løv3sick @teutza - Tumblr Blog

helvarcult

“some people would say those toys were well loved.”

likeafieldmouse-deactivated2015

Andrew Wyeth

1. Winter, 1946

2. Turkey Pond, 1944

3. Christina’s World, 1948

watermotif

Veil thick as fuck today

turninginyourstomach

That shit your daddy smoked in Vietn a a a a a am

ledwinged

sacred-portal

nataliescatorccioapologist

The way Nat sobs like a little kid in this scene absolutely broke me. We have never seen Nat openly sob like this— not when her dad died, not when the plane crashed, not when Javi or Jackie died, not even when she killed Coach. This is Nat finally losing any hope or resolve that she had left.

blackeye2kissesxx

sometimes, you make me wanna put my fucking head in the wall

sometimes, i wonder if i ever even knew you at all

catcheroflies

how dare you make her cry

maniacpixiedreamgirl

when shauna picked self care and had to watch the goat in a lesson of giving yourself off to the other and being responsible for the care and safety of an innocent child and she couldnt see the connection with motherhood even tho she had callie bc all she could think of was then being forced to sacrifice/watch the goat die like she had to watch her first baby die. she cant love or care for callie bc she is waiting for the day she dies and/or bc her body cant give her the care she needs bc she failed the first time so she is never secure that she can do it for callie. she didnt even want callie she only had her bc having callie and marrying jeff was the only way to make jackies last fight with her not be for nothing bc then it means she and jeff and her baby had a future and wasnt just a thing she did to bring her best friend utter misery and cause her death. so she cant fucking care for the goat she cant care for herself bc jackie dressed her and did her makeup and tell her what to like or not like. she was jackies doll and she turned jackie into her own doll she broke her and then how could she throw her away so she eats her bc jackie never threw her away even she wasnt perfect like jackie and she was her best friend so she eats jackie and she has baby and she marries jeff and she has the baby again. and she has to take care of the goat but she can't take care of anything bc jackie always did, jackie always took care of the team except when the plane fell and Jackie didn't know what to do bc she was so bad at but shauna took the hunting knife and she bled the animals and she popped the bones and sliced and cured the meats and it was dirty and unglamorous work but she did it for years she peeled human skin from meat bc the team needed to be fed and taken care of so she did it and she didnt ask for extra portions even tho she had the right to and she kept doing and taking care of them even when they didnt chose her and even when they used her baby for their own distraction and entertainment and even mystical bullshit bc she gives and gives and she has to give her care to the goat and take care of it. so she marries jeff and takes care of him and she has callie and takes care of her and she gives up her whole future and brown and jacque the mime bc she has to take care of them bc jackie took care of her and jackie is gone but she isnt bc she lives in her bc she ate her and she wakes up every morning next to her boyfriend and goes to her parents house and her uniform is in her closet and she can't take care of the goat.

how can she take care of goat is she meant to with it all day sacrificing herself for it like staying home and cooking and cleaning and driving and doing the laundry and she doesn't know what it needs bc she doesnt have her phone so she doesnt know if it can eat the rope or how to make him breastfeed or how to make her wanna spend time with her and loved her but she makes a home and food and the groceries and takes of everything for callie bc callie is the kid who lived and you gonna have to sacrifice the goat. bc callie goes to parties and has a boyfriend and smokes and is going to college and hates her mom bc she is lame and is vegetarian bc she has veggie burgers in the freezer. and you cant take care of the goat and get close to callie bc she doesnt live under jackies shadow or by the wilderness or with ptsd and to get close to callie and have a true connection with the kid you would have to tell her about the baby and the kids and jackie and eating and the sacrifices and bring callie into it and you cant let callie get to you know and callie thinks you are superficial bc she feels distant from you and you cant tell her what you feel. and she hates callie bc she has to take care of her but she cant take care of her bc jackie took care of her and jackie is gone and callie is kid and she was supposed to be the kid but she gave it up to honor the shit she did to jackie so now she has to take care of the goat to prove she knows sacrifice and care and what about when the goat is supposed to be killed in the sacrifice so she cant love the kid. even tho she cooked and cleaned and held and protected her and she gave it all up to give her everything and wants to spend time with callie but callie is the kid and she wants to be out with her friends and boyfriend and parties like jackie liked being out with her friends and boyfriend and parties and she is wearing jackies uniform and you cant tell so she doesn't know you bc she will hate you if she knows and people will hate you both if they know or maybe you will have to kill her if she knows bc she will hate you bc you had to kill him bc you thought he knew. she has to take of the goat but she finally got to be the kid and be with the lover and feel young and cared for again but she killed her bc she cant be loved and cared for bc she killed and ate jackie and had Jeff's baby and now callie knows bc you cheated and callie knows bc you killed him and callie knows and now she lives in jackies shadow and by the wildness bc you brought it back with you and you passed it down to her. and you cant take care of the goat bc to take care of the goat is to learn to sacrifice and care for the other so you can care for yourself but to care for jackie was to only care for jackie and for jackie to care for you was to only to care for her and callie lied to cop about randy and callie lied in the station about assault to protect you and care for you bc she doesn't want you in jail bc you cooked and cleaned for her and you fed her. so she cares of you. and you take care of her and you cant let her talk to them bc she will know what you did and you cant let it happen to you. bc you wont let her die. and she wont let you die. bc its you and her against the world.