onto you? He'd rather die than hurt you. So he did the most Baji thing possible: he picked a stupid fight, said things he didn't mean, and stormed off before you could see him break. He told himself it was for your own good.
The regret: He's insufferable. Picking fights with everyone, even more volatile than usual. Chifuyu is exhausted. Kazutora notices Baji staring at his phone, thumb hovering over your contact, before shoving it in his pocket with a growl. He still wears the bracelet you gave him. He sleeps on your old hoodie. His mom asks about you, and he just grunts and leaves the room. He's miserable, and everyone knows it. He realizes he never even gave you a chance to decide if you could handle his lifeโhe decided for you. That's not protecting you. That's just fear.
Crawling back: He shows up with a split lip from a fight he got into on the way, because he's nervous. He just stands at your door, fists clenched, not meeting your eyes. "...I'm an idiot." Pause. "I thought I was doing the right thing. But all I did was make us both miserable. You're the only person who ever made me feel like I wasn't just a wild animal. I'm not asking you to fix me. I'm asking... if you'd let me be yours again. I'll do better. I swear." He finally looks up, and his eyes are wet. Baji. With tears. That's how you know.
Chifuyu
Why he broke up: Chifuyu overthinks everything. He's loyal to a fault, but he also internalizes every failure. When work at the pet shop got stressful, when Toman drama escalated, when he missed a call or forgot a dateโhe didn't see it as a busy life. He saw it as him failing you. He started pulling away, convinced he wasn't good enough, that you'd eventually leave anyway. So he ended it "first," with some painfully mature, self-sacrificing speech about "not being able to give you the attention you deserve right now" while his heart was screaming.
The regret: He cries into Peke J's fur. He replays every moment of your relationship, cataloging every mistake. He still visits your favorite cafรฉ, still orders your drink, still looks at the door hoping you'll walk in. He talks about you to Takemichi with this hollow, faraway look. "She was the one, man. And I blew it because I got in my own head." He considers every possible way to fix it but fears it's too late.
Crawling back: He shows up with your favorite coffee order, a handwritten letter, and Peke J in a little bandana that says "Sorry." He doesn't try to be cool. He's just honest. "I convinced myself I wasn't enough for you. That's not your problem to fixโit was mine. But I've realized that losing you didn't make my life easier. It made it empty. You set the standard for what love should feel like, and nothing else comes close. If you can forgive me, I promise to stop making decisions for both of us. Just... let me prove I can be the man you deserve." He's sincere, steady, and already pulling out a small calendar to show you the dates he's kept free for youโjust in case.
Kazutora
Why he broke up: This one hurts. Kazutora's trauma runs deepโabandonment, guilt, a fractured sense of self. When he started to fall for you, genuinely fall, a voice in his head (that sounds like his own worst fears) whispered, "You're a murderer. You're broken. She'll see the real you and leave." The paranoia became unbearable. Every kind word from you felt like a lie he didn't deserve. Every happy moment felt borrowed. He couldn't handle the anxiety of waiting for the other shoe to drop. So he dropped it himself. He broke up with you in the most self-destructive way possibleโpushing you away with cruel words, making you think he didn't care, because it was easier than admitting he loved you too much to let you stay with someone like him.
The regret: He spirals. Hard. Chifuyu and Baji (in timelines where Baji is alive) find him in a dark place. He doesn't eat. He doesn't sleep. He just stares at walls, muttering that he ruined the only good thing he ever had. The rehabilitation he worked so hard for feels meaningless without you. He keeps your photo. He almost throws it away a dozen times but never can. He realizes, slowly, that breaking up with you wasn't protecting you from his darknessโit was punishing himself, and you became collateral damage.
Crawling back: This takes time. He has to get to a better mental place firstโmaybe with therapy, maybe with friends forcing him to face his worth. When he finally shows up, he's trembling. His voice cracks. "I... I thought I was saving you from me. But I was just... doing what I always do. Running. Destroying. I know I'm not fixed. I may never be fully fixed. But you made me want to try. You made me believe I could be more than my worst mistake. I'm sorry I hurt you to hurt myself. If you could ever... if there's even a chance..." He can't finish. He hands you a letterโpages and pages of everything he couldn't say. It's signed with a tiger doodle. A small, hopeful smile.
Mitsuya
Why he broke up: Mitsuya carries the weight of the world on his shouldersโhis sisters, his dream, his division. He's so used to caring for everyone else that when you started caring for him, he didn't know how to handle it. He felt guilty. He'd come home exhausted from sewing all night and find you'd made dinner, and instead of feeling grateful, he felt like a burden. The breaking point? You sacrificed somethinhโmaybe an opportunity, maybe sleep, maybe your own dreamโfor him, and he couldn't stomach it. He ended things gently, kindly, with some speech about "needing to focus on his family" that even he didn't believe.
The regret: His sewing suffers. His designs are dull, uninspired. Mana and Luna ask about you constantly. "Where's Y/N-nee?" and he has no answer that doesn't make him feel like a failure. He sees a fabric you'd love and buys it on instinct, then stares at it for an hour. He realizes that you never made him feel like a burdenโhe did that to himself. You chose him every day, and he threw it away because he didn't know how to be chosen.
Crawling back: He knits you something. Of course he does. A sweater, or a scarf, in your favorite color, with a detail only you would understandโan inside joke woven into the pattern. He shows up with it folded neatly in his hands. "I'm not good at letting people take care of me. I convinced myself that accepting your love meant I was failing you somehow. But losing you taught me what failure actually feels like. You're the standard, not just for a partner, but for the kind of person I want to be. If you'll have me back, I promise to learn how to be loved. Starting now." He's calm but his hands shake slightly. The sweater fits you perfectly
Hakkai
Why he broke up: Hakkai's trauma with his brother left him with a warped sense of his own worth. He sees himself as weak, a coward, someone who needs protectingโnot someone who can protect. When your relationship deepened, he panicked. What could he possibly offer you? His brother's abuse, his shyness, his inability to even order food without stuttering? He started pulling back, canceling dates, giving one-word replies. Then he ended it entirely, with a barely-audible "You can do better than me" and ran before you could argue.
The regret: Yuzuha finds him crying in his room. He won't talk to anyone. He watches your social media from afar, seeing you move on (or trying to), and it kills him. He starts training harder, trying to become "worthy," but the motivation is hollow. Mitsuya gently tells him that strength isn't just physical, and Hakkai breaks down. "She was the first person who made me feel brave. And I pushed her away because I'm a coward."
Crawling back: He's shaking like a leaf. Yuzuha probably had to shove him toward your door. He can barely look at you. "I-I know I said... that you deserved better. And I still think that. But... but I realized... I want to be better. For you. If you'll let me." He holds out a small, nervous bouquetโhe remembered your favorite flowers. "I'm sorry I was too scared to believe someone like you could love someone like me. I'll spend every day proving I'm worth the chance you gave me." He flinches, expecting rejection. If you say yes, he'll cryโbut happy tears this time.
Sanzu
Why he broke up: Sanzu's "unworthiness" is tangled with obsession and self-destruction. He genuinely believes he's a monsterโthe drugs, the violence, the things he's done for Mikey. But then there was you. You looked at him like he was human. It terrified him. He became paranoid that he'd taint you, that his darkness would swallow you whole. In a rare moment of fractured, twisted clarity, he broke up with youโnot gently, but with manic intensity, screaming that you needed to "stay away from me before I destroy you too." He disappeared. No contact. Like he never existed.
The regret: He's worse. Much worse. The drugs don't numb the absence of you. He stalks your social media obsessively. He has photos of you he shouldn't have. He follows you from a distance, just to make sure you're safe, muttering that this is the only way he can "love" you now. But it's eating him alive. He realizes that pushing you away didn't save youโit just left him in hell alone. The scars on his mouth ache when he remembers your kisses.
Crawling back: This is dangerous and unhinged, but genuine. He shows up somewhere he knows you'll beโnot in a threatening way, but in a desperate, shaky one. His eyes are wild. His voice is raw. "I tried. I tried to let you go. But I can't. You're the only thing that makes the noise stop. I know I'm broken. I know I'm not what you deserve. But I'll do anything. I'll stop... I'll try to stop... just please. Please don't leave me in the dark." He's on the edge. Your answer could pull him back or push him over. He knows it. You know it. It's terrifying and heartbreaking. (Proceed with caution, but the love is real.)
โ BLACK DRAGON
Inupi (Seishu Inui)
Why he broke up: Inupi's loyalty is his defining trait, but it's also his curse. He's spent his life serving othersโKoko, Black Dragon, a ghost of the past. When he fell for you, he couldn't reconcile it. He felt like he was betraying his "purpose." More than that, he looked at his scarred face and his messy history and thought, "She deserves someone unmarked by all this." So he ended it quietly. No drama. Just "I'm not good for you. I'm sorry." And he walked away with the same stoic expression he wears into battle.
The regret: The scar on his face has never bothered him as much as it does now. He catches his reflection and thinks of you. He still visits the places you went together, sitting alone, saying nothing. Koko is the only one who notices something's off. "You look like you're mourning." Inupi doesn't deny it. He realizes that he's spent his whole life being loyal to causesโand you were the first person who ever felt like a cause worth putting himself first for. And he threw it away.
Crawling back: He doesn't call first. He just appears, leaning against your building, looking like he's been standing there for hours. "I've been an idiot." He speaks plainly, no excuses. "I thought I was being loyal to my path by pushing you away. But my path doesn't mean anything without you on it. You're not a distraction from my purpose. You are my purpose. If you can forgive me, I'll never make that mistake again." He reaches out, hesitant, his scarred face vulnerable in a way he never lets anyone see. His hand trembles. He'll wait forever for your answer.
Koko (Hajime Kokonoi)
Why he broke up: Koko's trauma revolves around money, loss, and the inability to save the people he loves. Akane's death shattered him. When you came along and started to heal those cracks, it triggered a panic response. He started obsessing over "providing" for you, drowning in work, treating the relationship like an investment he was failing. Then one day, he snapped. He told you he couldn't "afford" to love youโnot financially, but emotionally. He couldn't risk losing someone again. So he preemptively ended it, cold and clinical, like terminating a contract. He was trying to protect himself, not realizing he was breaking you instead.
The regret: Money loses its appeal. He makes more than ever, and it means nothing. He sits in his expensive apartment, surrounded by wealth, and feels utterly bankrupt. He still keeps your photo in his wallet. He still calculates dates like anniversaries in his head. Inupi tells him, bluntly, "You didn't lose her. You pushed her away. There's a difference." That hits Koko harder than any fist. He realizes he's been so terrified of losing you to tragedy that he caused the tragedy himself.
Crawling back: He shows up in a designer suit, looking immaculate but hollow. He can't meet your eyes at first. "I'm aware this is a bad investment pitch. But I have to try." Then he drops the business metaphor and his voice cracks. "I was so afraid of losing you that I made sure it happened on my terms. I convinced myself I wasn't worthy of being loved after... after Akane. But you loved me anyway, and I punished you for it. You're the standard. There's no one else. I've checked. I'll always check, and it'll always be you. Please. Let me reinvest in us. I promise the returns will be better this time." He's trying to make you smile with the financial joke, but his eyes are terrified. He slides a small box across the tableโnot a ring (too soon), but a key. To his place. "This is yours. It always was. I was just too scared to admit it."
โ TENJIKU
Izana Kurokawa
Why he broke up: Izana's abandonment issues are so severe that genuine love feels like a trap. When things with you got realโwhen he started to actually need youโhis trauma screamed "Run before they leave you first." He became volatile, testing you with cruelty, waiting for you to break. When you didn't, when you stayed soft and loving, it confused him so deeply that he panicked. He ended it in the worst way possible: coldly, with a twisted smile, saying something like "I'm bored of you"โ a lie so transparent it was practically a cry for help. He wanted you to hate him, because hatred was familiar. Love was terrifying.
The regret: He's a king without a kingdom. Everything tastes like ash. Kakucho watches him spiralโreckless fights, sleepless nights, staring at the horizon like you'll appear. He still wears a bracelet you gave him. He still whispers your name when he's half-asleep. He finally breaks down to Kakucho: "I did it again. I destroyed the only good thing I had because I don't know how to keep anything." He realizes that you weren't trying to trap himโyou were trying to free him. And he locked the door from the inside.
Crawling back: He doesn't know how to apologize. He's never learned. So he just shows up, looking regal and shattered all at once. He doesn't speak for a long moment. Then, quietly, without his usual arrogance: "I told you I was bored. That was a lie. I was terrified. Everyone I've ever loved has either left or died. I thought if I pushed you away first, it wouldn't hurt as much. I was wrong. It hurts more. Because this time, it was my fault." He sinks to his kneesโKing Izana, on his knees. "I don't know how to be loved. But I want to learn. Only from you. If you'll teach me. Please." He looks up, and there's no mask left. Just a broken boy who found something worth changing for.
Kakucho
Why he broke up: Kakucho has spent his life as the loyal soldier, the protector, the one who stands behind someone else's dream. When he fell for you, he started to imagine his own future for the first timeโand it scared him. He felt selfish. He felt undeserving. The scar on his face, his half-blindness, his bloody historyโwhat could he offer you? Then you had a moment of danger, maybe a close call he couldn't prevent, and he internalized it as his failure. He broke up with you the next day, saying, "I can't protect you and I can't give you the life you deserve. Find someone whole." He didn't cry in front of you. He waited until you left.
The regret: Izana notices. Kakucho is even more silent than usual, more reckless in fights, like he's looking for a punch he won't get up from. He visits your favorite places, always at a distance, just to catch a glimpse. He still has a photo of you two togetherโone of the only times he's genuinely smiling. He realizes that "whole" was never what you wanted. You wanted him. And he threw it away out of pride disguised as selflessness.
Crawling back: He shows up with a single flower and a speech he practiced a thousand times. "I told you to find someone whole. But I've realized... I was never whole until you. You saw past the scars and the violence and you loved the man underneath. I pushed you away because I thought it was noble. It wasn't. It was cowardice. I'm not asking for you to fix me. I'm asking for the chance to stand beside you again. I'll never walk away from you a second time. I swear it on my life." He offers the flower with a steady hand but vulnerable eyes. If you take it, the relief on his face could light up a city.
Ran Haitani
Why he broke up: Ran is charm and deflection. He's never let anyone past the surface. But you got there. You saw the emptiness behind the smirk, and instead of running, you stayed. That terrified him. He started making cutting jokes, deflecting affection, testing your limits. When he realized he was actually in loveโgenuinely, vulnerably in loveโhe sabotaged it. He picked a fight, said something flippant and cruel, and walked away like it meant nothing. He told Rindo later, "It's better this way. She deserves someone who isn't a performance." He almost believed it.
The regret: The smirk is gone. Rindo notices his brother is sharper, colder, but also... sadder. Ran still goes to the same bars, still orders the same drinks, still looks at the empty seat beside him. He has a photo of you saved, and sometimes he just stares at it, no quips, no jokes. Rindo finally says, "You're miserable. Go fix it." Ran laughs hollowly. "What if I can't?" But he knows he has to try.
Crawling back: He shows up with that lazy, disarming smile, but it falters quickly. "I'm supposed to be good with words. I'm drawing a blank." He runs a hand through his hair, genuinely nervous. "I've spent my whole life treating everything like a game. You were never a game. That's why I ran. You were real, and I didn't know what to do with real. I convinced myself you deserved better than a shallow Roppongi playboy. But I've realized... I wasn't shallow with you. I was the realest I've ever been. And I threw it away. If you let me back in, I promise no more performances. Just me. The me that loves you." He reaches out, palm up, no baton, no weapon, no defense. Just an open hand.
Rindo Haitani
Why he broke up: Rindo has always been in Ran's shadow, and his identity is tangled in being the "younger brother." When he fell for you, a new identity emergedโyours. And it felt amazing. Until the insecurity crept in. She'll realize Ran is more charming. She'll get bored of me. I'm just the second choice. He started acting out, getting jealous over nothing, picking fights. Then, in a moment of self-sabotaging stupidity, he broke up with you, accusing you of "wanting his brother"โa lie his own brain manufactured. He regretted it the instant he saw your face.
The regret: He's a mess. Ran finds him listening to sad music, staring at the ceiling. "I ruined it. She was the one, and I ruined it because I'm an insecure idiot." Ran tries to comfort him, but Rindo won't hear it. He stalks your social media, sees you hanging out with friends, and spirals. He starts working on himselfโnot for revenge, but because he wants to be someone you could be proud of. But he's terrified it's too late.
Crawling back: He's awkward, shuffling his feet, unable to meet your eyes. "I said some really stupid things. Things that weren't true. You never wanted Ran. You wanted me. And I couldn't believe that, because I've never been anyone's first choice. But you... you made me feel like I was. And I threw it away because I was scared. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. If you give me another chance, I'll spend every day making sure you know you're my first choice. Always." He holds out a small giftโyour favorite candy, the cheap kind you mentioned once. He remembered. He remembers everything.
โ BRAHMAN
Senju Kawaragi
Why she broke up: Senju carries the weight of leadership, morality, and her brother's legacy. She's used to being the strong one, the decision-maker, the untouchable. But with you, she was soft. She let her guard down. And then someone in Brahman made a commentโ"The leader's distracted. Maybe it's because of that partner of hers." Senju panicked. She convinced herself her love for you was a liability, not just to her, but to you. If enemies knew, you'd be a target. So she ended it, with a cold formality that was completely unlike her. "I need to focus on Brahman. This is over." She didn't even cry until she was alone.
The regret: Brahman thrives, but Senju withers. She throws herself into missions with reckless abandon. Benkei and Wakasa exchange looks. Takeomi finally corners her. "You're punishing yourself." She breaks down. "I thought I was protecting her. But I just hurt the person I love most. What kind of leader does that?" She keeps your photo in her room, hidden under her pillow. She still texts you paragraphs she never sends. She realizes that being "untouchable" was never strengthโit was loneliness disguised as duty.
Crawling back: She comes alone, no Brahman escorts, no leader aura. Just Senju. "I gave you a speech about duty. It was a lie. I was scared. Scared that loving you made me weak, when really... it made me stronger than any fight ever could. I'm so used to protecting everyone that I forgot you were never a threat. You were my safe place. And I destroyed it. If you can ever forgive me, I'll spend the rest of my life being your safe place too. No more walls. Just us." She holds out her handโthe same hand that throws punches powerful enough to crack concreteโtrembling, waiting, hoping.
Tokyo revengers headcanons of them with a girlfriend/partner whoโs very peaceful and kind?? She doesnโt really stop them from doing what they do, but in her own perspective sheโs very much of the mentality that anger takes too much of her energy? I just think the duality with that pairing could be fun ^^
(I'm not sure what characters you want me to specifically do so if u wanna see the characters you want, maybe ill do a part two ๐ซถ!!)
TR! Headcanons x s/o eader
TW! Might be OOC or out of character, cringe, corny, wrong grammar errors and bad
Manjiro "Mikey" Sano
Being around Mikey is like getting soaked in the rainy storm, it could either stop raining or create a flood, drown you and everyone in, until chaos erupts and destroys everything. That's what he's like, unpredictable, dangerous and chaotic. People would usually be scared, fear him or follow him obediently. You however, just act kind, gentle and calm. You treat him normally, not out of fear or cautiousness but just normal. When he goes quiet, the kind of quietness where people would back away out of fear, you don't. You'll sit nearby, letting the quiet atmosphere exist undisturbed, at first he'd part his lips to form a sentence but he just closes it, opens it again, then he just licks his dry lips. One time when his thoughts get dark and deeper, he'd ask. โIf I hurt my friends or you someday, would you get angry or leave me?โ You just paused, you didn't answer immediately but you smiled, gentle, calm.. As if, whatever happens, you'll always be there for him. โI won't get angry or leave you.. But, the scar won't heal that easily.โ You said, simple, calm as ever. The answer left him confused, unsettled even but somehow, it made him a bit better.
Takemichi Hanagaki
Takemichi overworks himself to fix everything, everyone, the present, the future.. All at once. He's always running, panicking, always coming up with a plan to solve or fix everything. It drains him so badly. But his girlfriend, you never tried stopping him but you help him carry it, change how he should think and fix everything. At first you didn't believe he could time travel but that look on his face? It showed so much pain, exhaustion and desperation that you couldn't help but believe his every word. When he panics, rambles and stressed, hands trembling and pulling on his hair as he forces himself to figure out everything, you'll gently hold his trembling hands away from his poor hair, calming him through something physical and steady. โOne step at a time. You can't fix anything if you're not in the right mind.โ You would say, you don't magic his fears away, but you refuse to let him drown in them. To let you both drown. When he cries, breaks down and fails, you don't rush to comfort him with big pretty words. Instead you stay, lingering, a steady and patient presence beside him. You don't tell him what to do. You're not going anywhere no matter what happens. And your presence becomes the very anchor he needs.
Takashi Mitsuya
He's already a calm and responsible person. One who lets everyone lean on him. But for you, you return that stability. You don't rely on him and you don't stop him from helping others but you stay. He doesn't have to be strong and brave all the time when he's with you. You notice how he'd add more food for his sisters and eat less, when he skips his rest, and when he says everything is fine even though he clearly is not. But you don't call him out on it. A warm drink and a snack is placed beside him while he works. Quietly helping him with small tasks. Sitting nearby so he doesnโt feel alone, but not demanding his attention either. When he thanks her, she shrugs lightly, smiles soft and genuine. โYou do a lot for everyone. I just donโt think it should be one-sided.โ Itโs simple. No dramatics or anything extra. Just simple genuine kindness. With her, Mitsuya doesnโt feel needed, he feels cared for.
Ken โDrakenโ Ryuguji
Like Mitsuya but different, he carries many responsibilities with him. He stands tall, tough and brave. He's used to it, letting people depend on him, rely on him for everything, for protection, for comfort. But you don't treat him like that, you talk to him like he's just a normal person, not some pillar or bodyguard for themselves to be protected. When he gets angry, you don't argue back. You don't need to. You just watch him fume and let it all out from all the pent up frustrations he has. Then, โYou look different when you're like that.โ Not out of accusation nor fear but just observing. It catches him off guard, unsettling him and even makes him confused. Later, when he calmed down, she didn't scold him or lecture him. Eventually, he realized he doesn't have to act tough, brave or hold everything together when he's around you. He can just exist, with you, be vulnerable with you.
Keisuke Baji
Baji normalizes shock, anger and even chaos. It's part of who he is, of his own life. So, when you don't act like that at all, just a genuine soft, kind calmness? It throws him off. He'll do something stupid, get reckless and even get into trouble in hopes of getting a reaction out of you. But you don't stop him, you don't scold him or get angry at all. Just that calm, genuine smile. โThat is a lot for just one day.โ A simple response. No yelling, no panic. Just a calm observation?? It annoys him at first, it greatly does. But eventually it piques his interest, he's intrigued. He starts lingering more, teasing her, messing with her and even just doing something to get a reaction. You don't tell him to stop or anything like that. And slowly, he feels calm around you, like no matter what he does you'll never judge him. It's like his chaos around you is nothing. You just accept him for whatever he is. And that leads him to stay.
Chifuyu Matsuno
Chifuyu is thoughtful, observant and deeply loyal. But he tends to get worried and overthink with people he cares about. Especially because of Bajiโs recent behavior. With you, it's different. You can sit together in silence, barely talk and it's never awkward. Even if you both rarely talk because of your schedules, nothing changes. When he panics sometimes, you'd say that he's overthinking it again. You don't ask him to explain everything, you just gently pull him out of it, the chaos. You don't stop him from worrying about others, you just know when to call him out when he's in too deep, sometimes by changing the topic or focusing on something else. He appreciates it, how you don't force him into things. Being with you feels like being surrounded by a steady and calm presence.
Kazutora Hanemiya
Being around Kazutora is unpredictable, it's like he wants to have a connection but he is afraid of it or that he does not deserve any of it. But you never try to fix that. You don't argue with his guilt or any of it. You don't say things like โIt wasn't your faultโ or sugarcoat your words or try to force him into changing his mindset. Instead you listen, quietly, without interrupting him and rushing him. When he breaks down, voice shaky and blaming himself, you stay to listen. โYou sound really tired.โ Not wrong, not broken, just tired. He's used to people reacting strongly, blaming him, or sugarcoating their words. But she doesn't. If he runs and escapes, you don't chase him but you don't disappear either. You'll sit nearby, leaving some stuff for him, and just existing without forcing him to accept you or let you in. It's safe.
dividers by @pixopix !
(Got the gif, picture and manga panels from Pinterest)
Being pregnant with Mikeyโs kid is like being a dojo
Not being IN one. But being the building. Where they practice
His kid performs his trademark kicks inside your womb as if they are practicing for the olympics
10 years experience at 2 years old type shit
Other than that it's a fairly easy pregnancy
Like you having zero symptoms in the first trimester type easy
The only reason you even found out you're pregnant is because your period stopped coming
You become super energetic during this time too
If you were a sloth before now you're a ninja
It's like redbull is sponsoring you from the inside
No sleeping only grinding (in this case nesting)
You definitely develop a sweet tooth so prepare to crave lots of dorayaki
You might end up giving Mikey a run for his money in this department
Gestational diabetes incoming yay
Mikey is delighted his kid shares his taste bud
But would he share his food?
No. Get your own sweets
I'm sorry but Mikey isn't gonna be the most hands-on partner during this time
Like he cares, sure. But he isn't good at taking care of others
So he makes Draken do your bidding
But he tries to become a better, more present and supportive partner
He reads all the parenting books and attends all the appointments
Even threatens the doctors if you're uncomfortable or in pain
That's his way of showing care
During the delivery, he watches in awe as the baby kicks the doctor square in the face as they are pulled out
He's in his proud dad era from the very first second
He is so careful with you afterwards
It's like he's afraid his touch is gonna break you
He is surprisingly helpful during your recovery, wanting to carry you everywhere so that "your fragile body doesn't have to touch the ground"
He even enlists Emma and Mitsuya to help out during the first few weeks so that you can recover in peace and don't strain yourself
3.9/5 stars (overall not a bad pregnancy but you do wish mikey was a bit more emotionally available)
Draken
This pregnancy has a 50/50 chance of being either very normal or very traumatising
Depends on your physical build
Like if you're above 5ft5, it's most like gonna be normal
But if you're below it, then it might be difficult carrying this big guy's big baby
Initially its gonna be fairly typical tho
Regular levels of nausea, dizziness and cramps
The baby is super serious, just like their dad
Doesn't like to bother you at all
So you feel very little disturbance from the inside (the kid started drinking respect women juice right in the womb)
Draken is a very hands-on and supportive partner (the ladies in the brothel have raised a good man savannah)
Whatever you need, he's got it in front of you before you even finish the sentence
Another guy who I believe would make you do exercises so that your body stays healthy
Although he is a bit stunted in the 'expressing his emotions' department, he tries very hard to make sure you know you're doing an amazing job and he's super proud of you
Another body worshipper, just like Mitsuya (the twin dragons be twinning fr)
Labour and delivery is where things get tricky
So it could go two ways
You could end up having really traumatic birth with lots of blood and tearing
Or you could end up giving birth in 3 pushes (thanks to all the exercises)
Either way, Draken is a king of composure
He wants to be strong so that you don't have to be
But his resolve crumbles the moment he hears his child's cry
Yeah he's wrapped around their little finger forever now
Recovery after having his kid would take some time
But worry not
He's gonna be a one-man army so that you can recover swiftly (and he can stop feeling guilty for being the reason of your pain)
4.6/5 stars (only if the birth ends up being traumatic for you)
Kazutora
This one's gonna be a very sweet experience
Minimum discomfort
Just some mild nausea and cramps but nothing too crazy
It's almost like the baby is afraid of occupying space in your womb
You don't feel kicks. You feel flutters
It's so sweet and gentle. Like the kid is saying Hi mom! I'm here
Kazutora is the emotional mess during your pregnancy
He knows he's been a horrible person in the past (he's been in therapy for it too) and can't believe he's being gifted this treasure
His hands always find a way to be on your bump
The pregnancy reveals a very domestic side of Kazutora
Think home-cooked meals, rubbing your feet, folding all the baby clothes he bought on a whim when you first told him the news
Small baby. Fast delivery
He kisses your forehead so gently once its over *chef's kiss*
From the very moment he sets his eyes on his child, he knows he will never let them go through what his parents made him go through
Recovery is a super fast process
You're back to normal within a week
But he insists on doing everything cause "you've done enough for us already"
The experience is so good you end up pregnant with baby 2 within 2 years
5/5 stars no notes
Sanzu
Cryptic pregnancy
Sanzuโs baby is stealthy just like him
So much that you don't even know you're pregnant until the baby arrives
*Insert surprised pikachu face here* for Sanzu
You're in shock but hey it was super quick and you didn't even feel a thing so that's a win right?
Right?
You're both in so much shock that Takeomi has to take the lead
He's definitely lecturing you both later
Cause how tf did neither of you know there was a kid in there
Disappointed granpa core
Sanzuโs first words to the baby are either "are you a traitor?" or "do you swear loyalty to Mikey?"
Like his mind can't fathom he's a father now
You're no better
You definitely cry about having to a good influence for the next 18 years
Like "wdym I'm gonna have to be a responsible person. I date Sanzu!"
Cause Sanzu is definitely going to teach the kid how to use a katana before they can even talk
But once the shock wears off, you're both actually thrilled to have a kid
Mikey still comes first tho
And you're delighted you were blissfully unaware
5/5 stars (but please let's never do that again)
A/N
This was mostly for the lovely @berryrev
Sorry it took so long. Hope you like it!
I didn't add Hanma cause I wanted to keep it strictly Toman but maybe in the future I'll do one for him
One of the easiest pregnancies (I'm biased leave me alone)
Ran's baby would be lazy, just like him
So expect minimum movement from the inside, to the point you have to go to the doctor because you're getting worried
The baby would be classy, so no such thing as nausea
Exhaustion is your new companion tho. Gone is the energetic woman you used to be. You would fall asleep while standing, sitting, eating, even talking. It's a miracle you haven't become besties with the floor yet
You and Ran could be found cuddling under the covers for hours, him holding you so close your bodies almost merge. He's delighted to have a worthy sleeping opponent/companion
You become a stage five clinger. Were you an independent woman before? Not anymore. You need Ran to breathe. And if he isn't around, you fall apart like a bowl of spaghetti on the floor
Ran is insufferable about it. He loves being the centre of your attention
One of the easiest births too. The baby just...slides right out. But before you can make it to the hospital. It needs to make a Haitani entrance after all
Did I say the baby is lazy like Ran? They don't even cry... just fall asleep as soon as they're out
Complete carbon copy of Ran
A menace, just like their dad
You have a easy recovery tho
Overall a very luxurious experience as far as pregnancies go
5/5 stars (would do again)
Rindou Haitani
Kicks, kicks, kicks
His baby kicks like its in a boxing match and the opponent is your ribs
Slight nausea but not too much
Since Rindou is a gym bro/health freak, once he finds out, prepare to say bye bye to your favourite junk food
Whatever you are craving, doesn't matter. You're only getting fruits, salads and other doctor approved items
Occasionally let's you have ice cream tho. Only if you cry (he hates seeing you cry)
I firmly believe that Rindou was a tiny baby. And his baby is tiny too. So you show very little (especially if you're on the taller side. Like 5 ft 4 or above)
He makes you do those pregnancy yoga sessions and other physical activities, even if you don't want to (it's for your own benefit, ok?)
It ultimately pays off tho, as you have a very easy delivery. Another baby who just slides right out
Judgemental baby. Looks like they are questioning all your life choices as soon as they are born. Not at all impressed with you guys
Easiest recovery. You are up and walking by the next hour (Say thanks Rindou)
4.5/5 stars (only because you were sweaty and miserable from the workout sessions)
Hajime Kokonoi
This one is difficult
Zero morning sickness but you faint. A lot
Your blood pressure keeps dropping dangerously low and you constantly feel weak and tired
Slightly risky pregnancy, the kind that puts you on a bedrest
Koko is by your side tho
He has the best doctors, nurses, and nutritionists at your beck and call
Whatever you want, you shall have
He holds you tight whenever you cry because you're stressed or in pain
Constantly reassures you that everything will be fine
It was not fine
You have a premature delivery one month before the due date
C-section is needed
Koko is a wreck because he's afraid he's gonna lose everything once again (why am I doing this to Koko he's my fav too)
But worry not. You and baby end up perfectly fine
Another tiny baby. But gorgeous like their dad. Already has Kokoโs calculative aura
Recovery is a bitch for you tho
Koko decides right then that no more babies for you (he can't see you in pain like that ever again)
2.5/5 stars (but Koko made it tolerable so 5 stars to him)
Seishu Inui
Slight nausea and dizziness. But nothing too major
Insanely heightened sense of smell tho
Really bizzare cravings. You start wanting to chug gasoline
The baby is relatively calm. Only slight flutters. Nothing too violent
Inui is super devoted. Wants to make the experience as comfortable for you as possible
The inui genes are so strong that you start missing Koko and demanding his presence
This is especially hilarious in the Bonten timeline because you know nothing about Koko except what Inui has told you
Koko shows up when he finds out (*cough* stalking *cough*). It's awkward but anything for the loml right?
If it's the bad Toman or final timeline, you definitely know Koko so the request isn't as weird. Koko is super smug and ready to do whatever you want
Yeah Inui's baby definitely has him wrapped around their little finger from inside the womb
They know where the money is
Future trustfund baby
The delivery is relatively normal
The baby is an angel. But stoic like Inui
The recovery is a bit of a pain in the ass but nothing out of the ordinary
Inui is a saint. Holding you'd hand, helping you walk, helping you shower, dressing you, feeding you. Everything. He won't let you lift a finger. You've done more than enough. Now let him do his part
4/5 stars (only because your body being ripped open is not cool)
Kakucho Hitto
Moderately easy pregnancy
Extremely nice baby, just like their dad
You don't feel much discomfort like nausea, dizziness, cravings or exhaustion
But you feel powerful kicks (only once in a while because the baby is considerate to their mother)
Very mindful and demure baby
You get slightly emotionally unstable tho, crying whenever your husband does something nice for you
But Kakucho won't stop being there for you
Another saint who would feed and clothe you if you can't do it yourself
He feels guilty for causing you pain and wants to take it away
Is afraid to hold you cause you're fragile (in his eyes)
You definitely needed an epidural
Mindful and demure baby (2)
Didn't immediately want to latch onto you
Grabbed Kakucho instead, giving you time to recover and adjust
Super respectful of your boundaries (all babies should take notes)
Kakucho didn't want to let go once he held his child
Overall pleasant experience
4.5/5 stars (would do again, but not before 2 years)
Kanji Mochizuki
RIP to your pelvis
Mochi is a big guy and so is his baby
If you're below 5 ft 5, you're dead
Strong baby, violent kicks
Nausea, dizziness you feel both
But no weird cravings
You become aggressive tho. Doesn't matter if you were a goddess of sweetness before. Now you're full of murderous rage
The kind of pregnancy where you can't wait for it to be over
Don't get me wrong, you love Mochi, but by the fifth month you just want the baby out
I like to believe that Mochi is very sweet and shy when it comes to relationships (he's probably one of the nicest guys in Bonten. Gentle giant core)
He wants to help but doesn't quite know how
So he ends up all stiff and awkward
But wants you to be as comfortable as possible
Wouldn't even get mad when you throw your sandals at him in frustration
Will wake up in the middle of the night to buy you whatever your midnight craving is
Will hover over you but doesn't wanna crush you. So he avoids touching you
This makes you madder because you want him to hold you
Labour is definitely over 10 hours long with his baby (and I'm being generous)
Did I say RIP? Yeah RIP
Loud baby. Big baby. But super cute
Mochi cries when he holds them for the first time
Recovery is a long process. But Mochi's got you. He's not gonna let you suffer alone. He's gonna hold you together through it all. Awkwardness be damned
Overall experience? Bad
Would you do it again? Maybe
3/5 stars (but worth the pain)
A/N:
I woke up at 5 am to write this because it won't leave my mind.
This is my first time writing so please be kind
Also I have no experience with pregnancy at all. I'm just projecting based on vibes. So sorry for any inaccuracies or mistakes
If you like this and want me to write for other characters, let me know. I am willing to write for anyone except Taiju, Izana and South
One of the nicest pregnancies of the bunch I believe
Not because you don't feel any symptoms
But because he is so good at taking care of you that you can't even find any reason to complain
You're nauseous? He is preparing ginger tea and rubbing circles on your back
You're dizzy? He is gently guiding you to the nearest couch or bench to sit down
You're craving a super specific dessert from a super specific cafรฉ? He's got Hakkai on it (cause he's not leaving your side if he can avoid it)
The kind of person to shave your downstairs if that's what you want
There's no shame or awkwardness with him
Worships your changing body like you're a goddess
He is so good at making you feel comfortable that you won't even shy away from demanding what you need
And that's the ultimate win in his eyes
The baby is kind like mitsuya too
Doesn't bother you much if they can help it
But occasionally the kid shows their delinquent side with a sharp jab to your ribs
Labour and delivery is relatively easy too
Mitsuya is by your side for every second of it
And when he holds your child, your world feels complete
Must I say it again that Mitsuya is with you through it all? Recovery is no exception
Another guy who would bathe and feed you if you can't do it yourself
He would insist on doing it for you even if you can do it yourself because he won't feel useful otherwise (even though he is doing all the household work and newborn care himself)
He is the best
Husband material no.1 for a reason
Overall experience? Heavenly
10/5 stars would definitely do again
Keisuke Baji
Oh this pregnancy is gonna be a nightmare
You will be so nauseous you'll constantly feel your soul try to leave your body through your throat
Say goodbye to your sweet tooth (if you have any)
Cause you'll crave so much spicy food it will literally burn a hole through your heart
You will feel extremely restless and agitated most of the time
Kickmaster baby
They will be so aggressive you won't be able to sleep
Expect tossing and turning. All. Night. Long
Baji actually gets scared of his child whenever he feels those powerful kicks
RIP to his next 18 years cause the kid is definitely a future arsonist
He asks mama Baji if he was that aggressive in the womb as well. When she says yes, he feels so bad he immediately goes out to buy you apology yakisoba
Along with flowers and a handwritten card because he doesn't know how to express his feelings in words (remember his letters to Kazutora? Yeah like that)
He's a bit awkward and unprepared but he's trying his best ok?
He definitely holds your hair back when you puke
Always offers to cook you food
And he is surprisingly good at it
You love whatever he makes
In fact you can only stomach what he cooks
It makes him feel super useful
Labour is long with his kid but you've got that epidural on so you don't feel much
Baji is there to hold your hand
But why do I feel like he'd be the kind of dad to pass out in the delivery room?
The baby is loud and aggressive, screaming their tiny lungs out as soon as they are born
Baji is scared to hold the baby at first. But he learns quick
Recovery is surprisingly easy for you thanks to mama Baji's support
Why isn't Baji present? Well he's busy sitting like a statue holding his baby, trying not to disturb their sleep. He isn't even blinking
Overall experience is not that bad (in hindsight)
Would you do it again? Yes. But I firmly believe Baji is a one child person. So he won't let you
3.7/5 stars (cause the nausea and kicking SUCKED)
Chifuyu Matsuno
Being pregnant with Chifuyu's baby is an experience in transforming into a koala
You just want to smother Chifuyu in hugs and kisses
Cuddles. You demand cuddles. Constantly
His presence gives you cuteness aggression
You keep biting him *chomp*
He lets you
When I tell you you'll be an emotional mess during this pregnancy, I'm not kidding
Everything makes you cry. His manga, stupid TV commercials, bags of pet food, and most importantly, anything baby related
And our empathetic king Chifuyu will cry right alongside you (the Takemichi influence is too strong)
He just can't handle seeing you cry
He WILL find a way to cheer you up
Maybe even do an interpretive dance with Peke J to make you laugh
He's just so doting it makes your heart ache (cue more crying)
Snack runs almost always turn into date nights if you're together
He also keeps your favourite cravings stocked in the house so you don't have to wait for him to run out and grab it
He LOVES to feed you himself
The baby has Chifuyu's pre Baji temperament unfortunately
So expect a tiny delinquent to be fighting your organs constantly
But they come out quick
And they're so tiny and cute your heart melts immediately
Chifuyu has come prepared (unlike Baji)
You see your marshmallow of a husband mature in real time as he holds his baby for the first time
And in that moment you know you chose the right man to have a baby with
He is going to be the sweetest, most supportive dad ever
4.9/5 stars (only cause the baby kicked like a bitch)
Pah-chin
The one thing Pah wasn't impulsive about in his entire life was this baby
Yes. I fully believe this was a well planned pregnancy
So you're both prepared for a lot of things
What you're not prepared for is how hungry you're gonna be
You feel like a demon inhaling everything that's edible in front of you
Sometimes even inedible things
Pah is actually a very supportive partner
He often tries to find something edible that will replicate the taste of whatever bs you're trying to put in your system
He even patiently coaxes the non-consumable 'food' out of your mouth, which is incredibly un-Pah like of him (gentle parenting trial run yay)
And if someone negatively comments on your body, he will show them why he was a Toman captain
Usually Pah is the more impulsive one in the relationship
But now the roles are reversed
You wanna do all sorts of impulsive things now that it's risky
Like lifting heavy furniture, using power tools unsupervised or climbing shaky ladders (nesting am I right?)
He gets a heart attack almost every single day because of this
His poor blood pressure
Your poor blood pressure too
Not because of nesting, but because of the baby
You faint a lot during the first few months
Aggressive dad's aggressive baby. Need I say more?
RIP to your internal organs
He'll get you a private instructor for prenatal yoga sessions tho
Since it's a planned pregnancy, you two wanna be as prepared as possible
So both of you end up taking parenting classes (good parenting 101)
Big baby. Considering that, easy birth
Pah probably paced a hole through the hospital floor in anxiety
He swears the stress will land him in the afterlife before he even gets to see his kid
Mini Pah-chin is chubby and adorable tho so it's all worth it
Did I mention supportive partner? Yes. He is, to no one's surprise, there for you to lean on through every step
Such a sweetheart (shame we saw so little of him)
He has a pretty supportive family too
This makes recovery a breeze. You've got the whole village
Overall? Not a bad experience at all. Would totally do it again
4.8/5 (only because you hated the yoga)
A/N
Hope you all like it!
Not proofread so if you find any mistakes please let me know
Unfortunately I'm still learning the ropes of posting in tumblr so I don't know how to link the previous post (help a girl out) or tag people so sorry in advance
Biker!Megumi who wears all-black gear. Leather jacket, matte helmet, fitted gloves. He claims itโs all just practical, but you can tell he secretly enjoys the whole biker aesthetic. Of course, that doesnโt stop people from staring when he pulls up.
Biker!Megumi who never lets anyone else touch his bike. His bike is his, and if anyone even tries to lean against it, he glares them into next week. But if your asking? He hands you his helmet, no hesitation, pretending itโs no big deal. You donโt miss the way his expression softens when you climb on, though.
Biker!Megumi who lets you ride with him only after weeks of convincing. The first time, heโs pretty tense. Constantly checking that youโre holding on tight enough, reminding you not to lean too much. But once you wrap your arms around him, he relaxes almost instantly.
Biker!Megumi who has a soft spot for late-night rides. When the streets are empty and the stars are out, heโll take you on smooth, slow rides where the only sounds are the hum of the engine and your laughter in his ear.
Biker!Megumi who gets mad whenever Gojo teases him about the โbad boy aesthetic.โ Gojo loves to rile him up, calling him โMr. Broody Motorcycle Boy,โ and while Megumi rolls his eyes, you catch the faint blush on his ears when you admit Gojo isnโt wrong. Heโll scowl, muttering, โItโs not an aesthetic,โ but you can tell he secretly likes that you think itโs hot.
Biker!Megumi who keeps a jacket stashed on his bike just for you. He insists itโs โjust an extraโ in case he forgets his usual jacket, but itโs really because he doesnโt like seeing you shiver. You notice it smells faintly like his cologne, and when you wear it, he gets really quiet, eyes lingering on you like he canโt decide if heโs embarrassed or proud.
Biker!Megumi who is a natural on his bike. The way he moves is precise, controlled, sharp. Weaving through traffic like itโs second nature. You never feel unsafe with him, even during sharp turns or sudden stops. Watching him ride makes you realize how much trust he has in himself, and you admire that unspoken confidence.
Biker!Megumi who doesnโt realize how romantic he looks when he takes off his helmet. His messy hair falls into his eyes, and he runs a gloved hand through it, looking at you like heโs waiting for you to stop staring. When you grin at him, he just mutters, โWhat?โ, and goes back to being all nonchalant and mysterious, but not without the hint of pink on his cheeks.
ยฉfushigurokogane - please do not copy, translate, or plagiarize my work!
.แ.แ this man will constantly flaunt to anyone he meets that you are his because to him, he has you, might as well make it known. you went with him to the corner shop to grab something? yeah at the cashier heโll deffo say โyeah these are for my girlfriendโ. the two of you went to the movies? โyeah a ticket for me and my girlfriendโ, without adding a please of course
.แ.แ i feel like izana is just the type to see someone and like them instantly, love at first sight if you will. the second his eyes met yours he just felt like you were his, like you had to be. he probably would've just sent kakucho to stalk you long enough to know your schedule and a week or so later he started showing up at all the cafes, shops and libraries you always went to and yes of course, at the exact same times as you, epic coincidence
.แ.แ i feel like reader may have rejected him which only made him more annoying, showing up to your work, flirting with your boss and getting her to bully you, getting into your taxi and even having a spare key made so he can enjoy a coffee at your apartment every morning. only when it became unbearable did he leave you alone, only for you to start missing him and you could tell where it went from there
.แ.แ whenever mikey was anywhere near you izana always had that grumpy, jealous pout, glaring at both you and his brother as if you were the most disgusting pest on the planet because you had just called manjiro cute. he would instantly disagree and if he felt that you were showing manjiro too much attention he would childishly shove himself between the two of you or shove mikey aside to take his place or even make some sort of excuse like, 'someone's calling you, it looks hella importaaant!', anything as long as he could get you away from his brother because izana hated sharing, especially with his younger brother
.แ.แ and of course izana had rules and regulations about everything you wore and everywhere you went and everyone you went wherever with to the point that it was becoming a bit irritating. did he care though? of course not. you want to wear something anywhere above your knees without him around? yeah no that wasn't happening, because if he wasn't around, who was gonna beat up the guys that look at you, at what's his?
.แ.แ as possessive as he gets I think he will sometimes get a bit serious, looking you in the eyes and saying โyou know I love you right? youโre not just my trophy, youโre the love of my life too you know that right?โ and heโll constantly clarify it because he genuinely does love you and doesnโt want you to leave him because you think he just sees you as an object but of course, you knew how much he loved you anyways
.แ.แ whenever he has a rough day at work he won't even rage, he'll just postpone all his meetings and hole up in his office before dialling your number, 'put something pretty on' and as instructed you enter his office half an hour later, wearing the new dress he bought you and just seeing you like that, wearing his ring on your finger and the dress he bought you was enough to calm him, to send his mood skyrocketing. he would instantly sit down and get right back to work but not before smothering your face with his kisses first
.แ.แ toman timeline izana is possessive, he's already put his ring on your finger but he hasn't yet put his child in you so that's exactly what he'll yap about at every chance. he'll constantly ask if he can make you a mummy, saying you would look so cute with his baby in your swollen belly and whenever you would whine and say that you'll get fat he would just say its even better that way, 'you would look so scrumptious~ so? is that a yes?' and the fact that he was prepared to let you have his child just meant that he was ready for a family, a family that was yours just as much as it was his
kuroo, bokuto, akaashi, hinata, atsumu, osamu, ushijima x gn!reader
KUROO leans in and whispers in your ear as you dance, โis it bad i want to go home and just lie in bed with you now?โ
โwhy are you whispering as if someone can hear you?โ you snicker back.
tetsurou shoots you a cheeky smile. โso it looks like iโm saying something romantic.โ
you hit his shoulder, and he only laughs before pulling you into a tight hug. you wait for him to let go before replying. โidiot. but no, it isnโt. my back and feet hurt.โ
he hums, and you can feel his fingers tapping your back. โdo you think itโs possible for newly weds to sneak out of their own wedding reception?โ
BOKUTO is walking down the aisle again as everyone disperses to talk or get ready for the reception. you walk up to him, curiosity piqued as he bends down. โwhat are you doing?โ
โhuh?โ
he drops a few petals that he was clutching. โcrapโhi, baby. iโm just, uh, picking up some of the flowers to take with us. i saw someone do it online, and i thought we could press them or put them somewhere,โ he explains softly, as if a little embarrassed.
your heart flutters at the thought, and you smile before reaching down yourself. โwe better get some flowers, then. and a ziploc bag or something.โ
AKAASHI relaxes and rests his head against yours while you watch your guests mingling and dancing. you reach for his hand and intertwine fingers. โyou okay?โ
he nods in response and presses a chaste kiss to your jaw. โyeah, i can finally calm down and not worry about something terrible happening.โ
โmm, something terrible could still happen.โ
โlove of my life, can you please give your husband a break?โ keiji blows air against your skin, eliciting a laugh from you. his tone is light, and you can feel him smiling even while you apologize.
HINATA takes one of the polaroid cameras that you got for the guests. you watch as he poses and takes a picture of himself before handing it to you. โdo you want me to take a selfie?โ
he nods with a grin. โyeah! and also sign it so i can put it in my wallet, or maybe the back of my phone?โ his sentence ends as a question to himself.
you get your phone so you can check your appearance before mimicking your now husbandโs pose. โsho, i swear if mine is bad i want a redo,โ you say.
he sputters as he looks at his forming photo. โwell thatโs good because i definitely screwed mine up. iโm like half in the frame.โ
ATSUMUโs knee bounces as the video of your relationship the both of you got done nears its end. you shoot him a look, but he doesnโt seem to notice, gaze fixed on the scene. thatโs when you hear a familiar voice, but unfamiliar clip start to play.
โitโs, fuck, what day is it? november 13, and iโm pretty sure i need tโlook for an engagement ring,โ your now husband says into the camera.
you gape, shock evident across your face. atsumuโs voice is soft as he says your name. โi love you, really. and if youโre seeing this then i didnโt fuck this up, and you decided to marry me, and iโm probably โbout to have a heart attack,โ he nervously laughs.
you turn to atsumu next to you, whose face is flushed red. โdonโt look at me, the video isnโt done yet.โ
OSAMU keeps holding your hand, and if he isnโt holding it heโs probably thinking of doing so. you donโt mind, finding comfort in the way he rubs the back of it.
youโre sitting together when he silently reaches for it again. โiโm pretty sure youโve held my hand more today than this entire week.โ
osamu rolls his eyes but smiles. you stare as he gently takes hold of your ring and fidgets with it. โsorry, canโt stop thinkinโ about how weโre actually married now.โ
you stare at each other, and he rests his chin in his palm. with his other hand, he brings yours up to press gentle kisses against the ring and your skin. โjust another excuse to stay close tโyou.โ
USHIJIMA looks over when you poke his shoulder, and quickly realizes youโre trying to feed him some cake.
โsay ahh,โ you sing song. itโs a half-joke, and you donโt fully expect him to accept, but he leans forward and opens his mouth, hand underneath the fork to catch any crumbs.
despite his serious expression and stature, you can't help but think he looks cute. โi know we picked this flavour, but does it taste good?โ you ask.
wakatoshi nods. โit was a good choice.โ
he gets a forkful for who you assume is himself. but instead he lifts it toward you. โdo you want to try now?โ
being izana's secretary was a difficult job but being his wife was a whole different type of difficult. if you acted too sweet in front of anyone at work he got all grumpy about you embarrassing him in front of his men but then if you didn't act sweet enough when it was just the two of you he would also get all grumpy and sulky so to say the least, your life was very unpredictable.
y/n, walking: in this meeting they want to discuss-
izana, smiling and strolling beside you: how pretty my wifey is?
you deadpanned at him but he just smirked in response, mumbling about how he thinks the rival gang executives will probably think you're super cute but then watch in agony as he holds your hand because they know they can never have you and how he'll try to contain his smirk as he watches them struggle. you sigh but know better than to try and convince him that the men are just here for the deal and probably aren't gonna bother too much with you.
you were surprised because for once izana was actually right.
you sat beside him as the men discussed various topics, sliding izana and kakucho the sheets they needed when it was necessary and keeping your gaze on the table in front of you but it was hard not to notice. several of the men were throwing you suggestive glances, some smirking at you, others just genuinely focused on the meeting and one who just shamelessly stared at you the entire meeting. you were almost 100% certain that he wasn't even focusing on the conversation at all.
you were sure izana had noticed too and you confirmed it when you looked up at the wicked smirk consuming his expression and the hand slithering to rest on your thigh in an obvious show of possessiveness. you had to hold back a sigh at how predictable he was, squeezing occasionally as if to make sure you were paying attention, as if to remind you that you were his.
the meeting ended uneventfully and izana dismissed the men who began to file out the room until it was just you, izana, kakucho and for some reason the man who had been shamelessly checking you out the whole time. that reason, you were about to find out. you didn't actually believe someone could ever approach you with izana in the same room but apparently this guy didn't care, or maybe he was just slow and hadn't made the connection but either way, even kakucho raised a brow and watched as the man strutted closer.
man: hey...sexy girl.
you had to compose yourself because a snort almost erupted from your lips and kakucho's eyes were now wider than the grand canyon. it was izana's expression however that you were interested in seeing so you glanced his way. just as your eyes reached the white haired man you felt him place a hand, wrapping his slender fingers just above your waist before pulling you flush against his side and shifting forward, as if to warn the man to back away, and that was honestly all it took. izana was a scary man especially when jealous.
izana, smile sinister: what do you have to say to my woman..?
man, slightly alarmed: e-err..n..nothing..
you gulped slightly because his tone was enough to make hardened criminals whimper and his gaze would probably make them piss themselves. his fingers dug deeper into your side, warm and strangely comfortable; they made you feel secure. meanwhile the guy just looked around awkwardly before nodding at izana and scurrying after the rest of his men. kakucho had already erased the small smirk from earlier so you decided to let it slide, the guy barely smiled.
you peeked up at your husband with a small cheeky grin only for him to smile down at you threatengly.
izana: what? did you enjoy all that attention, huh?
y/n, teasing: whaaat...i never said that..
izana, now about to sulk: so you did?
you ambushed him with a kiss before he could pout and it shut him up real good. he stood up straight, adjusting his suit before huffing cockily.
izana, mumbling: that's what i thought..
you giggled and linked your arm with his, catching him by surprise for a moment before he smirked, allowing you to drag him off to eat lunch.
a/n: @idk-what-myurl-shouldbe srry if this took a while (i was drowning) here ya go!
warnings: new mini series requested, angst, awkward, kissing, crying, knives, mentions of killing, swearing, fem!reader but any gender is fine, timeskip, blood, coma, trauma, longing, yearning, unrequited love, reader, kazutora, manjiro and all other toman characters mentioned are adults in this chapter - toman era
๐ฅ๐๐ง๐ฉ ๐ฃ๐๐ฃ๐
หหโโโโโ
kazutoraโs footsteps were heavy against the concrete, filled with purpose, his gaze fixated on the hospital as it came into view. he knew what he was doing was wrong, he had lied to you about something coming up and convinced you to go out with the others so that he could be sure you were distracted but it didnโt make it any easier, not when his pocket knife was burning into his side, dripping with sin. the doors slid wide open, too welcoming, the desk assistant too cheerful when she smiled up at him and handed him a key with full trust.
โsano manjiro, right?โ
he was a jerk, an asshole, selfish and had been called much more and in this moment he could feel the adrenaline, feel the hatred consuming him, hatred for the man who had both made your life a heaven but also a hell. kazutora had turned izana down and warned him not to approach anyone he loved ever again but deep down a part of him was waiting for a situation like this, an excuse to rid you of the one misery you had in your life, of mikey. he wanted to pull the plug a while ago but you were too stubborn and he knew that the others from toman would probably be after his head if he tried but it made his heart ache. he hated watching as the distress settled into your expression every weekend when you would visit manjiro, when you would have that one sided conversation with someone who might not even be listening, who might never listen again.
kazutora thought that maybe, just maybe, if mikey was no longer around in any form, maybe you might be able to move on, find some closure, start a new life. sure your life was flowing as usual, you had started college and were studying for your dream job but would you stay single forever? would your hair turn grey and your skin crumple before manjiro woke up? because if that was the case, you would probably die alone and that was what terrified him. he was tired of watching from the side lines, tired of being the reserve who didn't have a say, didn't have an impact on your life.
yet his hands shook. his knife hovered right over manjiro's throat, sweat pooling down his temples, breaths coming out in raspy pants, as his pupils danced around his orbs. his hand refused to move even after he used the other; the knife just wouldn't move any closer. he hadn't ever killed someone before, hadn't ever thought of it either, even the little squabbles he would have with other gang members never made him mad enough to ponder murder. then there was you. he hadn't ever killed anyone but he knew from the moment he fell for you that if he ever ended up killing anyone, it would probably be for you.
the repetitive ticking of the clock behind him, the beeping of the machines propped up beside manjiros' bed, the slight but noticeable creak of the bed each time he shifts, knees digging into the mattress burning against his clothes. his pants sped up, turning to short gasps as he slowly began to raise the blade higher and higher before he closed his eyes, bringing the blade down, hard.
thud.
it was warm. a weak, warm arm, pushing back against his own. kazutora's eyes snapped open just to find himself looking into those same eyes. obsidian orbs wide, surprised, but as usual not wide enough for this type of situation, long black eyelashes which weren't laying against his cheeks for the first time in years. for a long moment the two boys just stared, eyes locked together, neither of them able to break it first before those same, dry lips that hadn't uttered a word for the past five years parted.
manjiro: ..k...az...utora.
kazutora had no idea what this feeling was but it was starting to consume him. his chest suddenly felt heavy, throat dry, head aching and his eyes began to well up with salty tears before they fell onto mikey's soft, pale cheek.
manjiro: kazutora..
he couldn't hold it in anymore. he just collapsed burying his face into mikey's shoulder, allowing himself to be engulfed by that blonde overgrown bush as he sobbed his heart out. the frustration, anger, sorrow, yearning, he cried it all out.
๐ฆ๐๐ง๐ฃ๐ข๐ซ๐จ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฏ:
manjiro finally sat up after a while. the nurses rushed in, did their tests and checkups and making sure he was feeling alright before they began to file out.
nurse, before leaving: should we contact your visitor? y/n l/n?
manjiro's breath hitched at the name, eyes wide and mouth hung open as he stared at the nurse as if she had just uttered a spell, a mantra which he knew all too well. hearing your name again made him feel as if he had just woken up from a long, horrifying dream.
kazutora: no...it's fine.
the nurse nodded in response before taking her leave, sliding the door shut behind herself. the boys sat side by side on the edge of the bed, each unsure of what to say next. manjiro kept his eyes striaght ahead and kazutora did the exact same, the silence consuming the air in the room slowly but surely. mikey had too many questions. he remembers each and every one of your conversations with him, your voice echoing softly somewhere in his mind but pitch black was all he could see, as if he was having a long, dark dream with nowhere to go.
kazutora: ...what was it like? the coma..
manjiro: just...felt like a long nap. a long nightmare.
kazutora, finally glancing at him briefly: so was it like people say? could u hear and feel everything?
manjiro, sighing: parts..i remember her voi-
his gaze sunk back into his lap as it all came rushing back. the way he had allowed himself to be consumed by his own darkness, the way he stood back as the impulses ripped away from him everything he loved, let it take him away from you. his heart felt heavy and speaking another word suddenly felt like an assignment, he couldn't bring himself to ask about you after everything he did, after the pain he must've put you through. luckily, kazutora happened to know sano manjiro in a way nobody else did, not even draken.
kazutora, sighing and smacking his back lightly: y/n right? don't worry..she's doing better than you are.
kazutora: yeah, started college, on track to get her dream job and she even got a new boyfriend
manjiro's head snapped round instantly, eyes wider than usual and a look of disbelief on his face. kazutora instantly burst into tears of laughter leaving manjiro to connect the dots before rolling his eyes and bringing the palm of his hand round the gold and black locks on the back of kazutora's head in a light smack.
kazutora, his smile fading: ..it was a joke...she could never, loves you way too much.
๐ค๐๐ณ๐ฎ๐ญ๐จ๐ซ๐ ๐ฉ๐จ๐ฏ:
this time the silence was unbearable, so much so that kazutora decided to take his leave, manjiro reaching for his cell phone which the nurses had brought by.
manjiro: ..i should probably call emz.
kazutora: yeah..you should. the guys were also really worried, cya.
he slid the door closed behind him, slowly, lost in thought. the knife he had brought with him ended up tucked back against his thigh without tasting the blood of manjiro sano but deep down he knew that even if manjiro hadn't woken up, he wouldn't have been able to get the job done. sure, manjiro had made your life a living hell but try as he might, kazutora couldn't deny how much manjiro meant to him. his first ever role model, the first guy who stood up for him be it against his parents, against his bullies, against his 'friends', manjiro was the first person in his life who laughing along and fitting in with didn't work, mikey was the first person to call him out for it. even baji hadn't done that, his first proper friend.
kazutora's feed moved on their own, gaze locked onto his laces before he noticed the two drops of blood on his jacket, probably from where he had shut his eyes and cut his finger instead in his attempt at killing manjiro. karma really is a bitch. his eyes latched onto a small sake stand and he found himself drifting towards it, clonking down onto the small bench and ordering a few shots. probably more than just a few, but he couldn't really remember. he had dunked some cash onto the small table before disappearing until a loud but all too familiar voice caught on his ears, drifting through the night breeze.
y/n, giggling: misssterrrr!! hey mister...heh...your hair...ahaha...it looks like a banana tree!
his heart ached. it was probably the alcohol but his head was throbbing, fingers trembling in his pockets and he had the strong urge to cry. that same cute, gleefully drunk smile, that one face, that soft hair, those small ears, that sweet perfume, those features of the one person he really didn't want to see right now were all before him, too close, too intrusive.
kazutora remembers clearly the first time he fell for you, even if that first time was years and years ago. he remembers how you looked then compared to know, he remembers everything down to that tugging he felt in his chest, that flutter he felt in his abdomen. he had loved you for so long, too long and just when he thought he would finally have a chance with you after manjiro fell ill, that hope was shattered and that was the final straw, his heart couldn't take anymore torture, he couldn't keep lying to himself, couldn't keep yearning forever, he had to let go. he was scared, terrified even but his hands reached toward you, the alcohol fuelling his confidence as he pressed his lips to yours, peeling away without the courage to spare a glance at your teary face.
goodbye, y/n
@manjirosdorayakii
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